# Burger King and the possible dissolution of my otherwise happy marriage **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 11, 2002, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burger-king-and-the-possible-dissolution-of-my-otherwise-happy-marriage/103058 "2002-04-11T17:20:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Encinitas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Encinitas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Encinitas)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2002, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burger-king-and-the-possible-dissolution-of-my-otherwise-happy-marriage/103058/41 "2002-04-12T21:44:26Z")
I loved this thread so much I added everyone who posted to my Buddy List ™! _poof_:eek: ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2002, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burger-king-and-the-possible-dissolution-of-my-otherwise-happy-marriage/103058/42 "2002-04-13T04:46:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by hillbilly queen \* > \*\*One helping of taters will get me a whole week of dirty looks from my hubby. > > Hey **Tuckerfan** since you’re in the same little corner of hillbilly hell that I’m in. I may take you up on your offer. \*\* Drop by any time. I’m in the trailer park behind Wal-Mart. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2002, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burger-king-and-the-possible-dissolution-of-my-otherwise-happy-marriage/103058/43 "2002-04-13T04:59:58Z")
Well **Cranky** you.ve got a dog. Blame him. ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2002, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burger-king-and-the-possible-dissolution-of-my-otherwise-happy-marriage/103058/44 "2002-04-13T05:32:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by stofsky \* > **…the ol’ jet propulsion unit was spouting eye-watering _sulfurous poots_…** Is this thread replete with band names, or what? (Anyone besides me now seeing **Tuckerfan’s** sig in a new light?) ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2002, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burger-king-and-the-possible-dissolution-of-my-otherwise-happy-marriage/103058/45 "2002-04-15T17:47:46Z")
Just to add… I think Olestra might be the culprit here. I’m pretty sure that on Friday I cut my first synthetic fart. ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2002, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burger-king-and-the-possible-dissolution-of-my-otherwise-happy-marriage/103058/46 "2002-04-15T18:09:31Z")
I think some people need butt plugs…or would they become deadly anal launched projectiles? band name? ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2002, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burger-king-and-the-possible-dissolution-of-my-otherwise-happy-marriage/103058/47 "2002-04-15T18:28:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by don’t ask \* > \*\*Well **Cranky** you.ve got a dog. Blame him. \*\* Normally I would, but these have such a distinct onion-ring bouquet about them, it’s a dead giveaway what they are the result of. I think I’d have a hard time convincing my husband that the basset hound drove himself to Burger King, made himself understood at the drive through, and used his massive paws to open the wallet to fork over the $$. I mean, the basset doesn’t get an allowance or anything. My cat…now there is an animal wily enough to pull all that off. The dog, no. ---
**Author:** ![Lux\_Fiat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bc79bd/32.png) [@Lux\_Fiat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lux_Fiat)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2002, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burger-king-and-the-possible-dissolution-of-my-otherwise-happy-marriage/103058/48 "2002-04-15T18:59:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lieu \* > In the interests of science and out of respect for all things **Cranky** , this thread aroused my curiosity and convinced me to stop at the Burger King I’ve ignorantly passed twice daily for several years now on my way home last night. These are the exact “interests of science” about which we were warned in all those Atomic Monster movies of the '50’s. I, too, hit the BK after reading this thread, on Friday. Let the historians argue over whether my voice wavered a bit when I asked for onion rings instead of fries. I got the zesty sauce, too. I imagined doughboys stumbling out of mustard-gassed trenches, screaming, “Mmmm…zesty.” Farts? Yes. I knew what I was getting into. But, it’s worth adding, since this seems to be previously undocumented, _my pee smelled like onion rings_. The odor was as unmistakable as it was, um, robust. Perhaps this is an effect of onion consumption in general, but if it is, I’ve certainly never noticed it before. Further study is probably called for. Was there some horrible reaction in my gut with the zesty sauce? Should investigations be made as to the possible catalytic effect of industrial quantities of beer? (BK onion rings and beer on the same night. I love my GI tract almost as much as Sherman loved Atlanta.) ---
**Author:** ![Caricci](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Caricci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caricci)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2002, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burger-king-and-the-possible-dissolution-of-my-otherwise-happy-marriage/103058/49 "2002-04-15T19:20:07Z")
Onions are pretty toxic in general. Am I the only person who has ever had onion soup leave looking and smelling exactly as it did entering? ---
**Author:** ![Hyperelastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Hyperelastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hyperelastic)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2002, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burger-king-and-the-possible-dissolution-of-my-otherwise-happy-marriage/103058/50 "2002-04-15T19:26:45Z")
I noticed that several people reported that their farts and pee actually retain the smell of onions. I wonder if the fragrances and flavorings BK adds to their foods are indigestible and passed into the wastes? Soylent Brown?! ---
