# C.K. Dexter Haven, what is "this"? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 3, 2006, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven-what-is-this/338172 "2006-01-03T02:16:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven-what-is-this/338172/41 "2006-01-03T03:58:27Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > So, exactly what board rule was broken by the thread in question? > > Is this another case of people just failing to ignore what they don’t like for some reason? The thread was clearly titled. The very nebulous one about being a jerk, apparently. I’m not sure I agree with Dex’s reasoning, but his ruling was very clear. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven-what-is-this/338172/42 "2006-01-03T04:07:04Z")
> [@Larry Mudd](#): > > My personal limit was reached a couple of days ago, in the “Best part of the movie is totally unlike the rest of the movie” thread. > > OMG! An otherwise unremarkable scifi movie featured chrome chastity belts and bridles on slave workers! > > Give it a fucking rest. I have no problem with bondage. It’s just fucking _tedious_ when one person brings it up incessantly. > > It’s not shocking, offensive, or repellent. It’s just boring. But you weren’t bored by the thread where I posted about Joan Prather introducing John Travolta to Scientology … or where I opined that Princess Ardala in Buck Rogers was bisexual … or where I said hard cider was my favorite booze … or the thread I started about “funny” studio accounting practices … I think it only fair that you find ALL my posts boring! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven-what-is-this/338172/43 "2006-01-03T04:17:51Z")
> [@Evil Captor](#): > > I’m not sure I agree with Dex’s reasoning, but his ruling was very clear. If it was so very clear, then why did you start a Pit thread claiming that you don’t understand the ruling? ---
**Author:** ![Metacom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecae2f/32.png) [@Metacom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Metacom)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven-what-is-this/338172/44 "2006-01-03T04:19:10Z")
> [@Evil Captor](#): > > Y’know, in the Pit thread I counted all the posts I made and and then calculated the number about bondage as a percentage of them. It came out to less than eight percent, IIRC [size altered by Metacom] … definitely somewhere in there. And that included posts where the references to bondage were extremely circuitous and mild, the sort anyone might make. So I really think you are mischaracterizing my posting history in a major way, Metacom. You kind of just made my point for me. Let’s take the ratio of “posts with the word ‘bondange’ in them” to “total posts” for some of our more prolific posters (and myself, to be fair) and list them in descending order. Not an exact metric, obviously, but perhaps it will illuminate things: ```auto Evil Captor 182/ 7,685 = %2.368 Metacom 2 / 3,755 = %0.053 Frank 2 / 5,278 = %0.038 Bricker 3 / 12,866 = %0.023 Guinastasia 4 / 25,559 = %0.016 Liberal 3 / 25,192 = %0.012 Diogenes 2 / 17,070 = %0.011 John Mace 1 / 15,003 = %0.006 ``` If we exclude you, the ration is 17/102,723 = %0.017. Your ratio is 139 times that. That’s over two orders of magnitude. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven-what-is-this/338172/45 "2006-01-03T04:20:17Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > If it was so very clear, then why did you start a Pit thread claiming that you don’t understand the ruling? Because that was then and this is now. In any event, I want to spend a little time thinking about this before I post further on the topic. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven-what-is-this/338172/46 "2006-01-03T04:29:48Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > So, exactly what board rule was broken by the thread in question? > > Is this another case of people just failing to ignore what they don’t like for some reason? The thread was clearly titled. I agree. If there is no interest in these types of threads they’ll die on their own. Was EC told not to start any more bondage threads, or only “x” number per week or something like that? Look how many “…gay…” threads there are in CS at any given time. Who cares? If you don’t like them, don’t look. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven-what-is-this/338172/47 "2006-01-03T04:31:50Z")
