# BZZZZZZZZ.... Efficacy of Vibrators **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 13, 2000, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bzzzzzzzz-efficacy-of-vibrators/33057 "2000-09-13T18:32:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bzzzzzzzz-efficacy-of-vibrators/33057/61 "2000-09-14T15:33:21Z")
Woohoo! I’ve been Sigged! And it felt so good! ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bzzzzzzzz-efficacy-of-vibrators/33057/62 "2000-09-14T15:34:34Z")
> [@](#): > > For me, if I feel the need to actually get laid, then an orgasm from a vibrator will help, but it is not going to be enough to get rid of the need to get laid, y’know? It’s just not the same if there isn’t a whole body attached to it. \<\\> Vibrators of all shapes and sizes are swell (I have to swear by the eager beaver/jackrabbit models, btw), but they are ever so much more fun if you have someone with whom to play with them. I mean, you can go to the playground and everything, but what fun is it if there’s no one to play with? Which reminds me…I need to go on a cleaning spree…hrm. ---
**Author:** ![alibey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@alibey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alibey)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bzzzzzzzz-efficacy-of-vibrators/33057/63 "2000-09-14T15:36:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by KimKatt \* > \*\*[very slight hijack] > > Ordering online takes on a whole new twist when one is in Canada and the site is US, though. Customs have a field day. > > [/very slight hijack] \*\* just sending an experiance with customs. when one arrives to Saudi Arabia (military) you have to go through customs. So, I am at the airport picking up my soldier who is coming back from leave. I happen to be standing near the cusoms table while a customs official is going through the luggage of a soldier (female, just got into country) when he pulls out this big black object with a cord on the end. you should have seen the look on his face, he was walking around for 30 minutes holding on to this thing, while figuring out how to handle it. It did make the night a bit more interesting. ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bzzzzzzzz-efficacy-of-vibrators/33057/64 "2000-09-14T15:53:30Z")
Masturbation is simply getting off and if you can improve the experience by playing with toys, why not? Having sex is an entirely different thing. NOTHING can take the place of a warm body to wrap your legs around. You can’t kiss a vibrator or give head to a dildo. . . . er I guess you can, but what would be the point? ---
**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bzzzzzzzz-efficacy-of-vibrators/33057/65 "2000-09-14T16:08:43Z")
> [@](#): > > You can’t kiss a vibrator or give head to a dildo. . . . er I guess you can, but what would be the point? Um, practice. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bzzzzzzzz-efficacy-of-vibrators/33057/66 "2000-09-14T18:11:37Z")
> [@](#): > > Um, practice. Once you reach perfection, who needs practice? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![porcupine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ac91a4/32.png) [@porcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/porcupine)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bzzzzzzzz-efficacy-of-vibrators/33057/67 "2000-09-14T18:16:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by KimKatt \* > \*\*FTR - I’ve never considered a sex toy to be a good replacement for a partner. They are fun, yes. They are more fun when used with a partner. For me, if I feel the need to actually get laid, then an orgasm from a vibrator will help, but it is not going to be enough to get rid of the need to get laid, y’know? It’s just not the same if there isn’t a whole body attached to it. \*\* Umm, yeah, what **KimKatt** said. Orgasm via masturbation takes the edge off temporarily. And yes, I want a whole body. Especially a good tongue. Oh, and for you guys who said “I knew I shouldn’t have opened this thread at work” or words to that effect, what am I missing? I figured out “Satan’s Ass” references, the Mark Serlin poufy hair references, and Wally all without having to ask. I know I am still a newbie, but is “Vibrator” some kind of code word around for “John Deere Riding Mower” or something like that? 😉 You really can’t be surprised that a thread called “BZZZZZZZZZ…Efficacy of Vibrators” would be about anything other than, uh, vibrators, can you? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![KimKatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ac91a4/32.png) [@KimKatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KimKatt)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bzzzzzzzz-efficacy-of-vibrators/33057/68 "2000-09-14T18:19:25Z")
Men like being tortured by women. That’s why they opened it. ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bzzzzzzzz-efficacy-of-vibrators/33057/69 "2000-09-14T19:34:26Z")
You’re right KimKat. I say we gather them all up, take them shopping, then to a small sidewalk cafe’ to chat about our girlfriend’s “female problems” over cucumber finger sandwiches and tea, and then maybe hit a sappy chick flick before we come home for a night of cuddling. ---
**Author:** ![MagicalSilverKey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@MagicalSilverKey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicalSilverKey)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bzzzzzzzz-efficacy-of-vibrators/33057/70 "2000-09-14T20:14:07Z")
Ladies, if you are going to test your new toys for efficacy, can I watch? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bzzzzzzzz-efficacy-of-vibrators/33057/71 "2000-09-14T20:24:59Z")
