# C K Dexter Haven **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 27, 2005, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven/328187 "2005-10-27T19:12:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven/328187/81 "2005-10-28T03:23:48Z")
I do apologize, my earlier posts in this thread were made when I was time-pressed, and I typed “the Pit” when of course I meant “Cafe Society.” I also over-reacted to **Weirddave** ’s comment about how humorous a forklift accident is; I know someone who lost a foot in a forklift accident, and I don’t find such things amusing. I should have simply said that; sorry. For the original: - **Weirddave** ’s post in Cafe Society was not only personally insulting to a member, and flaming, but also baiting and deliberately provocative (the definition of “trolling.”) - I wouldn’t have cared in the least if he had posted it in the Pit, but it has no place in Cafe Society. - I am not trying to “protect” **lissener** or anyone else. I am trying to protect Cafe Society against outrageous violations. That is my job as Moderator. - I have never encountered so egregious an offense against Cafe Society rules, so far as I can remember. I therefore reacted proportionately to the offense. A mild “tsk tsk” would have been lame. - I do not see any point in restoring the offensive post, so that you all can debate whether it really is the most egregious offense against Cafe Society rules, or whether it’s second or third or blah blah. Trust me on this: it was far over the top. Every Moderator (including Ed Zotti) who has seen the offensive post and responded to me in email has agreed that it is way, way, way out of line. - There is no way on God’s earth to interpret it as “light-hearted joking.” Perhaps it’s joking for the Pit, right along with forklift accidents; but it’s way, way, way out of line for Cafe Society. - I did not “melt down” – if I had, I would have suspended **Weirddave** there and then. I responded in kind, to someone who was deliberately flaunting the rules and knew better. - There are plenty of examples in Cafe Society of Moderators calling people for insults, and leaving the posts for all to see as an example. You don’t need another one, especially not one that is so far over the top, in so many ways. If you see mild insults being condemned, then you can assume that severe insults are also disapproved. ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven/328187/82 "2005-10-28T03:29:26Z")
Look everyone! A Puppy! ```auto ,--. _/ <`-' ,-.' \--\_ ((`-.__\ ) \`' @ (_ ( (_) ,'`-._(`-._/ ,-' )88) )) ,-' /888%-' ,' __ ,- {888/ / ,' \| |\88'\ ( | |' \ `--. (%--'\ ,--.\ `-.`-._))) `---'`-/__)))`-._))) ``` ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven/328187/83 "2005-10-28T03:33:15Z")
> [@C K Dexter Haven](#): > > - I do not see any point in restoring the offensive post, so that you all can debate whether it really is the most egregious offense against Cafe Society rules, or whether it’s second or third or blah blah. Trust me on this: it was far over the top. Every Moderator (including Ed Zotti) who has seen the offensive post and responded to me in email has agreed that it is way, way, way out of line. Fair enough. But I still think it wasn’t cricket for you to tell **Weirddave** that he was “goddamn fuckin’ OUT OF LINE”, while disappearing his post so that everyone else simply had to take your word for it that he was. If the post was so offensive that no one should see it, you shouldn’t have alluded to it as the Worst! Post! Evah! If you’d kept it to “Don’t do that again, **Weirddave** ,” or even issued a warning in email, people wouldn’t be questioning your judgement. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven/328187/84 "2005-10-28T03:35:57Z")
I’m not going to weigh in on anything, but I do have a question on a tangent. > [@C K Dexter Haven](#): > > - **Weirddave** ’s post in Cafe Society was not only personally insulting to a member, and flaming, but also baiting and deliberately provocative (the definition of “trolling.”) > - I wouldn’t have cared in the least if he had posted it in the Pit, but it has no place in Cafe Society. If it’s trolling shouldn’t it still be trolling in the Pit? I’m not trying to pick a fight, I’m just somewhat baffled. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven/328187/85 "2005-10-28T03:38:32Z")
What I mean is, the way you responded to **Weirddave** ’s horrible, awful, unspeakable post just put everyone beside themselves with curiosity. ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven/328187/86 "2005-10-28T03:40:20Z")
> [@Sam Stone](#): > > Look everyone! A Puppy! Aw! Ain’t it ccute. Who’s a good boy? Yes you are! Yes, you are! ---
