# Business names that thoroughly irritate you for no valid reason **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 1, 2016, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673 "2016-09-01T17:41:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 14
**Author:** ![velomont](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/8491ac/32.png) [@velomont](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/velomont)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2016, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/261 "2016-09-23T01:18:48Z")
In Canada, there is the Canadian Imperial Bank of Commerce (CIBC), which displays on its signs “CIBC Banking Centre”. The use of “Banking Centre” instead of “Bank” just strikes me as so much arrogant, corporate BS. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2016, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/262 "2016-09-23T01:53:54Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > A few years ago I drove past a restaurant on Cape Cod called “The Angry Tomato”. Not surprisingly, it had closed. Who wants to eat at a place with pissed-off vegetables? Must have been one of those GMO tomatoes. It’s still preferable to “The Homicidal Chef”, though. 🙂 Post #2 about “Best Buy” pretty much nails the general principle of the most annoying names. I don’t mind if they try to be creative and fail – at least they’re trying. But it’s names like “Best …” or “Expert …” that really piss me off because of that unique combination of being simultaneously unimaginative and utterly meaningless. I always mentally translate them into the opposite variant that has a much higher probability of being true: “Worst Buy” “Incompetent Plumbing, Inc.” “Careless Movers” “Completely Outdated Home Heating and Air Conditioning” “Overpriced Car & Truck Rentals” etc. I figure if a store or service has successfully achieved the ability to offer the best quality and lowest prices, the greatest expertise, or the most careful services, their first step would have been to apply these awesome talents to their own damn name. ---
**Author:** ![Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulf_the_Unwashed)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2016, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/263 "2016-09-23T02:57:13Z")
> [@velomont](#): > > In Canada, there is the Canadian Imperial Bank of Commerce (CIBC), which displays on its signs “CIBC Banking Centre”. The use of “Banking Centre” instead of “Bank” just strikes me as so much arrogant, corporate BS. Interesting. The word that leaped out at me in that name was “Imperial” rather than “banking center,” speaking of arrogance… ---
**Author:** ![erysichthon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d07c76/32.png) [@erysichthon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erysichthon)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2016, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/264 "2016-09-23T05:02:11Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > Personally, hairdresser shop names are typically the ones that are most likely to annoy me (and not just because I’m bald). from bad puns like ‘Curl Up And Dye’ to bad idioms like ‘A Cut Above The Rest’. Ugh. There’s a hair salon in Chicago called “I’ll Cut You.” I always thought that was pushing the joke just a little too far. ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2016, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/265 "2016-09-23T13:11:50Z")
Toys"Я"Us ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2016, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/266 "2016-09-23T13:14:20Z")
> [@foolsguinea](#): > > Toys"Я"Us Kids menus that have “pisketti”. Thankfully that only started to be widespread by the time I was 12 and thus aging out of kids menus, or I would have found that patronizing. ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2016, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/267 "2016-09-23T13:44:50Z")
“ **The** Home Depot” gets my vote, ‘Home Depot’ - fine - even great, but adding the ‘The’ just is arrogant and wrong. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2016, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/268 "2016-09-23T15:14:57Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > Kids menus that have “pisketti”. Thankfully that only started to be widespread by the time I was 12 and thus aging out of kids menus, or I would have found that patronizing. Ever since I watched the documentary _[What We Do In The Shadows](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6TggqanpFI)_, I’ve gone out of my way to pronounce spaghetti “bisgetti”. When I did this at a local Italian restaurant, the waitress got the reference and responded in kind. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![chrisk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@chrisk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chrisk)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2016, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/269 "2016-09-23T15:25:11Z")
I see trucks on the road every so often for a transport company called Fluke. “If it’s on time, it’s a Fluke.” I can appreciate the wordplay, but still that slogan bugs me… mostly because without the pun of the name, they’re saying “It’s unlikely we’ll arrive on time.” ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2016, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/270 "2016-09-23T17:25:14Z")
