# Business names that thoroughly irritate you for no valid reason **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 1, 2016, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673 "2016-09-01T17:41:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Jennshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Jennshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennshark)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2016, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/81 "2016-09-03T00:06:37Z")
> [@Mister\_Rik](#): > > I don’t like businesses named for prominent, nearby geographical features, or the name of the city in which it’s located, because _everybody_ does it. The local phone book has page after page after page of businesses whose names start with “Columbia” (we’re on the Columbia River), “Cascade” (you can sorta see part of the Cascade mountain range from here), “Valley” (we’re, um, in a valley) and “Wenatchee” (the name of this city). Names like that just don’t require any thought or originality. > > For some of the older businesses that use the city name, I suspect that at some point in the past they were the only business in town that sold whatever they sell, and early on probably had a shingle out front that just said, “Hardware” or “Feed”. And here, anything _vaguely_ close to or associated with the town of Princeton/Princeton U works it into their company name. In the 1980s a friend’s mom owned a salon called “Curl up and Dye.” Cutesy in one way; ominous and threatening in another. A few years ago we saw a sign near Times Square that proclaimed: Hair Sandwiches Upon closer inspection we determined that there was a hair salon housed above a deli and the signs were, unfortunately, very close to one another. I lost the pic in the Great BlackBerry death of '16 (last week). ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2016, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/82 "2016-09-03T00:23:33Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Fifth Third was the result of a merger between Fifth National Bank and Third National Bank, both of Ohio. The good burghers of Ohio have never been marketing geniuses. And they were too decent to make either set of employees have to learn a new name. Besides, this way they could reuse most of their old signs after a little thrifty cut and pasting between them. 🙂[Fifth Third Bank - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fifth_Third_Bank) Could be worse. Could be the “Third fifth.” I know someone who lived in a place called “Highland Pointe.” There was nothing Scottish or French about it, and it wasn’t located on top of a hill or anything. There was no justification whatsoever for the name. There’s a preschool around here called La Petite Academy. It drives me nuts that they couldn’t commit and spell it “Académie.” ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2016, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/83 "2016-09-03T00:31:07Z")
> [@mind\_the\_gap](#): > > I’ve always been confused by “Dress Barn”. The stores are not barns, and neither do they sell dresses. Wait I’ve bought like 6 dresses there. What do they sell where you live? ---
**Author:** ![adhemar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@adhemar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/adhemar)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2016, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/84 "2016-09-03T00:47:03Z")
Not really annoying so much as “what were they thinking” A religious store (or a storefront church) in my town called “Ram in the Bush.” ---
**Author:** ![delphica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@delphica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delphica)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2016, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/85 "2016-09-03T01:14:23Z")
When I was pregnant, someone asked me if I was going to register at Buy Buy Baby, which I thought was a funny/wry nickname for Babies-R-Us, similar to how people call Whole Foods “Whole Paycheck.” Because obviously it’s mocking how people spend stupid money on junk babies don’t need. IT IS A REAL STORE. I feel like shopping there is like admitting you are throwing your money away on dumb crap. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2016, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/86 "2016-09-03T01:16:43Z")
> [@adhemar](#): > > Not really annoying so much as “what were they thinking” A religious store (or a storefront church) in my town called “Ram in the Bush.” They were thinking about the ram that showed up in the bush at the last minute so that Abraham didn’t have to sacrifice Isaac. Kind of an odd name for a bookstore, I agree. What? ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2016, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/87 "2016-09-03T01:17:50Z")
> [@delphica](#): > > When I was pregnant, someone asked me if I was going to register at Buy Buy Baby, which I thought was a funny/wry nickname for Babies-R-Us, similar to how people call Whole Foods “Whole Paycheck.” Because obviously it’s mocking how people spend stupid money on junk babies don’t need. > > IT IS A REAL STORE. I feel like shopping there is like admitting you are throwing your money away on dumb crap. Or worse, that you’re buying a baby. ---
**Author:** ![delphica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@delphica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delphica)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2016, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/88 "2016-09-03T01:20:59Z")
Ah, there is a light industry park near my house that houses a company called Flexovit. That’s all it says on the signs. Not even a tag line, such as Flexovit: Dental Solutions or anything that might give you a clue. After driving by it and being annoyed a million times, I googled it and learned they make industrial abrasives. I guess, well, it’s not like you’re going to stop somewhere and impulse purchase some industrial grade abrasives because you saw the sign, so the name/sign isn’t intended to advertise in any way. However it still sounds to me like some monolithic corporation in a futuristic dystopian novel, maybe everyone is employed by Flexovit but even the workers don’t know what Flexovit produces. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2016, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/89 "2016-09-03T01:30:45Z")
On the Nimitz Freeway in Oakland, there used to be a sign on the side of a big building that said “STOP CASTING POROSITY”. That was it. No company name. I kept wondering what was wrong about casting porosity and why it had to be stopped. ---
