# Bus Seating Etiquette Question **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 17, 2009, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bus-seating-etiquette-question/521569 "2009-12-17T01:12:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Quercus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/7ab992/32.png) [@Quercus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bus-seating-etiquette-question/521569/21 "2009-12-17T15:35:00Z")
Yeah, it’s not rude to stay next to someone, but if you’re on the inside it’s also not rude for you to ask them to let you out so you can move to an empty row. (It would be rude to ask them to move seats, of course). ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bus-seating-etiquette-question/521569/22 "2009-12-17T15:49:13Z")
If I still have a long way to do, sure I’ll get up and move, so I can sit comfortably. If it’s just one or two stops, I’ll stay put. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bus-seating-etiquette-question/521569/23 "2009-12-17T16:04:44Z")
> [@Palooka](#): > > Only frotteurs don’t move to an open seat when one opens up. > [@elbows](#): > > No way! If I’m sitting next to you, I’m sitting next to you till I get off. Ummm. Yeah. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bus-seating-etiquette-question/521569/24 "2009-12-17T16:37:51Z")
> [@Gustav](#): > > Huh, I’ve always felt it would be kind of rude to move. Like sitting next to this person is so terrible I’m getting the hell away as soon as I spot an opening. LOL. This is the way I always feel too. Then I get that whole “White guilt” feeling when ever the person sitting next to me is black. ---
**Author:** ![jali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecae2f/32.png) [@jali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jali)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bus-seating-etiquette-question/521569/25 "2009-12-17T16:43:07Z")
I ride a train every day and I don’t think people notice or care here. ---
**Author:** ![Serenata67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/serenata67/32/10646_2.png) [@Serenata67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serenata67)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bus-seating-etiquette-question/521569/26 "2009-12-17T17:25:09Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > … > > Here is a more difficult etiquette question: > > I take the bus every morning from Hoboken to the PABT. There are usually plenty of seats when I board, but it is generally filled to standing capacity by the time it reaches the Lincoln Tunnel. I’m a pretty decent sized guy. Not ginormous or anything, but two of me sitting side by side in a bus seat is pretty squished, especially if I’m wearing a suit and jacket over it. I would rather avoid the situation where I sit down and some even more massive guy sits next to me. So is it ok for me to pick a seat next to a woman or smallish man knowing that the bus will probably be full in another few stops, even though there are plenty of open seats? Would just standing for the whole trip be a possibility? That way you’re not forcing anyone to share a specified cubic measurement with you? ---
**Author:** ![Teacake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Teacake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Teacake)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bus-seating-etiquette-question/521569/27 "2009-12-17T19:32:14Z")
Here people tend to move to be by a window. It’s just nicer to sit there than on the aisle - more comfortable, less likelihood of being knocked into etc, and the benefit of actually being able to look out of the window. And actually, it’s considered pretty rude and certainly strange to stay next to someone if an empty seat becomes available. I would never be offended that someone moved away from me; in fact I’d be glad. I’d be more offended if they stayed. ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bus-seating-etiquette-question/521569/28 "2009-12-17T19:38:13Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > I take the bus every morning from Hoboken to the PABT. There are usually plenty of seats when I board, but it is generally filled to standing capacity by the time it reaches the Lincoln Tunnel. I’m a pretty decent sized guy. Not ginormous or anything, but two of me sitting side by side in a bus seat is pretty squished, especially if I’m wearing a suit and jacket over it. I would rather avoid the situation where I sit down and some even more massive guy sits next to me. So is it ok for me to pick a seat next to a woman or smallish man knowing that the bus will probably be full in another few stops, even though there are plenty of open seats? I think I’d just stand in this instance, myself. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bus-seating-etiquette-question/521569/29 "2009-12-17T20:02:21Z")
