# But...I don't golf! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 2, 2001, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/but-i-dont-golf/64026 "2001-05-02T02:38:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2001, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/but-i-dont-golf/64026/1 "2001-05-02T02:38:22Z")
We had a raffle at work today, and I won a set of golf clubs. The only person I even _know_ who golfs is my brother-in-law, and he has his own set. What am I going to do with a set of golf clubs? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2001, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/but-i-dont-golf/64026/2 "2001-05-02T02:44:12Z")
What kind of clubs are they? You know my birthday is only one month away… ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2001, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/but-i-dont-golf/64026/3 "2001-05-02T03:58:16Z")
Oh my, I see a bidding war. I’ll give you postage, $25, and whatever insurance costs 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tof](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@The\_Tof](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tof)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2001, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/but-i-dont-golf/64026/4 "2001-05-02T04:45:04Z")
Kat— One word. (Well, two words really) e-bay ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2001, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/but-i-dont-golf/64026/5 "2001-05-02T13:07:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > \*\*What kind of clubs are they? You know my birthday is only one month away… > \*\* Step aside, CF, my birthday’s coming up, too and I NEED clubs…my husband insists on making me play golf with him… ---
**Author:** ![Evnglion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f04885/32.png) [@Evnglion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evnglion)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2001, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/but-i-dont-golf/64026/6 "2001-05-02T13:10:22Z")
I play golf too!!! just send me them, and I’ll hook you up with some S&H 😉 ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2001, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/but-i-dont-golf/64026/7 "2001-05-02T13:38:57Z")
News alert from this morning - The Florida Legislature has is in the process of approving a new license plate, er, tag - GOLF! (Proceeds going towards teaching kids how to golf.) Just thought I’d let y’all know. ---
**Author:** ![GolfWidow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a698b9/32.png) [@GolfWidow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GolfWidow)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2001, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/but-i-dont-golf/64026/8 "2001-05-02T16:36:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by screech-owl \* > \*\*News alert from this morning - > > The Florida Legislature has is in the process of approving a new license plate, er, tag - GOLF! (Proceeds going towards teaching kids how to golf.) > > Just thought I’d let y’all know. > \*\* Oh no. Next thing you know, Tiger Woods will have his “Teaching inner city kids how to play golf” programs all over Florida! How many “inner city” golf courses have you seen lately? ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2001, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/but-i-dont-golf/64026/9 "2001-05-02T17:16:46Z")
On a serious note, my clubs were stolen several years ago. I would be interested in perhaps buying them from you, I’ve missed playing. If interested, my e-mail is in my profile. Dave ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2001, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/but-i-dont-golf/64026/10 "2001-05-02T21:26:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TroubleAgain \* > \*\*Step aside, CF, my birthday’s coming up, too and I NEED clubs…my husband insists on making me play golf with him… \*\* More reason for me to get them. I don’t have my own clubs anymore since I moved, and since you’re _forced_ to golf, you wouldn’t appriciate the clubs as much as a voluntary golfer. 😉 And **Hecubus** , $25 for a set of clubs? You couldn’t start the bidding at anything higher? I offer $50, insurance and shipping. 🙂 Although I do feel bad about Dave’s clubs being stolen, I offer to outbid him with a heavy heart. (But I’m still bidding. The heart’s not that heavy.) ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2001, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/but-i-dont-golf/64026/11 "2001-05-03T01:07:39Z")
Heh. My sister tells me now that she needs golf clubs, so she can force her husband to take her golfing (because he always makes the excuse that he only has one set of clubs\*). I’ll let y’all know if it doesn’t come to that. [sub]\*Prediction: His new excuse will be something about pregnancy and exertion.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![winneee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a88e4f/32.png) [@winneee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/winneee)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2001, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/but-i-dont-golf/64026/12 "2001-05-03T01:26:41Z")
I think the important thing to remember here is that we, as your good, really good, friends at the SDMB, want to help you unload those ‘things.’ Before you get bored. Before you’re kicking around one Saturday with a shiny new five wood winking at you, daring you to “just take a test drive.” It’s happened before, my friend. Nope, all the shameless offers that include shipping and handling are thinly-veiled disguises to save you from yourself. The altruism of Crunchy reaches out from my computer screen and drops a gummi bear in my lap. Just know, once you pick up that five wood on that droopy day and wander out to the driving range, it’s over. Maybe not even then. The Golf Gods usually suck newbies in by granting miraculous shots (never to replicated) that have them thinking the sport is easy. I’m really glad I was able to be here for you. And for the other kind souls that offered to sacrifice, just so your soul, your dignity, you command of the language without four-letter words, wouldn’t be compromised. So you could sleep at night without reliving the grotesque second shot or the horrifying misjudgment of clubs. To take care of this awkward mess, I would consider it a call of duty to take them off your hands, oh dear Kat. I will have a spiritual “something” and place golf balls in a giant circle around golf clubs (at some golf course that charges no more than $49.50 per round) spelling out your name. Basically to ensure that you are never again tempted by the fruits of titleist. It’s horror, sheer, horror, and that’s all I can really say. Except, of course, you may email me the easiest way to unburden you. ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2001, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/but-i-dont-golf/64026/13 "2001-05-03T02:08:01Z")
> [@](#): > > Although I do feel bad about Dave’s clubs being stolen, I offer to outbid him with a heavy heart Yer a prince, Crunchy. A veritable paragon of virtue. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2001, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/but-i-dont-golf/64026/14 "2001-05-03T03:06:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Weirddave \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > Although I do feel bad about Dave’s clubs being stolen, I offer to outbid him with a heavy heart > > Yer a prince, Crunchy. A veritable paragon of virtue. \*\* I suppose you wouldn’t believe me if I said I was planning to buy them and then have them shipped to your place.