Or better yet, SMEs (pronounced “SMEEEEES”)?
The latest one I’ve been encountering is “socialize” as in…
“We had a meeting with our client where we socialized the idea of them improving their business processes by…”
Um… yeah, we socialized the idea.
MeanJoe
We should concetrate our efforts across to board toward leveraging this idea in a pro-active way for value-added results. We will grow the business with an emphasis on austerity and use a multi-phase approach to addressing both the concerns and the challenges we face as we move forward.
Translation: No more free donuts at meetings.
That’s exactly what I was thinking, except with more snark™.
Don’t forget to touch base with your own team after successfully reaching out to another one Like Depeche Mode sang, sort of, “reach out and touch base”.
How’s about a golden shower?
Yes, I had to go there.
I quit the FAA almost five years ago and I was still able to follow that sentence with no problem.
And ‘stakeholders’ still makes me twitch involuntarily.
Why? Are you a vampire?
At the end of the day, what really matters is whether or not those SMEs are full-time equivalents. And, you may need to ping them to find out if they are available for the face-to-face.
Sorry, can’t spare the cycles. Some other resources will have to do the needful.
Regards,
Shodan
Thanks guys, this is all good substrate for a future rant on business bullshit!
But are we sure we have enough bandwidth?
Seriously, the BYE’s where I work have just discovered this word, and it can mean either people, money, or time. It finds it’s way into most of their BNIs.
BYE = Budding Young Executive
BNI = Bold New Initiative
Just attend any large teachers’ meeting and the buzzwords and edu-speak are enough to make anyone throw up. Everyone seems so afraid to be politically incorrect or make a statement that makes any sense or takes a stand; I call it ethereal white noise. Nice to doze off while you listen, so at least there is that.
Every tax payer is a stakeholder for every government decision.
No, they aren’t. Being a “Stakeholder” implies some sort of input from the Stakeholders that makes the outcome matter. It requires more than merely being a taxpayer.
Seems to be to be a philosophical issue on which we differ.
In any case,
http://www.businessdictionary.com/definition/stakeholder.html
Stakeholder:
Person, group, or organization that has direct or indirect stake in an organization because it can affect or be affected by the organization’s actions, objectives, and policies. Key stakeholders in a business organization include creditors, customers, directors, employees, government (and its agencies), owners (shareholders), suppliers, unions, and the community from which the business draws its resources. Although stake-holding is usually self-legitimizing (those who judge themselves to be stakeholders are de facto so), all stakeholders are not equal and different stakeholders are entitled to different considerations. For example, a firm’s customers are entitled to fair trading practices but they are not entitled to the same consideration as the firm’s employees.
Taxpayers are customers, not stakeholders.
I pay taxes but I’m not a stakeholder in provision of screening treatments for cervical cancer because I’m a man. I am however a customer for lots of other government services and interventions, but even then I’m not a stakeholder because I don’t have any direct influence on them.
Customers are stakeholders. Taxpayers are stakeholders. Stakeholder is a broad term applying to anyone. Pretty much what **Isamu **described.
In your particular example, you could be a stakeholder (unless you simply just don’t care) because even though you can’t get cervical cancer, your taxes go to paying for those services. You may feel that those taxes would be better served going to prostate cancer. Even if you don’t have influence, you may be affected by those policies.
I hate the term “Regards” used to sign emails. Some of my fellow middle management types and I were saying how it is used when you don’t feel the person you are emailing is important enough to say “thank you” to.
Basically it is synonomous with “Retards”.
maybe reaching out is the new touching base. Does anyone still say ‘touch base’?