Every time I drive past “Two Brother’s Beauty Supply,” I have to stare at that misplaced apostrophe like a bad accident.
And I’d NEVER use a company named Servpro.
Exactly. I even peered in the window as I went past one and still no clue. The one near me closed. Gee, I wonder why?
Dennis
Just for the heck of it I Googled “Tuesday Morning”. This is the blurb that shows up:
“Tuesday Morning Corporation is an American upscale, deep discount, off-price retailer specializing in domestic and international, designer and name-brand closeout merchandise.”
That settles that…
Dennis
Dammit, why did you have to disturb my proud ignorance? Although, telling me they sell “merchandise” is not too specific…
A thousand times this. I still don’t know what it’s supposed to mean.
My peeve is names that sound foolish to say. Number one in that category is Wamu Bank, the (I think) now defunct Washington Mutual. Their commercials were constantly on and at the time I worked in the credit card division of marketing at a national retailer and I could barely bring myself to say “Wamu”, which unfortunately had to be said a lot. Wawa (gas station / convenience store) is nearly as bad but at least that one you can say using the sad trombone sound. My first job, when I was fourteen, was a children’s clothing store in the mall called “Tot Toggery”. God, how I hated having to say that to people when they asked me where I worked. Not only did it sound stupid but nobody was familiar with the term “togs” for clothing so they sure as hell didn’t get what a “toggery” was.
Altria the renamed Philip Morris/tobacco holding company. Or any company that still does crappy stuff but renames themselves in the hopes we kinda forget.
And it’s a generic non-name that sounds focus-group tested.
Ironically, I used to work for Accenture and applaud their name. I don’t like the word or anything*, but they had nothing to do with Arthur Andersen’s auditing malfeasance at Enron, so the fact that Andersen Consulting had to change their name and ended up with Accenture as part of the split agreement about a year before Arthur went down still makes me smile. Dodged a bullet there.
*new hires used to have to go through a 3-week training course called Accent on the Future. No clue how it got that name, but when they had to come up with a new name, an employee suggested Accenture based on that.
That would be Vida or Vita, but then it would be a horrible mix of languages. Maybe they thought your Midwestern town needed to sound like there was a waterfall nearby or something? Or they were talking about all those beautiful mattresses…
It’s the same with many developments, people string together some words which individually may have nice meanings, but the end result makes zero sense.
Plus one and all that. I was proud, proud I tell you, not to know what that chain sold.
Yep. “Vista” means “view”. The translated name of the development is “View Springs”. Say what? And then there is Del Taco. It has a nice ring to it, but literally translated it means “of the taco”. 'Scuse, please?
I’ve always been confused by “Dress Barn”. The stores are not barns, and neither do they sell dresses.
Here in the land of competitive pretentiousness, California Wine Country, there’s a new place opening in town that sells very expensive jerky to very special snowflakes. They do not have a store. They have a “brand experience center”. :rolleyes:
One name that makes me groan is “The Grapes of Wrath” lawn care and gardening service. Whenever I see their trucks parked in my town, I want to pelt the vehicles with mud or raw eggs. It’s clear that whoever started the business wanted a clever name that evokes plants and greenery, but “The Grapes of Wrath” – really?
One I’ve mentioned before is a local business called, simply, “Northwest Product Supply”.
Wow, what a monumentally non-descriptive name. Literally any physical object you can buy is a “product”. (Turns out they sell concrete/stone landscaping stuff, like bricks paving stones, etc.
There’s a nearby answer for that.
There’s a few around here:
>WOW - Our cable company. It stands for Wide Open West and I feel stupid saying it.
>Just Jeeps and More - Do you sell only Jeeps? Yes, just Jeeps! And more!
>Sado Boutique - They sell custom, frilly dresses and stuff for girls. Apparently it’s the first 2 letters of each owner’s name, but did no one tell them it sounds like they should be selling whips and stiletto heels?
>Coffin Shoes - Just…no.
>Jack the Clipper - Hair salon named after a famous serial killer who used to murder prostitutes and mutilate their corpses. Catchy!
>Storage Locker - I don’t really have a problem with this, but their signs have a lock in place of the O in Storage, which makes it look like St. Rage, which is actually kinda cool.
Apple? Apple, is that you?
Some of these uber-boutiquey places seem like if they sell the one item in their store, they’ll have to close up shop.
“<Whatever> City” and “<Whatever> Ville” are other sure markers for overpriced crap for poor people. “Come to Dan’s Furniture City; at these low prices they just won’t last.” etc.
“Drift on by”?
Fifth Third was the result of a merger between Fifth National Bank and Third National Bank, both of Ohio. The good burghers of Ohio have never been marketing geniuses. And they were too decent to make either set of employees have to learn a new name. Besides, this way they could reuse most of their old signs after a little thrifty cut and pasting between them. 
Fifth Third Bank - Wikipedia
They sell random crap they got from closeouts / BKs, etc. Quality & range of goods is about a cross between K-Mart & Target minus the clothing and groceries. Housewares, kitchen stuff, bedding, and tchotchkes. Lots and lots of tchotchkes. Trailer trash heaven.
Me too. In the Midwest the shoppy/pointy places were everywhere.
That’s even stupider because it covers everything under the sun. Especially this: “upscale, deep discount”… so, um… they raid Paris Hilton’s closet and sell it at Goodwill prices? WTF?
The only annoying business name I can think of was a furniture store years ago when I lived in California. It was called “Once a tree”. I’m generally okay with irreverent humor, but I thought that was one unnecessary step over the line into disrespectful. Sure, trees don’t have feelings, but this was just… too… gleeful about hacking them down into furniture. It’s hard to explain.
Tuesday Morning sells whatever they can buy cheap. When Chefs Catalog closed earlier this year, Tuesday Morning sold pots and pans; when pets.com went bust in the dot-com collapse, Tuesday Morning sold fancy dog beds and cat toys. One year they had piles and mounds of Christmas decorations, while other times it’s mostly sheets and curtains. If it’s “upscale” and can be liquidated in retail stores, Tuesday Morning might be interested. They can’t be too specific, because they aren’t too picky.
Back in the old days, “Tuesday Morning” referred to the day/time when the new-to-them merchandise hit the shelves; in fact, they were closed on Mondays, and you were supposed to look forward to Tuesdays before noon as the time to get first crack at all of the exciting bargains. I think that schedule went away probably thirty years ago, and all that remains is the name.
There used to be a store in Texas that sold tools; it was apparently a part-time gig, and only open very specific days/times. The name was “tts pm”–it was open Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays in the afternoon.
In that same vein there’s a chain of crappy furniture stores in the Midwest named “Weekends Only.” http://www.weekendsonly.com/ Two guesses when they’re open.
Are you saying that you wouldn’t shop at Spatuala City…Spatula City?
Ruth’s Chris Steak House.