Well, partly I opened the thread cause its like a car wreck, you just can’t look away. Second you get that nagging feeling you’re missing something. And while incredibly frustrating getting myself turned on is like a drug, I know I shouldn’t, but just this once…Lastly, I had this suspision it was one of those decoy threads, the ones you make sound really exciting but then find some post party, or a “Ha, made you look” thread. The simple answer is that I really like chicks and vibrators and can’t tear myself away. Since I’ll be meeting you, porcupine, I had to investigate what threads you start anyways. So quit giving me a hard time and let me suffer in peace ;). ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bzzzzzzzz-efficacy-of-vibrators/33057/72 "2000-09-14T21:30:27Z")
Ohhhhhhhhh, don’t you ladies just looooove it. . . mmmmmmm, when you slowly run your fingers lightly across your open months, tracing the outline of your full lips, :::sigh::: slowly sinking down your neck, to your breasts, gently teasing each nipple. . . . ahhhhhhh, rolling each between your finger tips. . . . :::tipping head back, opening mouth in a deep breath, tongue tracing bottom lip::: One hand slowly glides further and further down the stomach :::gasp::: opening silky thighs. . . . YO OMNI! Still at work hunny bunny? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![StrTrkr777](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@StrTrkr777](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StrTrkr777)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bzzzzzzzz-efficacy-of-vibrators/33057/73 "2000-09-14T22:16:09Z")
Dang it Diane, I am still at work. The other stuff was arousing reading. 😉 But your last post was just too much. How is any red-blooded American male (or any male for that matter) supposed to read something like that and be able to stand in public? I am not complaining mind you. Feel free to write about such “encounters” as often as you wish, just give a bit more warning. _Honey, I am coming home. Hope you are in the mood._ Jeffery ---
**Author:** ![Dylan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e95f7d/32.png) [@Dylan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dylan)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2000, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bzzzzzzzz-efficacy-of-vibrators/33057/74 "2000-09-14T23:56:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by KimKatt \* > **Men like being tortured by women.** now Kim, that is a whole other thread… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![dragonlady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@dragonlady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragonlady)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2000, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bzzzzzzzz-efficacy-of-vibrators/33057/75 "2000-09-15T00:01:56Z")
We’ve always called those parties “Toys for Twats”! ---
**Author:** ![Homer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@Homer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homer)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2000, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bzzzzzzzz-efficacy-of-vibrators/33057/76 "2000-09-15T00:09:50Z")
Oh geez. After reading this thread… glad no one’s home… UseNet, here I come. –Tim’s sig is so suitable. ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2000, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bzzzzzzzz-efficacy-of-vibrators/33057/77 "2000-09-15T00:37:22Z")
Here’s one of my interesting expierences with vibrators. One time my mom called me, and wanted me to write down some information, so I reached into the nightstand to get a pen…and bumped it…and it goes on…and my mom…(MY MOM!) hears it and asks “what’s that noise?” '\*\*\*Ummmm…The alarm clock just went off, mom." I blushed bright red. ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2000, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bzzzzzzzz-efficacy-of-vibrators/33057/78 "2000-09-15T00:37:45Z")
> [@](#): > > Honey, I am coming home. Hope you are in the mood. Glad to be of . . . . . um. . . . service. :::giggle::: Actually, after I re-read my post, I thought it sounded a little lame. I left out key erotica words like “glistening”, “throbbing”, “pulsating”, and “moist”. Can I have do-overs please? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![KimKatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ac91a4/32.png) [@KimKatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KimKatt)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2000, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bzzzzzzzz-efficacy-of-vibrators/33057/79 "2000-09-15T02:12:27Z")
Checking out **Globe-trotter’s** FABULOUS site suggestions (thank you thank you thank you), here is one of the more interesting product descriptions: > [@](#): > > 3 Replacement Nozzles > Three attachments, which fit on the end of a threaded 7/8" hose, provide a completely unique form of pleasure. The package contains three replacement nozzles (two black and one clear). Onto the end of a HOSE. Okay. That just gave a whole new meaning to “water pressure.” [sub]sounds wilder when it is implied to be garden hose, which it’s not.[/sub] While I have seen sites with much more, ummm, interesting collections and selections of toys, these are Canadian - no customs hassles! Woo-hoo! **Globe-trotter** - the folks down at MasterCard, happily collecting interest on my newly-inflated balance, thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2000, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bzzzzzzzz-efficacy-of-vibrators/33057/80 "2000-09-15T02:17:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Diane \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > Um, practice. > > Once you reach perfection, who needs practice? 😛 \*\* You know at first glance I thought it read: > [@](#): > > \*\*Once you reach erection, who needs practice? 😛 \*\* :::::::ducks and runs::::::: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bzzzzzzzz-efficacy-of-vibrators/33057.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bzzzzzzzz-efficacy-of-vibrators/33057.md?page=5)