# Burned some brideges/made some serious mistakes in my job career. Now I'm changed and want back in **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 15, 2011, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burned-some-brideges-made-some-serious-mistakes-in-my-job-career-now-im-changed-and-want-back-in/606266 "2011-12-15T02:06:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2011, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burned-some-brideges-made-some-serious-mistakes-in-my-job-career-now-im-changed-and-want-back-in/606266/81 "2011-12-18T21:53:47Z")
> [@The\_Second\_Stone](#): > > I passed the thread for a few days while I thought about it. I did not read the other responses yet, so apologies to people who gave the same advice before me. > > A third DUI would end your prospects for a somewhat normal life in my opinion… Yes. A third DUI in many jurisdictions is a felony, which often comes with loss of voting rights, loss of the right to carry a gun, and loss of the ability to qualify for professional licenses without a lot of work. Yes, you have a criminal record, but if all you have is two misdemeanor DUI’s, you don’t have a super-cereal record and you CAN work to seriously diminish the effects of those convictions. What you need to do now is to stay sober and/or avoid driving after drinking, so as to avoid getting yourself a third DUI, which is going to REALLY hurt. ---
**Author:** ![MaddyStrut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dbc845/32.png) [@MaddyStrut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaddyStrut)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2011, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burned-some-brideges-made-some-serious-mistakes-in-my-job-career-now-im-changed-and-want-back-in/606266/82 "2011-12-18T22:33:21Z")
First off, I’m sorry about your father. Even if you weren’t incredibly close, it has to hurt. I’d like to have my home and car paid off and money to invest, but not at that price. Not at all. And good for you for getting sober in your early 20’s. Many people take a lot longer to make that change. That said, I’m going to chime in with the chorus that you’re going to have to pay your dues for a while longer. You’ve made mistakes and there are consequences to them. Yes, you can overcome them, but a year really isn’t enough time. It may seem like a long time to someone who’s 24 and has made so many changes they barely recognize the person they were before, but it’s really not when you’re looking through the eyes of a hiring manager. I’ve hired people, and one thing to realize is that companies–particularly in today’s economy–are very,\* very\* risk averse with regards to hiring. No one wants to hire someone who won’t work out in the position. Not only is it a huge hassle to fire someone, it’s a substantial cost to the company, and you get called to the carpet to explain why you hired them in the first place and how you’re going to avoid making that mistake again (and everyone listening to your explanation has the benefit of hindsight and is certain _they_ wouldn’t make that mistake). So only in rare circumstances will someone take a chance on a candidate. You need to prove that it’s really not that big a risk. Someone coming out of college doesn’t have the red flags on their record and resume that you do. That means they’re perceived as less of a risk. You need to show that you can handle stress because all jobs will have stress (and don’t try the route of saying the job you’re interviewing for is less stressful, because everyone thinks they put up with more stress than the average worker). You need to show that you’ll stick through the unpleasant parts of a job without walking off because all jobs have unpleasant parts. You need to show you can work with less than stellar bosses because no place wants a delicate flower who only performs for perfect managers. All of that takes time. That doesn’t mean don’t apply for good opportunities you see now (you never know), but don’t get discouraged if it doesn’t happen for you for a few more years. In the meantime, keep up to date with new developments in your field, so you’re just as current as those coming out of school. Build a great track record at your current job so you have strong references that someone else may not. And work on finding ways to cope with stress, boredom, and loneliness that don’t involve drinking. Personal growth is a positive with a candidate, but you need time to show that it has worked. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2011, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burned-some-brideges-made-some-serious-mistakes-in-my-job-career-now-im-changed-and-want-back-in/606266/83 "2011-12-19T00:59:34Z")
> [@sdstudent1](#): > > TokyoPlayer, no offense, but the first thing the lady counselor I had in out-patient rehab told me was that I should be proud of the 16 HOURS of sobriety I had at the time.. Of course you should be proud of being sober, BUT I was trying to show you how an employer thinks. However > [@](#): > > I know this industry a bit better than a lot of people on this board (unless there is an agronomist present that hasn’t piped in yet) and there is a lot of movement between jobs at six months to a year. Not trying to toot a horn, but It’s just the way things happen. I think you are right, there may not be anything that the people on this board can offer you. Good luck. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2011, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burned-some-brideges-made-some-serious-mistakes-in-my-job-career-now-im-changed-and-want-back-in/606266/84 "2011-12-19T02:18:38Z")
IME (and I’ve done more than dabble in addiction medicine in the last 2 decades) it takes 18-24 months for the brain to really start working normally after chronic substance abuse. Combine that with the fact that the male brain isn’t fully mature even in the best of circumstances until about age 26 or 27, and you can be assured you’re still not doing your best thinking. And one’s consequences continue long after the drinking and using stops. Back in 2007 I made the newspapers **17 years** after I had sobered up because an intrepid reporter wanted to do an expose on alcoholic physicians who are still allowed by the medical board to practice. He duly reported that I _claimed_ 17 years of sobriety, but made it clear he thought an alcoholic could never be trusted. Nothing for it but to stay sober. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2011, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burned-some-brideges-made-some-serious-mistakes-in-my-job-career-now-im-changed-and-want-back-in/606266/85 "2011-12-19T02:54:14Z")