**Author:** ![elfbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b782af/32.png) [@elfbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfbabe)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven/328187/87 "2005-10-28T06:00:44Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > What I mean is, the way you responded to **Weirddave** ’s horrible, awful, unspeakable post just put everyone beside themselves with curiosity. Soo… _cough_ can anyone who had email notifications or something on, uh… _shifty eyes_ _hook me up_, if you know what I mean? Seriously though, I’m willing to believe that **Weirddave** actually said something really, really nasty. As of late, it appears that someone has ( **lno** , this is _your_ fault, here) [secretly replaced **Weirddave** ’s coffee with pure Colombian cocaine](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=6678043&postcount=14). But the fact that we’re not allowed to see what it said, and that the non-mods who saw it seem to be saying it wasn’t that bad, really makes me wonder a bit. ---
**Author:** ![Hunter\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/50afbb/32.png) [@Hunter\_Hawk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hunter_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven/328187/88 "2005-10-28T06:35:10Z")
> [@C K Dexter Haven](#): > > - There is no way on God’s earth to interpret it as “light-hearted joking.” Perhaps it’s joking for the Pit, right along with forklift accidents; but it’s way, way, way out of line for Cafe Society. \ FWIW, I sure as hell thought it was light-hearted joking. ---
**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven/328187/89 "2005-10-28T11:12:06Z")
> [@Sam Stone](#): > > Look everyone! A Puppy! > > ```auto > > ,--. > _/ <`-' > ,-.' \--\_ > ((`-.__\ ) > \`' @ (_ > ( (_) > ,'`-._(`-._/ > ,-' )88) )) > ,-' /888%-' > ,' __ ,- {888/ > / ,' \| |\88'\ > ( | |' \ `--. > (%--'\ ,--.\ `-.`-._))) > `---'`-/__)))`-._))) > > > > ``` I think that wraps this debate up nicely. Goodnight everybody! Oh, and your post was good too Dex. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 11:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven/328187/90 "2005-10-28T11:13:48Z")
> [@C K Dexter Haven](#): > > I responded in kind, to someone who was deliberately flaunting the rules and knew better. **C K Dexter Haven** , you will write out one hundred times “He was _flouting_ the rules”. ---
**Author:** ![Binarydrone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven/328187/91 "2005-10-28T13:51:25Z")
Fuck me! A board administrator refusing to change their mind about something. This is so out of character. ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven/328187/92 "2005-10-28T14:10:15Z")
Death, taxes, etc… ---
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven/328187/93 "2005-10-28T14:25:34Z")
For what it’s worth, _I_ thought of posting something about _Starship Troopers_ just for the hell of it - and I have nothing against **lissener** but had somehow retained the memory of his liking for this film - but dismissed the idea as pretty pathetic really. I’m rather ashamed to admit I even thought of it, but I did. So, I can understand Dexter’s response. For what it’s worth again, I don’t believe I ever actually opened the thead in question. In other words, I just moused over it and had that idea to which I had to say, “Get behind me, Satan!” ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven/328187/94 "2005-10-28T15:30:32Z")
> [@](#): > > We’ve never had a banned member returning before, so far as I recall. That can’t be correct. I know there were _at least_ two, although one did a name change for the return and probably doesn’t/didn’t want to be associated with the old name / old behavior that resulted in the banning, and the second, an abrasive but respected person knowledgable about middle eastern political and social matters, got banned again later on. I’m about 40% certain there were others as well. ---
**Author:** ![whole\_bean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@whole\_bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whole_bean)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven/328187/95 "2005-10-28T15:42:47Z")
> [@Sam Stone](#): > > Look everyone! A Puppy! > > ```auto > > ,--. > _/ <`-' > ,-.' \--\_ > ((`-.__\ ) > \`' @ (_ > ( (_) > ,'`-._(`-._/ > ,-' )88) )) > ,-' /888%-' > ,' __ ,- {888/ > / ,' \| |\88'\ > ( | |' \ `--. > (%--'\ ,--.\ `-.`-._))) > `---'`-/__)))`-._))) > > > > ``` heh, he thinks he’s people ---
