# Bullying? Or over-reaction? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 3, 2012, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullying-or-over-reaction/636635 "2012-10-03T23:54:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2012, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullying-or-over-reaction/636635/21 "2012-10-04T18:10:25Z")
Was the guy a bully? No. Was he being clueless? Yes. What should she have done? Ignored it. Although it was her husband who posted the email on Facebook. The guy had the satisfaction of getting a lot of publicity and apparently hasn’t learned much from it. [http://www.news8000.com/news/VIDEO-Kenneth-W-Krause-responds/-/326/16832838/-/8kc77oz/-/index.html](http://www.news8000.com/news/VIDEO-Kenneth-W-Krause-responds/-/326/16832838/-/8kc77oz/-/index.html) Warning: Video is preceded by a 15 second commercial. ---
**Author:** ![LurkerInNJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ed655f/32.png) [@LurkerInNJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkerInNJ)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2012, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullying-or-over-reaction/636635/22 "2012-10-04T18:18:40Z")
> [@bldysabba](#): > > Or she could lose the weight? If she wanted to lose weight, she probably would have done it by now. She looks to be in her 40’s. ---
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2012, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullying-or-over-reaction/636635/23 "2012-10-04T18:33:43Z")
The newscaster is the bully. She is using her popularity and her soapbox to beat down someone who dared to be disrespectful toward her - over and over and over and over - way out of proportion. Yeah, there’s a bully here and she’s kind of overweight. ---
**Author:** ![Brynda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2012, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullying-or-over-reaction/636635/24 "2012-10-04T18:34:24Z")
> [@LurkerInNJ](#): > > If she wanted to lose weight, she probably would have done it by now. She looks to be in her 40’s. Are you unfamiliar with the idea that sometimes people can’t or don’t do things they want to do, right? Or that, good heavens, they do things after their 40s? ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2012, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullying-or-over-reaction/636635/25 "2012-10-04T18:51:43Z")
But she did ignore it. Her husband put it out on facebook where loads of people got upset and it was at that point that she decided to address it on-air. It was not the most elegant speech I’ve ever heard, but she attempted to turn something that does hurt, no matter the brave face that one puts on, into an opportunity to voice support for people who are made to feel bad about themselves. If you don’t want your stupid letters to be made fun of on-air, don’t write stupid letters to on-air personalities. ---
**Author:** ![Skara\_Brae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Skara\_Brae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skara_Brae)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2012, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullying-or-over-reaction/636635/26 "2012-10-04T18:56:38Z")
How was she a bully? She did not name the individual who sent the letter. She just responded to it. He chose to come forward later. ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2012, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullying-or-over-reaction/636635/27 "2012-10-04T19:32:29Z")
The first thing I thought when I saw the video yesterday was that she wasn’t being bullied. The guy’s an ass… and I doubt he would send a letter if she were a he. ---
**Author:** ![Kaio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c68b51/32.png) [@Kaio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaio)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2012, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullying-or-over-reaction/636635/28 "2012-10-04T19:57:49Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > I see a very defensive angry news anchor, but I feel like she’s replying to other emails, or taunts from her schoolyard days, or her own self-hating inner voice, because I don’t see what in that email is worth this level of simmering rage in return. > > Sure, he called her obese. Guess what: she is. So am I. Despite the headlines, she wasn’t called “fat”. She wasn’t called stupid or ugly or gross or lazy or disgusting or any one of the common epithets often slung at obese women without justification. Have we really bought into the fat shaming in this culture to such an extent that even mentioning the mathematically derived medical fact that someone is obese is now “bullying?” Oh god thank you. There was so much “she schooled HIM! Yeah!” on Facebook the last couple days that I thought I was the only one who thought her response was mind-bogglingly out of proportion. (And I say this as someone who _was_ bullied – often about my weight, but really they picked on anything and everything, regardless whether it was true.) I mean, the guy was factually correct. Whether it was **nice** to say I’ll leave as an exercise for the reader, but it makes me somewhat sad that we’re getting pulled into a culture where we can’t even talk openly about what is a real problem. (How do we work towards solutions if we’re not even “allowed” to discuss the problem?) I’d say a response was warranted to the extent that she could point out how unlikely it was that the guy would have sent a similar email to a male news anchor. I think _that_ is a point worth addressing. The rest… well, I didn’t see where he was being particularly derogatory, either. He said she had an opportunity to be a role model, which is also true. It’s her right to say no if she doesn’t want to be that kind of role model, but I don’t think it’s inherently offensive to point it out. ---
**Author:** ![gwendee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/35a633/32.png) [@gwendee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gwendee)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2012, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullying-or-over-reaction/636635/29 "2012-10-04T19:58:46Z")
One thing I started to say in my first response and then edited out was that I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that he’s a personal trainer or Weight Watchers group leader. It was just a feeling I got from his message. His response reinforces that guess for me. He may have been overweight at one time himself. The formerly fat are every bit as strident about their brand of reform as former smokers. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2012, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullying-or-over-reaction/636635/30 "2012-10-04T20:03:18Z")
