Buy it. BUY it! NOW, damn you!

[DeVena]

My parents used to drag us to the timeshares for RVs when I was growing up. Ten pounds of steak or a battery-operated TV was the lure. Never bought but at one point each kid had their own itty-bitty TV.

DeHusband and I have been going to the Fairfield pitches for years. Ever since our honeymoon - July in New Orleans. At that point, we would’ve done anything just to be in air conditioning. But we go to at least one pitch a year. Free mini-vacation and sometimes you can even get the restaurant voucher in cash. Bonus!

What I love is the fuzzy math. "You see you spend this much a year (no number written down) but we’re saving you *A MILLION DOLLARS * (written and underlined) over the course of your life if you live 150 years after today. mumble mumble mumble.

We’ve gotten so we critique the pitch. “OK We’re not buying. But you’ll do better with the next couple if you don’t keep confusing making-eye-contact with staring. Also, wouldn’t you feel more comfortable if you actually didn’t loom over us? Really, did we look like we could be intimidated? Oh and invest in mouthwash. Where’s our voucher?”

[Ludovic]

@jjimm

“The greatest thing about these cars is they really hold their value.”

I fell for his horseshit and bought it for $13,000.

Five months later I was made redundant. I went back to the same guy with the value-holding car he’d sold me, in perfect condition - “I need to sell this. How much will you offer me for it, as you told me they hold their value?”

“$9,000”.

Fuck you very much, cuntwad. I gave it to my dad.

(I should have walked out during the test drive, as it was a stick shift, so I put the parking brake on when starting from stationary on a hill, and laughing-boy barked “don’t do that!”)

5 months later and the dealer is only offering %30 less? That is practically holding its value

[Ghanima]

Boyfriend and I did one of those timeshare things when we were in Mexico. We were promised several things, including tickets to the Booze Cruise and a dinner cruise for a two-hour presentation. When it came time to do the sit-down, we basically just stonewalled them. After they realized we weren’t going to buy, they shunted us off to collect our stuff. They made us wait forever for every little thing (hoping we’d change our minds?), and when we finally got our stuff we decided we didn’t want to wait another hour for the “taxi” they arranged. So we snuck out the side door and hopped the fence of the compound!

[Mikemike2]

I went to a time-share presentation with my wife in Mexico also. It was my first time to Mexico and we had two weeks so we had some spare time. I was a virgin to time-share presentations and they got us at a tourist information center. I was looking to book a certain tour for about $75 each, and they asked us if we would like the tour for free? Just show them a valid visa card (we made very sure they could not see the number) and listen to a one hour no obligation presentation. My wife did not want to go as she had been through this before, but I figured it was easy to say no for an hour to get the free tickets.

So we toured the facility (not as nice as the place we were staying) and then were taken to the closing room. I was really suprised that the salesperson thought it was perfectly reasonable to buy a life time committment from a company I had never heard of after a 5 minute spiel without doing any research or background check.

After this salesperson realized he wasn’t making any progress we were shuffled off to a second closer, and then a third. Each using more pressure and getting pretty nasty. I am still annoyed with myself that I willingly submitted to such abuse. I usually don’t go for “free” things because my time is worth something to me and you usually get what you pay for.

But the thing that really peed me off was at the end they did not honor their end of the deal. We were supposed to get a blanket, bottle of kahlua, and the tickets. They just showed us to the door without giving us anything. I made a huge fuss and they took as back to the office. They did not even have tickets of any kind available. They gave us about $20 in cash and that was it. How much fuss can you raise when you are in a country with a legal system you don’t quite trust?

I haven’t accepted any more “presentations”. At the last resort I was at I had found a nice shady spout on a couch in the plaza and was reading a book, but had to move because someone was pitching a time-share nearby.

[Cardinal]

@jjimm

(I should have walked out during the test drive, as it was a stick shift, so I put the parking brake on when starting from stationary on a hill, and laughing-boy barked “don’t do that!”)

I don’t understand that remark. That’s one of the great tricks of manual tranny driving. I’ve used that so many times. How could he have a problem with that?

Anyone had the guy call up and insist that you’re throwing away your chance at promotions and wealth because you won’t buy copier toner over the phone? I asked the guy if people really fall for this stuff. It just made him madder.