> [@Evil Captor](#): > > Because that was then and this is now. Wow, what a difference an hour and 45 minutes makes. To go from complete non-comprehension to crystal clarity. Amazing. You know, I don’t really know you or your posting style well enough to be sure, but suddenly I find myself agreeing with the proposition that you post about bondage in hopes of getting a charge out of the notion that non-bondage people will see it and pay attention to it and you. I really hope that’s not the case, because if it is then what you’re pretty much doing is forcing people to participate in your sex life against their will. You would be at best the message board equivalent of a flasher and at worst…well, I won’t say the word I’m thinking but regardless it’s pretty fucking sick and if that’s what’s going on then you need to knock it the hell off. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven-what-is-this/338172/48 "2006-01-03T04:32:42Z")
> [@Metacom](#): > > If we exclude you, the ration is 17/102,723 = %0.017. Your ratio is 139 times that. That’s over two orders of magnitude. That’s nice. It’s also a completely meaningless statistic, in and of itself. It only means those other posters have little to no interest in the subject of bondage, compared to **EC**. The fact that by your own figures, he only posts ~2.4% of the time about bondage strongly contradicts your claim that “…[he’s] obsessed with it to the point that [he] won’t stop talking about it here.” I would hardly call 2.4% an obsession. Yes, he posts about it far more frequently than other posters, but, you can say the same thing about ANY poster with a strong interest in a particular subject. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven-what-is-this/338172/49 "2006-01-03T04:33:37Z")
> [@John Mace](#): > > Look how many “…gay…” threads there are in CS at any given time. Invalid comparison. “Bondage” is a sex act. “Gay” is not. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven-what-is-this/338172/50 "2006-01-03T04:38:39Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > Invalid comparison. “Bondage” is a sex act. “Gay” is not. Even if you just consider them as general subjects, they are comparable. Why is **EC** not allowed to start bondage threads, as opposed to any other subject, sexual or not? Has he been informed of a specific rule just for him, like **Reeder’s** rule limiting him to only one pit thread about Bush at once? ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven-what-is-this/338172/51 "2006-01-03T04:45:05Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > Even if you just consider them as general subjects, they are comparable. Why is **EC** not allowed to start bondage threads, as opposed to any other subject, sexual or not? Has he been informed of a specific rule just for him, like **Reeder’s** rule limiting him to only one pit thread about Bush at once? Yes, that was my point. How much of any one subject is “too much”? ---
**Author:** ![Hakuna\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hakuna\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hakuna_Matata)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven-what-is-this/338172/52 "2006-01-03T04:50:51Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > Even if you just consider them as general subjects, they are comparable. Why is **EC** not allowed to start bondage threads, as opposed to any other subject, sexual or not? Has he been informed of a specific rule just for him, like **Reeder’s** rule limiting him to only one pit thread about Bush at once? I would agree. If I counted the number of times lissener or otto posted in gay related threads I could come to the conclusion they are one trick ponies too. But I have read their other threads and they talk about lots of other things, same as evil captor. In fact I have to admit with otto I find him always posting about on line poker more than I ever noticed evil captor posting about bondage. seems to me if you aren’t interested in the subject matter, you should skip the thread. I recall the thread about evil captor before–and in my opinion no one made a valid case then either. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven-what-is-this/338172/53 "2006-01-03T04:55:37Z")
And, in **Reeder** ’s case, he was often posting stuff that was factually incorrect, so people felt obliged to respond-- fighting ignorance and all that. Plus, he was taking up space by posting so many threads on the same subject in any given day. Unless the bondage threads are cluttering up the place, or post stuff that demands a resonse, what the problem? Where’s all this bondage stuff anyway? I’ve seen maybe 1 or 2 bondage threads by **EC**. I almost never go to IMHO or MPSIMs, but if the threads are in CS, I’d notice. ---
