# Business names that thoroughly irritate you for no valid reason **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 1, 2016, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673 "2016-09-01T17:41:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![Sassy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@Sassy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sassy)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2016, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/241 "2016-09-19T16:50:47Z")
[Squat & Gobble](http://squatandgobble.com/) I will not… ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2016, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/242 "2016-09-19T17:02:36Z")
> [@Sassy](#): > > [Squat & Gobble](http://squatandgobble.com/) > > I will not… Shouldn’t that be the other way around? ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2016, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/243 "2016-09-19T17:46:53Z")
> [@Sassy](#): > > [Squat & Gobble](http://squatandgobble.com/) > > I will not… Do they have cobbler? ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2016, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/244 "2016-09-19T18:42:09Z")
Speaking of Gobblers, check this out: [LILEKS (James) :: the Gobbler](http://www.lileks.com/institute/motel/index.html) And even better, see this: [http://gobblersknob.us/](http://gobblersknob.us/). Whatever connotations “Gobbler’s knob” has for you, I bet fun for the kids ain’t it. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2016, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/245 "2016-09-19T19:40:09Z")
I have a general peeve about business names that try to blend foreign language words with English, especially if it’s done ungrammatically/nonsensically. French seems to be the most commonly mangled language in this regard, I suppose because it makes everything sound so goddamned classy. There was a (now defunct) restaurant called “Seasons de Provence” that I thought was actually quite good, but I just couldn’t accept that it wasn’t called “Saisons de Provence” or at least “Seasons of (or in) Provence.” I realize now that it was probably out of practicality, since everybody would pronounce “saisons” like “seasons” anyway, or if they were a bit more refined and worldly-wise, “sayzuns.” Yes, I know I sound like a pretentious ass. But seriously, what can you say about an abomination like [this](http://i.imgur.com/OLOKUju.jpg)? ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2016, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/246 "2016-09-20T03:42:21Z")
> [@Waltzes\_with\_Cacti](#): > > I saw one yesterday that annoyed me. Driving north on Route 3 in Massachusetts, I passed a tech firm that has the effrontery to call itself “iRobot.” You can only hope the proprietors are paying a royalty to the Asimov estate. Or the Alan Parsons Project. Which reminds me - I find band names made up of a band member’s name annoying too, with one exception. In the mid 1980s, there was a hair band that had a couple of hits named Farren Heit. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2016, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/247 "2016-09-20T19:45:43Z")
Sometimes I drive past a local bar with a highly creative name. Bar. That’s it. Bar. must’ve spent hours coming up with that one. A mile or two down the road from Bar used to be a church. It’s name? Church. It’s no longer there. The building sat vacant for a while but reopened in the last year or two with an actual name. ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2016, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/248 "2016-09-20T21:14:51Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > Or the Alan Parsons Project. > > Which reminds me - I find band names made up of a band member’s name annoying too, with one exception. In the mid 1980s, there was a hair band that had a couple of hits named Farren Heit. 😛 What about Slaughter, the hair band fronted by Mark Slaughter? That’s actually his real name! ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2016, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/249 "2016-09-20T21:20:16Z")
> [@TBG](#): > > Sometimes I drive past a local bar with a highly creative name. Bar. That’s it. Bar. must’ve spent hours coming up with that one. > > A mile or two down the road from Bar used to be a church. It’s name? Church. It’s no longer there. The building sat vacant for a while but reopened in the last year or two with an actual name. :rolleyes: This has a mailing address in Lake Linden, Michigan. [http://thegaybar.com/](http://thegaybar.com/) ETA: Maybe the owners or “Bar” or “Church” were fans of Public Image, Ltd.? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![67java89](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/aeb1de/32.png) [@67java89](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/67java89)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2016, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/250 "2016-09-21T00:03:25Z")
> [@adhemar](#): > > Not really annoying so much as “what were they thinking” A religious store (or a storefront church) in my town called “Ram in the Bush.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![JohnGalt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johngalt/32/184_2.png) [@JohnGalt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnGalt)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2016, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/251 "2016-09-21T16:22:31Z")
There’s a local lawn care service called “Leap of Faith”. What does that even mean? Is it because you’re wondering if they’re going to show up? Nope, they have a cross in their logo. Aiming for some specific demographic I guess. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2016, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/252 "2016-09-21T17:38:58Z")
