# Busty 13 year old booted from HS Grad for showing too much cleavage. Is her dress OK? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 15, 2004, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busty-13-year-old-booted-from-hs-grad-for-showing-too-much-cleavage-is-her-dress-ok/245236 "2004-05-15T05:32:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2004, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busty-13-year-old-booted-from-hs-grad-for-showing-too-much-cleavage-is-her-dress-ok/245236/61 "2004-05-15T23:59:52Z")
> [@Rune](#): > > Get a clue. Men and women are different. And you think it’s cheap to keep a 600 year old building in good shape, espicially with the gobsmacking amounts of tourists visiting every day? Don’t like the rules, go somewhere else. They sound like a pair of stupid tenage idiots to me. Errrr yeah, and male knees are soooo different from female knees. I would have far less objections to the charges for seeing a few gold-encrusted items if the same church wasn’t claiming poverty when they actually need to do something meaningful. To quote an unnamed source: If they were honest, they’d have nothing left to steal. ---
**Author:** ![kushiel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbce88/32.png) [@kushiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kushiel)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busty-13-year-old-booted-from-hs-grad-for-showing-too-much-cleavage-is-her-dress-ok/245236/62 "2004-05-16T00:33:25Z")
!!! I’m graduating this year from a public Catholic school (yeah, I know, sounds weird, but Christianity is big around here). We have no outright dress code for grad, but we all kind of know not to be too outrageous. But I already know so many people with strapless dresses, or halter top dresses, or anything you can think of. I’d expect that dress to be of average for cleavage at my grad. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busty-13-year-old-booted-from-hs-grad-for-showing-too-much-cleavage-is-her-dress-ok/245236/63 "2004-05-16T00:57:19Z")
> [@SSgtBaloo](#): > > My mom used to sew. It’s called a “modesty panel”. > > –SSgtBaloo Actually, the proper term is “fichu”, I believe. ---
**Author:** ![thirdwarning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecccb3/32.png) [@thirdwarning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdwarning)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busty-13-year-old-booted-from-hs-grad-for-showing-too-much-cleavage-is-her-dress-ok/245236/64 "2004-05-16T01:07:59Z")
I don’t know how it is for Catholic grade schools, but the Lutheran school my kids attended did graduation as a worship service, and made it very clear that proper behavior was expected. There is a big difference between what’s appropriate for a party and what’s appropriate for church. And as far as I’m concerned, that dress isn’t appropriate for a thirteen year old for any occasion. She has plenty of time to be that overtly sexy when she’s old enough to know how to handle it. And in two different years all the female graduates managed to wear dresses that were pretty without making spectacles of themselves, so I know it’s possible to find appropriate clothing. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busty-13-year-old-booted-from-hs-grad-for-showing-too-much-cleavage-is-her-dress-ok/245236/65 "2004-05-16T06:19:45Z")
Although Dannielle Fuqua was having her graduation pictures taken on that fateful day, the ceremony from which she was sent home was her May crowning. As [this page](http://www.wf-f.org/MayCrowning.html) explains: > [@](#): > > In its simplest form, the May crowning involves putting a statue of Mary on a pedestal, singing some hymns, and placing a garland of flowers on her head. Other floral tributes are then laid at her feet, and the shrine is kept going all May with fresh flowers. > > The flower we call “May” is hawthorn blossom but it is only one of many flowers that bloom in this month. For a crowning ceremony, little girls wear their best dresses and garlands of flowers round their heads and carry posies or baskets of flowers. A boy carries the crown on a cushion to Mary’s statue, and the oldest girl taking part does the actual crowning. The other children then troop up and stack their posies around the shrine. Dannielle attends Holy Family Catholic School in Cincinnati. Some photos taken at the May Crowning celebrated last year at that Ohio city’s Saint Ursula Academy can be seen [on this page](http://www.saintursula.org/news/MayCrowning2003.html). Obviously, the attire of the girls in these pictures was deemed appropriate to the occasion. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busty-13-year-old-booted-from-hs-grad-for-showing-too-much-cleavage-is-her-dress-ok/245236/66 "2004-05-16T07:26:45Z")
I clicked on the slideshow, which basically consists of 8 photos of Ms. Fuqua’s ample cleavage. Job or no job, that photographer had to have felt a _little_ creepy doing this assignment. Editor: Ok, Lou, I need you to go shoot this girl’s bosoms from as many angles as possible. Don’t be afraid to lay on the ground. Happy ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busty-13-year-old-booted-from-hs-grad-for-showing-too-much-cleavage-is-her-dress-ok/245236/67 "2004-05-16T07:44:59Z")