**Author:** ![Metacom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecae2f/32.png) [@Metacom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Metacom)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven-what-is-this/338172/54 "2006-01-03T04:56:21Z")
> [@Q.E.D.](#): > > That’s nice. It’s also a completely meaningless statistic, in and of itself. It only means those other posters have little to no interest in the subject of bondage, compared to **EC**. Pssst… It doesn’t make sense to say that something is “meaningless” and then to say that it means something in the next sentence. Just FYI. > [@](#): > > The fact that by your own figures, he only posts ~2.4% of the time about bondage strongly contradicts your claim that “…[he’s] obsessed with it to the point that [he] won’t stop talking about it here.” Not really. One of the reasons I said it wasn’t a good metric was because posts that discuss bondage or are related to it don’t necessarilly use the word. His own figure, 8% is probably more realistic. And in a general interest message board where, like the SDMB, I think 8% is a bit obsessive for a fetish topic. Especially when he’s been asked by all sorts in all manners to tone it down a bit. > [@Q.E.D.](#): > > Yes, he posts about it far more frequently than other posters, but, you can say the same thing about ANY poster with a strong interest in a particular subject. Yes. But the subject itself is the issue. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven-what-is-this/338172/55 "2006-01-03T04:58:16Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > Even if you just consider them as general subjects, they are comparable. Why is **EC** not allowed to start bondage threads, as opposed to any other subject, sexual or not? Has he been informed of a specific rule just for him, like **Reeder’s** rule limiting him to only one pit thread about Bush at once? Specific rule, just for me. And to tell the truth, I’m not at all bothered by not posting more on bondage … there are plenty of other things I’m interested in, and I can continue posting about them. I’m just not sure I SHOULD simply cease posting on bondage without protest … I’m not sure it’s the “Doper” thing to do. Which is why I want to think about it and come up with a really clean expression of my problem with it. ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven-what-is-this/338172/56 "2006-01-03T05:04:18Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > You know, I don’t really know you or your posting style well enough to be sure, but suddenly I find myself agreeing with the proposition that you post about bondage in hopes of getting a charge out of the notion that non-bondage people will see it and pay attention to it and you. I really hope that’s not the case, because if it is then what you’re pretty much doing is forcing people to participate in your sex life against their will. You would be at best the message board equivalent of a flasher and at worst…well, I won’t say the word I’m thinking but regardless it’s pretty fucking sick and if that’s what’s going on then you need to knock it the hell off. You know, I don’t really know you or your posting style well enough to be sure, but suddenly I find myself agreeing with the proposition that you post about \*\*homosexuality \*\* in hopes of getting a charge out of the notion that non-\*\*homosexual \*\* people will see it and pay attention to it and you. I really hope that’s not the case, because if it is then what you’re pretty much doing is forcing people to participate in your \*\*sex \*\* life against their will. You would be at best the message board equivalent of a flasher and at worst…well, I won’t say the word I’m thinking but regardless it’s pretty fucking sick and if that’s what’s going on then you need to knock it the hell off. You know, I don’t really know you or your posting style well enough to be sure, but suddenly I find myself agreeing with the proposition that you post about \*\*prescriptive linguistics \*\* in hopes of getting a charge out of the notion that non- **prescriptive linguistics** people will see it and pay attention to it and you. I really hope that’s not the case, because if it is then what you’re pretty much doing is forcing people to participate in your \*\*grammar \*\* life against their will. You would be at best the message board equivalent of a flasher and at worst…well, I won’t say the word I’m thinking but regardless it’s pretty fucking sick and if that’s what’s going on then you need to knock it the hell off. You know, I don’t really know you or your posting style well enough to be sure, but suddenly I find myself agreeing with the proposition that you post about **Steelers football** in hopes of getting a charge out of the notion that non-\*\*Steelers \*\* people will see it and pay attention to it and you. I really hope that’s not the case, because if it is then what you’re pretty much doing is forcing people to participate in your \*\*football \*\* life against their will. You would be at best the message board equivalent of a flasher and at worst…well, I won’t say the word I’m thinking but regardless it’s pretty fucking sick and if that’s what’s going on then you need to knock it the hell off. Shit, this is easy! We’re a board of whores. Woo hoo! I’ve got no issues positive or negative with **EC**. Heck, I’m fine with **Dex** 90% of the time, but when **Dex** screws up she (?) really screws up. This is going to turn into another 6 page clusterfuck where noone walks away happy, isn’t it? : Sigh : I guess we were due. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven-what-is-this/338172/57 "2006-01-03T05:07:21Z")
