# Bullied Grandmother...really? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 21, 2012, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854 "2012-06-21T16:26:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/81 "2012-06-22T16:57:09Z")
> [@SteveG1](#): > > That just makes it worse in my view. It shows that this was no childish on the spot implulse, but deliberate malice. Stuff like this takes on a life of its own. When I was young, and at summer camp, someone came up with the brilliant idea to prank one of the counselors. The prank involved dozens of buckets of water wielded by youthful jerks (like myself). At the end of the prank, Mr Counselor lost his shit and wound up fired as a result. I felt bad because I actually liked the guy. Something that NOBODY would have done by himself becomes a fun group activity. What starts of as “let’s screw with the bus monitor” turns into “let’s see how far this can go” and before you know it, it’s a really shitty thing to do to someone. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/82 "2012-06-22T17:06:04Z")
All you people saying she was not doing her job what do you expect she should have done? Cursed back at the kids? She’s fired. Get in the kids faces and tell them to knock it off? She’s fired. Physically touch them? She’s fired. Telling them if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all? She did that. It ecouraged them to get nastier. I suspect her only power was telling the admins what happened after it happened. She was the bus monitor. She was not the bus Judge Dredd. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/83 "2012-06-22T17:09:41Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > Get in the kids faces and tell them to knock it off? She’s fired. Why would this get her fired? Surely public schools haven’t become that bad? ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/84 "2012-06-22T17:11:44Z")
> [@ExTank](#): > > If these little fuckers were willing to single out and harrass/bully a 68 y/o woman, I readily see them being the same type of animals that would physically attack a senior citizen for fun. > > That district needs a Gunnery Sergeant Hartman as bus monitor. “I do not look down on geeks, sportos, motorheads, dweebs, dorks, sluts or buttheads. Here you are all equally worthless and my job is to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to belong on this bus.” It’s not as if the grandma made this video to show the world how mean children are, this is a woman taking abuse she should never have had to put up with. She isn’t right for this job but the OP is out of line. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/85 "2012-06-22T17:22:25Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > Speaking of negativity, did anybody see the woman on Anderson Cooper last night? While admittedly she’s had a peculiar week, I have to say that she seems one of the most negative and unlikeable human beings ever; I somehow doubt she’s a regular at the local Karaoke bar. She basically dismissed the money that was donated as “I’ll believe it when I get it”, said she believes a couple of the kids should be banned from riding the bus or playing sports for at least a year, and when AC (with a really weird kind of disturbing smile) told her that an airline was giving her 10 roundtrip tickets and a 3 night stay at Disneyland she only marginally perked up and said she’d take her family, except for a couple of them. > > While the kids are little bastards and their actions are inexcusable I really do hope their lives are made temporarily hell over this (nothing permanent, but enough to let them know that assholery can have consequences), it’s easy to see why they didn’t like her to begin with. I hope she uses a part of the money for treatment for counseling because she seems to be broken and I doubt it started on the bus. This reminds of an RA I once had who was a total hall monitor style douchebag. Everything about him was unlikeable, so it didn’t take long before taunting and retaliation took place. The teasing occurred on a regular basis, and some of the pranks became over the top cruel and humiliating. One day I actually felt pretty bad for the guy when he broke down crying. “Aww, poor dude,” I thought. And then I thought, “But why’s he such a dick, though?” No, I’m not saying the little asshole 8th graders should have taunted the old woman regarding her son committing suicide, or over anything, for that matter. I would have punched those little shits in their throats, probably. Just relaying a story of how these things can sometimes go. Someone’s an asshole, so everyone else starts to tease and pick on them, and often lose sight (especially with kids) of the difference between telling someone to fuck off and being all-out inhuman. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/86 "2012-06-22T17:31:54Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > This reminds of an RA I once had who was a total hall monitor style douchebag. Everything about him was unlikeable, so it didn’t take long before taunting and retaliation took place. The teasing occurred on a regular basis, and some of the pranks became over the top cruel and humiliating. One day I actually felt pretty bad for the guy when he broke down crying. “Aww, poor dude,” I thought. And then I thought, “But why’s he such a dick, though?” Stephen King has said that one of the real life inspirations for _Carrie_ was a girl from his middle school who was mercilessly picked on by the mean kids, but while a few of the good kids and some of the teachers stood up for her not even they could say they _liked_ her. In fact, it wasn’t even a matter of being neutral to her- even they kind of disliked her because, even taking into account the abuse she endured, she was just a uniquely unpleasant person. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/87 "2012-06-22T17:36:41Z")
Until its legal for adults to punch kids in the mouth who behave like this, these things will continue happening ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/88 "2012-06-22T17:41:54Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > All you people saying she was not doing her job what do you expect she should have done? > > Cursed back at the kids? She’s fired. > > Get in the kids faces and tell them to knock it off? She’s fired. > > Physically touch them? She’s fired. > > Telling them if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all? She did that. It ecouraged them to get nastier. > > I suspect her only power was telling the admins what happened after it happened. She was the bus monitor. She was not the bus Judge Dredd. Speaking as someone who has worked with high school students for eight years now, your position here is a bit of an odd one. Certainly, you should never curse at children, “get in their faces,” physically assault them, or be passive aggressive. But do you honestly think those are the only options? A stern voice and a serious demeanor fixes quite a bit with a lot of kids, surprisingly enough. I’ve gotten rooms of 300+ rowdy, crazy acting teenagers to sit the hell down silently and listen to me just by (loudly) saying, “ALRIGHT. That is ENOUGH. SIT DOWN RIGHT NOW.” The key is you’ve got to be believable- I might be a 5’3’’ little prissy thing, but I can be pretty intimidating when I look mad (or so the kids tell me). That body language, coupled with “teacher voice” (every good teacher I know has one), usually will do the trick. Part of the problem though is no doubt the fact that this obviously had gone on throughout the rest of the year. Now, I’m not saying it was this bad at all, but throughout the year, the kids will test and push a little bit farther and farther to see what they can get away with-- and this is the end result. That’s why it’s so darned important to nip this shit in the bud the absolute first time it pops up. Just the other day, I explained this philosophy to one of my debate students and he said, “Oh, so THAT’S why you’re so mean at the beginning of the year.” 