# Business names that thoroughly irritate you for no valid reason **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 1, 2016, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673 "2016-09-01T17:41:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2016, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/161 "2016-09-05T01:23:43Z")
This town I used to live in in Southern California had a car repair shop called Hall and Associates. Its sign said Hall’n Ass. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2016, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/162 "2016-09-05T07:46:03Z")
> [@Rick\_Kitchen](#): > > There’s a local bank called Rabobank. Pronounced “rob a bank”. I happen to know some of their IT people, who for some reason (financial I assume) happen to be in Spain. Whenever someone asks “who do you work for” and they say “Rabobank” there is a moment of silence… wheels turning… and then once the subject has been carefully avoided, conversation continues. Rabo is Spanish slang for dick. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2016, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/163 "2016-09-05T12:38:44Z")
> [@Rick\_Kitchen](#): > > This town I used to live in in Southern California had a car repair shop called Hall and Associates. Its sign said Hall’n Ass. This irritates you? I think it’s clever and amusing. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Waltzes\_with\_Cacti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/90ced4/32.png) [@Waltzes\_with\_Cacti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waltzes_with_Cacti)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2016, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/164 "2016-09-05T22:58:58Z")
There used to be florist’s shop in the next town to mine called “Ka-BLOOM!” Dumb name. The supermarket in my town is “Roche Brothers.” When I first moved to town, a neighbor mentioned the store to me and I thought she was saying “Roach Brothers.” Yucch. ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2016, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/165 "2016-09-05T23:23:21Z")
Fractured Prune (donut shop) Piney Orchard (development name) GreenSky (financing) For Sale with Owner (I don’t know if they are still around. A company that helped people sell their homes without using a real estate agent) ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2016, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/166 "2016-09-05T23:33:25Z")
When I was selling my dad’s house, we came in one day and looked at the cards of all the realtors who had showed it. One of them identified the agent as “Rainy Tarpey”. Perhaps not a business name, as such, but also possibly not the name that the agent was born with. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2016, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/167 "2016-09-05T23:39:49Z")
> [@Waltzes\_with\_Cacti](#): > > … > The supermarket in my town is “Roche Brothers.” When I first moved to town, a neighbor mentioned the store to me and I thought she was saying “Roach Brothers.” Yucch. Where I used to live ours was Schnucks. [http://www.schnucks.com](http://www.schnucks.com). Properly pronounced like “schnooks”. They were / are a perfectly fine chain of mainstream grocery stores, and that was the founder’s legit last name. But I always thought it made them sound pretty untrustworthy. ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2016, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/168 "2016-09-06T00:40:20Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Where I used to live ours was Schnucks. [http://www.schnucks.com](http://www.schnucks.com). Properly pronounced like “schnooks”. They were / are a perfectly fine chain of mainstream grocery stores, and that was the founder’s legit last name. > > But I always thought it made them sound pretty untrustworthy. I grew up around Schnucks, and now I shop there most weeks. And I never made that connection. ::smack:: I did make the connection to schmucks, though. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2016, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/169 "2016-09-06T00:42:43Z")
How about boat names? I see a nice speedboat occasionally on the river named **Bugsy’s Toy**. The first time I saw the boat, I waved. He just stared at me as he motored by, a rare event on the river (_everyone_ waves). Maybe the sun was in his eyes and he didn’t see me wave. Maybe not, who cares. Ever since then, whenever I see the boat, I say, “Fuck you, Bugsy!” Always. I’ve told a few other boaters and it’s an in-joke now. Nobody says it loud enough for him to hear, but many say it, ritually. Fuck you, Bugsy!!! ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2016, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/170 "2016-09-06T01:02:46Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Where I used to live ours was Schnucks. [http://www.schnucks.com](http://www.schnucks.com). Properly pronounced like “schnooks”. They were / are a perfectly fine chain of mainstream grocery stores, and that was the founder’s legit last name. > > But I always thought it made them sound pretty untrustworthy. “Shnuck” or “schnuck,” if you prefer, or even “shnook,” it doesn’t matter, is the Yiddish would for someone who’s not very successful. A sort of born loser, who is a good mark for a grifter. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2016, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/171 "2016-09-06T01:35:29Z")