> [@Catamount](#): > > There’s a restaurant in my town called “Tomato Jam Cafe.” I also hate tomatoes so I won’t be darkening their doorstep. A few years ago I drove past a restaurant on Cape Cod called “The Angry Tomato”. Not surprisingly, it had closed. Who wants to eat at a place with pissed-off vegetables? > [@TBG](#): > > ``` > Sometimes I drive past a local bar with a highly creative name. Bar. That's it. Bar. must've spent hours coming up with that one. > > ``` When I lived in Sioux Falls, I was never tempted to stop in for a cocktail at the Crow Bar. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2016, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/253 "2016-09-21T17:58:24Z")
> [@JohnGalt](#): > > There’s a local lawn care service called “Leap of Faith”. What does that even mean? Is it because you’re wondering if they’re going to show up? > > Nope, they have a cross in their logo. Aiming for some specific demographic I guess. A buddy of mine had a lawn service company for years (he retired) called “All Green Lawn Care”. I photoshopped his truck logo, removing one “l” and replacing the drawing of lawn mowers with a picture of Al Green. He rejected my idea. ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2016, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/254 "2016-09-21T19:07:56Z")
This is real local, but when I was looking for day care for my kid, there was a place that called itself “Yours and Our Little Loves.” I didn’t even consider this place because I thought this name was (a) creepy and (b) ungrammatical. Well it is undeniably ungrammatical, not just me thinking that. It’s still in business, nearly 20 years later. I also have a thing about any business with “Enterprise” in the name. This is because in my youth I worked in a strip club and our paychecks said we worked for “Hart Enterprises” so anything with either of those words is immediately suspect. ---
**Author:** ![JcWoman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jcwoman/32/2889_2.png) [@JcWoman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JcWoman)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2016, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/255 "2016-09-21T20:12:25Z")
> [@JohnGalt](#): > > There’s a local lawn care service called “Leap of Faith”. What does that even mean? Is it because you’re wondering if they’re going to show up? > > Nope, they have a cross in their logo. Aiming for some specific demographic I guess. It tells me that their faith is more important than any supposed lawn care they do. I wouldn’t hire them. Along similar lines some years ago I encountered a company (used in a home reno job) called Counter Intelligence. They did countertops. At first I thought it was a clever name… then they screwed up our order and the OTHER meaning came to mind. There’s another company near here called Intelligent Decisions. First, it doesn’t tell you what they do (I looked it up; they do logisics). Second, see my lesson learned above. Any time you include the word Intelligence in your name you have to keep in mind what it says to people when you make mistakes. Everybody makes mistakes, but you don’t want them to be a memorable part of your branding like that. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2016, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/256 "2016-09-21T21:56:26Z")
> [@JcWoman](#): > > > [@JohnGalt](#): > > > > There’s a local lawn care service called “Leap of Faith”. What does that even mean? Is it because you’re wondering if they’re going to show up? > > > > Nope, they have a cross in their logo. Aiming for some specific demographic I guess. > > It tells me that their faith is more important than any supposed lawn care they do. I wouldn’t hire them. > … Agree with your thoughts. My other idea was that maybe the owner was referring to his business plan when he started out. But still mostly hoping to appeal to the Christian Chauvinist crowd. I saw a scary amount of that during my 20 years living in the Midwest. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2016, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/257 "2016-09-21T23:06:57Z")
You want lawn care? [_ **This** _ is lawn care](https://tarzanaismyheroine.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/20121128-170507.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2016, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/258 "2016-09-22T00:16:21Z")
> [@eschereal](#): > > You want lawn care? [_ **This** _ is lawn care](https://tarzanaismyheroine.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/20121128-170507.jpg). That’s almost as good as [Dirty Hoe Landscaping](https://www.facebook.com/DirtyHoeAsheville/). ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Krupe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@Leo\_Krupe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Krupe)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2016, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/259 "2016-09-22T00:25:31Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > A few years ago I drove past a restaurant on Cape Cod called “The Angry Tomato”. Not surprisingly, it had closed. Who wants to eat at a place with pissed-off vegetables? At least it wasn’t the “Killer Tomato”! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2016, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/260 "2016-09-22T05:19:33Z")
> [@JohnGalt](#): > > There’s a local lawn care service called “Leap of Faith”. What does that even mean? Is it because you’re wondering if they’re going to show up? > > Nope, they have a cross in their logo. Aiming for some specific demographic I guess. I’m Christian, and I refuse to patronize any business that touts the owners’ religious beliefs in this way, unless it’s relevant to the business. There’s an oil change place down the road from me that puts Bible verses on their marquee, and I don’t go there either. It’s a sign to me that they’re hiding dishonesty behind a cross. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673.md?page=14)