Our granddaughters have been told to bring sweaters or stoles to their 8th grade graduations from Catholic school. Apparently that’s “just in case” someone is “outgrowing” her dress. And that really does happen sometimes rather quickly. I still have a sundress that I wore for a few weeks when I was 15. It was sleeveless and I literally busted out the armholes by the end of summer. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 10:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busty-13-year-old-booted-from-hs-grad-for-showing-too-much-cleavage-is-her-dress-ok/245236/68 "2004-05-16T10:18:23Z")
OK, I’m busty, old-fashioned, and, when I went to high school back in the dark ages, I was a first-class prude. I also only looked at the first couple of slides. Still, in my opinion, yes, it does show off too much cleavage and I agree that a criss-cross design like that does do a lot more to show off what you’ve got than a simply v-neck. I haven’t shopped for clothes for myself for a while, let alone a 13 year old girl, but I can’t believe they couldn’t find anything with a higher neckline which would fit her. Then again, I’m a bit of a curmudgeon who was bottom of the social ladder when I was 13, and who never did understand or want to be the popular, sexy, or fashionable type, so my opinion doesn’t matter. CJ ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busty-13-year-old-booted-from-hs-grad-for-showing-too-much-cleavage-is-her-dress-ok/245236/69 "2004-05-16T11:10:12Z")
That little Catholic girl had a bad habit 😃 ---
**Author:** ![badbadrubberpiggy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/57b2e6/32.png) [@badbadrubberpiggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badbadrubberpiggy)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busty-13-year-old-booted-from-hs-grad-for-showing-too-much-cleavage-is-her-dress-ok/245236/70 "2004-05-16T13:43:02Z")
Well, it seems that if the rules of “no cleavage” were spelled out for her before the ceremony, then she WAS in violation. However, I feel bad for the girl, becuase it seems her mother was the one in charge and thought the dress was fine. If my mother thought something was modest enough, I’d believe her, especially at 13. The girl probably thought the dress was fine. Also, it must have been humiliating to get kicked out of your graduation for cleavage, especially when she’s only 13 and her large chest is probably more of an embarassment than an asset right now. I was an early bloomer, and I was one of the talled and bustiest girls in my 8th grade class, and when you’re that young, it usually doesn’t get you much positive attention (“hey, nice tits!” does not count as positive attention). Now, 10 years later, I like my chest (the height didn’t last, I stayed 5’3", and everybody else grew). But at 13, it would have been humiliating for “the girls” to be the focus of an event such as this. ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busty-13-year-old-booted-from-hs-grad-for-showing-too-much-cleavage-is-her-dress-ok/245236/71 "2004-05-16T17:46:08Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > It can be difficult to find nice dresses that _don’t_ show cleavage, but I’ve always managed to do it. (I hate wearing low-cut tops.) Or, you can get one of those elegant scarfs or shawls to help out a little. They cover up without compromisig the overall look of the dress. A friend of mine (granted, she was ticked off at her boyfrned0 was alo able to take an elegant dress and add some material so she was covered from head to toe like a nun. (Imean, it she was really mad at her boyfriend, so she had her aunt alter her gown right before a semi-formal. It’s not that tough to add a bit of extra fabric to avoid cleavage. ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busty-13-year-old-booted-from-hs-grad-for-showing-too-much-cleavage-is-her-dress-ok/245236/72 "2004-05-16T18:18:41Z")
> [@astro](#): > > Female dopers. Is it really that diffcult to find a suitable graduation type dress that isn’t low cut? It is NOT that difficult. When I was shopping for my junior high graduation dress I was about a c/d cup. Finding a dress that wasn’t low cut was a priority, not due to any school dress code, but due to the fact that I was painfully shy and would’ve died before showing off my assets to the whole school. It really wasn’t that hard. Of course, this was 13 years ago, and fashions have definately changed. While I have a hard time believing that they searched for _weeks_ and were unable to find _anything_, I believe that they may have had a bit of a hard time. ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busty-13-year-old-booted-from-hs-grad-for-showing-too-much-cleavage-is-her-dress-ok/245236/73 "2004-05-16T18:22:16Z")
> [@avabeth](#): > > I’m sorry, this seems pretty cut-and-dry. The school stated ‘no cleavage’. She showed cleavage. She was sent home. Story over. > > I was quite well-endowed as a young teen (I started developing in the fourth grade and wore a 36DDD by the time I was fourteen…had a breast reduction 9 years ago, thank GOD), and I could easily find dresses to cover my ‘assets’. It’s not that hard. I think the mother’s puposely being difficult. > > Ava [slight hijack] Hey **Ava** , me too! I was a 36 DDD by the end of high school and got a reduction about 7 years ago. Nice to see someone else that had to feel the pain. 😛 [/hijack over] ---
