# Bullying. \[should parents be held accountable?\] **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [March 7, 2019, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullying-should-parents-be-held-accountable/830712 "2019-03-07T17:58:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2019, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullying-should-parents-be-held-accountable/830712/21 "2019-03-07T20:26:44Z")
> [@Slash1972](#): > > Really? You can find my other posts with regards to cyber bullying to see that I am sincere in my belief. In my opinion, there is no such thing as cyber bullying. It’s the same stance I hold in any thread about bullying. If there was such a thing as cyber bullying, and it was illegal, then there are numerous posters in the Pit who would be breaking the law. So sending people death threats, threats to harm, spamming their social media accounts, etc – that’s not cyber bullying? What then would you call it? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2019, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullying-should-parents-be-held-accountable/830712/22 "2019-03-07T20:37:02Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > To answer the OP. No, I do not think parents should be fined or otherwise punished. The student should definitely be punished for bullying. Parents should be notified and taken to task. I’ve seen a lot of bullying and who ever the kid is or how they are raised it’s upsetting. No kid should have to endure that at school or online. I really don’t think you can stop it completely. Kids will just get more sneaky. But authorities and school admin. should nip it where they can. IMO Not much schools can and/or will do when it comes to cyber-bullying. They have a tendency(due to time/money constraints) to either ignore the problem or kick the problem out of school and wash their hands of it. ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2019, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullying-should-parents-be-held-accountable/830712/23 "2019-03-07T20:37:16Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > So sending people death threats, threats to harm, spamming their social media accounts, etc – that’s not cyber bullying? > > What then would you call it? :dubious: You cannot spam social media accounts if you are blocked from posting there. Sending death threats how? Email? Don’t read email from that person. Text? Block that person. ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2019, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullying-should-parents-be-held-accountable/830712/24 "2019-03-07T20:39:15Z")
> [@Bone](#): > > There are[similar laws](https://leginfo.legislature.ca.gov/faces/codes_displaySection.xhtml?lawCode=PEN§ionNum=653.2) that aren’t directed at student populations, but don’t use the exact term “bullying”. The things mentioned in that law are things that regularly go on in the Pit. Are those posters breaking the law? ---
**Author:** ![AlsoNamedBort](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alsonamedbort/32/3213_2.png) [@AlsoNamedBort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AlsoNamedBort)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2019, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullying-should-parents-be-held-accountable/830712/25 "2019-03-07T20:40:02Z")
> [@Slash1972](#): > > You cannot spam social media accounts if you are blocked from posting there. > > Sending death threats how? Email? Don’t read email from that person. Text? Block that person. You’re talking about ways to deal with bullying. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. ---
**Author:** ![UltraVires](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ecccb3/32.png) [@UltraVires](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UltraVires)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2019, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullying-should-parents-be-held-accountable/830712/26 "2019-03-07T20:43:59Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > So sending people death threats, threats to harm, spamming their social media accounts, etc – that’s not cyber bullying? > > What then would you call it? :dubious: Threats are already covered under existing laws. I worry that if “bullying” becomes a crime, we start to get into free speech issues. Where is the line between me expressing a very mean opinion about someone (a constitutional right) and bullying? If I say it more than once? If it is especially mean? I’m no fan of bullies, but I think there is a slope here that is slippery when wet. ---
**Author:** ![Bone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bone/32/407_2.png) [@Bone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bone)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2019, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullying-should-parents-be-held-accountable/830712/27 "2019-03-07T20:45:18Z")
> [@Slash1972](#): > > The things mentioned in that law are things that regularly go on in the Pit. Are those posters breaking the law? I doubt it. But the law exists and therefore your assertion is false. ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2019, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullying-should-parents-be-held-accountable/830712/28 "2019-03-07T20:47:46Z")
> [@Bone](#): > > I doubt it. But the law exists and therefore your assertion is false. Not so, since I did not assert there was no law covering cyber bullying. ---
**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2019, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullying-should-parents-be-held-accountable/830712/29 "2019-03-07T21:05:44Z")
> [@Slash1972](#): > > Not so, since I did not assert there was no law covering cyber bullying. So you think there’s a law against something that doesn’t exist? Like I said dude, you’re way out there. ---
**Author:** ![nelliebly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nelliebly/32/5422_2.png) [@nelliebly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nelliebly)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2019, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullying-should-parents-be-held-accountable/830712/30 "2019-03-07T21:23:28Z")
> [@Slash1972](#): > > The things mentioned in that law are things that regularly go on in the Pit. Are those posters breaking the law? The OP question implies he’s referring to minors bullying. (For the record, I’m firmly opposed to parents of those posting in The Pit facing consequences.) Furthermore, the Pit posts aren’t public, so they couldn’t create the level of damage bullying on social media does even if those subject to the posts in the Pit _weren’t_ anonymous. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2019, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullying-should-parents-be-held-accountable/830712/31 "2019-03-07T21:36:05Z")
Parents should have some responsibility for the actions of their children. If kids are truly guilty of committing a crime that is on the books in some sort of jurisdiction, we have juvenile courts to address those types of behaviors, which may or not include a fine that would be the responsibility of the parents. Similarly, parents of kids that are being bullied, should be involved enough in their kids lives so that their kids come to them and the parents should counsel their kids on how to appropriately emotionally react to such bullying techniques. The parents of kids that commit suicide and had no idea what was going on with their kids, could have been better parents throughout their lives to potentially prevent such feelings in their kids. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2019, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullying-should-parents-be-held-accountable/830712/32 "2019-03-07T21:37:15Z")
