# Butt-Hurt Trump Takes to Twitter Again (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 19, 2016, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butt-hurt-trump-takes-to-twitter-again-part-1/772428 "2016-11-19T15:52:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 284
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2018, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butt-hurt-trump-takes-to-twitter-again-part-1/772428/5661 "2018-12-16T20:03:33Z")
> [@steronz](#): > > Why so many tweets when “I am not a crook” would serve just as well? I wish he at least had the balls to say words that match his actions, which is some variation of “fuck you all I’ll do what the fuck I want”. But he has no balls. ---
**Author:** ![OttoDaFe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ottodafe/32/356_2.png) [@OttoDaFe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OttoDaFe)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2018, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butt-hurt-trump-takes-to-twitter-again-part-1/772428/5662 "2018-12-16T20:22:50Z")
> [@SteveG1](#): > > I wish he at least had the balls to say words that match his actions, which is some variation of > > “fuck you all I’ll do what the fuck I want”. > > **But he has no balls**. (Emphasis added.) Og smash you, now I have this running around in my head (based on the ditty found [here](https://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/881/did-hitler-have-only-one-testicle)):_Rudy has only got one ball, Mike Pence has two, but very small; Spicer is not much nicer, And Donald has no balls at all._ ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2018, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butt-hurt-trump-takes-to-twitter-again-part-1/772428/5663 "2018-12-16T20:56:08Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > Okay SNL, here’s what ya do: > > Next week’s show opens with a very solemn, somber, administrative type in a dark suit and tie coming out and saying sheepishly that they feel bad that the President thinks they’re being unfair to him. So earlier in the week they contacted DJT himself, and offered him the opportunity to write the cold open. Which he did. > > THEN they present a cold open AS IF the President had written it. They imagine DJT’s idea of the right SNL cold open. God, that would be a HOOT to write! The only icky part would be to (in your imagination) crawl inside that vacuous empty space atop thump’s shoulders (inhabited only by a few lonely brain cells being munched on by maggots). But what fun, especially since he has nothing that even resembles a sense of humor. And since whatever cold open thump would come up with would not be funny, there would need to be two very conspicuous individuals with “APPLAUSE” signs on either end of the stage to cue the audience at the appropriate times. > > The jokes could cover all of thump’s fave topics: Crooked Hillary’s emails, Obama’s birth certificate, and then maybe a few dark, bitter “jokes” about the hardships that the kids in the detention camps have brought on themselves. > > And then, of course, the regular punch line “Live! From New York!” etc. > > Oh, please, please, do it. Just use Trumps own words. Except this stopped being funny almost two years ago. He’s a moron and a crook. The only thing he is good at is being a moron. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2018, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butt-hurt-trump-takes-to-twitter-again-part-1/772428/5664 "2018-12-16T21:03:36Z")
> [@SteveG1](#): > > He knows, but he just doesn’t care. I don’t’ think he does know. This is a ‘man’ that was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. He has NEVER had to answer to his actions. He simply does not understand that some things are wrong. He is simply a shark living on the land. But dumber. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2018, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butt-hurt-trump-takes-to-twitter-again-part-1/772428/5665 "2018-12-16T21:42:47Z")
> [@enipla](#): > > I don’t’ think he does know. This is a ‘man’ that was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. He has NEVER had to answer to his actions. He simply does not understand that some things are wrong. > > He is simply a shark living on the land. But dumber. “Born on 3rd base & thinks he scored a touchdown” is how I heard it and I like that description. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2018, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butt-hurt-trump-takes-to-twitter-again-part-1/772428/5666 "2018-12-16T21:54:19Z")
> [@Skywatcher](#): > > Except those children came into the country alone and were only held until they could be placed with relatives or other caretakers. Other than that, yeah, totally the same as indefinitely separating children from their parents. And AFAIK none of those children died in custody. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2018, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butt-hurt-trump-takes-to-twitter-again-part-1/772428/5667 "2018-12-17T03:57:34Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > Okay SNL, here’s what ya do: > > Next week’s show opens with a very solemn, somber, administrative type in a dark suit and tie coming out and saying sheepishly that they feel bad that the President thinks they’re being unfair to him. So earlier in the week they contacted DJT himself, and offered him the opportunity to write the cold open. Which he did. > > THEN they present a cold open AS IF the President had written it. They imagine DJT’s idea of the right SNL cold open. God, that would be a HOOT to write! The only icky part would be to (in your imagination) crawl inside that vacuous empty space atop thump’s shoulders (inhabited only by a few lonely brain cells being munched on by maggots). But what fun, especially since he has nothing that even resembles a sense of humor. And since whatever cold open thump would come up with would not be funny, there would need to be two very conspicuous individuals with “APPLAUSE” signs on either end of the stage to cue the audience at the appropriate times. > > The jokes could cover all of thump’s fave topics: Crooked Hillary’s emails, Obama’s birth certificate, and then maybe a few dark, bitter “jokes” about the hardships that the kids in the detention camps have brought on themselves. > > And then, of course, the regular punch line “Live! From New York!” etc. > > Oh, please, please, do it. Unfortunately, I think last night’s show was the last live one until January. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2018, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butt-hurt-trump-takes-to-twitter-again-part-1/772428/5668 "2018-12-17T06:44:58Z")
