# Butcher of Bagdhad: The Fab Five's Greatest Challenge Ever?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butcher-of-bagdhad-the-fab-fives-greatest-challenge-ever/219021>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [December 14, 2003, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butcher-of-bagdhad-the-fab-fives-greatest-challenge-ever/219021 "2003-12-14T23:55:41Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 3\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\
**Post date:** [December 14, 2003, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butcher-of-bagdhad-the-fab-fives-greatest-challenge-ever/219021/1 "2003-12-14T23:55:41Z")

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Name: [Saddam Hussein](http://msnbc.msn.com/id/3708151/)  
Age: 66  
Height: 6’2"  
Weight: 200  
Status: Married with Concubines  
Occupation: Recently Laid Off from Administrative Position  
Category: Castro-meets-90s-grunge  
Location: Bagdhad (soon to be NE)  
Big Event: War Crimes Trial  
Can the Fab Five help him go from sufi slob to chic sheikh in time for his trial? Only the future will tell, but my predictions of how each will help:

Ted: Will teach him how to make a lovely kosher goat and lamb etouffe that will impress investigators and jurors alike

Thom: Will bring a touch of the Arabian nights to his Guantanamo cell with some well hung (you can hear Carson laughing at that one) woven wool textile walls and some functional yet beautiful Turkish rugs and Pottery Barn brass fixtures

Kyan: Will donate the beard to “Locks of Love” and teach him to shave with the grain; maybe a nice mousse worked in from the back will give him a more hip flair

Carson: It’ll be “Who Dat? Hussein!” when Carson reclads him in a versatile and hip yet age appropriate Versace ensemble with just a tad of intricate geometric embroidery to give an exotic feel to the wardrobe

Jai: will fetch pizzas and tell Saddam to make eye contact with jury

Any further suggestions for how the Fab Five can help make Saddam the Shi’ite Slayer to Ladykiller?

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**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\
**Post date:** [December 16, 2003, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butcher-of-bagdhad-the-fab-fives-greatest-challenge-ever/219021/2 "2003-12-16T01:49:36Z")

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His wardrobe will be chosen by the Bureau of Prisons, in stunning DayGlow Orange.

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**Author:** ![leechbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@leechbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leechbabe)\
**Post date:** [December 16, 2003, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butcher-of-bagdhad-the-fab-fives-greatest-challenge-ever/219021/3 "2003-12-16T01:57:00Z")

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What accessories go well with a DayGlow Orange jumpsuit?

I had an idea for the Fab 5 to re-do the British Queen.

Could be called “Queer Eye for the Straight Queen”

_Boom Tish_

Thank-you ladies and gents I will be here all night. 😛