# Burial when living spouse re-marries **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 27, 2011, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burial-when-living-spouse-re-marries/604209 "2011-11-27T02:54:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![obbn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/d6d6ee/32.png) [@obbn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obbn)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2011, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burial-when-living-spouse-re-marries/604209/1 "2011-11-27T02:54:57Z")
Hello All, I took my son today to visit his Grandmother’s grave. She passed last year in her early 50’s, way too early. I was looking at the gravestone and it has a spot open on it for her husband when he passes. However, he was much younger than her and I don’t expect him to stay single forever. I remember talking to both of them and their wish to be buried next to each other (they have a son together), even the headstone says “together forever”. My question is, what usually happens in this situation when the surviving spouse re-marries. I am going to assume that the next spouse will expect that they will be buried together. I do understand that this is a personal decision and there is no set answer. I just wanted some thoughts on the scenario. ---
**Author:** ![JoThrive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@JoThrive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoThrive)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2011, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burial-when-living-spouse-re-marries/604209/2 "2011-11-27T03:09:08Z")
Well, if he remarries, the probabilities are that he will marry a widow, who will have a former spouse buried somewhere in a plot with a space open for her. Problem solved. Well, it’s possible. It’s happened in our family. It worked out just fine. But everyone is different. ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2011, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burial-when-living-spouse-re-marries/604209/3 "2011-11-27T03:40:52Z")
Jo, that is what happened with my grandmother and her second spouse. They were both buried with their first spouses by mutual agreement. These days, with so many people being cremated, it’s not quite the same issue. It’s worth discussing it with a potential spouse if you are a widow/er. ---
**Author:** ![obbn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/d6d6ee/32.png) [@obbn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obbn)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2011, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burial-when-living-spouse-re-marries/604209/4 "2011-11-27T03:53:56Z")
Thanks for the replies. I actually never thought of him marrying a widow. The whole thing just has always bothered me for some reason. ---
**Author:** ![Pai325](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Pai325](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pai325)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2011, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burial-when-living-spouse-re-marries/604209/5 "2011-11-27T04:07:21Z")
My aunt was buried with her second husband. She had one child with her first, and was widowed at 24 or so. She remarried and had three children with her second husband and that’s who she ended up with. ---
**Author:** ![Q.N.Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3da27b/32.png) [@Q.N.Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.N.Jones)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2011, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burial-when-living-spouse-re-marries/604209/6 "2011-11-27T04:51:08Z")
My great-grandmother was married three times. She was buried with all three of her husbands–Two and Three on either side, and the cremains of First were eventually buried on top of her plot. ---
**Author:** ![thirdwarning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecccb3/32.png) [@thirdwarning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdwarning)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2011, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burial-when-living-spouse-re-marries/604209/7 "2011-11-27T06:10:18Z")
My grandmother is buried next to her second husband. His first wife is on his other side. He was a widower when my grandmother married him, and she was divorced. That might have had a lot to do with it. And as I type this, I realize that I don’t know where my grandfather is buried. Or if his second wife is next to him to with her succeeding husband. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2011, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burial-when-living-spouse-re-marries/604209/8 "2011-11-27T06:14:23Z")
My grandma is buried in a grave next to a headstone that reads “Zipper Grandpa 1924-” Grandpa’s been with his new wife for like 25 years now and I am 99% sure he’ll be buried in his new hometown alongside her (although she is like 10 years younger, so he’ll be alone for a bit). When it comes to the Cleveland cemetery, I guess he’ll just be immortal. ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2011, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burial-when-living-spouse-re-marries/604209/9 "2011-11-27T06:31:32Z")
My Grandfather was buried next to my biological grandmother, who died when I was about 6 months old. A couple of rows over in the same cemetery, my Grandma is buried next to her first husband. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2011, 9:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burial-when-living-spouse-re-marries/604209/10 "2011-11-27T09:50:07Z")
Burial sites in Spain tend to be either individual wall niches or group graves. My greatgrandfather and his two wives got interred in the same grave, but - so did the wives’ unmarried youngest sister (yes, the two wives had been sisters), as well as more than twenty other relatives. ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2011, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burial-when-living-spouse-re-marries/604209/11 "2011-11-27T18:27:51Z")
Probably fairly typical. My mother is buried next to my father. He second husband is presumably buried next to his first wife. I assume his third wife is buried next to her first husband. He buried three wives and then died about 6 months after the last one. ---
**Author:** ![Bhoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ce73a5/32.png) [@Bhoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bhoe)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2011, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burial-when-living-spouse-re-marries/604209/12 "2011-11-27T18:36:48Z")
My great grandfather was a windower when he married my great grandmother. They’re all burried in the same plot. On top of each other. It’s first wife, my great grandmother, and then him. He outlived everyone he married. ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2011, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burial-when-living-spouse-re-marries/604209/13 "2011-11-28T02:21:18Z")
My father died of cancer. My mother remarried, marrying one of my dad’s oldest friends. He lost his first wife to cancer. Mother died. My mother and father had plots next to each other. My stepfather bought the plot next to my mother on the other side, although he wishes to be cremated. StG ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2011, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burial-when-living-spouse-re-marries/604209/14 "2011-11-29T22:09:55Z")
I would imagine there are a lot of empty plots with a double marker over them saying, “Beloved Husband/Wife, Together Forever” with no date of death, because the surviving spouse remarried and moved a thousand miles away. Might be an interesting geneology project to do an informal survey of cemeteries. ~VOW