> [@Steve\_MB](#): > > Does the smocking gun produce [chocking fumes](https://ansible.uk/misc/eyeargon.html)? That was… I can’t even… Did that… person deliberately set out to write the most appallingly bad pastiche of sword and sorcery fantasy ever extruded upon a gobsmacked world? ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2018, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butt-hurt-trump-takes-to-twitter-again-part-1/772428/5669 "2018-12-17T07:06:01Z")
Short answer: No, it was written by a sixteen-year old fanzine contributor who seriously thought he was taking up the mantle of the creators of Conan the Barbarian. In the interest of avoiding too much digression, there’s a Wikipedia article on the story. Up until a couple of weeks ago, there was also a spot-on MST3K version, but it appears to be disabled. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2018, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butt-hurt-trump-takes-to-twitter-again-part-1/772428/5670 "2018-12-17T07:06:27Z")
Okay, I Googled around and discovered the backstory on that… thing. I’m still slack-jawed. I wouldn’t make it more than a paragraph in before I’d have to hand off to the next reader. Edit: Saw that Wikipedia article, **kaylasdad99** ; but thanks; you slipped in as I was composing my followup post. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2018, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butt-hurt-trump-takes-to-twitter-again-part-1/772428/5671 "2018-12-17T11:12:49Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Short answer: No, it was written by a sixteen-year old fanzine contributor who seriously thought he was taking up the mantle of the creators of Conan the Barbarian. > > In the interest of avoiding too much digression, there’s a Wikipedia article on the story. > > Up until a couple of weeks ago, there was also a spot-on MST3K version, but it appears to be disabled. [The Wayback Machine is your friend.](https://web.archive.org/web/20180130064046/http://www.bmsc.washington.edu/people/merritt/books/Eye_of_Argon.html) ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2018, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butt-hurt-trump-takes-to-twitter-again-part-1/772428/5672 "2018-12-17T13:24:28Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Short answer: No, it was written by a sixteen-year old fanzine contributor who seriously thought he was taking up the mantle of the creators of Conan the Barbarian. > > In the interest of avoiding too much digression, there’s a Wikipedia article on the story. > > Up until a couple of weeks ago, there was also a spot-on MST3K version, but it appears to be disabled. To be fair, Robert E. Howard was actually quite crap… ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2018, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butt-hurt-trump-takes-to-twitter-again-part-1/772428/5673 "2018-12-17T13:33:14Z")
> [@Steve\_MB](#): > > [The Wayback Machine is your friend.](https://web.archive.org/web/20180130064046/http://www.bmsc.washington.edu/people/merritt/books/Eye_of_Argon.html) Holy shit. I haven’t read that in _decades_. THANK YOU. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2018, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butt-hurt-trump-takes-to-twitter-again-part-1/772428/5674 "2018-12-17T13:47:14Z")
Returning to the bleatings of our own Buffoon-in-Chief, his lips trembling with malicious rage, while emitting a muffled sibilant gibberish: > [@Pig Sitting On His Presidential Ass](#): > > Remember, Michael Cohen only became a “Rat” after the FBI did something which was absolutely unthinkable & unheard of until the Witch Hunt was illegally started. They BROKE INTO AN ATTORNEY’S OFFICE! Why didn’t they break into the DNC to get the Server, or Crooked’s office? > [@Knows Nothing Of The Affairs Of The Land](#): > > The Russian Witch Hunt Hoax, started as the “insurance policy” long before I even got elected, is very bad for our Country. They are Entrapping people for misstatements, lies or unrelated things that took place many years ago. Nothing to do with Collusion. A Democrat Scam! ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2018, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butt-hurt-trump-takes-to-twitter-again-part-1/772428/5675 "2018-12-17T13:52:58Z")
iswydt 😃 ---
**Author:** ![jsc1953](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jsc1953](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jsc1953)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2018, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butt-hurt-trump-takes-to-twitter-again-part-1/772428/5676 "2018-12-17T14:41:42Z")
In TrumpWorld, “breaking into an attorney’s office” = “properly executing a search warrant”. I’m tired of TrumpWorld and want to go home. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2018, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butt-hurt-trump-takes-to-twitter-again-part-1/772428/5677 "2018-12-17T14:48:39Z")
> [@jsc1953](#): > > In TrumpWorld, “breaking into an attorney’s office” = “properly executing a search warrant”. > > I’m tired of TrumpWorld and want to go home. I realize that he language skills have been going up in smock, but he _does_ know that calling Cohen a “rat” implies that they _were_, in fact, engaged in criminal activities which Cohen has elected to reveal to the authorities, right? Speaking of language skills: > [@Dumbass-in-Chief](#): > > Anytime you hear a Democrat saying that you can have good Boarder Security without a Wall, write them off as just another politician following the party line. Time for us to save billions of dollars a year and have, at the same time, far greater safety and control! ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2018, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butt-hurt-trump-takes-to-twitter-again-part-1/772428/5678 "2018-12-17T15:03:59Z")
> [@Knows Nothing Of The Affairs Of The Land](#): > > They are Entrapping people for… lies… Um… I don’t think that’s ‘entrapment’. ---
**Author:** ![Celidin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/cc9497/32.png) [@Celidin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celidin)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2018, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butt-hurt-trump-takes-to-twitter-again-part-1/772428/5679 "2018-12-17T15:08:34Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > Um… I don’t think that’s ‘entrapment’. Narrator: “It’s not” ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2018, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butt-hurt-trump-takes-to-twitter-again-part-1/772428/5680 "2018-12-17T15:29:47Z")
It’s terrible how law enforcement officers keep entrapping criminals by investigating them for crimes they’ve committed. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butt-hurt-trump-takes-to-twitter-again-part-1/772428.md?page=283) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butt-hurt-trump-takes-to-twitter-again-part-1/772428.md?page=285)