# Bush v. Kerry, Round Three **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [October 13, 2004, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bush-v-kerry-round-three/268997 "2004-10-13T13:53:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bush-v-kerry-round-three/268997/21 "2004-10-13T17:41:32Z")
Outrage at Kerry forgetting to mention Poland or some other ally: one drink “Hallbiurton”: one drink “You can run, but you can’t hide!” : two drinks Any Bushism: one drink Name dropping of generals: one drink “A few days ago, at a campaign stop in Ohio, I was talking to Mrs. Ida Krumphauer. She told me she was deeply concerned about …”: one drink Bush breaks the rukes : two drinks Kerry breaks the rules: four drinks ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bush-v-kerry-round-three/268997/22 "2004-10-13T17:53:10Z")
Kerry says that Bush doesn’t have a plan - one drink Kerry says that Bush doesn’t have a plan and doesn’t give concrete examples of what his own plan is - two drinks Kerry says that Bush doesn’t have a plan and then goes on to explain his own plan giving solid examples - sit out the next two drinks Kerry says that Bush doesn’t have a plan and then goes on to explain his own plan giving soilid examples and explains how he’ll get funding and/or support for these plans - sit out the next ten drinks Bush says “global test” - two drinks Bush asks to be allowed to “finish” when no one interupts him - three drinks Bush yells at the moderator - five drinks Bush gives a reason for going into Iraq that doesn’t have anything to do with 9/11 - sit out five drinks ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bush-v-kerry-round-three/268997/23 "2004-10-13T18:15:24Z")
Not to venture too far into tinfoil hat territory, but it is worth noting that moderator Schieffer [admits he might not be completely objective:](http://mediamatters.org/items/200410120011) > [@](#): > > …Schieffer has described in the past his “golfing friendship” with President George W. Bush “during the 1990s” and has said, “It’s always difficult to cover someone you know personally.” Not that I’m expecting a Bill O’Reilly-style slantfest, but it’s something to keep in mind… ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bush-v-kerry-round-three/268997/24 "2004-10-13T18:29:18Z")
> [@rjung](#): > > Not to venture too far into tinfoil hat territory, but it is worth noting that moderator Schieffer [admits he might not be completely objective:](http://mediamatters.org/items/200410120011) > > Not that I’m expecting a Bill O’Reilly-style slantfest, but it’s something to keep in mind… Ladies and Gentlemen…pinch hitting for Bob Schieffer…Dan Rather. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bush-v-kerry-round-three/268997/25 "2004-10-13T18:31:48Z")
Well, I think I’ve seen enough of both candidates that watching the debate would be mostly for the entertainment value, and in that case there’s gonna be something more entertaining on, i.e. Astros-Cards. In any event, I’ll get all the essentials (and a lotta laughs) from this thread when its all over. Meanwhile, in reference to this comment: > [@](#): > > Watch the debate, get drunk, then get sober and send him back to Texas. I’ll publicly state this right now: if Mr. Bush is unseated come November, he need not fear unemployment. He’s welcome to apply to the company I work for as a trainee mud logger. As I’m the recruiting officer, I’ll make sure his resume gets due consideration. As long as he passes the drug test, we can promise three weeks’ initial training and a spot working 28/28 hitches at a wellsite near McAllen. ---
**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bush-v-kerry-round-three/268997/26 "2004-10-13T18:34:52Z")
> [@Debaser](#): > > New idea: You could play “Drink while Bush thinks!” You chug while Bush searches for his next word whenever there is a few seconds pause. > > (Warning: may result in hospitalization if Bush performs like he did in the first debate.) My liver wanted me to pass along this angry smiley to you :mad: Boblibdem, the only thing that I would add to your post is that this is also the last chance for Kerry to get specific about his plan in front of a large audience. A lot of minds are going to be made up after tonight. Kerry will need a strong performance to swing them his way. In the last two debates, I don’t think that Kerry won them so much as Bush lost them. Kerry seemed presidential while Bush seemed tempermental. Kerry now needs to make the case that he has a _clear_ plan to improve the country, not just _a_ plan. I would just like to add… -If Bush has another mexed missages, internets, battling green eyeshades moment, take two shots. -If Kerry goes the entire 90 minutes without saying "wrong war, wrong time"drink every last drop of alcohol in the house, including rubbing alcohol. -Take a sip of beer every time Bush says “freedom.” -Take a shot if Bush uses any form of the word freedom more than one time in a sentence. For example, “The armies of a free Iraq are fighting for freedom.” ---
