# Bush is unconscious--what's Cheney doin' in the oval office right now? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 21, 2007, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bush-is-unconscious-whats-cheney-doin-in-the-oval-office-right-now/412680 "2007-07-21T17:10:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![chappachula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@chappachula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chappachula)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2007, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bush-is-unconscious-whats-cheney-doin-in-the-oval-office-right-now/412680/1 "2007-07-21T17:10:38Z")
Okay, so Cheney’s filling in for W in the oval office till they pull the colonoscope tube out of the presidential butt. Whatcha think is goin’ through his mind right now? Is he askin’ the guy guarding the door, “Gee whiz, what’s this red telephone connected to?” or “Tell me again, what happens when that guy over there holding the black bag with the nuclear launch codes has to go to the bathroom”? ---
**Author:** ![Spit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/76d3ee/32.png) [@Spit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spit)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2007, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bush-is-unconscious-whats-cheney-doin-in-the-oval-office-right-now/412680/2 "2007-07-21T17:17:05Z")
One would imagine he had a morning briefing, re-ran through the procedure of, “if something should happen” again, and is probably now having lunch over the usual meetings. I don’t imagine it is anything too awfully exciting. ---
**Author:** ![chappachula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@chappachula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chappachula)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2007, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bush-is-unconscious-whats-cheney-doin-in-the-oval-office-right-now/412680/3 "2007-07-21T17:43:43Z")
[QUOTE=Spit] I don’t imagine it is anything too awfully exciting. [/QUOTE] hey, don’t rain on my parade! I’m just tryin’ to have some fun… How often do I get a chance to use the phrase “presidential butt” ? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2007, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bush-is-unconscious-whats-cheney-doin-in-the-oval-office-right-now/412680/4 "2007-07-21T17:56:12Z")
I’d say Dead Eye Dick was [probably “doin’ the Lovitz.”](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=429183) ---
**Author:** ![A.R.Cane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ee7513/32.png) [@A.R.Cane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/A.R.Cane)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2007, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bush-is-unconscious-whats-cheney-doin-in-the-oval-office-right-now/412680/5 "2007-07-21T18:03:12Z")
He and Condi have been wondering, all these years, what the big fuss was all about. So, now’s their chance. They’re in the Oval Office enjoying a good cigar. ---
**Author:** ![Garfield226](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Garfield226](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Garfield226)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2007, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bush-is-unconscious-whats-cheney-doin-in-the-oval-office-right-now/412680/6 "2007-07-21T18:37:25Z")
So we needed a [99 things Cheney plans to do when he becomes president](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=429645) thread, a [Bush to search for own head](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=429620) thread, and now this one? Just HOW interested are you people in Bush’s ass anyway? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2007, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bush-is-unconscious-whats-cheney-doin-in-the-oval-office-right-now/412680/7 "2007-07-21T18:47:51Z")
[QUOTE=Garfield226] Just HOW interested are you people in Bush’s ass anyway? :rolleyes: [/QUOTE] As long as it’s out of Washington on Jan 20, 2009, I’ll be happy. ---
**Author:** ![A.R.Cane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ee7513/32.png) [@A.R.Cane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/A.R.Cane)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2007, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bush-is-unconscious-whats-cheney-doin-in-the-oval-office-right-now/412680/8 "2007-07-21T19:01:04Z")
[QUOTE=Garfield226] So we needed a [99 things Cheney plans to do when he becomes president](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=429645) thread, a [Bush to search for own head](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=429620) thread, and now this one? Just HOW interested are you people in Bush’s ass anyway? :rolleyes: [/QUOTE] Since he’s all ass, we’re just looking for a place to start. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2007, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bush-is-unconscious-whats-cheney-doin-in-the-oval-office-right-now/412680/9 "2007-07-21T19:02:20Z")
[QUOTE=chappachula] Whatcha think is goin’ through his mind right now? [/QUOTE] Either “Man, this helmet needs to be buffed. And my breathing equipment is all raspy!” or “I get my own theme music? Awesome!” ---
