# Business names that sound completely fake **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 28, 2007, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354 "2007-10-28T18:19:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Cemetery\_Savior](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/439d5e/32.png) [@Cemetery\_Savior](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cemetery_Savior)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/61 "2007-10-29T18:46:11Z")
[QUOTE=fiddlesticks] [Fifth Third Bank](http://www.53.com/) sounds like a joke name to me. I’m half disappointed the FAQ on their homepage doesn’t explain their name. 😃 [/QUOTE] In my last job, they were a client of mine. As I was driving to their offices from the airport, I saw that the avenues were numbered (i.e. 1st street, 2nd street, etc.). I thought I had it figured out at that point. The corporate headquarters was NOT at an interection of 5th-something and 3rd-something. There is no intersection like that. There never has been. I don’t know if it’s the past Mathlete in me, but I always referred to it as “One and Two Thirds” in our home offices. No-one laughed. -Cem -Cem ---
**Author:** ![Omega\_Glory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/7c8e57/32.png) [@Omega\_Glory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omega_Glory)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/62 "2007-10-29T18:48:26Z")
I don’t know if they have these in other areas, but there’s a furniture store around here called Unclaimed Freight. It just sounds shady. ---
**Author:** ![Merkwurdigliebe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/74df32/32.png) [@Merkwurdigliebe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merkwurdigliebe)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/63 "2007-10-29T20:11:20Z")
I saw this in Denmark, so it isn’t exactly fair as they are wont to use English names and sometimes they use them a bit clumsily (not very often though). I used to ride by some business called “People Group” every day. I have no idea what the hell they do, but I found it hilariously vague. It sounds like something you’d make up on the spot. I always kinda figured it was some sort of recruitment agency like ManPower. The webisite is peoplegroup.dk ---
**Author:** ![Autumn\_Almanac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d26b3c/32.png) [@Autumn\_Almanac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autumn_Almanac)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/64 "2007-10-29T20:34:14Z")
[QUOTE=Merkwurdigliebe] I used to ride by some business called “People Group” every day. I have no idea what the hell they do, but I found it hilariously vague. It sounds like something you’d make up on the spot. [/QUOTE] Like George Costanza’s charity “The Human Fund.” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![fachverwirrt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/94ad74/32.png) [@fachverwirrt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fachverwirrt)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/65 "2007-10-29T20:34:48Z")
There’s a chain of gas stations/convenience stores in western Missouri called “Kum & Go”. One of my friends refers to it as “ejaculate and evacuate”. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/66 "2007-10-29T20:37:49Z")
Here is Massachusetts there used to be (still is?) an oil company called **Gibbs Energy**. But it wasn’t Free. ---
**Author:** ![Ferd\_Burfel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecccb3/32.png) [@Ferd\_Burfel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferd_Burfel)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/67 "2007-10-29T21:18:21Z")
When the company I worked for first got a computer with a CD-ROM (1995-ish), the optical drive came with a CD version of a telephone directory. We used to play with it searching for unusual names…such as “Jesus Christ” (who, if I recall, lived in southern California). One time, on a search for “klutz” we found a listing for **“Klutz Well Drilling”** Now, it seemed to me that even if it was a fine and established surname, I’d have thought twice about using it in the name of my company. I just did a google search and although they don’t have a web site, apparently, they still exist. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/68 "2007-10-29T21:24:36Z")
Here’s a list of supposed Front Companies for the CIA. It reads like a Who’s Who of Business Names That Sound Completely Fake… [CIA Front Companies](http://www.jar2.com/2/Intel/CIA/CIA%20Fronts.htm) ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/69 "2007-10-29T21:56:05Z")
There is an actual hemorrhoid medication called “Anusol.” A _marketing group_ came up with that. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/70 "2007-10-29T22:48:54Z")
[QUOTE=Zabali\_Clawbane] Would you mean [Holly](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holly_Hobbie) [Hobbie](http://www.hollyhobbieclassic.com/HollyHobbieClassic/index.jsp)? [/QUOTE] No. Music. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2007, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/71 "2007-10-29T23:05:57Z")