> [@Kaio](#): > > Oh god thank you. There was so much “she schooled HIM! Yeah!” on Facebook the last couple days that I thought I was the only one who thought her response was mind-bogglingly out of proportion. (And I say this as someone who _was_ bullied – often about my weight, but really they picked on anything and everything, regardless whether it was true.) I mean, the guy was factually correct. Whether it was **nice** to say I’ll leave as an exercise for the reader, but it makes me somewhat sad that we’re getting pulled into a culture where we can’t even talk openly about what is a real problem. (How do we work towards solutions if we’re not even “allowed” to discuss the problem?) What problem? The problem of fat news anchors luring our precious children into obesity? Yeah, I’m not really concerned about that problem. You are more than welcome to talk about the obesity epidemic in America and people are more than welcome to share their experiences as fat people, formerly fat people, and skinny people. What you are not allowed to do is pick one person to deride as a cause of the problem and I’m surprised that this has to be pointed out. ---
**Author:** ![Kaio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c68b51/32.png) [@Kaio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaio)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2012, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullying-or-over-reaction/636635/31 "2012-10-04T20:12:43Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > What problem? The problem of fat news anchors luring our precious children into obesity? Yeah, I’m not really concerned about that problem. You are more than welcome to talk about the obesity epidemic in America and people are more than welcome to share their experiences as fat people, formerly fat people, and skinny people. What you are not allowed to do is pick one person to deride as a cause of the problem and I’m surprised that this has to be pointed out. Well, point out where he derided her. He said she had an opportunity to be a role model (as I’ve already said). I don’t see how this is untrue. If she doesn’t want that role, she can just ignore him, but I don’t see how saying it is inherently offensive. The problem is that the number of people in the US who are medically obese is not only huge, but increasing, especially among children. The problem is that obesity causes heath problems, some of which can be permanent if not reversed quickly enough. I’m surprised that _this_ has to be pointed out. Honestly, I thought the email was about as respectful as you can get. There was no “fatty fatty” language in it at all. He stuck to facts. ---
**Author:** ![SmellMyWort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SmellMyWort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmellMyWort)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2012, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullying-or-over-reaction/636635/32 "2012-10-04T20:29:25Z")
> [@Hippy\_Hollow](#): > > I wouldn’t categorize a email from a busybody asshole as bullying. The guy who sent the email is a boor and really crossed a line by sending an unsolicited message regarding the anchor’s appearance, which has nothing to do with her ability to, you know, read the news. Who the fuck asked for his opinion? > > Now if he had sent several messages that might constitute behavior deserving of the label. But no, not bullying. I have no problem with the public shaming and labeling his behavior as rude and creepy. But I think this really pales in comparison to bullying that kids experience, or even adults in the workplace. This pretty much sums up my feelings about it. > [@shiftless](#): > > The newscaster is the bully. She is using her popularity and her soapbox to beat down someone who dared to be disrespectful toward her - over and over and over and over - way out of proportion. Yeah, there’s a bully here and she’s kind of overweight. Assholes deserve to be publicly shamed. Over and over? She made one statement on TV, it’s not like she started a weekly segment about it. It’s already pretty much yesterday’s news. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2012, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullying-or-over-reaction/636635/33 "2012-10-04T20:34:30Z")
> [@Kaio](#): > > Honestly, I thought the email was about as respectful as you can get. There was no “fatty fatty” language in it at all. He stuck to facts. The letter in and of itself is rude. It’s not his place to determine what her weight should be, her weight is not relevant to her qualifications as a newscaster and one does not need to use rude language to be disrespectful. ---
**Author:** ![SmellMyWort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SmellMyWort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmellMyWort)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2012, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullying-or-over-reaction/636635/34 "2012-10-04T20:35:39Z")
> [@gwendee](#): > > One thing I started to say in my first response and then edited out was that I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that he’s a personal trainer or Weight Watchers group leader. It was just a feeling I got from his message. His response reinforces that guess for me. He may have been overweight at one time himself. The formerly fat are every bit as strident about their brand of reform as former smokers. Actually he’s a personal injury lawyer, which for some reason doesn’t surprise me. [Link](http://blogs.citypages.com/blotter/2012/10/kenneth_krause_personal_injury_lawyer_wrote_letter_to_jennifer_livingston_calling_her_obese_photo.php) ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2012, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullying-or-over-reaction/636635/35 "2012-10-04T20:36:04Z")
