# Buy Three, Get Four More Free **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 27, 2005, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buy-three-get-four-more-free/310027 "2005-06-27T12:06:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2005, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buy-three-get-four-more-free/310027/61 "2005-06-28T16:17:13Z")
> [@Tupug Anachi](#): > > Well, they should be more careful. Look what happened to this couple: > > Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent’s house to visit her 95 year old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died,her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning. > > Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble. “Oh no, my dear,” replied granny. “Many years ago, realizing our advanced age we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong.” She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, “He’d still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn’t come along.” My grandfather died in his sleep, and not screaming like his passengers… ---
**Author:** ![merrily](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@merrily](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/merrily)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2005, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buy-three-get-four-more-free/310027/62 "2005-06-28T16:28:58Z")
**MamaTiger** –put tape over the bottom lock, or over the part that goes into the doorframe (can’t think of what it is called) (like the Watergate burglers did). Take the decision out of their hands–obviously they are illiterate. **VB** , sympathy, and, ugh! And how are we coming on the Bobbio front? We have hooks over our bed… :eek: …but all it really says about our moral character is that we were too lazy to take them down, or to put up plants, when we moved in. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2005, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buy-three-get-four-more-free/310027/63 "2005-06-28T16:43:12Z")
**tuppy** BWAAAHAAAHAAAHAAAHAAAHAAA!!! That one’s gonna get told a lot. I still need that tranquilizer gun. It’s never gonna be time to go home today! _WAH!_ ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2005, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buy-three-get-four-more-free/310027/64 "2005-06-28T16:45:11Z")
> [@merrily](#): > > **VB** , sympathy, and, ugh! And how are we coming on the Bobbio front? By estimation, I’ve moved 30 pounds into becoming Bobbio. As of last Wednesday, when I took VunderWife to a doctor’s appointment and I used his scales, I had lost 25 lbs. Seriously, I’m comfortably wearing the next size down in blue jeans, and I had to put a new seat with more padding on my bike because the old one was making my bonier butt hurt. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2005, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buy-three-get-four-more-free/310027/65 "2005-06-28T16:47:36Z")
**Swampy** , do you know yet if Twuck survived today’s procedure? ---
**Author:** ![MagicEyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@MagicEyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicEyes)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2005, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buy-three-get-four-more-free/310027/66 "2005-06-28T17:00:06Z")
\*\*Bobbio, \*\* so sorry to hear about your grandma! I hate Those Phone Calls. I say go to the funeral, if it’s at all possible. My grandma is starting to slip a little–she’s been in good health (for someone in her mid-90s), but she’s starting to get a little fuzzy mentally. Sad to see that happen. I think every time I see her could be the last time. ☹ But congrats on the skinny jeans! **congodwarf,** I’m glad there’s another MMP-er with rabbits! It used to be all dogs around here, and a few cats, but now we have more bunnies! Wheeee!! **Taters,** I hope your dad keeps on doing well! It’s hard to get grumpy old men to eat right and take their medicine–they’re kind of like little boys that way. Happy Anniversary, DogMom and DogDad! It’s no fun to be apart on your anniversary, but think of how much fun you’ll have when you get home! Lots of car troubles in MMP-land. I’m next–I have to get some new tires, and I think I have a little hole in my muffler, and I feel like I’m getting ready for a fresh round of big car repair bills. **ShibbOleth,** The Boy is hysterical! I need to remember that line about opposable thumbs. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2005, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buy-three-get-four-more-free/310027/67 "2005-06-28T17:22:29Z")
> [@VunderBob](#): > > **Swampy** , do you know yet if Twuck survived today’s procedure? Twuck is fine **Bobbio**. I’m going to go get him after work today. Actually, first I’m going to ACBG’s place and he’s going to take me to get Twuck. Then he’s following me out to my house so I can leave Twuck and then we’re going to dinner. All this so that I don’t have two vehicles in town. I can be a real PITA when I wanna be. Actually, I started the PITA thing late yesterday afternoon when he followed me over to the mechanic’s so I could leave Twuck then had to take me home. Then he had to come back to town cause, well he lives in town and he had a meeting last night. I owe big, but that’s ok cause the payback’s always a lot of fun. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2005, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buy-three-get-four-more-free/310027/68 "2005-06-28T17:41:20Z")
And then it rained. 🙂 I don’t mind too much, since it makes my hair look sexy, at least until it dries again! But I did get caught in the rain. Fun times! ---
