# Busted: My Daughter Reveals My Family's Rampant Domestic Abuse **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 23, 2009, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busted-my-daughter-reveals-my-familys-rampant-domestic-abuse/514852 "2009-10-23T13:43:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busted-my-daughter-reveals-my-familys-rampant-domestic-abuse/514852/21 "2009-10-23T14:39:58Z")
> [@Hampshire](#): > > I know the PC thing to do when you fart is to say “excuse me” but my son instead laughs. Probably because that’s what I do. > Does anyone see any bad future ramifications of this? things are more humorful when they happen only occasionally. you need to stop laughing at farts yourself and fart more otherwise the kid will be a fart-laugher for life. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busted-my-daughter-reveals-my-familys-rampant-domestic-abuse/514852/22 "2009-10-23T14:42:15Z")
> [@Hal\_Briston](#): > > Question 1: Let’s say we’re driving along, and a neon green Beetle passes us. \, punch is delivered. We get stopped at red light, but the Beetle keeps going. We lose sight of it, but a few minutes later we see a neon green Beetle stopped at a gas station. My wife feels that since it’s the same car, no new punch can be delivered. I say that once a car leaves your sight, barring conclusive proof that it is, in fact, _the same car_ (say, a customized license plate), you can’t really be sure. Punches should be delivered, just in case. No. Definite proof that it is a different slug bug is needed. > [@Hal Briston](#): > > Question 2: We’re sitting in the living room watching TV, when someone in the show rolls up in a Beetle. Are punches legit, or does the car have to be seen in real life? Punch away > [@Hal Briston](#): > > Question 3: Taking Q2 even further, can I e-mail my wife a pic of a Beetle, sneak up behind her as she’s opening the attachment, and then slug her once she sees the pic? Go for it. Also, getting her to look at a picture in a magazine while you are ready to pounce is also acceptable. DVRs are wonderful tools too. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busted-my-daughter-reveals-my-familys-rampant-domestic-abuse/514852/23 "2009-10-23T14:43:59Z")
[QUOTE=johnpost] things are more humorful when they happen only occasionally. you need to stop laughing at farts yourself and fart more otherwise the kid will be a fart-laugher for life. [/QUOTE] You say that like it’s a bad thing. ---
**Author:** ![Textual\_Intercourse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Textual\_Intercourse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Textual_Intercourse)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busted-my-daughter-reveals-my-familys-rampant-domestic-abuse/514852/24 "2009-10-23T14:51:30Z")
> [@Hampshire](#): > > I know the PC thing to do when you fart is to say “excuse me” but my son instead laughs. Probably because that’s what I do. > Does anyone see any bad future ramifications of this? Well farts are funny. This is a technical fact. As for the PC thing to do when you fart, I believe the proper course of action is to look around in a puzzled manner searching for the “real” culprit of said flatulence. ---
**Author:** ![Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uosdwis_R.Dewoh)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busted-my-daughter-reveals-my-familys-rampant-domestic-abuse/514852/25 "2009-10-23T14:54:12Z")
This thread has opened my eyes. Here in Finland we also play the spot the bug game, but without the violence. I’ll be sure to implement some punching on the next road trip.😃 ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busted-my-daughter-reveals-my-familys-rampant-domestic-abuse/514852/26 "2009-10-23T14:54:20Z")
> [@Hal\_Briston](#): > > As an aside, we were both a little stymied when we drove by Best Buy the other day and saw a Geek Squad car there with its multiple colors – I finally settled on “Punch buggy geek, no punch backs” before slugging her. No, no, no. This is America, not Mexico. You put the modifier BEFORE the noun. “Red punch buggy.” Now if you call out the wrong color, someone else can steal it from you and give you double punch backs. Having to name the color first causes more excitement because it forces everyone to wait until it gets close enough to distinguish its color. “Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh, GREEN punch buggy, no punch backs!” Other Unofficial Rules: If it’s a convertible, you say, “Red convertible punch buggy.” which, of course, is worth double punches. An old-fashioned bug is also worth double points, and if you’re lucky enough to spot an old-fashioned convertible buggy, you get quadruple punches. If you call out a buggy that turns out to