# Burp cough burp cough burp cough! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 23, 2003, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burp-cough-burp-cough-burp-cough/157020 "2003-02-23T21:27:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burp-cough-burp-cough-burp-cough/157020/1 "2003-02-23T21:27:24Z")
I am burping to relieve the painful tightness in my lower-chest, this causes a tickly feeling in the throat, eventually I cough to relieve the tickly feeling, which causes a painful tightness in my lower chest. This cycle has been going on for the last 6 hours, and it is pissing me off! ---
**Author:** ![samarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@samarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samarm)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burp-cough-burp-cough-burp-cough/157020/2 "2003-02-23T21:29:59Z")
0/10 ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burp-cough-burp-cough-burp-cough/157020/3 "2003-02-23T21:31:38Z")
More than I expected. ---
**Author:** ![samarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@samarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samarm)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burp-cough-burp-cough-burp-cough/157020/4 "2003-02-23T21:33:25Z")
Come on man, you didn’t really put any effort into that! Go back, have a re-think, and then post the rant that it could have been. Make use of the words “fuck” and “goat”. Class dismissed. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burp-cough-burp-cough-burp-cough/157020/5 "2003-02-23T21:37:31Z")
I am burping to goat relieve the painful tightness in my lower-chest, this causes a tickly feeling in the throat, eventually I cough to relieve the tickly feeling, which causes a painful fuck tightness in my lower chest. This cycle has been going on for the goat last 6 hours, and it is pissing me fuck off! ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burp-cough-burp-cough-burp-cough/157020/6 "2003-02-23T21:38:51Z")
Chest goat pain fuck! ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burp-cough-burp-cough-burp-cough/157020/7 "2003-02-23T22:13:27Z")
There’s this chest-fucking goat pain guy making all goat kinds of fucking chest noises on the pain other side of this wall, and he’s pissing goat chest me off pain! ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burp-cough-burp-cough-burp-cough/157020/8 "2003-02-23T22:13:35Z")
Hmmm…better. Permit me to attempt a rewrite using appropriately pithy Pit language: “Fuck this!! I’ve spent the last 6 motherfucking hours burping my **ass** off to relieve this goddamn tension in my chest. Of course, this causes a fucking tickling in my damn throat which makes me cough like son of a bitch causing that fucking tension in my chest all the fuck over again! Shit!!! This is pissing me right the fuck off!! Arrrrrghhhh!!!” How’s that? ---
**Author:** ![Kal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Kal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kal)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burp-cough-burp-cough-burp-cough/157020/9 "2003-02-23T22:16:26Z")
That’s good, but he’s British so you should’ve used **arse**. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2003, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burp-cough-burp-cough-burp-cough/157020/10 "2003-02-23T22:17:57Z")
:smack: You’re right, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2003, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burp-cough-burp-cough-burp-cough/157020/11 "2003-02-24T02:28:20Z")
Shouldn’t you have included a “bloody” in there somewhere, too? ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2003, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burp-cough-burp-cough-burp-cough/157020/12 "2003-02-24T02:42:09Z")
bloody arse fuck chest goat pain damn shit arrghh!!! ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2003, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burp-cough-burp-cough-burp-cough/157020/13 "2003-02-24T03:15:39Z")
Now capitalize random letters for extra emphasis. ---
**Author:** ![sperfur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9adbd/32.png) [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2003, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burp-cough-burp-cough-burp-cough/157020/14 "2003-02-24T06:09:14Z")
You guys are making me pee my pants! **Lobsang** , you’re 4th and 5th posts were the best! ---
**Author:** ![samarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@samarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samarm)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2003, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/burp-cough-burp-cough-burp-cough/157020/15 "2003-02-24T06:10:30Z")
As long as you’re only _peeing_ them…