# Buy your own penguin **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 6, 2003, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buy-your-own-penguin/173405 "2003-05-06T15:00:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Kiger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Kiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiger)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buy-your-own-penguin/173405/1 "2003-05-06T15:00:15Z")
Please someone tell me this is a joke. [Penguins R’ Us](http://www.penguinwarehouse.com/) I especially like the questions and answers: How do I return a defective penguin? Apparently you don’t, but it comes with a 30 day guarantee. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![SanibelMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@SanibelMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanibelMan)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buy-your-own-penguin/173405/2 "2003-05-06T15:11:21Z")
This looks like it must be a joke. Anyone in Eau Claire want to call the phone number and check it out? ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buy-your-own-penguin/173405/3 "2003-05-06T15:22:03Z")
“Rid house of pesky krill.” You know, I’ve been trying to figure out the best way to do that. Funny stuff. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buy-your-own-penguin/173405/4 "2003-05-06T15:23:05Z")
Already got one. Thanks ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buy-your-own-penguin/173405/5 "2003-05-06T15:39:00Z")
I’ll take one of the life size penguin robots (Toy section). Who needs a monkey butler? ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buy-your-own-penguin/173405/6 "2003-05-06T15:40:02Z")
If I put it on my television, will it explode? ---
**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buy-your-own-penguin/173405/7 "2003-05-06T15:55:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by twickster \* > \*\*“Rid house of pesky krill.” > > You know, I’ve been trying to figure out the best way to do that. > > \*\* If you don’t have a problem with krill infestation you can order _Bag O Krill_ for $14.55. “Be sure your penguin grows healthy, wealthy, and wise with Bag O Krill.” ---
**Author:** ![heresiarch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/278dde/32.png) [@heresiarch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heresiarch)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buy-your-own-penguin/173405/8 "2003-05-06T18:27:28Z")
> [@](#): > > Q: Why does my penguin keep bumping into walls? > A: Penguins, like humans, are prone to eye deterioration over time. Vision correction may be necessary for your penguin’s welfare. We highly suggest laser surgery correction as many penguins do not take well to eyewear. :dubious: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![jessicala](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/eb9ed0/32.png) [@jessicala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jessicala)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buy-your-own-penguin/173405/9 "2003-05-06T21:28:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Michael Ellis \* > \*\*If I put it on my television, will it explode? \*\* [Try this one.](http://www.toyvault.com/montypython/index.html) (Scroll down to the bottom.) ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buy-your-own-penguin/173405/10 "2003-05-06T21:42:39Z")
Ooh! I want a penguin! A giant electric penguin 20 feet tall! With stinging tentacles! ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buy-your-own-penguin/173405/11 "2003-05-06T21:54:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Johnny L.A. \* > \*\*Ooh! I want a penguin! A giant electric penguin 20 feet tall! With stinging tentacles! \*\* **Johnny** , what have we told you about eating the green food at the back of the fridge? ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buy-your-own-penguin/173405/12 "2003-05-06T21:59:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Johnny L.A. \* > \*\*Ooh! I want a penguin! A giant electric penguin 20 feet tall! With stinging tentacles! \*\* We could just send **DreadCthulhu** for a visit! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buy-your-own-penguin/173405/13 "2003-05-06T22:59:11Z")
I would name my penguin Danny DeVito. I would krill to own one. ---
**Author:** ![FaerieBeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e95f7d/32.png) [@FaerieBeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FaerieBeth)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buy-your-own-penguin/173405/14 "2003-05-07T00:07:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DMark \* > \*\*I would krill to own one. \*\* Bwahahahaha. Thank you for my laugh of the day. FaerieBeth ---
**Author:** ![bdgr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a87d85/32.png) [@bdgr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bdgr)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buy-your-own-penguin/173405/15 "2003-05-07T00:47:36Z")
[http://www.snopes.com/critters/farce/penguins.htm](http://www.snopes.com/critters/farce/penguins.htm) ---
**Author:** ![DreadCthulhu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/db5fbb/32.png) [@DreadCthulhu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DreadCthulhu)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buy-your-own-penguin/173405/16 "2003-05-07T01:26:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Polycarp \* > \*\*We could just send **DreadCthulhu** for a visit! 😛 \*\* First of all, I am more than 20 ft tall. Secondly, while I have wings, my lack of feathers indicates that I am not a penguin. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buy-your-own-penguin/173405/17 "2003-05-07T03:05:08Z")
But, what do you taste like? ---
**Author:** ![samarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@samarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samarm)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buy-your-own-penguin/173405/18 "2003-05-07T03:37:27Z")
Well, someone must have bought a penguin. And that penguin must have signed up with the Mafia. Meet our newest member (and don’t piss him off or he’ll whack you): [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/member.php?s=&action=getinfo&userid=34777](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/member.php?s=&action=getinfo&userid=34777) 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Salem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@Salem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Salem)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buy-your-own-penguin/173405/19 "2003-05-07T04:17:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Michael Ellis \* > \*\*If I put it on my television, will it explode? \*\* Yes, yes indeed it would. For now it’s time for the penguin on top of your telly to blow up. Thank you, **Michael** , I really needed to say that. ---
**Author:** ![Salem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@Salem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Salem)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buy-your-own-penguin/173405/20 "2003-05-07T04:22:47Z")
And that was my loooong time coming 100th post! (if you check my registration date, you’ll see what I mean) How perfect could that be. Now I thank you twice as much **Michael Ellis** , sir.😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buy-your-own-penguin/173405.md?page=2)