# Bullshit, Rico.
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullshit-rico/371604
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [September 6, 2006, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullshit-rico/371604 "2006-09-06T06:22:06Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Eleusis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eleusis)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2006, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullshit-rico/371604/1 "2006-09-06T06:22:06Z")
You close a [legitimate thead](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=7749328#post7749328) with a legitimate question, probably because you have a tiny little dick.
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### Author:  [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2006, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullshit-rico/371604/2 "2006-09-06T06:38:57Z")
Dammitt, you peeked!
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### Author:  [@Eleusis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eleusis)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2006, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullshit-rico/371604/3 "2006-09-06T06:41:33Z")
Heh, nice one.
But seriously, a lot of the classic SDMB threads have come from GQ.
Gotcher 1920’s style “Death Ray”, hangin’ low.
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### Author:  [@parrot\_recipes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/parrot_recipes)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2006, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullshit-rico/371604/4 "2006-09-06T06:42:34Z")
ooookay
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### Author:  [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2006, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullshit-rico/371604/5 "2006-09-06T06:52:44Z")
I was too late to that thread, but anecdote time.
One of my housemates a couple of years back was dating around, doing the scene, trying to find Mr Right, and he had like 2 dates with this really nice guy, but it didn’t work out. On I think the first date (he was compelled to share this in lots of gory detail the next morning) they went back to the fellow’s place and started stripping down and the guy basically warned him of a surprise. My pal related to me, quite sensitively, “Oh my GOD, he was built literally like a COKE CAN.” Apparently this was more or less a deal breaker for most of the guy’s potential paramours because there was just nothing reasonable that could be done with the thing.
It can happen.
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### Author:  [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2006, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullshit-rico/371604/6 "2006-09-06T10:34:04Z")
along the same lines, I know a lady that called one of her boyfriends Bud, cause he was built like a Budweiser can. :eek: She managed to cope, and was quite happy the physical side of their relationship. 😃
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### Author:  [@Sevastopol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sevastopol)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2006, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullshit-rico/371604/7 "2006-09-06T12:52:20Z")
I’ll believe one of these threads is legitimate when the OP has no email or message service enabled.
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### Author:  [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2006, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullshit-rico/371604/8 "2006-09-06T13:43:33Z")
No the bullshit was the OP. It was properly closed.
Assuming the OP actually has a ginormous penis (which IMO is a probably not a very safe bet) only the most credulous would think that Mr. Huge dick is seriously contemplating whacking off a part of his tallywhacker. It’s bragging or BS, but it’'s not a serious plea for help.
There are some rare men who have huge penises, but assuming someone has better than room temperature IQ no man would ever consider surgery because it’s “too big”. In the range of vaginal sizes and penis sizes out there there is enough overlap that eventually, using care, the largest man can usually be accommodated unless the women is extra small. John Holmes had relatively little difficultly achieving vaginal intercourse, and his partners didn’t look like they were dying when it was happening.
Some women find huge phallus’s very erotic and are willing to “go the extra mile” and some don’t. You need to date.
Years ago (mid 80’s IIRC) I read an interesting article in the Village Voice about a newsletter called (no joke) “The Hung Jury” for huge dicked men and the women who desired to meet them. There is no shortage of “size queens” out there, and having a larger than normal wanger simply means you have to date more.
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### Author:  [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2006, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullshit-rico/371604/9 "2006-09-06T13:48:09Z")
Ethilrist said it - don’t mess with your penis! (I mean, more than necessary). And of course it was BS - why would you ever think to bring a knife anywhere near your penis if you didn’t have to.
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### Author:  [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2006, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullshit-rico/371604/10 "2006-09-06T13:54:36Z")
I think **Rico** made the right call. It’s been the deal here for a long time that they don’t want people getting medical advice on this board. If the OP wants to know the ramifications of surgery, he should ask a doctor.
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### Author:  [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2006, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullshit-rico/371604/11 "2006-09-06T14:07:35Z")
So a woman’s traveling through the jungle when she happens upon a tribe. The chief of the tribe takes one look at her and instantly falls head over spear in love.
