# Business names that sound completely fake **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 28, 2007, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354 "2007-10-28T18:19:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/51bf81/32.png) [@TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2007, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/1 "2007-10-28T18:19:07Z")
I recently encountered “Hobby Lobby,” which is apparently a chain all over the midwest of craft stores. I just can’t get past the name - it sounds like the name of a fake store that you’d hear in a sitcom, like if Darlene needed to get a summer job on _Roseanne_ and Dan comes in and he’s all like, “I heard Hobby Lobby’s hiring” and Darlene’s all “Hobby Lobby? God, why don’t I just suck on a nail gun?” Another recent “fake name” favorite is the chain restaurant Houlihan’s. I actually thought that was the name of the “flair” restaurant in _Office Space_ for a moment, because it just sounds like a totally fake name that perfectly embodies the vibe of every awful Applebee’s/Ruby Tuesday/Bennigan’s type place across America. Whenever I see a Houlihan’s, I wonder for a moment whether I’ve wandered onto the set of the latest Kevin Smith movie. ---
**Author:** ![brazil84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8491ac/32.png) [@brazil84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brazil84)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2007, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/2 "2007-10-28T18:28:28Z")
Fuddruckers ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2007, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/3 "2007-10-28T18:35:54Z")
I’m always suspicious of places with generic names that don’t really mean anything, like “Applied Services Ltd”. It makes me wonder what they’re hiding. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2007, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/4 "2007-10-28T18:49:38Z")
Anything overly long, similar to a number of businesses named on the Simpson’s (wasn’t there something like “Professor PJ Cornucopia’s Fantastic Foodmagorium And Great American Steakery” mentioned on that show?) just seems to me to be fake somehow, even if the business is legitimate. For example, there really is a business named “Two Small Men With Big Hearts Moving Company,” but it just doesn’t sound legitimate. The exception to this rule are firms named after people, where the partners pile themselves up in the name: Smith, Jones, Brown, Collins, Turner, Field, Ross, McLean, and Dunn. Now that’s either a law firm or an accounting company! ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2007, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/5 "2007-10-28T19:28:18Z")
[QUOTE=Spoons] The exception to this rule are firms named after people, where the partners pile themselves up in the name: Smith, Jones, Brown, Collins, Turner, Field, Ross, McLean, and Dunn. Now that’s either a law firm or an accounting company! [/QUOTE] What about those law-firm-type names where one of the names just doesn’t “go” with the others, like Winthrop, Smythe, Belvedere, and Yablonsky? Those always sound like joke names to me! ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2007, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/6 "2007-10-28T19:30:41Z")
A brush-less car wash around here was called The Hand Job. There is a good Thai restaurant in Dana Point called Thai This. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Gadai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@An\_Gadai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Gadai)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2007, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/7 "2007-10-28T19:33:37Z")
I’ve heard of a Thai restaurant in Belfast called Thai-tanic which sounds fake to me but ya never know. There’s a pizza place in my town called Rebel Pizza that has a huge picture of Che Guevara as its logo. It seems like a sit-com pizzaria. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2007, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/8 "2007-10-28T19:39:43Z")
Any retail clothing chain that begins with the initial J., except for J. Press, the original. There’s also J. Crew, J. Jill, J. Riggings…What were they thinking? _Were_ they thinking? ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2007, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/9 "2007-10-28T19:45:36Z")
[QUOTE=VCO3] I recently encountered “Hobby Lobby,” which is apparently a chain all over the midwest of craft stores. I just can’t get past the name - it sounds like the name of a fake store that you’d hear in a sitcom, like if Darlene needed to get a summer job on _Roseanne_ and Dan comes in and he’s all like, “I heard Hobby Lobby’s hiring” and Darlene’s all “Hobby Lobby? God, why don’t I just suck on a nail gun?” [/QUOTE] When I first heard of “Pottery Barn” on Friends, I assumed they’d made that name up, becauswe it was just too beige, vapid and meaningless to be true. It was obviously a joke, making fun of stores that sell that sort of crap. I was shocked to discover it actually existed. We have a Thai restaurant called “Funky Thai.” I’ll believe ANY name for a Thai restaurant or a hair salon, because they seem to try to attract attention with silly puns. The best business name I’ve ever seen was a sports store in Oakville that specialized in racquet sports equipment: “The Merchant of Tennis.” ---
