# Buzz Lightyear of Barsoom? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 13, 2007, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buzz-lightyear-of-barsoom/422562 "2007-10-13T06:07:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2007, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buzz-lightyear-of-barsoom/422562/81 "2007-10-17T19:35:38Z")
[QUOTE=Malacandra] I already admitted as much about the rants, but John Carter is pulp writing, no better. [/QUOTE] Agreed. I mean, Barsoomians have “radium pistols,” but fight most of their fights with swords?! That makes no sense except as picturesqueness. And you’d think even equatorial Mars would be cold enough to require some clothing. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2007, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buzz-lightyear-of-barsoom/422562/82 "2007-10-17T21:35:48Z")
[QUOTE=Scumpup] Oh, I see…since it’s _slaves_ they’re raping, that makes all the difference. [/QUOTE] In Gorean society, most certainly. Equally, the slaves know this, and aren’t horrified or broken by it the way a real-world person or a Gorean free woman would be. Slaves have no more rights than animals - they are not even legally “persons”. But in the books, it is rare indeed for any slave girl to find her lot hateful. One and only one spectacularly commits suicide in _Assassin of Gor_, and that after years of cruel treatment by one of the most vicious and evil characters in the series. Most end up loving their condition and devoted to one strong master whose relationship with them can hardly be considered that of rapist to victim as we would understand the term. How extensive is your knowledge of the books you so weigh against? ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2007, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buzz-lightyear-of-barsoom/422562/83 "2007-10-17T21:44:56Z")
[QUOTE=shy guy] I’d veto Vin Diesel, but Daniel Craig would be great provided he doesn’t mind running around in a pair of metal briefs, a harness, and a cape. [/QUOTE] Actually, IIRC, Barsoomians don’t wear capes. Except in the Arctic region, they wear nothing but jewelry and leather “harnesses” (the description of the latter being vague enough that an ingenious director might make one into a censor-friendly _cache-sexe_ without blatantly sacrificing authenticity). ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2007, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buzz-lightyear-of-barsoom/422562/84 "2007-10-17T21:48:02Z")
[QUOTE=Malacandra] How extensive is your knowledge of the books you so weigh against? [/QUOTE] I’ve read all of them that were published up through the very early 1980’s. The last one I read was a badly written viking story. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2007, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buzz-lightyear-of-barsoom/422562/85 "2007-10-17T21:58:31Z")
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton] Agreed. I mean, Barsoomians have “radium pistols,” but fight most of their fights with swords?! That makes no sense except as picturesqueness. And you’d think even equatorial Mars would be cold enough to require some clothing. [/QUOTE] They have radium pistols and a whole raft of other weapons too. It’s a peculiarity of the Red Martian concept of honor that one uses an equal or lesser weapon in honorable single combat. We don’t see the radium pistols used much because it is typically only the villains who are willing to draw one first. The typical Red Martian men prefer to duel with swords. If you consider their fighting a form of dueling, it makes perfect sense. Duels with swords persisted alongside duels with pistols well into the 19th century in the real world. The Red Martians, it seems, simply hold swords in higher esteem for honorable combat. The Green Martians, it should be noted, are excellent marksmen and freely use radium weapons. Possibly the relative disdain the Red Martians have for guns is because they associate them with the barbaric and sadistic Green Martians. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2007, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buzz-lightyear-of-barsoom/422562/86 "2007-10-17T22:13:41Z")
[QUOTE=Scumpup] They have radium pistols and a whole raft of other weapons too. It’s a peculiarity of the Red Martian concept of honor that one uses an equal or lesser weapon in honorable single combat. We don’t see the radium pistols used much because it is typically only the villains who are willing to draw one first. The typical Red Martian men prefer to duel with swords. If you consider their fighting a form of dueling, it makes perfect sense. Duels with swords persisted alongside duels with pistols well into the 19th century in the real world. The Red Martians, it seems, simply hold swords in higher esteem for honorable combat. The Green Martians, it should be noted, are excellent marksmen and freely use radium weapons. Possibly the relative disdain the Red Martians have for guns is because they associate them with the barbaric and sadistic Green Martians. [/QUOTE] Please note that the Red Martians _have no problem whatsoever_ with using the main guns of their aerial battleships to bombard the fudge out of the Greens, who _have no_ airships. The Greens use huge caliber radium rifles with sniper accuracy, though. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2007, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buzz-lightyear-of-barsoom/422562/87 "2007-10-17T22:26:56Z")
[QUOTE=Scumpup] They have radium pistols and a whole raft of other weapons too. It’s a peculiarity of the Red Martian concept of honor that one uses an equal or lesser weapon in honorable single combat. We don’t see the radium pistols used much because it is typically only the villains who are willing to draw one first. The typical Red Martian men prefer to duel with swords. If you consider their fighting a form of dueling, it makes perfect sense. Duels with swords persisted alongside duels with pistols well into the 19th century in the real world. The Red Martians, it seems, simply hold swords in higher esteem for honorable combat. [/QUOTE] But, IIRC, the Red Martians mainly use swords for full-scale **battle** as well as duels. On Earth, swords were phased out on the battlefield as fast as firearms were phased in, because an army that didn’t keep up with the latest weapons wouldn’t last long, and a sword is mostly useless when your enemy has a rifle. Mars seems to have somehow escaped that Darwinian selection process in tactics. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2007, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buzz-lightyear-of-barsoom/422562/88 "2007-10-17T22:35:27Z")