**Author:** ![Leonard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a6a055/32.png) [@Leonard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leonard)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bush-v-kerry-round-three/268997/27 "2004-10-13T18:58:08Z")
> [@El\_Kabong](#): > > I’ll publicly state this right now: if Mr. Bush is unseated come November, he need not fear unemployment. He’s welcome to apply to the company I work for as a trainee mud logger. As I’m the recruiting officer, I’ll make sure his resume gets due consideration. As long as he passes the drug test, we can promise three weeks’ initial training and a spot working 28/28 hitches at a wellsite near McAllen. What, you want to spoil him? Let him clean the mud tanks when the job is over (and some good oil-based mud tanks, none of that easy shit 😃 ). ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bush-v-kerry-round-three/268997/28 "2004-10-13T19:15:24Z")
Thing I want Kerry to say: “Are you better off today than you were four years ago?” That, or “There you go again.” ---
**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bush-v-kerry-round-three/268997/29 "2004-10-13T20:40:04Z")
I would really like to hear Kerry call Bush on the “tax and spend liberal” line he’s been talking up lately. I’m sure a fair amount of people would prefer a tax and spend liberal to a spend spend spend neocon (I only use the term neocon because AFAIK most conservatives are in favor of a balanced budget and responsible spending). ---
**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2004, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bush-v-kerry-round-three/268997/30 "2004-10-14T00:08:47Z")
I don’t drink. Will someone kindly knock one back for me if you hear “you can run, but you can’t hide?” Thank you in advance. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2004, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bush-v-kerry-round-three/268997/31 "2004-10-14T00:32:07Z")
If Kerry says “I could sure as fuck run and hide from ya, if my name was OSAMA BIN LADEN!” I’m polishing off the bottle. ---
**Author:** ![wolf\_meister](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolf_meister/32/15202_2.png) [@wolf\_meister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_meister)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2004, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bush-v-kerry-round-three/268997/32 "2004-10-14T00:42:07Z")
“Dubya” Bush gets an expression and runs it into the ground. “You can run but you cannot hide”. I don’t even know what the Hell he means by that. A good Kerry reply would be “Yes, I cannot do the excellent job of running and hiding from the draft as Mr Bush did in the late 1960’s when he joined the Texas National Guard. He was so good at hiding, the Vietcong NEVER met up with him”. If “Dubya” Bush decides to conjure up a new catch phrase what will it be? I suspect it will be something profound such as “I’m not gonna pay a lot for this muffler”. Or maybe “I know you are but what am I?” ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2004, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bush-v-kerry-round-three/268997/33 "2004-10-14T00:47:57Z")
I’ve been taking acetaminophen to fight this nasty cold, so no booze for me, alas. ---
**Author:** ![5que](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/3bc359/32.png) [@5que](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5que)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2004, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bush-v-kerry-round-three/268997/34 "2004-10-14T00:54:25Z")
Hey, Chris Mathews is asking for “bets” on who will say Iraq first. Close to our drinking game. ---
**Author:** ![drewbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drewbert/32/15890_2.png) [@drewbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewbert)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2004, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bush-v-kerry-round-three/268997/35 "2004-10-14T00:54:40Z")
> [@Malodorous](#): > > Anytime you find yourself in awe of the fact that in a country of 300 million people, this is the best candidates the two parties could scrape up, weep softly to yourself, then drink I’m already drunk, and the debate hasn’t started yet. ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2004, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bush-v-kerry-round-three/268997/36 "2004-10-14T00:57:20Z")
aaaannnd, we’re off… ---
**Author:** ![sugaree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@sugaree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sugaree)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2004, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bush-v-kerry-round-three/268997/37 "2004-10-14T00:58:20Z")
I turn on CNN and I hear some talking head say that he was more nervous than a hooker in church. Am I hallucinating again? ---
**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2004, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bush-v-kerry-round-three/268997/38 "2004-10-14T00:59:38Z")
Two red ties–twins! ---
**Author:** ![katie1341](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/91b2a8/32.png) [@katie1341](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/katie1341)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2004, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bush-v-kerry-round-three/268997/39 "2004-10-14T00:59:41Z")
They’re both wearing red ties tonight. Guess they forgot to coordinate. ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2004, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bush-v-kerry-round-three/268997/40 "2004-10-14T00:59:48Z")
Bush smirks right off the bat…drink [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bush-v-kerry-round-three/268997.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bush-v-kerry-round-three/268997.md?page=3)