I was at the funeral of a particularly toxic individual, the “eulogy” ended up being more of a fact-based “biography”. That way no one ws taxed with the duty of saying trite things like “beloved family member, sadly missed…” because he was uniformly considered to be a total asshole. The funeral was a formality held only because two family members thought it would be somehow sinful not to have one.
That was the obit that should have been written for an aunt of mine who died a year ago.
Instead I was left wondering, “Am I at the right place? The person they’re talking about sure as hell ain’t the person we’re burying.”
Reminds me. . . need to make a short road trip in the near future. I promised her I would leave something on her grave.
Those new Fiber One bars are really tasty, by the way.
I recall an episode of “Murphy Brown” where Murphy had to eulogize some thoroughly obnoxious character. She nearly tore up all her zingers after learning the frail old lady in the front row was the deceased’s mother. Until someone asked the old lady to speak, and she said, “Well, for starters, it was a 24-hour labor. He had a head like a basketball!”
They ended up using the song Martin wrote for Frank Sinatra instead.
Good God–this could be my obit!
Frankly, I find this obit refreshing–I, too, would like a bit more honesty than the treacle that is more conventional. That obit wasn’t malicious or overly open in its airing of dirty laundry, but it serves as a testimonial to whatever those kids survived. Good for them.
Newspaper is getting a bit of heat.
I was just kinda cruising by this thread, but, in tha reading, my Hon coincidentally put on the Waylon Jennings song Lonesome, Orn’ry and Mean. There ya go, odd synchronicity… Sad tale there of a life, though.
As amusing as this is, I have to admit that in my local newspaper days, I wouldn’t have run this thing. Although we tended to get more boilerplate announcements from funeral homes, not submissions from families. A real obit would’ve been written by me or a reporter, and we wouldn’t have done (or been asked to do) anything like that.
All this reminds me of the florist’s assistant who got the ribbon inscriptions reversed on the two wreaths tht had been ordered. Now this took place in the Upper Midwest during a January cold snap. The couple who had moved to Brisbane, Qld., were amazed to get a floral wreath from their friends back home with a ribbon reading “In Loving Memory.” But that was nothing to the mourners at the funeral home – the ribbon on the wreath delivered there said “Hope You’re Enjoying the Hot Weather Down Under - We’ll Miss You!”
I’ve always said that if anyone hates me while I’m alive, I hope they have the decency to hate me after I’m dead.
Looks like she had NINE children, two of whom pre-deceased her. Man, I’d be a surly bitch too if I had nine kids. I’m guessing that, whatever the reason behind all those pregnancies, they weren’t because that’s what she wanted from life. And I wonder what the deal is on the ones who died.
Perhaps they wanted to.
I think Carol Lee Ramie of Kaneohe, Hawaii either doesn’t quite understand the depths of hell that some put others through (Godwin-izing ahead! If Hitler had been a parent, would she have expected his kids to be respectful upon his passing?) or she’s concerned about her own future obituary.
Since we had a sitcom eulogy hijack, I have five words…
Mary Richards
Chuckles the Clown
If I had time today, I’d answer Miss Pollyanna from Hawaii. That obit was honest, civil and dignified. It was not malicious or petty. Sounds to me like Ms P. is uncomfortable with strong emotions and bleak truth. :rolleyes: It seems to me that all nine daughters were united in this obit (and the remaining sons) for it to get published. That alone speaks volumes about the dearth of parenting they received.
Zactly.
This obit is probably the biggest thing that newspaper has done in ages.
Polycarp, ya still got it!!!
Shrug, my grandmother only had three and she’s a surly bitch; I know a family of 10 where they’ve been known to not notice one was missing ( :smack: ) and another where people are so terribly nice (if posessed of sharp tongues) that you wonder if they’re real.
I wouldn’t approve of a reporter writing an obituary like this, but this one came from the deceased’s own family. As as I’m concerned, if your own descendants can’t bring themselves to say something nice about you, you deserve what you get.