Not so much a name, but any business with the slogan "No one does it better!’. You mean I can leave it undone and that would be better than calling you? Thanks for the head’s up. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2016, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/271 "2016-09-28T12:30:29Z")
Yes, I want to buy all my beverages at a liquor store called, “[The Bunghole](http://www.whosay.com/status/jimgaffigan/1236449?wsref=fb&code=oBQc0o6)”. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2016, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/272 "2016-09-29T06:49:01Z")
Driving down the long, lonely highway, I came up with a new business plan (because the CD player was on the fritz, so I was alone with my thoughts). A retailer specializing in > [@](#): > > Bureaus, wardrobes, > Closet organizers, > Backpacks, luggage and > Luggage organizers, > Canisters, crates, jars > Tupperware, and > _other_ fine plastics > Welcome To > Store-gasm > come inside Gotta fix that CD player for the long drive home. ---
**Author:** ![jerseymule](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jerseymule/32/3155_2.png) [@jerseymule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jerseymule)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2016, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/273 "2016-09-29T16:43:22Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > \ > > Post #2 about “Best Buy” pretty much nails the general principle of the most annoying names. I don’t mind if they try to be creative and fail – at least they’re trying. But it’s names like “Best …” or “Expert …” that really piss me off because of that unique combination of being simultaneously unimaginative and utterly meaningless. I always mentally translate them into the opposite variant that has a much higher probability of being true: > > “Worst Buy” > “Incompetent Plumbing, Inc.” > “Careless Movers” > “Completely Outdated Home Heating and Air Conditioning” > “Overpriced Car & Truck Rentals” > etc. > > I figure if a store or service has successfully achieved the ability to offer the best quality and lowest prices, the greatest expertise, or the most careful services, their first step would have been to apply these awesome talents to their own damn name. [Sanitary Dairy Foods Inc.](https://www.flickr.com/photos/mbk/2369539055/) always brings to my mind the thought of dairy products that have curdled, soured, or otherwise “gone off” through contamination with bacteria. I think all food products should be prepared under sanitary conditions. Having that word in the name causes me to consider the alternative. ---
**Author:** ![Soylent\_Juicy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@Soylent\_Juicy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soylent_Juicy)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2016, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/274 "2016-09-29T16:48:34Z")
> [@aktep](#): > > There’s an assisted living facility for seniors with Alzheimer’s and dementia called “Autumn Leaves”. > > It’s a very peaceful image, until you realize that it’s reminding us that _all the patients are about to die_. There’s a nursing home near my town called “Sunset Manor.” I remember when my mom first saw the sign for it when I was just a little kid - we were driving by and she goes “Sunset Manor…who the hell calls a nursing home ‘Sunset Manor’?! What, the residents go there for the “sunset of their lives”? I swear Juicy, don’t you ever put me in Sunset Manor.” From then on whenever my mom annoys me I tell her to stop or I’ll put her in Sunset Manor. ---
**Author:** ![Soylent\_Juicy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@Soylent\_Juicy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soylent_Juicy)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2016, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/275 "2016-09-29T16:54:43Z")
A daycare called “We’re Little People’s Too.” Literally hurts my brain. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2016, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/276 "2016-09-29T17:55:45Z")
That’s probably your meninges that you feel. The brain has no nocicepters to “feel” pain. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2016, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/277 "2016-09-30T12:44:56Z")
> [@RivkahChaya](#): > > Also, a place on Indy far East central, called D&C Pizza. “The secret is in the sauce.” ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2016, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/278 "2016-09-30T14:15:38Z")
I recall a mom & pop burrito stand near my high school. Their most slathered-up oversized offering was called the “miscarriage special”. I kid thee not. It was very popular with the HS boys. I know it was delicious. Not sure what the girls thought of it. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2016, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/279 "2016-09-30T16:17:43Z")
> [@Aeschines](#): > > “The secret is in the sauce.” I can’t decide if I want to laugh or skip breakfast. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2016, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/280 "2016-09-30T16:24:44Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > I recall a mom & pop burrito stand near my high school. Their most slathered-up oversized offering was called the “miscarriage special”. I kid thee not. It was very popular with the HS boys. I know it was delicious. Not sure what the girls thought of it. That is foul! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673.md?page=13) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673.md?page=15)