# "Butthurt"? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [April 9, 2014, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butthurt/685743 "2014-04-09T19:09:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![CurtC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ce73a5/32.png) [@CurtC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CurtC)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butthurt/685743/41 "2014-04-10T17:23:59Z")
> [@racepug](#): > > Now that you mention it, I think you have a point. I still think the term totally **sucks** , though, and is not one that I’ll be using at all if I can possibly help it. I think it’s interesting that, in complaining about a word that you mistakenly thought came from a gay sex slur, you use another word that came from a gay sex slur. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butthurt/685743/42 "2014-04-10T17:26:52Z")
It’s a permutation on the old expression “pain in the ass” (referring to an annoying but ultimately trivial problem). “Butthurt” has a dismissive connotation, in that it denotes a lack of perspective (elevating picayune pain-in-the-ass irritations to the level or genuine crises). ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butthurt/685743/43 "2014-04-10T17:30:54Z")
> [@njtt](#): > > I think that what is most unpleasant about it is precisely that it is used as a way of invalidating someone else’s suffering. It is a nasty way, to which there is no good comeback, of saying your pain does not count. As long as there are people who whine about (supposed) suffering that is trivial and/or their own damn fault, there will be a need for words and phrases to give their poutrage the scornful dismissal they deserve. (Hey, there’s another word you can use if you don’t like “butthurt”.) ---
**Author:** ![doorhinge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a5b964/32.png) [@doorhinge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doorhinge)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butthurt/685743/44 "2014-04-10T17:37:36Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > I’ll take my chances. I’d rather live in a world that has Shakespeare and Lewis Carroll than a world where everything reads like the instruction manual to a stereo. I’m not following your logic. Are you familiar with the contents of an unabridged dictionary? You could use it’s contents to become the next Shakespeare, Lewis Carroll or Chinese translator of my next stereo manual. “If” you wanted to attract readers, that is. ---
**Author:** ![Bozuit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/edb3f5/32.png) [@Bozuit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bozuit)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butthurt/685743/45 "2014-04-10T17:37:43Z")
> [@CurtC](#): > > I think it’s interesting that, in complaining about a word that you mistakenly thought came from a gay sex slur, you use another word that came from a gay sex slur. Only if “butthurt” is male. ---
**Author:** ![doorhinge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a5b964/32.png) [@doorhinge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doorhinge)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butthurt/685743/46 "2014-04-10T17:40:27Z")
> [@CurtC](#): > > I think it’s interesting that, in complaining about a word that you mistakenly thought came from a gay sex slur, you use another word that came from a gay sex slur. Did you just make up that factoid? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butthurt/685743/47 "2014-04-10T18:00:33Z")
> [@doorhinge](#): > > I’m not following your logic. Are you familiar with the contents of an unabridged dictionary? You could use it’s contents to become the next Shakespeare, Lewis Carroll or Chinese translator of my next stereo manual. “If” you wanted to attract readers, that is. No, you can’t. You may become the next Nora Roberts or the next James Patterson. But you will absolutely not become the next Shakespeare if you limit yourself to words that everyone already knows. You seem unfamiliar with the fact that Shakespeare _invented_ more than a few of the words in that unabridged dictionary. ---
**Author:** ![CurtC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ce73a5/32.png) [@CurtC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CurtC)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butthurt/685743/48 "2014-04-10T18:44:24Z")
> [@doorhinge](#): > > Did you just make up that factoid? :dubious: You mean that “sucks” is a gay sex slur? I thought it was obvious, but here you go: From the [Online Etymology Dictionary](http://www.etymonline.com/): > [@](#): > > **Suck** > O.E. sucan, from PIE root \*sug-/\*suk- of imitative origin (cf. O.S., O.H.G. sugan, O.N. suga, M.Du. sughen, Du. zuigen, Ger. saugen “to suck;” L. sugere “to suck,” succus “juice, sap;” O.Ir. sugim, Welsh sugno “to suck”). Meaning “do fellatio” is first recorded 1928. Slang sense of “be contemptible” first attested 1971 (the underlying notion is of fellatio). Suck eggs is from 1906. Suck hind tit “be inferior” is Amer.Eng. slang first recorded 1940. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butthurt/685743/49 "2014-04-10T18:47:23Z")
Where do you see “gay” or “slur” in that? ---
**Author:** ![Blaster\_Master](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cab0a1/32.png) [@Blaster\_Master](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blaster_Master)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butthurt/685743/50 "2014-04-10T19:05:31Z")
Personally, I’m not a fan of the term butthurt, and I don’t use it mostly because it’s a little juvenile for the types of discussions I have, but it does have a specific meaning that is useful. It is definitely derived from the idea of a spanked kid and has nothing to do with anal sex or homophobia. In fact, I think the fact that it’s butthurt implies that, if it were those things, it would be unwanted analsex, but there’s another internet term for that “surprise buttsecks”. In general, the idea being conveyed by butthurt isn’t just an overreaction, but generally a very childish, emotional, and aggressive type of overreaction. The whole point of the term isn’t to just say that it’s an overreaction, but to point out and demean the person for having that type of reaction. For example, as a gamer, I see it a lot in gaming related forums when they do rebalances. It’s not uncommon to see an overpowered ability get properly nerfed, then see a thread where people who play that class come in and complain about how they’ve ruined the game, that they “always” nerf that class but not another, threaten to quit the game, etc. In the context, I think calling them butthurt is an apppropriate response, simply telling them they’re overreacting and need to chill out just doesn’t have the bite to it that it needs. Or similarly, particularly with how popular comic movies have been recently, I’ve seen people complain about how they’re “ruining” things for not exactly matching the comic books. I feel the same sort of demeaning response makes sense in that context. That said, I think anyone who uses it outside of silly internet debates is being ridiculous. I’ve heard it used in real life political discussions. And that’s just poor form, in my opinion. ---