> [@Kaio](#): > > The problem is that the number of people in the US who are medically obese is not only huge, but increasing, especially among children. The problem is that obesity causes heath problems, some of which can be permanent if not reversed quickly enough. I’m surprised that _this_ has to be pointed out. It doesn’t. What you haven’t done is established how this is relevant to a female newscaster in Wisconsin. If she comes into work next week a size 6, does obesity vanish? That would be pretty nifty. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2012, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullying-or-over-reaction/636635/36 "2012-10-04T21:18:30Z")
Why should she lose weight? If its OK for her, what do I care? But she is gonna have to toughen up a little and let a jeer from asshole slide. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2012, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullying-or-over-reaction/636635/37 "2012-10-04T21:26:35Z")
She seemed tough enough to me. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Feldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lord_feldon/32/341_2.png) [@Lord\_Feldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Feldon)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2012, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullying-or-over-reaction/636635/38 "2012-10-04T22:03:49Z")
> [@Kaio](#): > > Honestly, I thought the email was about as respectful as you can get. There was no “fatty fatty” language in it at all. He stuck to facts. How is it respectful or factual to tell someone that people who look like them shouldn’t put themselves in view of the public? Yes, the guy has a command of the English language. That makes it _more_ hurtful, not less, because it draws the reader in by appearing to be reasoned and considered. It’s actually a lot easier to toss “U R fat LOL” into the trash without a second thought. ---
**Author:** ![Kaio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c68b51/32.png) [@Kaio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaio)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2012, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullying-or-over-reaction/636635/39 "2012-10-04T22:58:43Z")
Oy. > [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > The letter in and of itself is rude. It’s not his place to determine what her weight should be, her weight is not relevant to her qualifications as a newscaster and one does not need to use rude language to be disrespectful. Which was why I said: > [@Kaio](#): > > Whether it was **nice** to say I’ll leave as an exercise for the reader, and… > [@](#): > > I’d say a response was warranted to the extent that she could point out how unlikely it was that the guy would have sent a similar email to a male news anchor. I think _that_ is a point worth addressing. > [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > It doesn’t. What you haven’t done is established how this is relevant to a female newscaster in Wisconsin. If she comes into work next week a size 6, does obesity vanish? That would be pretty nifty. Oh good lord. How many times do I have to type “role model” before you see it? > [@Lord\_Feldon](#): > > How is it respectful or factual to tell someone that people who look like them shouldn’t put themselves in view of the public? Point out where he said that? Also: “Oh good lord. How many times do I have to type ‘role model’ before you see it?” You both can read my previous posts to see where I said she’s not obligated to be a role model, too. Pointing out she has the opportunity to be one (whether she chooses to do so or not) is not inherently disrespectful. Pointing out facts is not inherently disrespectful. Was he nice? Or misguided? I doubt it was reasonable for the guy to assume he’d get a positive response for his pointing it out, given the sensitive nature of the subject, but a proportionate reaction on her part would have been to hit the delete key and forget about it, not to call him a bully on the evening news. She over-reacted. And I’ll reiterate what I was agreeing with: > [@WhyNot](#): > > … I feel like she’s replying to other emails, or taunts from her schoolyard days, or her own self-hating inner voice, because I don’t see what in that email is worth this level of simmering rage in return. > > Sure, he called her obese. Guess what: she is. So am I. Despite the headlines, she wasn’t called “fat”. She wasn’t called stupid or ugly or gross or lazy or disgusting or any one of the common epithets often slung at obese women without justification. Have we really bought into the fat shaming in this culture to such an extent that even mentioning the mathematically derived medical fact that someone is obese is now “bullying?” ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Feldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lord_feldon/32/341_2.png) [@Lord\_Feldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Feldon)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2012, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullying-or-over-reaction/636635/40 "2012-10-04T23:15:07Z")
I guess that since he’s a narcissistic asshole and probably a misogynist too, he probably would be genuinely surprised that the television would present a woman he doesn’t find to meet his beauty standards for anything other than mocking and derision. I accept his judgment of his emotional reaction as factual. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullying-or-over-reaction/636635.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullying-or-over-reaction/636635.md?page=3)