# Bullshit job applic. requirements **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 7, 2021, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullshit-job-applic-requirements/952100 "2021-10-07T21:19:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2021, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullshit-job-applic-requirements/952100/41 "2021-10-08T17:30:16Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > Through Indeed as part of the application process. > They made it seem like my application wouldn’t even go through, unless I spent the time filling out the additional “skills assessment” questions. Yeah, Indeed is a bit “special”, in that way. I think the application still goes through, as I would get a number of applications with “not completed” as the result. Sometimes a “requests special accomodation”, which I couldn’t tell if that meant they needed help taking the test, or if they requested special accommodation about their unreliability. As I said, I stopped using them, as they don’t seem to actually correlate positively with the actual traits I am looking for. Indeed is still a useful site to get candidates, as that is where job seekers are looking, but all the other “bells and whistles” that they put on there are either useless or actually counterproductive. I’d advise seeing if you can find the business’s contact information, and send them an email saying you saw the job posting on Indeed. Include your resume and cover letter. They may not accept if if it doesn’t come through Indeed, but, considering that it saves them $10 if you apply directly rather than through Indeed, they may not mind at all. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2021, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullshit-job-applic-requirements/952100/42 "2021-10-08T17:39:33Z")
> [@k9bfriender](#): > > They may not accept if if it doesn’t come through Indeed, but, considering that it saves them $10 if you apply directly rather than through Indeed, they may not mind at all. Thank you. I appreciate insight from people on the other side of the process. ---
**Author:** ![Fluffy\_PickleSniffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/77aa72/32.png) [@Fluffy\_PickleSniffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fluffy_PickleSniffer)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2021, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullshit-job-applic-requirements/952100/43 "2021-10-08T17:57:10Z")
Oh hell yeah. I recently quit my job of 21 years and have been applying for other jobs, too, and have come across several with those stupid questions. Have had to answer them from retail jobs as well as manufacturing, so it’s all over. ONE of the tests gave me a space to write a reply after all the stupid either/or questions and I wrote that the questions were unrelated to the work being applied for, and didn’t make sense, and that I just closed my eyes and clicked a random answer once I discovered that. THAT got me an interview with the company and my resume is now “under review”. Stupid things. ---
**Author:** ![Esprise\_Me](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprise_me/32/2947_2.png) [@Esprise\_Me](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprise_Me)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2021, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullshit-job-applic-requirements/952100/44 "2021-10-08T18:52:58Z")
I had to take a personality test once for a waitressing job. I don’t remember it being quite as dumb as this, though. I think it was more clear which answers you were supposed to choose, like whether you leave yourself extra time getting ready/get to work early vs. rushing to arrive right on time. I gave mostly the expected answers, with a couple honest ones to seem legit, and got the job. I wondered if part of what they were looking for was the simple ability to say what you were supposed to say instead of the truth, e.g. “our special tonight is fresh-caught baked halibut” instead of “we have a bunch of halibut that’s about to go bad so my boss is pushing me to sell it.” I’ve been a supervising attorney for just over a year now, and I worked in management before in restaurants. My experiences on both sides of the management divide have led me to believe that too many managers would rather do the wrong thing than nothing at all, and too many higher-ups also prefer the appearance of middle managers doing something about a problem to a rational course of wait-and-see. HR departments also tend to be enamored of elaborate hiring and firing processes that they believe will insulate them from lawsuits, even if they don’t make a lot of sense and hamper efforts to hire and retain good employees. The sad fact is that we just don’t know enough about people to have an objective way of sorting the wheat from the chaff. But many would rather keep reading horoscopes than admit that. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2021, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullshit-job-applic-requirements/952100/45 "2021-10-08T19:05:04Z")
> [@k9bfriender](#): > > I’d advise seeing if you can find the business’s contact information, and send them an email saying you saw the job posting on Indeed. Include your resume and cover letter. They may not accept if if it doesn’t come through Indeed, but, considering that it saves them $10 if you apply directly rather than through Indeed, they may not mind at all. I had a friend who was so young and enthusiastic (still a college senior) that she wrote to the CEO of a company that was her “dream marketing job”. He didn’t reply (or read it, I’d assume), but he pulled her resumé out of the envelope and inter-office mailed it to the head of the marketing department. (This was the mid-'70s, everything was snail mail) Fast-forward past job interview, graduation, getting a start date, and then two months of working there… and the marketing boss asked her how she knew the CEO. _“I don’t, why do you ask?”_ “Then why did he send us your resumé?” And she told about writing to him and enclosing her CV. Marketing Boss called another middle manager into his office so she could retell the story. She didn’t understand why they were laughing, until they told her that, because her CV had come from the CEO, everyone just assumed she was a relative of the big boss, or friend of the family. And she breezed through a very competitive process. “You are SO lucky that you’re a great worker, or we might revisit your hiring. But you’re doing an excellent job, so we’re glad it worked out this way. But do NOT tell HR. Or any new employees, they might’ve lost out to you on the previous round of hiring.” ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2021, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullshit-job-applic-requirements/952100/46 "2021-10-08T19:19:15Z")