Well, that’s due to the little known fact that no one with a name can be killed with a radium pistol, only unnamed martians, and then only during naval battles. Anyone with a name must either be killed with a sword, with your bare hands, torn apart by wild animals, or very rarely by falling from a great height. Although falling from a great height isn’t as effective a method as you might think. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2007, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buzz-lightyear-of-barsoom/422562/89 "2007-10-17T22:39:26Z")
[QUOTE=Lemur866] Although falling from a great height isn’t as effective a method as you might think. [/QUOTE] Not in Martian gravity! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2007, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buzz-lightyear-of-barsoom/422562/90 "2007-10-17T23:05:26Z")
A few Barsoom questions: who were the Therns? And where was the Omean Sea? ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2007, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buzz-lightyear-of-barsoom/422562/91 "2007-10-17T23:12:52Z")
The Omean Sea was buried 2 miles beneath the South Pole of Mars. The Therns were the main Baddies in _Gods of Mars_. They were a race of white-skinned Martians that proclaimed themselves gods. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2007, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buzz-lightyear-of-barsoom/422562/92 "2007-10-17T23:18:33Z")
After the seas dried up, the surviving white, yellow, and black martians mixed together to create the race of red martians. Therns were the last remnant of the white Martians, who lived at the south pole. And those who took the journey down the river Iss ended up at the lost sea of Korus, where they got their blood sucked by plant men. And the therns ate the flesh of the exsanguinated victims. Omean was the subterranean sea at the south pole, inhabited by the black pirates of Barsoom, the last remnants of the black race. Of course, at the north pole was the last remnant of the yellow race. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2007, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buzz-lightyear-of-barsoom/422562/93 "2007-10-17T23:25:43Z")
[QUOTE=Lemur866] And the therns ate the flesh of the exsanguinated victims. [/QUOTE] Cool! ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2007, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buzz-lightyear-of-barsoom/422562/94 "2007-10-17T23:33:06Z")
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton] But, IIRC, the Red Martians mainly use swords for full-scale **battle** as well as duels. On Earth, swords were phased out on the battlefield as fast as firearms were phased in, because an army that didn’t keep up with the latest weapons wouldn’t last long, and a sword is mostly useless when your enemy has a rifle. Mars seems to have somehow escaped that Darwinian selection process in tactics. [/QUOTE] As Bosda already noted, the Reds had no qualms about blasting the Greens mercilessly with serious naval artillery. They would, I say, preferentially use swords in combat with other Reds. It’s an honor thing. Red men fighting Red men was one thing. Red men keeping the Greens down to a tolerable number was another. The Reds, as far as I can remember, don’t fight wars of conquest against each other. The fighting mainly seems to be just because they like to fight. In that fictional context, where the idea is cover yourself with honor, using the most efficiently lethal weapon isn’t the no-brainer choice it would be in the real world. Their massed combat seems to be little more than an assload of individual combats all taking place simultaneously. I may be wrong, but I don’t remember ERB indicating that they fought in formations or had any kind of unit cohesion. ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2007, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buzz-lightyear-of-barsoom/422562/95 "2007-10-17T23:34:57Z")
I like the idea of all those gogeous martian women running around in thongs and pasties-but given the censorship in this country, will we ever see this? Mars (Barsoom) is described as pretty cold-so why the Martian prediliction for nudity? ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2007, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buzz-lightyear-of-barsoom/422562/96 "2007-10-17T23:46:14Z")
High beams? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2007, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buzz-lightyear-of-barsoom/422562/97 "2007-10-18T00:02:16Z")
[QUOTE=ralph124c] so why the Martian prediliction for nudity? [/QUOTE] Perhaps ERB was attempting to appeal to certain readers who were very like Some Male Dopers. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2007, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buzz-lightyear-of-barsoom/422562/98 "2007-10-18T00:03:54Z")
[QUOTE=ralph124c] I like the idea of all those gogeous martian women running around in thongs and pasties-but given the censorship in this country, will we ever see this? Mars (Barsoom) is described as pretty cold-so why the Martian prediliction for nudity? [/QUOTE] Sure, we will, if the Pixar version is a big success, we need only wait for the inevitable softcore parody/ripoff. It will have gorgeous nude Martian women – but it will suck in EVERY OTHER RESPECT. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2007, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buzz-lightyear-of-barsoom/422562/99 "2007-10-18T00:29:07Z")
[QUOTE=Evil Captor] Sure, we will, if the Pixar version is a big success, we need only wait for the inevitable softcore parody/ripoff. It will have gorgeous nude Martian women – but it will suck in EVERY OTHER RESPECT. [/QUOTE] Except for one, because otherwise it wouldn’t be soft-core. ---
**Author:** ![BMax](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bmax/32/4267_2.png) [@BMax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMax)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2007, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buzz-lightyear-of-barsoom/422562/100 "2007-10-18T00:37:13Z")
[QUOTE=GuanoLad] Spoken like a man who has never watched a Pixar film. [/QUOTE] I’ve seen Toy Story, Toy Story2, Bug’s Life, and Finding Nemo. They were all children’s movies, made for children. Toy Story 2 had more complicated themes than I would have expected from a kids’ movie, but like I said, they were all kids movies. Tom Hanks did a voice in Toy story & TS 2. Looks like I’m conflating Disney movies with their Pixar counterparts re: pop-culture references, Sylvester Stallone/Danny Devito voices and short, fat comic relief characters, and especially Robin Williams. Judging by [http://www.pixar.com/featurefilms/index.html](http://www.pixar.com/featurefilms/index.html) It’ll be another children’s movie. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buzz-lightyear-of-barsoom/422562.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/buzz-lightyear-of-barsoom/422562.md?page=6)