**Author:** ![Tupug\_Anachi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@Tupug\_Anachi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tupug_Anachi)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2005, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buy-three-get-four-more-free/310027/69 "2005-06-28T18:04:20Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > I still need that tranquilizer gun. It’s never gonna be time to go home today! _WAH!_ Here, try [this](http://members.cox.net/ladysarakat/piggy.swf), sweetums. Just click on the little piggy. It’s a stress reliever. ---
**Author:** ![DogMom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9c0ed/32.png) [@DogMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DogMom)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2005, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buy-three-get-four-more-free/310027/70 "2005-06-28T18:19:48Z")
Thanks for all the anniversary wishes, everyone! We’re both looking forward to…um…finishing our celebration when I get back home. 😃 You don’t realize how many habits you have that are geared around having another person or dog around until you’re by yourself. I caught myself saving “ends” of food the other day…because the dog would like them. And of course, the bed is EVER so much colder at 2am. _sigh_ ---
**Author:** ![Ashes\_Ashes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@Ashes\_Ashes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashes_Ashes)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2005, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buy-three-get-four-more-free/310027/71 "2005-06-28T18:20:33Z")
Ha **Shibby**! I know a few politicians for whom that would be a perfect campaign slogan. “Vote for me–I have opposable thumbs and I’m not afraid to use them!” 'cause opposable thumbs would be a step up. Wow **Bob** , that is amazing, isn’t it? My mom said it made her feel like The Incredible Shrinking Woman. Which makes no sense because she looks nothing like Lily Tomlin. I’m sorry to hear about your Grandmother. Would your surgeon even clear you for travel at this point? Now, we all need to remember that Mrs. Gonzales is Mrs. #3 and rumor has it Mrses #1 & 2 left because he played too many games. So I totally believe those hooks over the bed. Though the most likely place for that swing they bought would be the back yard, I would think. They do dote on their grandchildren though, perhaps they were worried the kids needed a soft place to land. Now as to those chaps the boys picked up, I think that’s just practical. As spiffy as black satin chaps are, why you’d slide right off the horse. When they get one. Perhaps it’s on layaway? And I agree **swampy** , that they need to keep their curtains closed. Mrs Gonzales is quite the trophy wife, but the same cannot be said about the Mr. Which reminds me, I’m behind on my ironing. Pfft! It’ll keep! Today I paid my bills on-line. I am poor. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2005, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buy-three-get-four-more-free/310027/72 "2005-06-28T18:30:07Z")
> [@Ashes](#): > > Now, we all need to remember that Mrs. Gonzales is Mrs. #3 and rumor has it Mrses #1 & 2 left because he played too many games. So I totally believe those hooks over the bed. Though the most likely place for that swing they bought would be the back yard, I would think. Are you sure? What if Mr. Gonzales is a lazy SOB, and wanted to hang deer so he could process his trophy buck while in bed? ---
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2005, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buy-three-get-four-more-free/310027/73 "2005-06-28T18:33:54Z")
**Puggy** , :eek: Condolences and congrats **Bobbio**. No advice on the funeral though. I abhor them. I’m posting from the shop today. Mom elected to stay home. I need to get Quickbooks caught up, but I’m procrastinating. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2005, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buy-three-get-four-more-free/310027/74 "2005-06-28T18:39:17Z")
**Ashes [sup]2[/sup]** I ran down to the store the other day for some Cool Whip and they were out. I asked the manager if they had anymore and he said, “Well, you know, Mrs. Gonzales was just in here.” He needed say no more. He also said that she has a standing special order for lime Jell-O. I wonder what _that’s_ all about. AAAAnyways, Jose and Big Leather Bubba are opening up a combination leather wear/tattoo parlor/liquor store over in the old warehouse on Maple. I’m glad they’re taking such an interest in bringing local business to town. They’re even going to have some kind of celebrity at the grand opening. Something about Mr. International Drummer. Don’t know who he is, but if he’s good enough to be Mr. International Drummer, I guess he plays the drums pretty good. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2005, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buy-three-get-four-more-free/310027/75 "2005-06-28T22:56:38Z")
Where the heck is everybody? It’s been almost 5 hours since the last post and it was mine! Twuck is doing fine. I know y’all were worried about him. That’s prolly why there’s been no posts cause everybody was too upset about Twuck to do anything else. All is well. Please resume the usual nonsense and such now. ---