> [@k9bfriender](#): > > Do you say: > > 1. “Shit shit shit!” > 2. “Fuck fuck fuck!” Actually, when that happened everybody was dead silent, at least for the first few seconds. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2021, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullshit-job-applic-requirements/952100/47 "2021-10-08T21:29:28Z")
> [@k9bfriender](#): > > > [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](#): > > > > I often do a bit of presenting a technical situation and asking a candidate how they would approach to understand see if the experience and training on the resume actually matches their knowledge, but such scenarios are pretty concrete and I have a good idea of what a knowledgable candidate will present even if they aren’t using the exact language I would use. > > “you have a spherical ullage tank with 12,000 psi of helium fall out of a fill fixture and bounce its way across a production floor” > > Do you say: > > 1. “Shit shit shit!” > 2. “Fuck fuck fuck!” > [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > 1. All of the above, plus words you’ve never dreamed about. I’m sorry, **shoe** , helium is lighter than air, if the tank falls & is bouncing it’s way across the floor & still has helium in it, it could be worse…& only then is your answer correct. Do _I_ get the job now??? ---
**Author:** ![GreysonCarlisle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a87d85/32.png) [@GreysonCarlisle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreysonCarlisle)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2021, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullshit-job-applic-requirements/952100/48 "2021-10-08T22:06:56Z")
Sounds like one of the mental health evaluations that employ hidden categories to score you. Each answer gives or subtracts points for one of the categories, so your first example might count either as a point toward punctuality or a point toward flexibility, depending on which you chose. No doubt they’ll require some baseline score for each category, and the trick is to outfox them by guessing what the categories are and how much each is weighted. ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2021, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullshit-job-applic-requirements/952100/49 "2021-10-08T22:46:04Z")
I don’t want to have to “trick” or “outfox” a potential employer. If they play idiotic mind games during the application process, I shudder to think of the shit they pull on employees. ---
**Author:** ![GreysonCarlisle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a87d85/32.png) [@GreysonCarlisle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreysonCarlisle)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2021, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullshit-job-applic-requirements/952100/50 "2021-10-08T22:49:27Z")
> [@Euphonious\_Polemic](#): > > I don’t want to have to “trick” or “outfox” a potential employer. If they play idiotic mind games during the application process, I shudder to think of the shit they pull on employees.  Agreed. But I’m not going to tell the OP not to take a job like that. Sometimes you have to take what you can get, even if it means working for assholes. But they may not be directly assholes. Likely, corporate has contracted that whole bit to some outside agency. ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2021, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullshit-job-applic-requirements/952100/51 "2021-10-08T22:52:44Z")
Then corporate is stupid and I don’t like their odds of success. I guess if you HAVE to suck it up and work for one of these idiot companies, that’s life. But consider it short term, because eventually they will pull more idiot shit with you as employee, or alternatively go bust because they are idiots who outsource to other idiots. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2021, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullshit-job-applic-requirements/952100/52 "2021-10-08T22:59:35Z")
Welcome to American Corporate Culture, run by MBAs who frequently have no practical experience in the industry they are working in, making decisions about the future of the company and the jobs of thousands of workers based upon forecast models built in Microsoft Excel by someone with no understanding of statistics or data trending, and always focused on avoiding liability and maximizing the quarterly profit above all other considerations. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2021, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullshit-job-applic-requirements/952100/53 "2021-10-08T23:10:11Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > For example, a question like “[T/F] Strange smells come to me at times.” is one that, historically, a lot of people with schizophrenia will answer T and a lot of people without schizophrenia will answer F. You don’t have to be schizophrenic to answer True if you’ve worked in a restaurant, hospital, sewage treatment plant or just had children or dogs. And don’t get me started on Pathology. ---
**Author:** ![keeganst94](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a6a055/32.png) [@keeganst94](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/keeganst94)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2021, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullshit-job-applic-requirements/952100/54 "2021-10-08T23:22:30Z")
Liquid helium isn’t lighter than air though. And really, if _anything_ under 12,000 PSI of pressure is described as “bouncing” the correct answer is to yell “RUN!” and then sprint as fast as you possibly can in the opposite direction, before it turns you and everybody within 40 feet into ground beef. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2021, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullshit-job-applic-requirements/952100/55 "2021-10-08T23:48:56Z")