**Author:** ![fishbicycle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2007, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/10 "2007-10-28T19:49:33Z")
Two Guys And A Truck, Inc. You see them all over the place. It’s not just two guys and a truck, it’s a company called that. Surely they could have come up with something better, eh? ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2007, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/11 "2007-10-28T19:54:27Z")
There is a restaurant in Dryden, NY where the sign says: Mr. Beef Hot and Fast Pick-Up Window Available You can’t tell me someone wasn’t having a good laugh when they came up with that one. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2007, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/12 "2007-10-28T19:57:33Z")
[Deathwish Piano Movers](http://www.deathwishpiano.com/) [Starving Artists Movers](http://www.starvingartistsmovers.com/) - actually, there are several of these around the country ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2007, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/13 "2007-10-28T20:09:33Z")
A British cable TV channel has recently relaunched itself as [Dave](http://uktv.co.uk/dave/homepage/sid/5002). Nothing else, just Dave. You know, the bloke, down the pub. Dave. ETA: there’s a hair salon in London that is called **It’ll Grow Back**. ---
**Author:** ![fishbicycle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2007, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/14 "2007-10-28T20:19:54Z")
[QUOTE=jjimm] Nothing else, just Dave. [/QUOTE] That’s like the current trend of radio stations called Bob FM or Dave FM or Hank FM, or somesuch fake name. It’s a format licensed from the broadcasting conglomerate who created it. ---
**Author:** ![Meyer6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@Meyer6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meyer6)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2007, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/15 "2007-10-28T21:16:15Z")
The other day I looked out of the window of the bus and saw a delivery truck for Flagstone Business Interiors. It doesn’t sound that weird, but look at their logo: [http://www.flagstoneoffice.com/](http://www.flagstoneoffice.com/) It really made me laugh, like they were the worst undercover cops in the world or something! It seems to me that the same joke was even used on the Simpsons, but I can’t remember what it stood for there. ---
**Author:** ![Winnipeg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ec9cab/32.png) [@Winnipeg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winnipeg)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2007, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/16 "2007-10-28T22:30:14Z")
[QUOTE=Sunspace] I’m always suspicious of places with generic names that don’t really mean anything, like “Applied Services Ltd”. It makes me wonder what they’re hiding. [/QUOTE] Universal Exports. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2007, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/17 "2007-10-28T23:04:22Z")
Anything beginning with “Acme”. Also, wasn’t there a Big Band/Jazz performer with the stage name Hobby Lobby, back in the 1940’s? ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/18 "2007-10-29T00:08:49Z")
> [@](#): > > Anything beginning with “Acme”. The town I grew up in had an Acme Market right downtown, and there was another at the closest shopping mall – both part of the same chain (of supermarkets). So when the Coyote started getting things from Acme\*, it didn’t bother me – it just seemed weird that our Acme never stocked rocket-powerede roller skates and giant magnets. \*Chuck Jones’ coyote was just carrying on a long-lived tradition of Warner Brothers characters ordering stuff from Acme. Have a look: > **[Spectrum.net](https://www.spectrum.net/?targetUrl=webmail3)** > > Sign in to your Spectrum account for the easiest way to view and pay your bill, watch TV, manage your account and more. ---
**Author:** ![Hypnagogic\_Jerk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hypnagogic_jerk/32/4252_2.png) [@Hypnagogic\_Jerk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypnagogic_Jerk)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/19 "2007-10-29T00:44:06Z")
[QUOTE=Meyer6] It really made me laugh, like they were the worst undercover cops in the world or something! It seems to me that the same joke was even used on the Simpsons, but I can’t remember what it stood for there. [/QUOTE] Flowers By Irene ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/20 "2007-10-29T00:55:33Z")
[QUOTE=Green Bean] What about those law-firm-type names where one of the names just doesn’t “go” with the others, like Winthrop, Smythe, Belvedere, and Yablonsky? Those always sound like joke names to me! [/QUOTE] Speaking of law firms, I thought someone was playing a joke on me the first time I was told to reach the website of the esteemed Morrison & Foerster firm by navigating to [Mofo.com](http://www.mofo.com). At least someone there, presumably in the IT department, has a great sense of humor. 🙂 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354.md?page=2)