> [@Serenata67](#): > > Would just standing for the whole trip be a possibility? That way you’re not forcing anyone to share a specified cubic measurement with you? That would just be weird if there were still seats left. :eek: Basically what happens is the seats fill up completely and then another 15-20 people can stand. When I get on, the seats are usually only about half full, but then they fill up over the remaining stops. On an unrelated note, a big pet peeve of mine is the big guy who sits down and spreads his legs so he takes up even more room so anyone sitting next to him is squooshed. That’s the sort of thing people get junk-punched over. ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bus-seating-etiquette-question/521569/30 "2009-12-17T21:20:20Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > On an unrelated note, a big pet peeve of mine is the big guy who sits down and spreads his legs so he takes up even more room so anyone sitting next to him is squooshed. That’s the sort of thing people get junk-punched over. This is behavior I only get away with due to the college town thing, but when I see a dude sitting like that I cram in next to him–making sure to take up EXACTLY my half of the seat and no more–if the bus is anywhere near full. If he doesn’t take the hint and rearrange himself politely, I am sure to comment as he’s departing (since I’m just about the last stop on the line, he usually is before me) that I appreciate the implied offer in his pressing up against me, but he’s just not cute enough for me to go gay. If he gets mad, then I blow him a kiss. Not one of them has had the balls to assault me over it, but I have seen some pretty good demonstrations of punk frat guy rage. I mean, come on, assholes. This bus is GOING to fill up at 4:47 on a weeknight. ---
**Author:** ![Vihaga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Vihaga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vihaga)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bus-seating-etiquette-question/521569/31 "2009-12-17T22:32:35Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > So is it ok for me to pick a seat next to a woman or smallish man knowing that the bus will probably be full in another few stops, even though there are plenty of open seats? How empty is it when you get on? If it’s super empty when you get on, I might feel weird about it if you sat next to me, but if there were a reasonable number of people on already it would be fine. Hell, I’m just relieved when someone clean-looking who isn’t mumbling to him/herself sits next to me on the bus. As for the OP, I prefer it when people move, and I usually do it myself unless I’m getting off soon, but I don’t think someone’s particularly rude if they don’t. It’s more of an extra courtesy than an expectation. ---
**Author:** ![ruadh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d2c977/32.png) [@ruadh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruadh)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bus-seating-etiquette-question/521569/32 "2009-12-17T22:38:51Z")
If I’m in the aisle seat I _always_ get up from sitting next to a person if an empty seat becomes available. And if I’m in the window seat and the person next to me fails to do so, I get very tense. ---
**Author:** ![Maiira](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Maiira](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maiira)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bus-seating-etiquette-question/521569/33 "2009-12-17T22:55:56Z")
> [@Rasa](#): > > But why couldn’t **you** get up and move, in this case, then? I’m picturing this in my head as like a staring contest! 🙂 Like **Siege** said, because I’m sitting in the window seat and the person next to me is in the aisle seat. Besides, I always think “is he going to get off at this stop? No…this stop? Also no…” and knowing my luck, when I finally DID think “all right, I’ve had enough” and moved, the person would have to get off at the very next stop, making my own move pointless. :smack: I suppose the solution to this is to sit in an aisle seat…but then I have to reach over the person next to me to pull the chime, and I hate that. ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Hedonia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ann_hedonia/32/319_2.png) [@Ann\_Hedonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Hedonia)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bus-seating-etiquette-question/521569/34 "2009-12-17T23:10:55Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > LOL. This is the way I always feel too. Then I get that whole “White guilt” feeling when ever the person sitting next to me is black. This happens to me almost every day as I live near the end of my subway line. I always end up moving though…I never travel light to work, I have a heavy backpack for my laptop and other assorted tools and equipment and I am usually lugging a shopping bag or two as well. I wish the people that didn’t have to drag so much crap around would buy a clue and move first since it can be a project for me but they always seem content to stay put. The subway cars on my line have long bench seats that usually seat 6 people as well as some two seater benches. What really annoys me to no end is when I am seated at the far end of the bench seat and the rest of the bench empties except for the seat next to me and the person sitting in that seat still stays pushed up next to me instead of sliding over a few feet to give me some space. In those case I always move, sometimes with attitude. ---