There’s a business front around here that simply says “Apps” on the front and nothing else. There’s one in downtown Milwaukee that I’m absolutly convinced is hiding something, but all it says is “International Imports.” ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2007, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/72 "2007-10-30T00:00:32Z")
Makers of high end electrical /electronic test equipment. **Fluke.** I always thought they should use the following as an ad line: If you get the right reading it’s a Fluke. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Lionne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Lionne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lionne)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2007, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/73 "2007-10-30T00:13:56Z")
Oh, how could I forget the \*\*Pump N Pantry \*\* on Rte. 2 going into Boston? That was a highlight of our drive to the city! ---
**Author:** ![Sine\_Nomine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sine_nomine/32/513_2.png) [@Sine\_Nomine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sine_Nomine)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2007, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/74 "2007-10-30T00:21:16Z")
I always thought [National American University](http://www.national.edu/) sounded like a joke. “Hey, we’re not just the U of [state], we’re National!.. _and_ American!” (I sincerely apologize for the earworm for anyone who has seen their commercials.) ---
**Author:** ![TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/51bf81/32.png) [@TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2007, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/75 "2007-10-30T08:18:17Z")
I just remembered that there’s a property management company that owns buildings in my neighborhood called “Capital Investments.” ---
**Author:** ![KGS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/90ced4/32.png) [@KGS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KGS)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2007, 8:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/76 "2007-10-30T08:39:18Z")
[QUOTE=Sunspace] I’m always suspicious of places with generic names that don’t really mean anything, like “Applied Services Ltd”. It makes me wonder what they’re hiding. [/QUOTE] 'Round these parts, it would probably be the name of a marijuana clinic. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2007, 9:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/77 "2007-10-30T09:08:38Z")
Well, it’s not really what the OP was looking for, but it fits what everyone else is coming up with: [Holy Sheet!](http://www.holysheet.com.au/) ---
**Author:** ![Ichbin\_Dubist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/51bf81/32.png) [@Ichbin\_Dubist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ichbin_Dubist)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2007, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/78 "2007-10-30T13:45:31Z")
[www.boring.com](http://www.boring.com) is the home of Boring Business Systems. You’d think they’d have a bit of a sense of humor about it. They don’t. I was surprised to read in a recent thread here that Hotblack Desiato is the name of a London realty, and that the name was not borrowed from Douglas Adams but vice-versa. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2007, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/79 "2007-10-30T14:03:53Z")
[QUOTE=Ludovic] 😕 I only ate at a Houlihan’s once but it struck me as a _less_ cut-rate Bennigan’s: the stuff seemed fresher, tastier, and classier selections, and the decor was definitely classier. [/QUOTE] I agree. Houlihan’s:Bennigan’s::Outback:Sizzler - none of it is four star cuisine, but one is definitely a rank above the other. I enjoy going to Houlihan’s (try their baked potato soup: OMG!) and Outback, I endure Bennigan’s and avoid Sizzler (are there even Sizzlers in Illinois anymore?) ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2007, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354/80 "2007-10-30T14:08:32Z")
Head to a gentrifying neighborhood, and take a look at the names of the Irish-themed bars. Many seem … well, fake, in a television sitcom “Let’s go to [name of bar]” kind of way. Here’s some bar names in Chicago’s Lincoln Park neighborhood: Johnny O’Hagan’s Gunther Murphy’s Harp and Shamrock Peg Leg Sullivan’s Not many of the “P.J. O’Flanigan’s” or “J.P. O’Murphy’s” type names, but still, the names sound ideal for sitcoms. _Linens N’ Things_ sounds fake to my ears because it seems like a name that is like the kind some Jean Teasdale-type would apply to her small-town kountry kitschy business; imagine Beads n’ Things, Cards n’ Things, Gifts n’ Things, Scrapbook Supplies n’ Things, and the like. I also see a lot of kitschy small town businesses named [something] 'n Stuff. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-sound-completely-fake/424354.md?page=5)