> [@sdstudent1](#): > > I don’t drink anymore, so no felony dui for me. Overeating is impossible for me. I’m 6 foot 2 and weigh 175 as we speak. I made it up to 203 once but that was very short lived. I go to lots of AA meetings. Do I walk the walk though and follow the steps? Not really, but I do stay sober. > > Of course I’d never use the sheriff as a reference. I was thinking more along the lines of using him as a reference in my case for having my 2nd dui covered up. He’s one person that seemed impressed by my responsibility after showing a bunch of irresponsibility. When I was wearing that SCRAM bracelet, every time he called me to come to his office and have it reset because it was acting weird, I showed up immediately. He always said “you don’t waste any time, do you?” But that probably doesn’t mean anything and apparently my lawyer is a dumbass and so am I for pursuing the case, right? I’m not expecting anything from it, just hoping for the best. I always do. > > I still don’t know why some of you are downgrading my choice of college studies. Should I have gone for liberal arts? > > Most everything I have that costs money is a virtue of my dad dying when I was 21. Before I get bashed for inheriting some money, please note that I did not piss it away like so many others do. I pissed away a (very) small chunk of it a few years back gambling and doing other stuff but the rest has been used for improvements and investments. My reasoning for wanting a higher paying job is indeed to prove myself to me and to increase my wealth. I actually do have my own ag dealership. I sold some wheat seed to two guys before I got on the computer this morning, but having my own business like that is no guarantee for income. > > The fact that I was offered two good, high-paying jobs right after college had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with any sort of family ties at all. It was all me. I don’t trust most of my family and keep them out of the loop of most of my career choices these days. A lot of funny business happened in my family when my dad died so I keep them out of what I’m doing. > > As far as not being able to move, that is still the gospel, but almost all of the jobs I’d be looking at are home-based, and currently there aren’t any openings according to the one website I frequent that lists most jobs available within my industry, but I am looking towards the future. I am in the process of applying for one job that is not home based right in my own home town. It’s not my ideal job, but a starting point as it would get me out of a factory and back into the industry. > > I have a recruiter/head-hunter working for me right now. He says there are a couple jobs like the ones I am preferably looking for that he says I’d be qualified for that would be available after the first of the year. This guy is not a professional bull-shitter. His job is to hook people up with jobs and stay with them. That is how he makes his money. > > I’m still trying to figure out where this ‘holier-than-thou’ attitude you guys paint me with is coming from. I grunt with a bunch of Hispanics (actually I only do that about 10% percent of the time, the rest of my job is spent running a process via computer) and I do not sit in the break room and gloat about how much better I am than the job and my coworkers. I might seem that way on this anonymous website but in real life I’m pretty humble, and I keep my mouth shut. > > And as far as not owning up, I starting drinking when I was 19, it turned into a real problem when I was 21, I got a dui because I was driving drunk, coming home from visiting a girl, I turned into what I’d call a problem drinker right before my 22nd birthday because I was too far from home and lonely. I started drinking in the morning to keep on the buzz I had a acquired from drinking to pass out every night. That kept on for seven months until I went to in-patient. I started up again about a month after in-patient because I didn’t feel it was the time for me to quit. I went back to full on raging right before my 23rd birthday and kept on trucking for three months before they picked me up for the second time. When they got me then I wasn’t partying or carousing or chasing women or coming home from the bar. I was sitting in my house, alone, chugging a bottle of white rum. I decided to go for a ride to go look at some crops and couldn’t keep it between the lines. After that I quit and have been sober since. > > One thing I want to note is that (for me at least) stress=drinking=more stress=more drinking=still more stress=still more drinking. Failure has a place in that equation too, I’m just not sure where to put it, probably pretty close to the beginning. It’s a vicious circle we talk about in rehab quite a bit. Keep going to AA, and work the steps. When you eventually get to the amends, 9th step, I think, you will be doing what you can to fix things for the people you hurt. Even if the people are really gracious and make small of it, it makes you consider how much your actions impact others. This is an important part of being a responsible adult. I’ve never done AA myself (I’ve never been much for drinking), but I’ve got to say that my friends who have done it have matured enormously. Finally, stay sober. Don’t get to a point where just a little will be okay. Backsliding will bring up all the behaviors that were hurting you. I wish you the very best. ---
**Author:** ![sdstudent1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3be4f8/32.png) [@sdstudent1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sdstudent1)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2011, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burned-some-brideges-made-some-serious-mistakes-in-my-job-career-now-im-changed-and-want-back-in/606266/86 "2011-12-19T02:58:40Z")
> [@TokyoPlayer](#): > > Of course you should be proud of being sober, BUT I was trying to show you how an employer thinks. HoweverI think you are right, there may not be anything that the people on this board can offer you. > > Good luck. Yeah, I meant no offence by that comment by the way, but I know that there are very few people involved in ag on this board so I had to make note of that. I post on a lot of ag websites about other things but this is a totally personal issue and I was pointed out on a different website that this is a very small world and I found out I have some neighbors on some of those websites :eek: so I come to a website like this where no one knows me, or at least I hope. I try my hardest to keep on the up and up on job opportunities within the industry. My best friend is a sales/service man for a seed company with lots of connections and knows about a lot of movements within the industry and I am an obsessive internet researcher as well. I appreciate the inputs so far! ---
**Author:** ![sdstudent1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3be4f8/32.png) [@sdstudent1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sdstudent1)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2011, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burned-some-brideges-made-some-serious-mistakes-in-my-job-career-now-im-changed-and-want-back-in/606266/87 "2011-12-19T14:32:53Z")
On a lighter note, since I’m sure there is a lot of ignorance of the subject on this board, if someone thinks I should start an “ask a farmer” thread, like the “ask a gay guy” and other threads I’ve read on this board, let me know. I doubt anyone would show much interest but I thought I’d throw that out there for you. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2011, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burned-some-brideges-made-some-serious-mistakes-in-my-job-career-now-im-changed-and-want-back-in/606266/88 "2011-12-19T15:25:37Z")
I’d be interested, personally. I used to know a ton of farmers when I was a kid, but not anymore. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burned-some-brideges-made-some-serious-mistakes-in-my-job-career-now-im-changed-and-want-back-in/606266.md?page=4)