**Author:** ![whole\_bean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@whole\_bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whole_bean)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven/328187/96 "2005-10-28T15:44:43Z")
> [@Green Bean](#): > > My thought exactly, oh sister in Bean-ness. brother. brother in bean-ness. You’ve now given me the opportutnity to reply to one of IMO threads about gender confusion and screennames – new worlds have been opened. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Talon\_Karrde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Talon\_Karrde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Talon_Karrde)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven/328187/97 "2005-10-28T15:56:34Z")
> [@Green Bean](#): > > On a personal note: It was in that thread that I first noted that **lissener** had been reinstated. My first thought was “oh no. Another Verhoeven freak.” Then “Wait a minute–it’s the SAME Verhoeven freak!” :smack: “And he’s still going on and on and on about him!” :smack: :smack: And then I stopped reading the thread. The dude just can’t let it go. > > If we’re doing analogies: > > **Lissener** is to Paul Verhoeven as **Jack Dean Tyler** is to circumcision. I don’t think he’s any more of a freak than Beatles fans who hound people that don’t like the Beatles to admit that they were at least VERY INFLUENTIAL. And I speak as a Beatles fan who has been guilty of this. The thing that bothers me about **Lissener** is that he is so quick to dismiss movies that he doesn’t like. ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven/328187/98 "2005-10-28T15:58:44Z")
> [@Binarydrone](#): > > Fuck me! A board administrator refusing to change their mind about something. This is so out of character. The title **Administrator** under the names should just be changed to **Fuck You** ; it would remove any ambiguity. ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2005, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven/328187/99 "2005-10-29T03:11:56Z")
> [@C K Dexter Haven](#): > > - There are plenty of examples in Cafe Society of Moderators calling people for insults, and leaving the posts for all to see as an example. You don’t need another one, especially not one that is so far over the top, in so many ways. If you see mild insults being condemned, then you can assume that severe insults are also disapproved. I guess I am waiting for one more moderator admonishment for you calling him a jackass. Regardless of whether or not he was being a jackass, which we have no choice but to trust the board staff, you did use a personal insult outside the pit. Rules apply to all as I understand them. Or, is it acceptable, outside the Pit, to tell someone to stop being a jackass. The statement itself is undoubtedly a reference to the fact that the poster already asserts that the aforementioned individual is currently being a jackass. Henceforth, insulting them. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2005, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven/328187/100 "2005-10-29T04:17:26Z")
> [@C K Dexter Haven](#): > > - I have never encountered so egregious an offense against Cafe Society rules, so far as I can remember. I therefore reacted proportionately to the offense. A mild “tsk tsk” would have been lame. > - I do not see any point in restoring the offensive post, so that you all can debate whether it really is the most egregious offense against Cafe Society rules, or whether it’s second or third or blah blah. Trust me on this: it was far over the top. Every Moderator (including Ed Zotti) who has seen the offensive post and responded to me in email has agreed that it is way, way, way out of line. > - There is no way on God’s earth to interpret it as “light-hearted joking.” Perhaps it’s joking for the Pit, right along with forklift accidents; but it’s way, way, way out of line for Cafe Society. [Perry Mason Mode] You **say** that we are supposed to trust you concerning the egregiousness of this post, yet at the same time you refuse to let us see it because it would be “pointless.” In fact, it would not be “pointless,” would it? The point would be to demonstrate your that your actions were correct and appropriate. Why would you ask us to trust you when proof is readily available and being withheld to no purpose. Perhaps Mr. Dexter, you are **afraid** of something in that post. There is something in that post you desperately wish to **conceal** from the public eye. WHAT ARE YOU COVERING UP? WHAT ARE YOU HIDING? ANSWER ME! Never mind. Your silence speaks volumes. Admit it. You secretly think Showgirls was pretty good, and that’s the real reason you went crazy, isn’t? The fact of the matter is the whole Lissener thing is merely a smokescreen and a ruse to cover up your clandestine Veerhoven fandom.[/Perry Mason Mode] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven/328187.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven/328187.md?page=6)