He must marry her. He knows it. So he cooks her a fabulous feast, gets down on one elbow (as is the custom within this particular tribe) and asks her to marry him.
The woman will have nothing to do with this. She doesn’t want to get married to him at all.
“Please please. Anything. I do anything.”
“Anything?”
“Anything. Everything. I not do, we not marry!”
“I have three requirements of all my men. You must meet all three.”
“Of course, of course!”
“First, my man must treat me in style. He has to cover me head to toe in jewelry.”
“I do, I do!” he says and claps his hands and servants come out with diamonds and rubies and emeralds and jade in all shapes and sizes.
“Uh…well, second, I must live in only the finest accomodations. I want a house over 200 acres with 16 bedrooms, an indoor pool, and a raquetball court.”
Well these were good times for the tribe (thanks in part to the jewel mine nearby), so the chief instantly sprang to his feet and said “I build, I build!”
The woman was becoming increasingly desperate. How to get out of this? “OK, my man must be able to satisfy me completely. I want a man with a 12 inch penis.”
A sad face befell the chief, and he cupped his face in his hands. After weeping in his native language for a few minutes, the chief slowly lifted his head and said, “Ok, ok, I cut, I cut!”
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### Author:  [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2006, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullshit-rico/371604/12 "2006-09-06T14:09:19Z")
Maybe his girlfriend should just get a vagina enlargement!
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### Author:  [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2006, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullshit-rico/371604/13 "2006-09-06T14:45:48Z")
> [@Eleusis](#):
>
> But seriously, a lot of the classic SDMB threads have come from GQ.
>
> Gotcher 1920’s style “Death Ray”, hangin’ low.
Just what we need around here, another idiotic catch phrase.
Bottom line: Medical advice threads are not allowed in GQ. Is this so difficult to understand?
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### Author:  [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2006, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullshit-rico/371604/14 "2006-09-06T16:24:16Z")
> [@astro](#):
>
> only the most credulous would think that Mr. Huge dick is seriously contemplating whacking off a part of his tallywhacker.
Maybe he’s going to replace it with a DORRANCE #5 STAINLESS STEEL COCK.
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### Author:  [@RumMunkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RumMunkey)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2006, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullshit-rico/371604/15 "2006-09-06T18:52:44Z")
Oohhh… [the plot thickens](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=387033)!
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### Author:  [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2006, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullshit-rico/371604/16 "2006-09-06T19:28:28Z")
[Maybe it was something he ate?](http://antiquark.com/2005/03/geoduck-clams.html)
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### Author:  [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2006, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullshit-rico/371604/17 "2006-09-06T19:38:32Z")
Hard to tell. There was a part of me seriously wondering if **digglebop** was my ex, who did, indeed, have a penis large enough that I could barely handle it, and I said so on many occasions. Sex was painful and hurt-y, and not something I looked forward to all the time, to be honest.
However, my ex was an angry man who blamed most of his life’s problems on the fact that he was circumsized, so considering getting _more_ chopped off deems it unlikely that it could be him. :dubious:
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### Author:  [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2006, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullshit-rico/371604/18 "2006-09-06T20:15:01Z")
> [@Anastasaeon](#):
>
> However, my ex was an angry man who blamed most of his life’s problems on the fact that he was circumsized, so considering getting _more_ chopped off deems it unlikely that it could be him. :dubious:
I lost my foreskin… and now my job!!
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### Author:  [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2006, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullshit-rico/371604/19 "2006-09-06T20:17:24Z")
> [@astro](#):
>
> I lost my foreskin… and now my job!!
This made me laugh harder than it had any right to. Carry on.
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### Author:  [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)
#### Post date: [September 6, 2006, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullshit-rico/371604/20 "2006-09-06T23:55:11Z")
> [@RumMunkey](#):
>
> Oohhh… [the plot thickens](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=387033)!
…and lengthens.
[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullshit-rico/371604.md?page=2)