be, say, a PT Cruiser, this is a False Buggy Sighting. The other occupants call out “FBS!” and each gets to dole out a penalty slug. So be judicious with with your buggy sightings. > [@](#): > > Question 1: Let’s say we’re driving along, and a neon green Beetle passes us. \, punch is delivered. We get stopped at red light, but the Beetle keeps going. We lose sight of it, but a few minutes later we see a neon green Beetle stopped at a gas station. My wife feels that since it’s the same car, no new punch can be delivered. I say that once a car leaves your sight, barring conclusive proof that it is, in fact, _the same car_ (say, a customized license plate), you can’t really be sure. Punches should be delivered, just in case. One sighting per buggy per 24 hours. Use your better judgment as to whether it’s the same one. But, as a rule, if you go to dinner and call the white buggy in the Walgreens parking lot, you cannot call the same one when your return. > [@](#): > > Question 2: We’re sitting in the living room watching TV, when someone in the show rolls up in a Beetle. Are punches legit, or does the car have to be seen in real life? TV and internet sightings are treated as legitimate buggy sightings. > [@](#): > > Question 3: Taking Q2 even further, can I e-mail my wife a pic of a Beetle, sneak up behind her as she’s opening the attachment, and then slug her once she sees the pic? Absolutely. I love your ingenuity. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busted-my-daughter-reveals-my-familys-rampant-domestic-abuse/514852/27 "2009-10-23T15:05:36Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > TV and internet sightings are treated as legitimate buggy sightings. But what about looking for them specifically? For example, let’s say Airman goes to Google Images and searching for “VW Bugs”? Is that legitimate, or can I tell him to get stuffed? ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busted-my-daughter-reveals-my-familys-rampant-domestic-abuse/514852/28 "2009-10-23T15:09:26Z")
> [@MsRobyn](#): > > But what about looking for them specifically? For example, let’s say Airman goes to Google Images and searching for “VW Bugs”? Is that legitimate, or can I tell him to get stuffed? If he is calling slug bugs from the top, go in reverse order to get him back. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busted-my-daughter-reveals-my-familys-rampant-domestic-abuse/514852/29 "2009-10-23T15:14:31Z")
What do you do to earn a Wet Willie? ---
**Author:** ![Electric\_Warrior](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Electric\_Warrior](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electric_Warrior)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busted-my-daughter-reveals-my-familys-rampant-domestic-abuse/514852/30 "2009-10-23T15:19:00Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > No, no, no. This is America, not Mexico. You put the modifier BEFORE the noun. “Red punch buggy.” Now if you call out the wrong color, someone else can steal it from you and give you double punch backs. Having to name the color first causes more excitement because it forces everyone to wait until it gets close enough to distinguish its color. You’re ALL wrong! It’s “punch buggy, no punch backs - red”! ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busted-my-daughter-reveals-my-familys-rampant-domestic-abuse/514852/31 "2009-10-23T15:20:56Z")
> [@MsRobyn](#): > > But what about looking for them specifically? For example, let’s say Airman goes to Google Images and searching for “VW Bugs”? Is that legitimate, or can I tell him to get stuffed? My dear MsRobyn, he is your husband; you can tell him to get stuffed _whenever you feel like it_. Why d’you think you _married_ him? 😃 As far as kids and stories go, we had an embarrassing incident a few weeks ago with 9YO **mudgirl**. I was at her parent/teacher conference, and she went with me (she often does). I don’t remember what the topic was (she doesn’t hit other kids, so it wasn’t that), but I said _something_ to which she replied “except when Dad gets violent”. Uh, what??? :eek: Seriously, WTF? I mean, she’s seen me smack him upside the head before, and _maybe_ (only maybe) seen him ‘whap me on the ass’, but she has _never_, ever seen him get violent! Hell, he probably _hasn’t_ gotten violent since he was 12 and he and his friends used to ‘bond’ by beating the crap out of each other. He is simply not a violent man. Of course I explained all this to the teacher, but I still wonder if she wonders. . . ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busted-my-daughter-reveals-my-familys-rampant-domestic-abuse/514852/32 "2009-10-23T15:22:10Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > Oh, god, please don’t say “excuse me”. It brings all this attention to the fact that you farted, and what are we supposed to say about it? You pretend it never happened. Alternately, you try to recreate the noise with your shoe. > > If you don’t _mind_ that they know you farted, then you laugh or perhaps give it a letter grade. But cut it out with “Excuse me!” That’s for burps! Ahem. Being the father of a 10 year old, I happen to know that there are very clear rules when you fart: You must say “safety” very quickly. I you do not, I may say “doorknob”, and punch you until you touch a doorknob. Also, you must put your thumb to forehead and wiggle your fingers (the flingle manouvre). The last person to do this “ate the fart”. I’ve heard this is going to be in the Olympics in 2012. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busted-my-daughter-reveals-my-familys-rampant-domestic-abuse/514852/33 "2009-10-23T15:23:46Z")
> [@Textual\_Intercourse](#): > > Well farts are funny. This is a technical fact. As for the PC thing to do when you fart, I believe the proper course of action is to look around in a puzzled manner searching for the “real” culprit of said flatulence. Extra points for a confused “_What_ is that _smell_? Do you smell that?” ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busted-my-daughter-reveals-my-familys-rampant-domestic-abuse/514852/34 "2009-10-23T15:26:59Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > Extra points for a confused “_What_ is that _smell_? Do you smell that?” But…that would _totally_ mean you dealt it! ---
**Author:** ![ENugent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4af34b/32.png) [@ENugent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ENugent)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busted-my-daughter-reveals-my-familys-rampant-domestic-abuse/514852/35 "2009-10-23T15:45:12Z")
> [@Textual\_Intercourse](#): > > Well farts are funny. This is a technical fact. As for the PC thing to do when you fart, I believe the proper course of action is to look around in a puzzled manner searching for the “real” culprit of said flatulence. No, you look around and ask, “Who stepped on a duck?” ---
**Author:** ![hellpaso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ecae2f/32.png) [@hellpaso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hellpaso)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busted-my-daughter-reveals-my-familys-rampant-domestic-abuse/514852/36 "2009-10-23T15:55:38Z")
“Punch buggy”!?!?!😕 What on earth are you all talking about?? ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busted-my-daughter-reveals-my-familys-rampant-domestic-abuse/514852/37 "2009-10-23T16:02:36Z")
So the littlest Briston comes home and starts throwing the Fbomb around, let’s say. You make inquiries at the school, and her teacher informs you that she spoke with the parents of the child who initiated the Fbomb talk. Their attitude is, it makes them feel like they’re still young. Would it be acceptable to you that their immaturity was over riding the impact on their child and on yours? Or, would you think they should grow up and, if they must swear, refrain from doing so in front of their kids? There is a world of difference between childlike and childish. If it was my child getting slugged because you and your wife aren’t comfortable with growing up I’d have a few choice words for you. Anybody else fondly remember when parents weren’t afraid of acting like adults? ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busted-my-daughter-reveals-my-familys-rampant-domestic-abuse/514852/38 "2009-10-23T16:04:53Z")
why are you all hitting other people when you see a VW? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Dag\_Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@Dag\_Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dag_Otto)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busted-my-daughter-reveals-my-familys-rampant-domestic-abuse/514852/39 "2009-10-23T16:09:41Z")
> [@salinqmind](#): > > 😕 > > You punch each other while driving? > > Have you ever considered, I don’t know…growing up and acting mature? What do you do - play punch buggy at home? Boring. Loved driving past the VW junkyard. Every town seems to have one. ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busted-my-daughter-reveals-my-familys-rampant-domestic-abuse/514852/40 "2009-10-23T16:16:17Z")
Ahem. The proper term for a ‘Geek Squad’ or other ‘black and white bug’ is either ‘panda’ or ‘cow’. Panda is more widespread, acceptable in both England and Japan. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busted-my-daughter-reveals-my-familys-rampant-domestic-abuse/514852.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busted-my-daughter-reveals-my-familys-rampant-domestic-abuse/514852.md?page=3)