> [@bump](#): > > I remember applying for a retail job when I was in graduate school, and I was surprised at the half-assed psychological exam they gave me. Half the questions seemed to be anti-theft and personal integrity type questions, and the other half were this sort of question where they aren’t mutually exclusive, or both are important. I mean, asking someone whether they agree _more_ with “I’m open to suggestions or ways to better myself” or “I make sure to complete my work obligations” isn’t something that can’t be a strong “Yes” to both. > > That said, I’ve only answered one questionnaire like this for professional positions, and it was some kind of psychological battery that Aetna made their interviewees take. It wasn’t about theft, it was more about how much of a self-starter you were, how deferential to authority, how likely you were to make decisions yourself vs. kick them up the hierarchy, and so on. I tend to be a pretty self-sufficient and independent employee, and view a big part of my job as taking care of business so that my boss doesn’t have to, so naturally I failed Aetna’s test. The funny thing is that the guy (a former supervisor) who had asked me to apply for it was incensed. Not at me, but at the test- I found out later that he ended up going down his list of people he wanted to hire- all of us applied, and all of us failed, because we were too independent, etc… Which frustrated/pissed him off mightily, as that’s WHY he wanted to hire us in the first place. > > Personally, I think that stupid canned tests like this combined with the digital weedout HR software make it harder and harder to get hired; you have to have _just_ the right buzzwords, and you have to answer the questions just so, or you get kicked out of consideration. A lot of the time those things get hung up on just exactly WHAT software you know, or exactly how much experience you have, when in fact the best candidates may have slightly different experience or duration, but they’ll get culled out. [conspiracy theorist]Maybe they already have the person they want to give the position to, so they either give him a crib sheet or waive the test altogether, so the process can look like it ticked all the “fairness in hiring standards” boxes.[/conspiracy theorist] ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2021, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullshit-job-applic-requirements/952100/56 "2021-10-09T00:05:29Z")
> [@keeganst94](#): > > Liquid helium isn’t lighter than air though. And really, if _anything_ under 12,000 PSI of pressure is described as “bouncing” the correct answer is to yell “RUN!” and then sprint as fast as you possibly can in the opposite direction, before it turns you and everybody within 40 feet into ground beef. This wasn’t liquid (cryogenic) helium, just highly pressurized gas. At 12,000 psi, the helium inside would have a density of about 0.133 g/cc. It is still way heavier that ambient air (~0.0012 g/cc) so it definitely wasn’t floating around. Fortunately, such tanks have significant margin and the tension from the internal pressure prevents it from getting into any kind of buckling failure, but still unnerving. Had it ruptured there would be an enormous amount of stored energy that would be released and would doubtless create shrapnel. As it was, they had to clear the lab and bring in a hazard team to examine it for damage before they could even handle it to move it. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chockfullofheadygoodness/32/511_2.png) [@ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2021, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullshit-job-applic-requirements/952100/57 "2021-10-09T00:09:25Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > [conspiracy theorist]Maybe they already have the person they want to give the position to, so they either give him a crib sheet or waive the test altogether, so the process can look like it ticked all the “fairness in hiring standards” boxes.[/conspiracy theorist] Not tin-foil hat territory at all. My organization pulls that all the time with internal moves. Corporate policy requires all requisitions for new positions to be made available to any internal or external candidate with a certain minimum waiting period to collect applications. So the person opening the req includes such detailed and specific job requirements that only one person on earth, the person they already want to put in the new position, meets all the qualifications. Anybody else who applies is wasting their time. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2021, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullshit-job-applic-requirements/952100/58 "2021-10-09T02:08:30Z")
> [@ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness](#): > > Not tin-foil hat territory at all. My organization pulls that all the time with internal moves. Same with me, though in my case I belong to a union so it’s all about the agency trying to appease them. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2021, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullshit-job-applic-requirements/952100/59 "2021-10-09T03:37:30Z")
I once took a test to qualify for a customer service phone job with the city Water Dept. The test was designed for phone salespeople trying to sell a product, not for customer service people trying to help residents with their service or bill. None of the questions were pertinent; they were all about up-selling a customer (there’s nothing to up-sell at the Water Dept). ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2021, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullshit-job-applic-requirements/952100/60 "2021-10-09T04:04:44Z")
> [@keeganst94](#): > > Liquid helium isn’t lighter than air though. And really, if _anything_ under 12,000 PSI of pressure is described as “bouncing” the correct answer is to yell “RUN!” and then sprint as fast as you possibly can in the opposite direction, before it turns you and everybody within 40 feet into ground beef.   Or, as John Clark writes, > [@John Clark as quoted by Derek Lowe](#): > > _For dealing with this situation, I have always recommended a good pair of running shoes._ [Sand Won’t Save You This Time by Derek Lowe](https://www.science.org/content/blog-post/sand-won-t-save-you-time) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullshit-job-applic-requirements/952100.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullshit-job-applic-requirements/952100.md?page=4)