# Business names that sound completely fake **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 28, 2007, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354 "2007-10-28T18:19:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Shecky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/85e7bf/32.png) [@Shecky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shecky)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/41 "2007-10-29T12:51:31Z")
I worked for a company called Applied Designs once. Strangely, it was a souvenir wholesaler. There was also the student exchange service FIC Conosco, which sounds like Stay With Us in Portuguese. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/42 "2007-10-29T13:13:17Z")
Well, I don’t know how fake it is, because you can’t fake something this bad… **Dress Barn Woman** …which invariably leads me to think of that Spnal Tap nugget, \*Sex Farm \* : \*Sex farm woman, I’ll be your hired hand Sex farm woman, I’ll let my offer stand Sex farm woman, don’t you hear my tractor rumbling by? Working on a sex farm Trying to raise some hard love Getting out my pitch fork Poking your hay\* :smack: They just _have_ to know… ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/43 "2007-10-29T13:22:10Z")
In Bluffton (near Hilton Head) there is a little place called **Squat & Gobble**. I couldn’t believe anyone would name a restaurant such an unappetizing name. Trying to find their website, I stumbled across a whole [chain](http://squat-n-gobble.com/default.htm) (apparently not related to the one I saw). ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/44 "2007-10-29T13:32:45Z")
I still find it just a little hard to believe that there is an actual porn magazine named “Juggs.” For that matter, you could probably make up a list of joke porno movie titles and intersperse them with titles that had been used for actual porno movies, and it would be extremely hard [heh heh] to tell the difference. ---
**Author:** ![Sapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Sapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapo)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/45 "2007-10-29T13:40:52Z")
[QUOTE=vetbridge] In Bluffton (near Hilton Head) there is a little place called **Squat & Gobble**. I couldn’t believe anyone would name a restaurant such an unappetizing name. Trying to find their website, I stumbled across a whole [chain](http://squat-n-gobble.com/default.htm) (apparently not related to the one I saw). [/QUOTE] Squat & Gobble is ok. Gobble and Squat would be worse. (oh, and Taco Miendo is just too funny) ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/46 "2007-10-29T13:51:37Z")
I’ve always thought “Costco” and “Petco” were weird names (and now “ShopKo” too). Until we got one in our neighborhood, I always assumed Petco was the boring, bland, warehouse version of Petsmart, because Petsmart put a lot of thought into their name and Petco did not. Turns out they’re basically the same store. ---
**Author:** ![cornflakes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@cornflakes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cornflakes)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/47 "2007-10-29T13:53:16Z")
[QUOTE=Sunspace] I’m always suspicious of places with generic names that don’t really mean anything, like “Applied Services Ltd”. It makes me wonder what they’re hiding. [/QUOTE] How about [Applied Materials](http://www.appliedmaterials.com/), the largest manufacturer of the machines that make computer chips. They’re the big guys in the business, but to anyone not in the business, they might as well be Acme BlahWhatever, the leading blahblah in blahblah of blahblahs for the blahblah industry. ---
**Author:** ![fiddlesticks](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fiddlesticks/32/18129_2.png) [@fiddlesticks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fiddlesticks)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/48 "2007-10-29T14:07:51Z")
[Fifth Third Bank](http://www.53.com/) sounds like a joke name to me. I’m half disappointed the FAQ on their homepage doesn’t explain their name. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![fachverwirrt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/94ad74/32.png) [@fachverwirrt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fachverwirrt)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/49 "2007-10-29T14:12:34Z")
[QUOTE=Telemark] [Starving Artists Movers](http://www.starvingartistsmovers.com/) - actually, there are several of these around the country [/QUOTE] When I was working as an office gopher one summer, I had to buy some boxes. I called up Starving Artist to make sure they sold boxes; they said yes, so off I went. When I got to their published address, the only sign of them was a locked door in the back with their name stenciled in. I’m still convinced they’re just a mafia front. (I’m not, really. I just assume that they had a main store address and a more “industrial” address where they keep the trucks and supplies an whatnot. I just went to the wrong address. It was still slightly surreal.) ---
**Author:** ![Renee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/renee/32/287_2.png) [@Renee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Renee)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/50 "2007-10-29T14:16:29Z")
This is Japan, so I don’t know if it counts, but there is a coffee shop in the mall here called Balz. I know it’s juvenile, but it cracks me up. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/51 "2007-10-29T14:29:23Z")