**Author:** ![gardentraveler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gardentraveler/32/3576_2.png) [@gardentraveler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gardentraveler)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2005, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buy-three-get-four-more-free/310027/76 "2005-06-28T23:02:16Z")
Well, it _is_ encouraging to hear that Jose and Bubba are exercising that entrepreneurial spirit. **Bob,** so sorry about your grandmother. She sounded like one cool lady. I’m thinking that it would be good to go to the funeral, as long as you’re pretty close to your family. The most important part is that you actually got to see her earlier, but if you’re up to it, hanging out with family and reminiscing will probably help everyone. **Shibb** , the Boy is way too clever. Made me laugh a lot. **Puggy** , funny joke… also made me laugh a lot. We’ve been getting rain today too, although it seems to have cleared up for a while. We went about 3 weeks with practically nothing, then had a bit Saturday and some more last night and today. Hopefully things will revive now. GT ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Tiger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Mama\_Tiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Tiger)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2005, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buy-three-get-four-more-free/310027/77 "2005-06-28T23:20:53Z")
I’m sorry about your grandmother, **Bob**. My grandmother passed on a couple years ago at age 102, and I still miss her. I swear it felt like she was going to live forever. I vote for going to the funeral, too. I’m definitely going to put tape over the doorknob, **merrily** , if the house gets shown again – knock wood, the idiot realtor who messed up the locks called my realtor this afternoon to say her clients are definitely going to be making an offer. So, knock wood, I won’t have to have more strange people trooping through my house. Today was the be all and end all of strange people – nearly 50 realtors came by for an open house. My realtor brought tons of food over, and my dogs and I went and sat out in the shade on the patio at the back of the yard where it was actually comfortable (which in New Orleans in the summer is kinda desirable) for the two hours the ravening horde descended, and by the time the dogs were allowed back inside, all the food was gone. Man, you’d think that bum could have saved me at least _one_ sandwich, considering I could sit out in the yard watching people sitting at my dining table eating and drinking. :eek: **FCM** , I’m glad you got off so easily with your check engine light. Mine went on a few months ago, and it turned out it was a blown gasket that fouled the whole engine, and they had to do nearly two grand of work to get it all back to normal. :eek: That was definitely not the most fun day of my life, hearing that bad news. I’m glad Twuck is okay, **Swampy**. It’s very important that our Mechanical Friends be in good health. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2005, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buy-three-get-four-more-free/310027/78 "2005-06-28T23:27:17Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > Where the heck is everybody? It’s been almost 5 hours since the last post and it was mine! > > Twuck is doing fine. I know y’all were worried about him. That’s prolly why there’s been no posts cause everybody was too upset about Twuck to do anything else. All is well. Please resume the usual nonsense and such now. I’ve been quiet 'cuz I’m busy trying to find someone to fly my carcass back to Indiana so I can go funeralizing. Yeah, I decided to go. I talked to my aunt for a minute. Granny was being visited by the chaplain and they said the Lord’s Prayer together, and the chaplain noticed something wasn’t right. She went to get the nurse, a couple of them showed up, and Granny just drifted away surrounded by the people who were taking immediate care of her. I approve, since the aunt in question is a bit of a cold witch, but that’s a story for later. **Swampy** , I’m glad Twuck is OK. No problems with anesthesia or infection? Most importantly, how was the procedure the Twuck mechanics did to relieve the swelling in your wallet? ---
**Author:** ![Ashes\_Ashes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@Ashes\_Ashes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashes_Ashes)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2005, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buy-three-get-four-more-free/310027/79 "2005-06-29T00:22:08Z")
Y’know **swampy** , it’s funny you mentioned the boys talking and their grand opening. Now while I won’t tell you what I think about opening _another_ leather wear/tattoo parlor/liquor store when we already have three on that side of town alone, I think I’ll take Aunt ThedaDelle and Uncle Hollis to their grand opening. Uncle Hollis is feeling a bit poorly these days (he turned 85 last april, bless his heart) and since Uncle Hollis has always been clever-like with his hands, that Mr International Drummer sounds like something he’d really like. If we’re lucky, he might even pick up something he’d enjoy owning! As for the Gonzales’, I think the less said about the jello incident, _the better_. Why, it took me two weeks before I could look Mayor Halloway in the eyes. Miss Beula’s cat Mr. Winkles is still missing and the other’n hasn’t been quite right since. At least Cousin RosaLee’s garden spade was returned, but who would want it now? Silly **Bob** , he would never hang a deer in the bedroom. Everybody knows you do that in the bathroom. Much easier clean up, even if it is a tight squeeze. And I’m glad you decided to go to Indiana. It usually turns out to have been the best option to choose. It’s 105 degrees here today. Why does the sun hate us so? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2005, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buy-three-get-four-more-free/310027/80 "2005-06-29T00:47:28Z")
> [@Ashes](#): > > It’s 105 degrees here today. Why does the sun hate us so? It’s only 88 here… …with a humidity level of 72 %. _pant pant_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buy-three-get-four-more-free/310027.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buy-three-get-four-more-free/310027.md?page=5)