**Author:** ![pluto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f08c70/32.png) [@pluto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pluto)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2002, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burger-king-and-the-possible-dissolution-of-my-otherwise-happy-marriage/103058/51 "2002-04-15T19:40:25Z")
\ Geez! I don’t get to the SDMB for a coupla weeks and this is what I come back to! I **was** going to recommend a great book I’d read but apparently it’s nowhere near scatalogical enough for this crowd. How is it this most mundane of topics brings out such eloquence? I guess it only demonstrates the value of the advice to write about what you know about. “Nether reasons” indeed! \ ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2002, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burger-king-and-the-possible-dissolution-of-my-otherwise-happy-marriage/103058/52 "2002-04-15T19:47:17Z")
Well, if that’s true then I want some _Glade Snack Cakes_ to nibble on. Maybe first thing in the morning I can take a _lemon scented_ dump. For lunch I’ll launch an _Irish Mist_ sea pickle. Then for supper, a _powder fresh_ poot. Gee Mary, your ass smells just like a bunch of ferns. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2002, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burger-king-and-the-possible-dissolution-of-my-otherwise-happy-marriage/103058/53 "2002-04-15T22:33:27Z")
I know **Cranky.** She’s been to my house. I’ve been to hers. She is a charming, lovely, delightful lady, and I’m glad to call her a friend. I love reading her posts, because they are always, always good. But I’ll be damned if this isn’t the _funniest_ thing I’ve read in a long, long time. Laughed so hard I cried, I swear to Goddess. I don’t have that problem with the BK onion rings, but I am lactose intolerant. I know all about lethal gases. I’ve even had to give up most ice creams in the interest of saving my marriage and maintaining my friendships. Hey Cranky, how’s about you, me, & **Shirley Ujest** meet for lunch at Burger King some afternoon? You two can have onion rings, and I’ll have a nice big chocolate shake. By the end of the day, we should have the entire state to ourselves. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mielikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Mielikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mielikki)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2002, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burger-king-and-the-possible-dissolution-of-my-otherwise-happy-marriage/103058/54 "2002-04-15T23:44:58Z")
> [@](#): > > I started laughing so hard at this thread, I ended up “fluffing” Um…um…um…this word… it obviously means something _waaaaay_ different for me- could you clarify, **screech**? Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![OttoDaFe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ottodafe/32/356_2.png) [@OttoDaFe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OttoDaFe)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2002, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burger-king-and-the-possible-dissolution-of-my-otherwise-happy-marriage/103058/55 "2002-04-16T00:04:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mielikki \* > > > [@](#): > > > > I started laughing so hard at this thread, I ended up “fluffing” > > \*\*Um…um…um…this word… it obviously means something _waaaaay_ different for me- could you clarify, **screech**? Thanks! \*\* Back when I was involved in theater, we would frequently end an evening (mis)spent rehearsing and building sets with a 1:00 AM bowl of Navy Bean soup at the local greasy spoon. The usual farewell (spoken on the way out the door): **The sheets will fluff tonight!** ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2002, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burger-king-and-the-possible-dissolution-of-my-otherwise-happy-marriage/103058/56 "2002-04-16T00:13:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mielikki \* > \*\*Um…um…um…this word… it obviously means something _waaaaay_ different for me- could you clarify, **screech**? Thanks! \*\* To 'splain… There’s an old saying: “Women don’t fart, they fluff.” Dunno where it came from, but it’s one I’ve heard for many-odd (and some very odd) years, and seen on bumperstickers, to boot; basically meaning “women are more genteel about bodily functions” or so. Well, in explaining this to (former)Roommate one day after a particularly noxious and violent (but wholly accidental) ‘outburst’, (f)R stated that 'if _that_ was a ‘fluff’, you’d better make sure there was no ‘lint’" (essentially, ‘check yer drawers fer skidmarks’). Yup, and I am wholly aware of the other meaning. This definition fits in much better with the topic at hand. ---
**Author:** ![Mielikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Mielikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mielikki)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2002, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burger-king-and-the-possible-dissolution-of-my-otherwise-happy-marriage/103058/57 "2002-04-16T00:20:07Z")
Ah! Thank you. I hadn’t heard that one; It All Makes Sense Now. ---
**Author:** ![drewbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drewbert/32/15890_2.png) [@drewbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewbert)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2002, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burger-king-and-the-possible-dissolution-of-my-otherwise-happy-marriage/103058/58 "2002-04-16T01:23:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lieu \* > **I took a Shoemaker-Levy 9 crap today.** You realize of course, that there are precious few places in the world where such a joke makes sense. Thank the heavens for Dopers, who can mix scatology with astrophysics and come out unscathed. [sub]now, on to the jokes about Uranus[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2002, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burger-king-and-the-possible-dissolution-of-my-otherwise-happy-marriage/103058/59 "2002-04-16T01:48:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by OttoDaFe \* > **The sheets will fluff tonight!** Heh. I like this line. ---
**Author:** ![Tommyturtle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@Tommyturtle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tommyturtle)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2003, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burger-king-and-the-possible-dissolution-of-my-otherwise-happy-marriage/103058/60 "2003-11-12T02:46:59Z")
I once had a girlfriend who loved to fart We’d be under the covers watching TV and she’d get a beatific smile on her face like she just saw God…the next thing I would know she’d throw the blanket over my head so I got to smell the um exhaust…ewww I like to say we didn’t break up…I just lit one of her farts and she still hasn’t landed yet [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burger-king-and-the-possible-dissolution-of-my-otherwise-happy-marriage/103058.md?page=2)