# Busted: My Daughter Reveals My Family's Rampant Domestic Abuse **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 23, 2009, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busted-my-daughter-reveals-my-familys-rampant-domestic-abuse/514852 "2009-10-23T13:43:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busted-my-daughter-reveals-my-familys-rampant-domestic-abuse/514852/41 "2009-10-23T16:16:49Z")
Don’t forget “Bitch Slap Cadillac!” Whenever one farts, one should announce that Space Spiders have landed. They fart a lot. It’s their primary means of communication. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busted-my-daughter-reveals-my-familys-rampant-domestic-abuse/514852/42 "2009-10-23T16:17:02Z")
My wife dreams of the day we spot a car transporter full of Bugs. ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busted-my-daughter-reveals-my-familys-rampant-domestic-abuse/514852/43 "2009-10-23T16:17:03Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > So the littlest Briston comes home and starts throwing the Fbomb around, let’s say. You make inquiries at the school, and her teacher informs you that she spoke with the parents of the child who initiated the Fbomb talk. Their attitude is, it makes them feel like they’re still young. So you call up the Schwartzes and complain. Then you take Ralphie into the bathroom and stick a bar of Lifeboy in his mouth until he’s learned his lesson. Problem solved. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busted-my-daughter-reveals-my-familys-rampant-domestic-abuse/514852/44 "2009-10-23T16:19:23Z")
> [@Sigmagirl](#): > > What do you do to earn a Wet Willie? As with “Jeep Slap”, my wife attempted to add another game, “Wet Willie PT Cruiser”. I told her that that wouldn’t fly unless I got to play “Hummer Hummer.” ---
**Author:** ![Textual\_Intercourse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Textual\_Intercourse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Textual_Intercourse)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busted-my-daughter-reveals-my-familys-rampant-domestic-abuse/514852/45 "2009-10-23T16:24:36Z")
> [@ENugent](#): > > No, you look around and ask, “Who stepped on a duck?” I knew a guy who said that EVERY SINGLE time he farted. It happened so many times that I now permanently associate farts with ducks. All of this begs the obvious question, “what do duck farts sound like?” ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busted-my-daughter-reveals-my-familys-rampant-domestic-abuse/514852/46 "2009-10-23T16:27:17Z")
> [@Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](#): > > This thread has opened my eyes. Here in Finland we also play the spot the bug game, but without the violence. The specter of European socialism was never so chilling. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busted-my-daughter-reveals-my-familys-rampant-domestic-abuse/514852/47 "2009-10-23T16:33:32Z")
My boss’ car was in the shop for a couple weeks, so I was leaving early in the morning to give him and his 3-year-old son rides from their house to daycare and work. A couple times, my fiance would come with me so he could have the car for the day. So one day we’re all driving along when, for no discernible reason, my boss son says something that sounds a lot like “fuck.” We all look at each other (except me, I was driving) and my boss says, “What did you say?” Very slowly and clearly, his son repeats himself: “fuuuuccck.” “Where did you learn that? That’s a bad word!” My fiance and I exchanged glances. My boss is constantly swearing in front of his son, and it was perfectly clear where he’d learned it. Boss went on to tell his son, “Only big boys can use that word.” To which the predictable reply was, “But _I’m_ a big boy!” The next day, Boss was complaining that he’d told his wife what happened, and she blamed him for teaching the kid to swear! How unfair was that?! “Well,” I said, “You do swear a lot, and you never watch your language in front of him.” “Yeah,” he admitted, “But I didn’t say it right before he did!” :smack: ---
**Author:** ![The\_Stafford\_Cripps](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_stafford_cripps/32/7167_2.png) [@The\_Stafford\_Cripps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Stafford_Cripps)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busted-my-daughter-reveals-my-familys-rampant-domestic-abuse/514852/48 "2009-10-23T16:37:44Z")
> [@Textual\_Intercourse](#): > > All of this begs the obvious question, “what do duck farts sound like?” Furthermore: do they echo? ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busted-my-daughter-reveals-my-familys-rampant-domestic-abuse/514852/49 "2009-10-23T16:42:06Z")
> [@Scheidt-Hoch](#): > > Furthermore: do they echo? Only on a 1920s style treadmill. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busted-my-daughter-reveals-my-familys-rampant-domestic-abuse/514852/50 "2009-10-23T16:57:27Z")
> [@Textual\_Intercourse](#): > > I knew a guy who said that EVERY SINGLE time he farted. It happened so many times that I now permanently associate farts with ducks. > > All of this begs the obvious question, “what do duck farts sound like?” My understanding is that you only say that for the audible ones, the ones that sound like the sort of squished, protesting noise you’d get from a duck who had been squished, squeezed, or stepped on and had the air knocked out of it. So it’s not the question of what duck farts sound like, but rather this: who’s been stepping on ducks, that they know what it would sound like anyway? ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busted-my-daughter-reveals-my-familys-rampant-domestic-abuse/514852/51 "2009-10-23T17:05:46Z")