[buttonjockey308]

My sweetie and I seek these offers out every time we go to the Caribbean. We’ll ask what the prizes are before we agree to even take the little card from the sales lackeys. If we don’t like the prizes, we’ll just say no thanks and move on. We get a free boat trip or $75.00 off of our car rental every vacation.

What’s really great is just sitting there staring at the salesperson, not saying a word, for like 15 minutes. Just sit there, and stare, like a hungry coyote at a deer carcass.

Then ask for your prizes and go.

[Avarie537]

I entered a drawing to win FABULOUS PRIZES!!! with the full knowledge that I would be contacted by a company looking to sell a timeshare (I wanted the free stuff). They called the other day, so I’ll be going for their pitch in a couple of weeks. I’m not 100% sure what the “reward” is, but I know it includes a $25 restaurant gift card, good at Olive Garden and Smokey Bones. We love Smokey Bones, and our budget is tight, so I’ll listed to a spiel for a dinner out. (Yes I know I need to tip the waiter on the total of the bill, not what’s left after the GC is used.)

I’ll be glad to report back!

[Clothahump]

Been there, done that.

Some time share place in Orlando had a deal where, if you listened to their song and dance, you got tickets to either a Disney location or Universal.

We went. We ate their free breakfast. We did the tour. We listened to the song and dance. We took notes on the various sales techniques they used to get us to sign.

And Univeral Studios really rocked, 'cause it was free!!

[Lynn_Bodoni]

@DeVena

We’ve gotten so we critique the pitch. “OK We’re not buying. But you’ll do better with the next couple if you don’t keep confusing making-eye-contact with staring. Also, wouldn’t you feel more comfortable if you actually didn’t loom over us? Really, did we look like we could be intimidated? Oh and invest in mouthwash. Where’s our voucher?”

[Master_Wang-Ka]

@Mikemike2

at the end they did not honor their end of the deal. We were supposed to get a blanket, bottle of kahlua, and the tickets. They just showed us to the door without giving us anything. I made a huge fuss and they took as back to the office. They did not even have tickets of any kind available. They gave us about $20 in cash and that was it. How much fuss can you raise when you are in a country with a legal system you don’t quite trust?

Mm. Well, there’s always, “Make me happy, now, or I go tell all those other people in your lobby exactly what you just did to me. Very loudly.”

[Eliphalet]

Tuesday I had a salesman try to sell me soffits and fascia. I warned him up front that my wife an I make no decisions over $250 without serious discussions, and therefore we would not be throwing $6k at him that night.

He kept up the hard sell for an hour, measuring this, and demonstrating that, and pointing out this other flaw in our current overhangs, windows, trim, and siding.

Finally my wife come out and says, “Dinner is ready.”

“Thanks for the spiel, Mr. Salesman. But what’s your bottom line for the job?” I ask.

“Well, if you buy RIGHT now, I’ll knock it to $5500, from the $8000 originally quoted.” He replies.

“Not a bad price. I’ll talk it over with my wife, and give you a call on Monday.” I say.

“WHAT??!! This price is good for right now. On Monday, the price is $7500! Don’t you want to buy now at this phenomenal rate?” He’s panicking at this point, as he sees the sale walking away.

“No. I warned you up front that I was not making this decision today. If $7500 is your best price on Monday, it looks like we won’t be doing business. You are about $1750 too high, compared to the other estimates.” As I said this I started heading in to dinner. Mr. Salesman follows me, a wild look in his eyes.

“But…But… We’ve spent all this time looking at the best deals and colors. Aluminum, vinyl, wood! I estimated 7 projects for you!” He sputters.

“You estimated 7 projects. I asked for one, just the faschia and soffits. It took you an hour to get around to giving me a price on that one. I thank you for the price, but… blah, blah blah.”

When he finally left 15 minutes later, he did it with the whole hang-dog, going to the gallows look. Head lowered, walking slowly, like he’s on his way to be fed to the lions. My daughter was laughing at the window, because he looked just like my 3-year-old being put in time-out.

The worst part was that his company was going to get the business until the soap opera dramatics at the end of the presentation.

Eli