> [@Metacom](#): > > It doesn’t make sense to say that something is “meaningless” and then to say that it means something in the next sentence. Just FYI. Yeah, but… Ok, you have a point. _grumble grumble_ > [@Metacom](#): > > I think 8% is a bit obsessive for a fetish topic. Especially when he’s been asked by all sorts in all manners to tone it down a bit. Maybe, but it’s still not obsessive to the exclusion of all else. It still means that about 92% of the time, he’s posting about other subjects. Hell, I’m sure there are posters who post about _their_ obsessive topic that often. > [@Metacom](#): > > Yes. But the subject itself is the issue. So? It’s not a subject which interests you or I, but if it’s only 8% of his posts who gives a flying fuck? I get sick of all the Bush posts, too, but you don’t see ME bitching about it, do you? No, I skip them and move on. In any case, it’s a moot issue, apparently. It seems he’s been asked not to post about it anymore for the time being. ---
**Author:** ![Good\_Egg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/96bed5/32.png) [@Good\_Egg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Good_Egg)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven-what-is-this/338172/58 "2006-01-03T05:17:15Z")
I was going to post that bondage is boring, but now I am finding this thread boring. I don’t remember eading any of Captors posts. I get the idea they are about bondage often. Big whoop. He’s really just trying to make Sure Dex’s Number 1 status as most hated mod will continue. ---
**Author:** ![Interrobang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/interrobang/32/17463_2.png) [@Interrobang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Interrobang)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven-what-is-this/338172/59 "2006-01-03T05:19:04Z")
> [@lissener](#): > > Sigh. I know you know that’s a disingenuous oversimplification of what I meant, if I did say it less clearly than I might have wished. It was also supposed to be, well, kind of funny. Not knee-slapping funny, I grant you, but wry-smile funny seems well within the realm of possibility. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2006, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven-what-is-this/338172/60 "2006-01-03T05:24:11Z")
> [@Wolfian](#): > > You know, I don’t really know you or your posting style well enough to be sure, but suddenly I find myself agreeing with the proposition that you post about \*\*homosexuality \*\* in hopes of getting a charge out of the notion that non-\*\*homosexual \*\* people will see it and pay attention to it and you. I really hope that’s not the case, because if it is then what you’re pretty much doing is forcing people to participate in your \*\*sex \*\* life against their will. You would be at best the message board equivalent of a flasher and at worst…well, I won’t say the word I’m thinking but regardless it’s pretty fucking sick and if that’s what’s going on then you need to knock it the hell off. As I’ve already said, the two are not comparable. First, “gay” is not a sex act. “Bondage” is a sex act. Rarely when I post on the topic of homosexuality do I get into a discussion of specific sex acts, and even more rarely do I get into a discussion of specific sex acts that I enjoy either watching or doing. Second, I don’t get off on the idea of people (gay or otherwise) who don’t want to read about either my being gay or about specific gay sex acts I enjoy watching or doing, reading about them. If I thought a gay person here was doing that, I’d be just as revolted by it as I am at the idea of EC’s doing it regarding bondage. For that matter, if a football fetishist or prescriptive linguistics fetishist did it, I’d also be revolted. If EC does in fact get off on the idea of posting about the sex act of bondage with the intent of non-bondage people who don’t want to see it seeing it, then yeah, he is putting non-consenting people in the middle of his sex life. Involving people in your sex life who don’t want to be there is sick and wrong. So please, spare me your little find-and-replace denunciations. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven-what-is-this/338172.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven-what-is-this/338172.md?page=4)