**Author:** ![doorhinge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a5b964/32.png) [@doorhinge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doorhinge)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butthurt/685743/51 "2014-04-10T19:33:36Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > No, you can’t. You may become the next Nora Roberts or the next James Patterson. But you will absolutely not become the next Shakespeare if you limit yourself to words that everyone already knows. You seem unfamiliar with the fact that Shakespeare _invented_ more than a few of the words in that unabridged dictionary. I happen to believe that Shakespeare was the first (that historians are currently aware of, anyway) to document many of the words that were in common oral use during his time. Altering currently used words or changing nouns to verbs, etc, would still allow ol’ Will to communicate to his audience. Inventing words or speaking Klingon would have confused his audience and they would have been unable to follow Will’s train of thought. IMHO, of course. ---
**Author:** ![doorhinge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a5b964/32.png) [@doorhinge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doorhinge)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butthurt/685743/52 "2014-04-10T19:42:27Z")
> [@CurtC](#): > > You mean that “sucks” is a gay sex slur? I thought it was obvious, but here you go: > > From the [Online Etymology Dictionary](http://www.etymonline.com/): I think you may have posted the wrong link. I don’t see anything obvious, subtle, or even hidden in there that suggests what you are suggesting. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butthurt/685743/53 "2014-04-10T19:48:33Z")
> [@racepug](#): > > **A** ) know where the term originated, and **B** ) have a problem with it being used in its usual context as I do? A. No B. No ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butthurt/685743/54 "2014-04-10T19:51:31Z")
U mad bro? I bet you don’t even lift. I also assumed “butthurt” meant “you’re mad because your ass hurts because I just raped you!” (in Halo or Call of Duty or something…not literally). ---
**Author:** ![Measure\_for\_Measure](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/measure_for_measure/32/557_2.png) [@Measure\_for\_Measure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Measure_for_Measure)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butthurt/685743/55 "2014-04-10T19:58:35Z")
> [@Is "butt hurt" an anti-gay slur?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-butt-hurt-an-anti-gay-slur/652597/4): > > I always read it to mean “pissy in the manner of a small child who just got spanked and is acting indignant over something that was both petty and well deserved”. > [@Pedro](#): > > I always assumed it was a reference to anal sex. The person seeks the sex, supposedly because it’s pleasurable, but then complains after the act because their butt is sore. I imagine somebody slipping on a banana peel, falling down, resentfully rubbing their hurt ass, _then peering around for somebody to blame when it’s their own damn fault._ Butthurt. ---
**Author:** ![Pedro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/919ad9/32.png) [@Pedro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pedro)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butthurt/685743/56 "2014-04-10T20:46:59Z")
It definitely carries tones of dominance and defeat, but I don’t see it as forced (“Please fuck me. Ouch, not that HARD!”). Wonderful range in such a short expression. ---
**Author:** ![racepug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@racepug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racepug)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butthurt/685743/57 "2014-04-10T20:53:59Z")
> [@SpeedwayRyan](#): > > It’s a pretty funny term either way, but I always assumed it was an anal sex reference too. Like, after someone has their way with you, you sit around crying and butthurt. I never really considered any other meaning…when I first heard it, it seemed too insulting and mean-spirited/degrading to mean something about a kid getting spanked. Yeah. This business about it referring to someone having been spanked? I don’t buy it. Not for one moment. ---
**Author:** ![racepug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@racepug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racepug)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butthurt/685743/58 "2014-04-10T20:56:45Z")
> [@doorhinge](#): > > While communication is definitely a two-way street, it is Person A who is attempting to transmit a message/thought to Person B. Using made-up or non-standard words isn’t going to help the situation. Person B has the option of asking for clarification from Person A, but as you can see from this thread, many people don’t make the effort or stick with their own definition of the word. > > A good rule of thumb is that if YOU are trying to reach an audience, YOU need to speak a language that your audience understands. Or you can spend time straitening out any misconceptions later. I totally agree. That other poster brought up the term “niggardly,” which, it is true, DOES have a long history in the English language. But if you’re going to use that term then you’d better be damned sure that your audience knows what that word is and knows what it means or it will likely be misconstrued whether you think it should be or not. ---
**Author:** ![Pedro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/919ad9/32.png) [@Pedro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pedro)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butthurt/685743/59 "2014-04-10T21:09:29Z")
It probably originated in the immature, for lack of a better word, sub-culture of 4chan. A quick search didn’t turn up any definitive references. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2014, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butthurt/685743/60 "2014-04-10T21:22:05Z")
> [@racepug](#): > > Yeah. This business about it referring to someone having been spanked? I don’t buy it. Not for one moment. The forced anal sex explaination doesn’t make any sense given how the term is used, and the spanking one does. When used in context, “butthurt” means someone expressing pain that doesn’t deserve sympathy - that is, being overly dramatic. The subtext is ‘oh, just get over it already’. Makes sense if the implication is that ‘your pain is childish whining - like a kid’s after being spanked’. Does not make sense if the implication is ‘you have been raped in the ass’. You would _expect_ someone to be in pain if they have been raped in the ass, and their pain would deserve sympathy. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butthurt/685743.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/butthurt/685743.md?page=4)