# Butcher a phrase with the magic of Punctuation! **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [March 27, 2008, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butcher-a-phrase-with-the-magic-of-punctuation/442925 "2008-03-27T16:19:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2008, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butcher-a-phrase-with-the-magic-of-punctuation/442925/21 "2008-03-27T23:59:09Z")
My mother’s joke: Sign in tailor shop window: My name is Fink and what do you think I fix pants for nothing So a guy comes in and says, here, fix these pants at no charge. And the tailor says, no, the sign says: My name is Fink And what? Do you think I fix pants for nothing? ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butcher-a-phrase-with-the-magic-of-punctuation/442925/22 "2008-03-28T00:00:25Z")
I cannot let this thread go by without mentioning the work of Roger McGough, Liverpool beat poet, who attacked a 1980s headline with three periods. Original: TORY GOVERNMENT UNEMPLOYMENT FIGURES Amended: TORY GOVERNMENT. UNEMPLOYMENT. FIGURES. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butcher-a-phrase-with-the-magic-of-punctuation/442925/23 "2008-03-28T01:38:26Z")
Slow Men Working ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butcher-a-phrase-with-the-magic-of-punctuation/442925/24 "2008-03-28T02:43:57Z")
A timely thread, as I just saw on another message board, a comma-less: “Beam me up Scotty!” Eww. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butcher-a-phrase-with-the-magic-of-punctuation/442925/25 "2008-03-28T06:58:34Z")
[QUOTE=The Controvert] Here is Mr. Meatloaf expressing his love / hate relationship with butt sex. I would do anything, butt love…, but I won’t do that! I would do anything, but love butt, I won’t do that! [/QUOTE] Close, so close, yet so far > [@Jim Steinman](#): > > Oh I would do anything **for** love, > Oh I would do anything **for** love, > But I wont do that, no I wont do that… Missed it by that much. ---
**Author:** ![si\_blakely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@si\_blakely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/si_blakely)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butcher-a-phrase-with-the-magic-of-punctuation/442925/26 "2008-03-28T10:39:26Z")
[QUOTE=Duck Duck Goose] Interesting–over here, the punch line goes, “Eats shoots and leaves”. [/QUOTE] Well, **root** as a euphemism for sex is an antipodean thing. And the _shoots_ thing just seems an awkward construction to me - it isn’t a really natural or common term for sex, and who walks in, eats a meal, fires a gun and walks out again. Which is why I am dismissive of the book title and it’s association with Pandas (cause pandas do only eat shoots, but can’t fire a gun with that false thumb, and certainly don’t root with any enthusiasm 😉 ) Si ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butcher-a-phrase-with-the-magic-of-punctuation/442925/27 "2008-03-28T12:08:52Z")
Moderator apologies: OK, I actually played this game… and it didn’t occur to me that there’s a new forum, specifically for Games. Thanks to those who reported it, and I’m moving it there. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butcher-a-phrase-with-the-magic-of-punctuation/442925/28 "2008-03-28T12:14:42Z")
Actual sign on a New Jersey swimming pool: --------------Dogs NOEating ---------------Bicycles ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butcher-a-phrase-with-the-magic-of-punctuation/442925/29 "2008-03-28T12:17:28Z")
_Police shoot man with knife_ (I hate to think what sort of ammunition a knife gun would use…) ---
**Author:** ![The\_Controvert](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dec6dc/32.png) [@The\_Controvert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Controvert)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butcher-a-phrase-with-the-magic-of-punctuation/442925/30 "2008-03-28T18:37:32Z")
[QUOTE=Rick] Close, so close, yet so far Missed it by that much. [/QUOTE] Gee, I really butchered it. ---
**Author:** ![Alive\_At\_Both\_Ends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Alive\_At\_Both\_Ends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alive_At_Both_Ends)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butcher-a-phrase-with-the-magic-of-punctuation/442925/31 "2008-03-28T19:10:49Z")
I called you an idiot, it’s true; and I’m sad about it. I called you an idiot; it’s true, and I’m sad about it. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butcher-a-phrase-with-the-magic-of-punctuation/442925/32 "2008-03-28T19:45:58Z")
[QUOTE=Alive At Both Ends] I called you an idiot, it’s true; and I’m sad about it. I called you an idiot; it’s true, and I’m sad about it. [/QUOTE] I can’t figure out how these two differ in meaning. ---