> [@Waltzes\_with\_Cacti](#): > > There used to be florist’s shop in the next town to mine called “Ka-BLOOM!” Dumb name. > > The supermarket in my town is “Roche Brothers.” When I first moved to town, a neighbor mentioned the store to me and I thought she was saying “Roach Brothers.” Yucch. That’s how the band [The Roches](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rbb5mSomdV8) pronounces their name. It’s a family name. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2016, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/172 "2016-09-06T02:01:14Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > How about boat names? > > I see a nice speedboat occasionally on the river named **Bugsy’s Toy**. > The first time I saw the boat, I waved. He just stared at me as he motored by, a rare event on the river (_everyone_ waves). Maybe the sun was in his eyes and he didn’t see me wave. Maybe not, who cares. > > Ever since then, whenever I see the boat, I say, “Fuck you, Bugsy!” Always. I’ve told a few other boaters and it’s an in-joke now. Nobody says it loud enough for him to hear, but many say it, ritually. > > Fuck you, Bugsy!!! Holy cow, didn’t you ever WATCH _The Sopranos_? Guys in boats with names like that, or **Stugotz II** , or whatever… you don’t wanna piss 'em off. ---
**Author:** ![Ellecram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellecram/32/18948_2.png) [@Ellecram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellecram)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2016, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/173 "2016-09-06T02:12:35Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > There is a thrift shop near here called **His Hem Thrift Shop**. I’m assuming it’s a church based business, as the “t”'s in thrift are ugly, stylized crosses. > > No idea _whose_ hem, why his _hem_ is important, or why a hem is part of the thrift shop experience. > > I initially assumed the crudely hand-lettered sign was a typo (and tried to decode it), but it’s been there for years. I live near the location. I have a habit of hunting down obscure local thrift shops which are generally much cheaper than the Goodwill and Salvation Army branded items. The HEM in this name actually stands for Hands Extended Ministries. Probably also refers to Jesus’ garment hem as mentioned by Ulf. Poorly executed nomenclature. Who needs to put this much thought in naming a store that sells used goods? ---
**Author:** ![robby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robby/32/11048_2.png) [@robby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robby)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2016, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/174 "2016-09-06T03:19:39Z")
For some reason, [Advance Auto Parts](http://shop.advanceautoparts.com/home) always rubs me the wrong way…probably because it seems like it should be **_Advanced_ Auto Parts** , in my mind. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2016, 9:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/175 "2016-09-06T09:24:37Z")
What’s the deal with all those business listings on page 1 of the White Pages? A A AA AA AAAA AA-AAA AAAAAA AAA-AAAA It conveys no intelligible information about businesses. Instead it’s like a room of dying people groaning and gasping in their final agonies. (Do they still do that? I haven’t even looked at a dead-tree phone book in the past two decades.) ---
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2016, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/176 "2016-09-06T11:10:42Z")
Near where I shop (in Springfield, OH) is a **Five Guys Burgers & Fries**. So, does that mean the company was started by five guys? So clever! :rolleyes: Suffice to say, I’ve never been there. Other company names I hate: **Aldi**. It just sounds pretentious. **Quiznos**. Sounds like a board game or puzzle toy. At least “Subway” makes sense. **Bed Bath & Beyond**. There’s a comedian who does a bit on BB&B. Forget his name, but he was spot on. There’s a **BJ’s Restaurant & Brewhouse** in Beavercreek, OH. Hey, I like a BJ just as much as the next guy, but come on… There’s a Hair Salon in New Carlisle, OH called **Born To Be Styled**. Cute, but ugh. ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2016, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/177 "2016-09-06T12:26:06Z")
> [@Johanna](#): > > What’s the deal with all those business listings on page 1 of the White Pages? > > A > A > AA > AA > AAAA > AA-AAA > AAAAAA > AAA-AAAA > > It conveys no intelligible information about businesses. Instead it’s like a room of dying people groaning and gasping in their final agonies. They’re just attempting to be the first entry in the book. > [@Crafter\_Man](#): > > Near where I shop (in Springfield, OH) is a **Five Guys Burgers & Fries**. So, does that mean the company was started by five guys? So clever! :rolleyes: Suffice to say, I’ve never been there. Five Guys was founded in 1986 by Janie and Jerry Murrell; Jerry and the couple’s sons, Jim, Matt, Chad, and Ben, were the original “Five Guys.” They make a good burger. It’s not the greatest burger _EVAR_ that some may tell you it is, but it’s definitely a notch or two above most other similar places. And they are extremely generous, to a fault IMO, with the fries. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2016, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/178 "2016-09-06T13:22:03Z")
Kumho tires. Yes, I know it is supposed to be pronounced with a long “U” sound. I don’t. Ever. ---
**Author:** ![Renee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/renee/32/287_2.png) [@Renee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Renee)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2016, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/179 "2016-09-06T14:13:57Z")
> [@Crafter\_Man](#): > > **Aldi**. It just sounds pretentious. Ha. Aldi is the opposite of pretentious. They’re SUPER cheap. It’s all their own house brand, which is good quality. You should check it out. ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2016, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673/180 "2016-09-06T14:31:21Z")
> [@Crafter\_Man](#): > > **Quiznos**. Sounds like a board game or puzzle toy. At least “Subway” makes sense. I went into Subway once. Sat there for 2 hours. Not a single train went by! 😛 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/business-names-that-thoroughly-irritate-you-for-no-valid-reason/764673.md?page=10)