[QUOTE=fiddlesticks] [Fifth Third Bank](http://www.53.com/) sounds like a joke name to me. I’m half disappointed the FAQ on their homepage doesn’t explain their name. 😃 [/QUOTE] It’s in the About Fifth Third \> Our History section. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/52 "2007-10-29T14:42:28Z")
[QUOTE=fiddlesticks] [Fifth Third Bank](http://www.53.com/) sounds like a joke name to me. I’m half disappointed the FAQ on their homepage doesn’t explain their name. 😃 [/QUOTE] It’s an improper fraction. It’s actually called 1 2/3 Bank. The story behind the name is that the Fifth National Bank and Third National Bank merged together in 1908 to make the Fifth Third Bank of Cincinatti. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/53 "2007-10-29T14:58:13Z")
**General Atomics** sounds like something made up as an analogue to General Electric, but it’s a real, still-functioning company, founded in 1955: > **[Welcome to General Atomics](https://www.ga.com/index.php)** > > General Atomics, based in San Diego, CA, develops advanced technology solutions for government and commercial applications. Privately owned and vertically integrated, we have the freedom to invest in the most innovative technologies, and the... Robert Heinlein DID use the name “General Atomics” as a company in some pre-1955 fiction: [http://www.heinleinsociety.org/concordance/G\_HC.htm](http://www.heinleinsociety.org/concordance/G_HC.htm) He used it in later fiction, too, after it had become a real company (there’s a suggestion that the name was used as the name of a real division before 1955, BTW) ---
**Author:** ![Lionne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Lionne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lionne)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/54 "2007-10-29T14:58:28Z")
[Tri-city Bolt & Screw](http://www.tricitybolt.com/) Sounds like the perfect location for a porno shoot. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/55 "2007-10-29T15:39:42Z")
Well, since moving companies are on the table, how about having all your stuff tied up with [S&M Moving Systems](http://www.smmoving.com/netweb/). My office used them the last time we relocated. You’ve never seen so many professionals use so much juvenile humor (outside of the Dope, anyway). ---
**Author:** ![BwanaBob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bwanabob/32/2985_2.png) [@BwanaBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BwanaBob)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/56 "2007-10-29T17:35:09Z")
[QUOTE=Millit the Frail] Akin to Pottery Barn, I think Dress Barn sounds fake. Dress? Barn? Just sounds weird. And “The Container Store.” Do we really need such a specialized store? Doesn’t it sell other things too? I don’t know, never been there. It’s a mystery. Houlihan’s cracks me up. Some friends and I were looking to get drinks one night, while rising the subway to Atlantic Center. It was raining and I didn’t want to go far. Me: “Isn’t there a Bennigan’s in Atlantic Center?” Friend (bitterly): “No, it’s a _Houlihan’s_. The _cut-rate_ Bennigan’s.” The way he said it was hilarious. And since then, Houlihan’s does seem like kind of a stupid name. [/QUOTE] Bennigan’s - the cut-rate TGIF. This could go on and on. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Sapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Sapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapo)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/57 "2007-10-29T18:05:50Z")
[QUOTE=Lionne] [Tri-city Bolt & Screw](http://www.tricitybolt.com/) Sounds like the perfect location for a porno shoot. [/QUOTE] 🙂 It’s not their fault that your mind is in the gutter. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/58 "2007-10-29T18:08:09Z")
[QUOTE=vetbridge] In Bluffton (near Hilton Head) there is a little place called **Squat & Gobble**. [/QUOTE] It could be worse. It could be Snarf 'n Barf. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/59 "2007-10-29T18:21:24Z")
There is a company here in Seattle that apparently does some sort of electronics manufacturing, named “T & A.” I’m not entirely certain what they do, and I’m not about to find out, because good luck googling “T & A.” [QUOTE=vetbridge] In Bluffton (near Hilton Head) there is a little place called **Squat & Gobble**. I couldn’t believe anyone would name a restaurant such an unappetizing name. Trying to find their website, I stumbled across a whole [chain](http://squat-n-gobble.com/default.htm) (apparently not related to the one I saw). [/QUOTE] Why is the turkey humping the G? ---
**Author:** ![Autumn\_Almanac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d26b3c/32.png) [@Autumn\_Almanac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autumn_Almanac)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/60 "2007-10-29T18:36:04Z")
[QUOTE=Sunspace] I’m always suspicious of places with generic names that don’t really mean anything, like “Applied Services Ltd”. It makes me wonder what they’re hiding. [/QUOTE] I seem to recall a fake company from some movie or show called “Amalgamated Products, Inc.” I googled it, but instead of figuring out what movie it was from, I found a real company by that name. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354.md?page=4)