# Bullied Grandmother...really? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 21, 2012, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854 "2012-06-21T16:26:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/121 "2012-06-23T00:47:29Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > What bugs me most about this is the term “bullying”. The word has gotten so watered down that it now seems to encompass twelve year olds saying rude things to an adult who is supposed to be supervising them. That’s not bullying, and I think it does a disservice to actual victims. Think of it this way, bullying is about power differential. Short of a serious assault, the most any of these kids is going to suffer is a suspension or some detention. As its the last day of school, they know any punishment is meaningless and unenforcable. Plenty of these kids are probably off to high school as freshman next year. I don’t wish for it, but I doubt many of them will have pleasant experiences being introduced to the other side of the proverbial coin. ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/122 "2012-06-23T01:02:51Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > The circumstances are different. Like the Stanford Prison Experiment and Stanley Milgram taught us, surrounded by circumstances where you are expected to obey, most people fall into stereotypical roles. Rare is the person who can go against the tide and stand out. The kids knew the lady was old and couldn’t hit them, they had no fear of her. They were being egged on by each other, trying to one up the previous taunter with crueller words. Maybe if she was known as a mean old lady, they would have been quiet, but she didn’t project that image and the bullies took advantage of that A woman who has raised children and has possibly been influential in raising another generation would have, should have, the skills to command authority. Yeah they were egged on in this instance, yeah the children had a pack mentality infused with the last-day-of-school enthusiasm. But this wasn’t her first day, and I can’t believe no other child on that bus ever said anything to their parents. Something was known by adults before this incident that should have changed this situation. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/123 "2012-06-23T02:01:46Z")
> [@drachillix](#): > > Think of it this way, bullying is about power differential. Yes, it is. And the bus monitor is supposed to be the one _in power_. Am I supposed to view the situation like **Farmer Jane** , and think that her incompetence at exerting the innate power of her years and her job makes her the same type of victim as a kid who is beaten up twice a week for being gay? Because I am not going to do that. Not every form of verbal abuse is “bullying”. Again, I ask the simple question: if we are going to start calling this bullying, is it also bullying if kids do that to a teacher instead of a bus monitor? What if it’s just one kid saying vile things to a teacher, is that still bullying? What if it’s a bunch of people screaming obscenities at a cop in a situation where he can’t do anything about it? Is that bullying? ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/124 "2012-06-23T03:13:11Z")
I’m not saying she’s competent at her job, but she seems to be a depressive. As mentioned, when AC360 interviews her you can tell this is not just a sweet little lady, but she’s old, probably near broke (before this weirdass windfall- where’s this generosity with… well, another thread) because I doubt she’s doing this job for mad money, she’s fat, probably has health problems- I doubt it was deliberate sloth so much as she just didn’t have any spark or fight left in her and probably knew she was the wrong person for the job but needed the paycheck. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/125 "2012-06-23T03:29:21Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > Again, I ask the simple question: if we are going to start calling this bullying, is it also bullying if kids do that to a teacher instead of a bus monitor? What if it’s just one kid saying vile things to a teacher, is that still bullying? What if it’s a bunch of people screaming obscenities at a cop in a situation where he can’t do anything about it? Is that bullying? Yes. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/126 "2012-06-23T03:46:54Z")
**Guin** , do you honestly think every instance of unanswered verbal invective is an example of bullying? Everybody, please don’t think I lack sympathy for the bus monitor. The invective hurled at her was off the chain. It was verbal abuse and harassment, but if we are going to try to stop bullying in schools in order to protect children, we shouldn’t allow the word to expand to include insubordination. Disrespect of authority figures, no matter how extreme, has very little in common with [actual bullying](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/08/rachel-ehmke-13-year-old-_n_1501143.html). We shouldn’t lose sight of that. She was in no way their peer - that’s the difference. It’s like protestors screaming obscenities at a cop. No one in their right mind is going to say that the cop was “bullied” and deserves a half million dollar vacation because some PETA types said he should die, no matter how bad he was at exerting his authority. ---
**Author:** ![gamerunknown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6bbea6/32.png) [@gamerunknown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gamerunknown)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 9:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/127 "2012-06-23T09:45:33Z")
> [@YogSothoth](#): > > Until its legal for adults to punch kids in the mouth who behave like this, these things will continue happening Doubt you’d find instances like this in Japan, which has outlawed corporal punishment (which is really only effective for [immediate cessation of behaviour](http://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2002/06/spanking.aspx)) ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/128 "2012-06-23T11:15:39Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > Until its legal for adults to punch kids in the mouth who behave like this, these things will continue happening Well, until it’s _again_ legal, anyway. Had the kids been getting rowdy in the back of a covered wagon on the Overland Trail, nobody would blink if Phoebe Judson rolled out the refreshment cart and started serving knuckle sandwiches. ---