> [@salinqmind](#): > > 😕 > > You punch each other while driving? > > Have you ever considered, I don’t know…growing up and acting mature? No! Now I’m going to hold my breath until you take that back!!! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busted-my-daughter-reveals-my-familys-rampant-domestic-abuse/514852/52 "2009-10-23T17:24:06Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > Extra points for a confused “_What_ is that _smell_? Do you smell that?” > [@Hal\_Briston](#): > > But…that would _totally_ mean you dealt it! While simultaneously denying it! Supply-side double indemnity! Best to keep silent (especially if the fart was). ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Onimous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea5d25/32.png) [@Ann\_Onimous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Onimous)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busted-my-daughter-reveals-my-familys-rampant-domestic-abuse/514852/53 "2009-10-23T17:26:12Z")
We’ve played Slug Bug for years with no ill effects: well, except for the bruised shoulders. Our son, however, changed the game to Hug Bug. Now our daughter refuses to play. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![G.Pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@G.Pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G.Pie)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busted-my-daughter-reveals-my-familys-rampant-domestic-abuse/514852/54 "2009-10-23T17:40:18Z")
> [@Textual\_Intercourse](#): > > All of this begs the obvious question, “what do duck farts sound like?” Exactly like bubbling water. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busted-my-daughter-reveals-my-familys-rampant-domestic-abuse/514852/55 "2009-10-23T17:44:03Z")
> [@Max\_Torque](#): > > As with “Jeep Slap”, my wife attempted to add another game, “Wet Willie PT Cruiser”. I told her that that wouldn’t fly unless I got to play “Hummer Hummer.” I was thinking maybe you played Wet Willie when you saw a Willys. But they’re pretty uncommon. You could go years. And then, [when you least expect it . . . .](http://www.willys-mb.co.uk/images/world-war-2-jeep-s.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busted-my-daughter-reveals-my-familys-rampant-domestic-abuse/514852/56 "2009-10-23T18:46:55Z")
Warning to those inspired to violence at the sight of VW Beetles: watch yourself when approaching 9th and J St. in Modesto. [Slug Bug Corner](http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&ie=UTF8&layer=c&cbll=37.640003,-121.000976&panoid=ulzHKzkXviX_eVOtwR5SiQ&cbp=12,304.62,,1,4.43&ll=37.63991,-121.001079&spn=0,359.986246&z=16) ---
**Author:** ![PandaMom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d2c977/32.png) [@PandaMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaMom)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busted-my-daughter-reveals-my-familys-rampant-domestic-abuse/514852/57 "2009-10-23T19:19:58Z")
I have join in this conversation. We always play Slug Bug. Never heard of the “no slugs back”. That would be a breach of protocol. (plus, the hit BACK from the cheater slug back, would be worse!). My husband and I have NEVER considered stopping the game when we had kids. We just quickly taught them that it is a game, and Daddy is NOT hurting Mommy (even though I say OUCH!, or some variation of Ouch Darn it Honey that hurt.). We have added to teh game though. You can have: Barbie Bonus. For this, it MUST be a new VW, and the driver HAS to be a female with a blonde ponytail. They are very rare. IF you find one, you get a 2nd hit. Hippie Bonus: For this, it MUST be the VW Bus, OLD, and have curtains and other hippie type decorations (bumper sticks for Nixon, long haired hippie-like drivers…etc) Again, you get a 2nd hit. Slug UGs: This is a new one we invented, cause we HATE the Element cars. Scions work for a slug-ug too. Pre-emptive Slug Bug: For this, you get your hit in, and name a color. The kids/spouse will SCOUR the streets waiting for a slug bug to arrive, and HOPE that the guessed color is wrong! This works well on long car rides. Keeps everybody on their toes! ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Woodhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@Miss\_Woodhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Woodhouse)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busted-my-daughter-reveals-my-familys-rampant-domestic-abuse/514852/58 "2009-10-23T19:32:55Z")
We are raising our children in what seems to be the Finnish style. The poor deprived dears hunt for bugs, but they don’t get to hit each other. They collect “slug bug points” for every one they see. They seem to start over each day, but I don’t keep track of the points collecting. They also collect train points and have added helicopter points. They youngest keeps trying to add tree points but no one else will agree to it. They hit each other all too often without bugs around. I’m trying to encourage a think first hit later attitude amongst the little Woodhouses. I’m not making much progress. ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busted-my-daughter-reveals-my-familys-rampant-domestic-abuse/514852/59 "2009-10-23T19:44:50Z")
Does your daughter have a view of the highway from the windows there? If she does then the smacking could be totally justified as long as she is watching for VW bugs first. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2009, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busted-my-daughter-reveals-my-familys-rampant-domestic-abuse/514852/60 "2009-10-23T19:54:48Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > Whenever one farts, one should announce that Space Spiders have landed. They fart a lot. It’s their primary means of communication. I thought that was the Slitheen. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busted-my-daughter-reveals-my-familys-rampant-domestic-abuse/514852.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busted-my-daughter-reveals-my-familys-rampant-domestic-abuse/514852.md?page=4)