**Author:** ![nivlac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3bc359/32.png) [@nivlac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nivlac)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bus-seating-etiquette-question/521569/35 "2009-12-17T23:38:10Z")
> [@Sound Mind](#): > > …What really annoys me to no end is when I am seated at the far end of the bench seat and the rest of the bench empties except for the seat next to me and the person sitting in that seat still stays pushed up next to me instead of sliding over a few feet to give me some space. In those case I always move, sometimes with attitude. For me the worst seat is the one at the rear of the bus next to the window on a crowded bus. That last row can seat five people – one per window on each side of the bus, one next to each of those two seats, and the seat in the middle. When you’re in the window seat and all seats are occupied it is impossible to get out unless the two passengers next to you get up. If the bus empties I would very much appreciate those two passengers move on to other available seats or at least scoot over. And that does happen most of the time. But when it doesn’t it’s a really weird experience to be all boxed into my seat when the bus is otherwise empty. So I would ask them to get up and I would move myself to a freer seat. ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bus-seating-etiquette-question/521569/36 "2009-12-17T23:50:26Z")
> [@ruadh](#): > > If I’m in the aisle seat I _always_ get up from sitting next to a person if an empty seat becomes available. And if I’m in the window seat and the person next to me fails to do so, I get very tense. Part of the question for me was that if I’m in the window seat and the person in the aisle seat moves, I always have that moment of “was I inadvertently creepy? did I forget deodorant? What the hell’s so bad about sitting next to me?” ---
**Author:** ![Valgard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/7feea3/32.png) [@Valgard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valgard)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bus-seating-etiquette-question/521569/37 "2009-12-17T23:59:34Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > On an unrelated note, a big pet peeve of mine is the big guy who sits down and spreads his legs so he takes up even more room so anyone sitting next to him is squooshed. That’s the sort of thing people get junk-punched over. His relatives: 1. Person who gets on, grabs the window seat and then puts their backpack/shopping bag/etc on the aisle seat and stares straight ahead. This really irks me on the commuter buses here because they know damn well that the bus will be full and our buses have overhead cargo shelves for precisely that purpose (not to mention that most backpacks and whatnot will fit nicely on your lap or at your feet - that’s what I do with mine). 2. Person who gets on, grabs the aisle seat and then pretends not to notice anyone looking for a seat. Then they act like it’s a major imposition when someone needs to actually sit down in the empty window seat. Basically, space hogs who think that paying the same fare as everyone else entitles them to two seats. I don’t care if the bus is mostly empty but on a busy commuter line it’s obnoxious. ---
**Author:** ![ruadh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d2c977/32.png) [@ruadh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruadh)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2009, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bus-seating-etiquette-question/521569/38 "2009-12-18T14:01:28Z")
> [@Zeriel](#): > > Part of the question for me was that if I’m in the window seat and the person in the aisle seat moves, I always have that moment of “was I inadvertently creepy? did I forget deodorant? What the hell’s so bad about sitting next to me?” It’s nothing to do with you personally, it’s about personal space. ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2009, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bus-seating-etiquette-question/521569/39 "2009-12-18T14:43:54Z")
> [@ruadh](#): > > It’s nothing to do with you personally, it’s about personal space. I didn’t say it was rational. Of course, I now notice that the thread is pretty evenly split on opinion of move vs. don’t move. While I should have expected this (:p) I guess it’s one of those things. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2009, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bus-seating-etiquette-question/521569/40 "2009-12-18T15:43:46Z")
On the subway, what I’ll often do, if I’m in the aisle seat and the car has cleared out, is get up to look at the subway map (by the door) for a moment as if I’m checking something about my route, and then I’ll drop into an empty pair of seats. I.e., it looks like I got up for some reason other than getting away from the other person. (Yes, I tend to overthink things). If I’m in the window seat, I do prefer it when the aisle person moves, and I don’t take offense. (Unless, of course, he mutters under his breath, “Thank God!”) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bus-seating-etiquette-question/521569.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bus-seating-etiquette-question/521569.md?page=3)