**Author:** ![Omega\_Glory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/7c8e57/32.png) [@Omega\_Glory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omega_Glory)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/129 "2012-06-23T12:19:25Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > I bristled at the use of her first name. I thought kids were still expected to use titles when addressing their elders. Is this not the case? I grew up in this area, and no, that’s often not the case, nor is it a new thing. Teachers and principals had titles, but bus drivers, lunch ladies, janitors etc. often introduced themselves by first name, so that’s what we called them. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/130 "2012-06-23T12:22:26Z")
> [@Omega\_Glory](#): > > I grew up in this area, and no, that’s often not the case. Teachers and principals had titles, but bus drivers, lunch ladies, janitors etc. often introduced themselves by first name, so that’s what we called them. That is odd to me, but I believe you. ---
**Author:** ![Omega\_Glory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/7c8e57/32.png) [@Omega\_Glory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omega_Glory)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/131 "2012-06-23T12:37:28Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > That is odd to me, but I believe you. I understand. When I go down south and it’s a constant flow of 'Mr. \_\_, Miss \_\_\_, and people saying ma’am to to their mothers, it’s odd to me, too. People do use titles here, but it’s not all formality, all the time. ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/132 "2012-06-23T12:38:23Z")
It’s up to almost six hundred thousand. There are a lot of things I’d do for that kind of money. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/133 "2012-06-23T12:41:06Z")
> [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](#): > > It’s up to almost six hundred thousand. There are a lot of things I’d do for that kind of money. You want me to bully you? I have a camera we can use! I’ll identify myself as my twin sister so the hate mail will be directed towards her. We can get **Vinyl Turnip** to direct the whole thing. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/134 "2012-06-23T19:11:56Z")
For $600K you could dig up the dead bones of my parents and play them like a xylophone while you use every fat and gay joke you can think of, then I’ll sit silent while Sarah Palin gives an extemporaneous lecture on American history. The $600K is just absolutely disgusting overkill; the kids molested by Sandusky won’t get anything remotely close to that and their lives were affected one hell of a lot more. ---
**Author:** ![D-bear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@D-bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D-bear)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/135 "2012-06-23T19:47:36Z")
Maybe it’s deserving of it’s own thread, (I’m not much for thread starting) but hopefully people at indiegogo will help [Asher, a 14 year old transsexual](http://www.advocate.com/youth/2012/06/23/trans-kid-seeks-help-school) be able to afford tuition to a school where he won’t be subjected to bullying. Indiegogo is the same site that busmonitor Karen’s windfall came from… ---
**Author:** ![phxjcc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8491ac/32.png) [@phxjcc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phxjcc)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/136 "2012-06-23T21:22:36Z")
> [@Acid\_Lamp](#): > > I fully endorse subjecting those little shitheads to pushups, laps and stress positions. It would help the abysmal level of physical fitness of the average kid today as well. 😃 I agree to the physical stress punishment via laps/pushups/“your favorite position” similar to a military unit’s punishment–however, IMO the punishment should be for the entire busload–because some of the ‘little darlings’ classmates could have ended it. Now–not intending a threadjack, but just a simple question: When I was in Jr. High in the mid-60’s, if the locker room was left messy on day one, then on day two the PE period would be spent with the entire class running laps and doing pushups. Is this still done in schools today? FYI–this was public school, Los Angeles USD. It worked. Of course in my day, we also had “swats” administered in PE as punishment for poor behavior in the classroom. You did not want these. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/137 "2012-06-24T02:22:05Z")
Just thought I would toss in this [AP story about bullying](http://news.yahoo.com/bullying-teachers-more-damaging-online-era-131037020.html) – if that’s the right term for it – of teachers and administrators by students using online technology. It might even be that some of the actions described in it are criminal. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/138 "2012-06-24T15:55:37Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > You want me to bully you? I have a camera we can use! > > I’ll identify myself as my twin sister so the hate mail will be directed towards her. > > We can get **Vinyl Turnip** to direct the whole thing. What would be really awesome is if you posted a clip of **not what you’d expect** verbally reaming you and beating you up. Then collect 6 figures in donations from well meaning people, and after a few weeks release the whole video showing you bullying him until he blows up and beat you up. All good movies need a twist. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/139 "2012-06-24T17:56:52Z")
I believe the children are our future… And we are totally screwed. ---
**Author:** ![al27052](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/41988e/32.png) [@al27052](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/al27052)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854/140 "2012-06-24T18:02:21Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > I believe the children are our future… > > And we are totally screwed. People have been saying this for a looooong time. The fact is, though, most people end up learning compassion, one way or another. Life kicks most of use around enough, by a certain age, that we learn compassion. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullied-grandmother-really/625854.md?page=8)