**Author:** ![drewder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/57b2e6/32.png) [@drewder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewder)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2016, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/90 "2016-09-03T01:44:42Z")
> [@teela\_brown](#): > > The pho joint across the street from my building. It’s called “Dac Phuc”. There’s no way I can name it without sounding like I’m cursing. You’re right they should go with iPho ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2016, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/91 "2016-09-03T02:10:23Z")
> [@Rick\_Kitchen](#): > > On the Nimitz Freeway in Oakland, there used to be a sign on the side of a big building that said “STOP CASTING POROSITY”. That was it. No company name. I kept wondering what was wrong about casting porosity and why it had to be stopped. I just Googled that phrase; the first link was to a Dope thread from 2003. Here’s the second link, which explains it: [http://ts.ylayali.com/2005/09/stop-casting-porosity.html](http://ts.ylayali.com/2005/09/stop-casting-porosity.html) ---
**Author:** ![yo\_han\_go](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yo_han_go/32/130_2.png) [@yo\_han\_go](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yo_han_go)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2016, 10:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/92 "2016-09-03T10:12:20Z")
Semi-anecdote here, also view from different angle. In 2001 I established private business. IT. I named it “mysurname . com” Hey it was not taken by that time. And I found it as funny trolling, since some future historian would gone baffled, what .com company survived y2000. OTOH. I could never make success with that name in Murrica, since my surname is in the ranking of Fu King, Da Phuc or Mi Dik Long variants. In my specific case, I’d guess you’d think I import and pimp up cars. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2016, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/93 "2016-09-03T10:50:22Z")
> [@Esox\_Lucius](#): > > I’ve seen a funeral home, part of a chain I think, called Mourning Glory. In my universe, cutesy puns and grief don’t belong together. I can imagine the funeral director greeting a bereaved client: “Good mourning. Get it? Ha ha ha.” Not quite the same, but there’s a large cemetery near me that has a row of shops across the road - one of the shops (now gone) used to be a greengrocer - the shop was called ‘The Melon Cauli’ Personally, hairdresser shop names are typically the ones that are most likely to annoy me (and not just because I’m bald). from bad puns like ‘Curl Up And Dye’ to bad idioms like ‘A Cut Above The Rest’. Ugh. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2016, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/94 "2016-09-03T13:35:38Z")
Yu Ken Cut It sounds like a landscaping business, right? No. It’s a janitorial and maintenance services company. Misspelled and misleading! ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2016, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/95 "2016-09-03T14:23:03Z")
> [@Rick\_Kitchen](#): > > On the Nimitz Freeway in Oakland, there used to be a sign on the side of a big building that said “STOP CASTING POROSITY”. That was it. No company name. I kept wondering what was wrong about casting porosity and why it had to be stopped. I’ve always felt the same way about modern-speak rail crossing signs that read STOP RR XING. I haven’t seen any out here, but in the west it seems to be a preferred form for both road and back-of-school-bus signs. I dunno what RR XINGing is, but it must be awful and I agree it should be stopped. ---
**Author:** ![DoggyDunnit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5fc32e/32.png) [@DoggyDunnit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoggyDunnit)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2016, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/96 "2016-09-03T15:04:52Z")
There’s a “car audio” shop on the east outskirts of town called “That Soundz Guud”. The combination of their product being the stereo systems the lowest common denominator loves and the name itself (including the spelling) has, does, and will always remind me of the demise of black culture. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2016, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/97 "2016-09-03T15:09:33Z")
> [@DoggyDunnit](#): > > There’s a “car audio” shop on the east outskirts of town called “That Soundz Guud”. It looks like a Lolcats spelling. ---
**Author:** ![DoggyDunnit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5fc32e/32.png) [@DoggyDunnit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoggyDunnit)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2016, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/98 "2016-09-03T15:22:42Z")
> [@RivkahChaya](#): > > It looks like a Lolcats spelling. Sure does, since the abomination that is “guud”/“gud” is in the large-and-growing category of “internet-age ghetto slang”, along with “bae”, “turnt”, “fucc”/“bacc” and other such “words” that strip my gears and make me feel dumber hearing used. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulf_the_Unwashed)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2016, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/99 "2016-09-03T20:12:43Z")
OP back again. I would imagine, as someone said, that “Thrift On By” is a play on “Drift On By,” only a) I am not familiar with “drift on by” as a common expression, certainly not common enough to make the connection obvious; and b) it seems like about the worst connection you could make if you want to keep a business running, since presumably you would like to have your customers stop rather than drifting (or thrifting) on by at 40 mph. Well, I expect they had _some_thing in mind. Lots of other good/bad business names in these other posts. Maybe in comparison to some of them “Thrift On By” isn’t quite as awful as I think. Dac Phuc, Mourning Glory, and Just Jeeps and More, along with a few others, are all pretty darn winceable. As for Fifth Third Bank, I’ll only say that they seem pretty successful despite the name, and that the mathematician in me always refers to them as Fifteenth. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2016, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/100 "2016-09-03T20:51:03Z")
> [@Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](#): > > As for Fifth Third Bank, I’ll only say that they seem pretty successful despite the name, and that the mathematician in me always refers to them as Fifteenth. Not One and Two Thirds Bank? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673.md?page=6)