**Author:** ![drewbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drewbert/32/15890_2.png) [@drewbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewbert)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2007, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bush-is-unconscious-whats-cheney-doin-in-the-oval-office-right-now/412680/10 "2007-07-21T19:16:38Z")
Same thing he does every night, Pinky. ---
**Author:** ![Spit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/76d3ee/32.png) [@Spit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spit)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2007, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bush-is-unconscious-whats-cheney-doin-in-the-oval-office-right-now/412680/11 "2007-07-21T19:22:39Z")
[QUOTE=drewbert] Same thing he does every night, Pinky. [/QUOTE] 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2007, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bush-is-unconscious-whats-cheney-doin-in-the-oval-office-right-now/412680/12 "2007-07-21T20:02:58Z")
[QUOTE=A.R. Cane] He and Condi have been wondering, all these years, what the big fuss was all about. So, now’s their chance. They’re in the Oval Office enjoying a good cigar. [/QUOTE] As unwanted Monica Lewinsky inspired images of an Oval Office/cigar/man/woman scenario danced through his head… hey, that’s a joke… mine blow smoke, for a small extra fee! ---
**Author:** ![MagicEyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@MagicEyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicEyes)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2007, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bush-is-unconscious-whats-cheney-doin-in-the-oval-office-right-now/412680/13 "2007-07-21T20:24:07Z")
[QUOTE=drewbert] Same thing he does every night, Pinky. [/QUOTE] That was brilliant. Now if we could just stick him in a cage in a lab with a dumb but lovable mouse… I think he’s making copies of his naked butt on the presidential photocopier. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2007, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bush-is-unconscious-whats-cheney-doin-in-the-oval-office-right-now/412680/14 "2007-07-21T20:35:54Z")
[QUOTE=MagicEyes] That was brilliant. Now if we could just stick him in a cage in a lab with a dumb but lovable mouse… [/QUOTE] Well, we’ve got part of it covered. All we need is the cage and the lovable parts. . . ---
**Author:** ![Priam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/77aa72/32.png) [@Priam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Priam)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2007, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bush-is-unconscious-whats-cheney-doin-in-the-oval-office-right-now/412680/15 "2007-07-21T21:59:37Z")
[QUOTE=Garfield226] So we needed a [99 things Cheney plans to do when he becomes president](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=429645) thread, a [Bush to search for own head](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=429620) thread, and now this one? Just HOW interested are you people in Bush’s ass anyway? :rolleyes: [/QUOTE] Well it IS the Most Powerful Ass in the Free World! ---
**Author:** ![Garfield226](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Garfield226](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Garfield226)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2007, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bush-is-unconscious-whats-cheney-doin-in-the-oval-office-right-now/412680/16 "2007-07-21T22:04:14Z")
[QUOTE=Priam] Well it IS the Most Powerful Ass in the Free World! [/QUOTE] You have obviously never tried my father’s chili. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ratatoskK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ratatoskk/32/2987_2.png) [@ratatoskK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ratatoskK)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2007, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bush-is-unconscious-whats-cheney-doin-in-the-oval-office-right-now/412680/17 "2007-07-21T22:19:57Z")
So if Cheney dies “in office” and Bush is still having his ass reamed, then Nancy Pelosi becomes President!!! I so hope that happens! End of Iraq War!! ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2007, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bush-is-unconscious-whats-cheney-doin-in-the-oval-office-right-now/412680/18 "2007-07-21T22:28:58Z")
Legislating like a motherfuck. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2007, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bush-is-unconscious-whats-cheney-doin-in-the-oval-office-right-now/412680/19 "2007-07-21T22:37:44Z")
> [@](#): > > Bush is unconscious–what’s Cheney doin’ in the oval office right now? Wackin-Off To the Oldies™! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2007, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bush-is-unconscious-whats-cheney-doin-in-the-oval-office-right-now/412680/20 "2007-07-22T01:37:05Z")
He is patiently waiting for insects to come within range of his sticky tongue. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bush-is-unconscious-whats-cheney-doin-in-the-oval-office-right-now/412680.md?page=2)