😃 I’m not pretending to be an expert, but this isn’t rocket science and those kids aren’t total social paths. They are preteens who pushed and pushed the boundaries as far as they could, just to see what they could get away with. What they ended at will never, ever be ok, but I think the bigger issue displayed here is that there is clearly a much larger discipline and respect problem at that school than is even shown on that tape. ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/89 "2012-06-22T17:45:42Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > Until its legal for adults to punch kids in the mouth who behave like this, these things will continue happening Drill sergeants don’t touch cadets and they have no problem keeping discipline. What mother doesn’t develop the ‘stink eye’? ---
**Author:** ![Kenm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bc79bd/32.png) [@Kenm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kenm)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/90 "2012-06-22T18:01:48Z")
> [@Sitnam](#): > > Drill sergeants don’t touch cadets and they have no problem keeping discipline. Because the U.S. Marines and a 68-year-old woman on a school bus are the same. ---
**Author:** ![Acid\_Lamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Acid\_Lamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acid_Lamp)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/91 "2012-06-22T18:23:36Z")
> [@Sitnam](#): > > Drill sergeants don’t touch cadets and they have no problem keeping discipline. What mother doesn’t develop the ‘stink eye’? I fully endorse subjecting those little shitheads to pushups, laps and stress positions. It would help the abysmal level of physical fitness of the average kid today as well. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/92 "2012-06-22T18:30:56Z")
I think her fund is almost $500,000 now. That’s one hell of a vacation. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/93 "2012-06-22T18:31:57Z")
> [@Farmer\_Jane](#): > > Just because it’s a 68 year old woman doesn’t make it less horrific. Yes, yes it does make it less horrific. The reason I don’t like calling this instance “bullying” is where do you draw the line if you start expanding the definition? Bullying should mean picking on those that are weaker, not verbal abuse to those in power. If a few twelve year olds saying mean things to a bus monitor is bullying, is a few twelve year olds saying mean things to a teacher also bullying? What if it’s just one twelve year old saying vile things to a teacher? Is that bullying? Where is the line drawn now? ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/94 "2012-06-22T18:32:35Z")
> [@Kenm](#): > > Because the U.S. Marines and a 68-year-old woman on a school bus are the same. You should have included \*\*Sitnam’s \*\*whole statement. It’s clear to me that it is very possible to learn how to control people without touching them. It’s called “being in control.” Some people are, some people aren’t. The latter shouldn’t be teachers, bus monitors, cops, drill sergeants, parents or Dope moderators. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/95 "2012-06-22T18:50:21Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > I think her fund is almost $500,000 now. That’s one hell of a vacation. Yeah, but she doesn’t look like the hookers n blow type so I don’t know how’s she’s gonna spend all that cash. Maybe she can rent out all of Six Flags Over Georgia for the day? ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/96 "2012-06-22T19:02:30Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > Yeah… it wasn’t an actual suggestion, and even if it was victims of the other crimes are not the topic of the thread and the victims didn’t receive a huge windfall, and nobody anywhere is suggesting this is the worst thing ever to happen, but thank you for your input. :rolleyes: You’re welcome. I just wanted to point out that the part of you that > [@](#): > > hopes Karen Klein uses part of her $200,000 windfall to hire some middle school inner city gangs to come to Greece and kick some snarking middle school ass. is the dumb part. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/97 "2012-06-22T19:13:23Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > I’m not pretending to be an expert, but this isn’t rocket science and those kids aren’t total social paths. I hate to think where those kids’ social paths are \*leading \*to, though. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/98 "2012-06-22T19:15:39Z")
> [@saoirse](#): > > You’re welcome. I just wanted to point out that the part of you that > > is the dumb part. Dumb, to which I will add ‘clueless’ and ‘self righteous’, pretty much everything you bring to this and several other threads. You do realize that 1- This is a thread specifically about, almost exclusively about, a particular incident and not about “bad things in northwest New York state in general” 2- Not a single solitary person on this thread seems to be of the opinion, in so far as I can tell or in so far as is evident, that this is the worst thing that has ever happened or could possibly happen and thus needs their perspective broadened 3- Nobody is truly calling for physical violence against the kids Neh? You’re adding nothing in your posts, and if you can’t recognize sarcasm, then go… well, really, I don’t care where you go, but please do go there. ---
**Author:** ![D-bear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@D-bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D-bear)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/99 "2012-06-22T19:26:23Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > I think her fund is almost $500,000 now. That’s one hell of a vacation. Any Accountants here? What kind of “Gift Tax” is she going to have to pay on her windfall? You know the IRS is going to have it’s hand out on this one… ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2012, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/100 "2012-06-22T19:27:16Z")
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