**Author:** ![DudleyGarrett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DudleyGarrett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DudleyGarrett)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butcher-a-phrase-with-the-magic-of-punctuation/442925/33 "2008-03-28T19:55:34Z")
[QUOTE=Cisco] I can’t figure out how these two differ in meaning. [/QUOTE] I called you an idiot, it’s true; and I’m sad about it. “I’m sad that you’re an idiot.” I called you an idiot; it’s true, and I’m sad about it. “I’m sad for calling you an idiot.” ---
**Author:** ![CateAyo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/50afbb/32.png) [@CateAyo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CateAyo)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butcher-a-phrase-with-the-magic-of-punctuation/442925/34 "2008-03-28T20:51:56Z")
Not getting any, better come home. Not getting any better, come home. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butcher-a-phrase-with-the-magic-of-punctuation/442925/35 "2008-03-28T21:12:40Z")
[QUOTE=DudleyGarrett] I called you an idiot, it’s true; and I’m sad about it. “I’m sad that you’re an idiot.” I called you an idiot; it’s true, and I’m sad about it. “I’m sad for calling you an idiot.” [/QUOTE] Ahh, makes sense but I wouldn’t call that butchering. It’s pretty open to interpretation either way. I read it as “I called you an idiot, it’s true (that I called you an idiot); and I’m sad about it.” And, “I called you an idiot; it’s true (that I called you an idiot), and I’m sad about it.” ---
**Author:** ![Rachael\_Rage](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71c47a/32.png) [@Rachael\_Rage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachael_Rage)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2008, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butcher-a-phrase-with-the-magic-of-punctuation/442925/36 "2008-03-29T05:41:35Z")
[QUOTE=Cisco] > [@DudleyGarrett](#): > > I called you an idiot, it’s true; and I’m sad about it. > > “I’m sad that you’re an idiot.” > I called you an idiot; it’s true, and I’m sad about it. > > “I’m sad for calling you an idiot.” Ahh, makes sense but I wouldn’t call that butchering. It’s pretty open to interpretation either way. I read it as “I called you an idiot, it’s true (that I called you an idiot); and I’m sad about it.” And, “I called you an idiot; it’s true (that I called you an idiot), and I’m sad about it.” [/QUOTE] I read it yet another way, reversing **DudleyGarret** t’s interpretation: “I called you an idiot, it’s true; and I’m sad about it.” (It is true that I called you an idiot and I am sad that I said such a thing.) “I called you an idiot; it’s true, and I’m sad about it.” (I called you an idiot. That was a true statement, and the fact that you are an idiot makes me sad.) **DudleyGarrett** is probably more correct though.. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2008, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butcher-a-phrase-with-the-magic-of-punctuation/442925/37 "2008-03-29T05:53:47Z")
[QUOTE=Moe] Also, not quite in the same vein, but I always wanted to say to a musician named Benjamin: Hey Benjamin, been jamin’? [/QUOTE] I’m not much of a musician. (I’ve only ever composed one piece of music in my life. It wasn’t that good. Followed the circle of fifths as if they were traintracks.) But, if it will make you happy then feel free to say it to me. (I hope I don’t hurt your feelings by mentioning that I’ve heard it a lot.) ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2008, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butcher-a-phrase-with-the-magic-of-punctuation/442925/38 "2008-03-29T12:35:16Z")
I cannot deal with his panics. I cannot deal with hispanics. ---
**Author:** ![Alive\_At\_Both\_Ends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Alive\_At\_Both\_Ends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alive_At_Both_Ends)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2008, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butcher-a-phrase-with-the-magic-of-punctuation/442925/39 "2008-03-29T13:17:29Z")
[QUOTE=Rachael Rage] I read it yet another way, reversing **DudleyGarret** t’s interpretation: “I called you an idiot, it’s true; and I’m sad about it.” (It is true that I called you an idiot and I am sad that I said such a thing.) “I called you an idiot; it’s true, and I’m sad about it.” (I called you an idiot. That was a true statement, and the fact that you are an idiot makes me sad.) **DudleyGarrett** is probably more correct though.. [/QUOTE] No, you are. At least, yours is the interpretation I had in mind when I posted this. I never expected it to generate a debate. Maybe I’m the idiot. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2008, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butcher-a-phrase-with-the-magic-of-punctuation/442925/40 "2008-03-29T13:37:56Z")
I like chicken, salad, and iced tea. I like chicken salad and iced tea. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butcher-a-phrase-with-the-magic-of-punctuation/442925.md?page=1)