> [@AHunter3](#): > > Students should be allowed to file charges against other students and have the case heard by a jury of their peers (other students). That would be far more effective than adult intervention. I disagree. You’re assuming that students (high school I assume) have the capacity for rational thought, and the motivation to see justice done above and beyond what makes them popular / what’s cool. I don’t share your faith. I can see situations where the jock bully gets off light because he’s popular and handsome, or where the bully is neither popular, athletic or handsome, but the student jury decides that the bully-ee is a spaz and deserves it. I think that the proper course of action would be to have the school handle the discipline, but in conjunction with the parents. If the parents are dismissive or contemptuous, or the kid continues in the bullying despite the district’s best efforts, then I think it’s reasonable for a school district to pursue civil action against the parents- lost class time, disruption of class, etc… All they’d have to do is assign dollar values to it, and once the bully parents get drug into court to contest the charges, it’s going to cost them money, and they’ll snap their kid in line real fast. Or if they’re really recalcitrant assholes, drag that through the entire trial process, under the assumption that the district has in-house counsel, and isn’t footing the bill like the parents would be. Most parents won’t want to spend that level of time and effort to contest a bullying suit. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2019, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullying-should-parents-be-held-accountable/830712/33 "2019-03-07T21:51:06Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Not much schools can and/or will do when it comes to cyber-bullying. They have a tendency(due to time/money constraints) to either ignore the problem or kick the problem out of school and wash their hands of it. YMMV, but in the lil’wrekkers highschool.it was taken very seriously. They very much monitored computer use at school. When they allowed for cell phones to be in school on students, there were many rules that had to be followed. One was, if you were suspected or found out to be bullying through your phone on school property or during school hours your phone could be confiscated and searched. Appropriate punishment was then dished out. They were Nazis about it. ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2019, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullying-should-parents-be-held-accountable/830712/34 "2019-03-07T23:13:49Z")
> [@Jamiedarke](#): > > Bullying in school and more especially online is totally vile. > > Should the parents of kids guilty of bullying have some sort of a charge laid against them by the police? No. I think that the responsibility of parents in their kids’ behavior tends to be widely exaggerated. I’m disabused if this notion. Too many examples of families whose children have strikingly different behavior. Or of serious troublemakers in an otherwise perfectly fine family. In any case, even assuming poor parentship, they can’t control every of their children actions, and certainly shouldn’t be held criminally responsible for them. Finally, I’m not sure why you’re singling out bullying. That’s far from the worst thing a kid can do. Why not murder, for instance? ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2019, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullying-should-parents-be-held-accountable/830712/35 "2019-03-08T00:18:48Z")
> [@AHunter3](#): > > Students should be allowed to file charges against other students and have the case heard by a jury of their peers (other students). That would be far more effective than adult intervention. Really? On what planet would THAT be a good idea? Who would serve on such a jury? How would they be chosen? How could impartiality be guaranteed? It’s only the parents’ fault if the parents were complicit in some way - for instance, taking their child to a place where they know the bullied child will be and their own child otherwise would not have been there, or participating in theft or vandalism. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2019, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullying-should-parents-be-held-accountable/830712/36 "2019-03-08T00:25:40Z")
> [@AHunter3](#): > > Students should be allowed to file charges against other students and have the case heard by a jury of their peers (other students). That would be far more effective than adult intervention. Uh, _ **what** _?? 1. Students of that age often aren’t mature enough to render juror decisions. 2. Do you know how kids that age often make decisions? They may rule against So-and-So just because “she is a fatty,” or some guy “acts gay,” etc. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2019, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullying-should-parents-be-held-accountable/830712/37 "2019-03-08T02:46:54Z")
I was thinking fourth grade actually, but certainly I would do it with junior high or high school students as well. Listen, if anyone ought to have an unflattering opinion of what children that age are like, it’s me. But yeah I think kids have a decent sense of fairness; they can be spectacularly mean but that’s true of any group that is relatively powerless; you get a lot of horizontal aggression and a lot of frustration fueling it. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2019, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullying-should-parents-be-held-accountable/830712/38 "2019-03-08T02:56:09Z")
> [@AHunter3](#): > > I was thinking fourth grade actually, but certainly I would do it with junior high or high school students as well. > > Listen, if anyone ought to have an unflattering opinion of what children that age are like, it’s me. But yeah I think kids have a decent sense of fairness; they can be spectacularly mean but that’s true of any group that is relatively powerless; you get a lot of horizontal aggression and a lot of frustration fueling it. Yeah, get a bunch of kids to decide the fate of the class outcast! THAT’D be a really great idea. Your heart is in the right place, **Ahunter** , but this is a really, really bad idea. Kids would just use it as an excuse to gang up on the less popular. No thanks. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2019, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullying-should-parents-be-held-accountable/830712/39 "2019-03-08T03:06:53Z")
> [@AHunter3](#): > > But yeah I think kids have a decent sense of fairness; Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. My wife is a middle school teacher, and the stories she tells would disabuse you of that notion. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2019, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullying-should-parents-be-held-accountable/830712/40 "2019-03-08T03:11:19Z")
Oh middle school kids are the worst. _Especially_ the girls. They could give Trump a run for his money. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullying-should-parents-be-held-accountable/830712.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bullying-should-parents-be-held-accountable/830712.md?page=3)