**Author:** ![Annie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/858c86/32.png) [@Annie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busty-13-year-old-booted-from-hs-grad-for-showing-too-much-cleavage-is-her-dress-ok/245236/74 "2004-05-16T18:39:48Z")
I wouldn’t wear that dress to grad. [Look what happened to Carrie when she wore one like that!](http://www.crankycritic.com/archive/posters/pages/carrie.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busty-13-year-old-booted-from-hs-grad-for-showing-too-much-cleavage-is-her-dress-ok/245236/75 "2004-05-16T18:54:23Z")
> [@](#): > > I don’t know if it was an off day for those in charge, but I can assure you that it’s not a male/female thing. Or, at least it’s not at other Italian churches. At St. Peter’s, nobody is allowed in if they either have shorts or shoulder revealing outfits. NOBODY In the heat of summer the vendors outside of the Vatican make good money selling disposable paper pants to tourists to wear over their shorts. ---
**Author:** ![SSgtBaloo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@SSgtBaloo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSgtBaloo)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busty-13-year-old-booted-from-hs-grad-for-showing-too-much-cleavage-is-her-dress-ok/245236/76 "2004-05-16T20:13:00Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Actually, the proper term is “fichu”, I believe. Picky, picky, picky. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busty-13-year-old-booted-from-hs-grad-for-showing-too-much-cleavage-is-her-dress-ok/245236/77 "2004-05-16T21:38:33Z")
> [@lezlers](#): > > [slight hijack] > > Hey **Ava** , me too! I was a 36 DDD by the end of high school and got a reduction about 7 years ago. > > Nice to see someone else that had to feel the pain. 😛 > > [/hijack over] Heck, yeah, _pain_ is the best word for it! Reductions rock:). It was the best thing I ever did. Sadly, though, my fourteen-year-old cousin seems to be following in my footsteps - I’m hoping it won’t hit her quite as hard, but she’s developed in about the same vein as I did. Ava ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busty-13-year-old-booted-from-hs-grad-for-showing-too-much-cleavage-is-her-dress-ok/245236/78 "2004-05-16T22:23:25Z")
She shouldn’t be allowed to graduate for failure to read and understand directions. This is a Catholic school and they expect their students to graduate with the appropriate skills. The dress isn’t hugely slutty but that is not the real issue. It isn’t a discussion to say a private religious school is not within it’s boundaries to dictate decorum. She could have pinned the cleavage up in less than a minute. I hold no sympathy for her crocodile tears. It’s sad that this even made the news. It’s no accident she attended this school. Her parents made a financial sacrifice to provide her with a good education that also provided some social guidance. Respecting rules of decorum use to be called having good manners. Her parents failed her in this situation. ---
**Author:** ![CLedet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b487fb/32.png) [@CLedet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CLedet)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busty-13-year-old-booted-from-hs-grad-for-showing-too-much-cleavage-is-her-dress-ok/245236/79 "2004-05-17T00:04:35Z")
I send my son to a Catholic school. Rules are rules and they do expect everyone to obey them. Can you imagine that? The horrors. This mother is a nut for running her mouth on the news, and don’t be suprised if her daughter isn’t allowed back next year after that show. And that would be a shame, it appears that young girl needs a little guidance. ---
**Author:** ![furthur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecccb3/32.png) [@furthur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furthur)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busty-13-year-old-booted-from-hs-grad-for-showing-too-much-cleavage-is-her-dress-ok/245236/80 "2004-05-17T02:49:10Z")
I agree with CrazyCatLady. The mom’s full of BS. It isn’t necessary to have a dress with her daughter’s ta-tas on display; there are alternatives available everywhere. If the school sent a letter that said no cleavage, then they have a right to insist: no cleavage. (I do hope they offered to find her a cover-up to wear for the ceremony, though; it would have been nicer). That said – I do think that the mom is definitely proud of Dannielle’s chest. Almost as if she’d grown 'em herself. 😃 Isn’t that a little weird, itself? Surely someone there could have offered the girl the button-up shirt, or similar, off their backs if necessary, to put on for the ceremony. or even a choir robe – surely there’s one in the school somewhere. So she looks dowdy… big deal. At least she doesn’t miss graduation. I wonder if the whole thing is a publicity stunt for Dannielle’s twins, myself. Mom & daughter didn’t _have_ to use this dress in violation of the rules, and surely could have requested some type of garb to cover it up if graduation was that big a deal. But if you’re kicked out? Great way to show off the boobs on the news. And is it just me, or was the slideshow cameraman having way to good a time? An _underneath_ shot, for heaven’s sake?!? Mrs. Furthur [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busty-13-year-old-booted-from-hs-grad-for-showing-too-much-cleavage-is-her-dress-ok/245236.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/busty-13-year-old-booted-from-hs-grad-for-showing-too-much-cleavage-is-her-dress-ok/245236.md?page=5)