# C K Dexter Haven **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 27, 2005, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven/328187 "2005-10-27T19:12:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven/328187/142 "2005-11-01T20:19:04Z")
yea, I remember **manny** ’s acerbic ways. and ya know what? lots has changed since then. Read the threads where **Satan** got banned and reflect that at the time, there still were rules about insults only in the pit. Yet he only got warned. before his ultimate banning. Lots slid by back then that doesn’t now. hell, even the level of swearing and cussing is different (note I"m not saying one’s better than the other, just noting that the rules have become much more tightly enforced, especially in the last couple of years). ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven/328187/143 "2005-11-01T20:32:21Z")
> [@wring](#): > > \ lots has changed since then.\ _pinches nose_ I didn’t want to bring this up, but you asked. I and Psycho Pirate mutually hijacked [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=333223&page=3&pp=40), post **Satan**. The conclussion was the same. > [@Giraffe](#): > > \ Suffering fools gladly simply isn’t part of the job description. > > Plus, if _ **Veb** _ is calling you an idiot, it’s time for some serious self-reflection. **Veb** is the _nice_ moderator. The good cop, if you will.\ ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven/328187/144 "2005-11-01T20:42:21Z")
link doesn’t work. but my response would be: a. if it’s in the pit, c’est la vie, b. if it’s not, then my opinion would not change, the list of folks who should appologize would. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven/328187/145 "2005-11-01T21:54:02Z")
> [@Lissa](#): > > I simply, and firmly, assert that if rules say you cannot insult someone outside the pit, then they apply to all. My understanding is that mods have always been granted a certain amount of leeway when it comes to reprimanding people. If someone is breaking the rules in a particularly egregious or obnoxious fashion, a vanilla “poster X, that is against the rules, please don’t do it again” is…unsatisfying. Some rule violations warrant a scolding, and it’s difficult to scold someone without being in any way insulting. That said, we try not to be dicks. If I started out every warning with “listen, you stupid asshole,” it wouldn’t fly, even in the Pit where personal insults are allowed. As imperfect human mods, we may fly off the handle or be unnecessarily harsh at times, but I think those cases are the exception rather than the rule. Personally, I’d rather a moderator be able to speak plainly and directly when necessary than to be straightjacketed by rules solely for the sake of absolute consistancy. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven/328187/146 "2005-11-01T22:18:00Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > That said, we try not to be dicks. If I started out every warning with “listen, you stupid asshole,” it wouldn’t fly, even in the Pit where personal insults are allowed. As imperfect human mods, we may fly off the handle or be unnecessarily harsh at times, but I think those cases are the exception rather than the rule. Personally, I’d rather a moderator be able to speak plainly and directly when necessary than to be straightjacketed by rules solely for the sake of absolute consistancy. and we’re back to “If we knew what the fuck inspired **Dex** to fly off the handle, then maybe we’d agree”. But again, not only must we ‘trust you’ that it was awful enough to hide, but it was awful enough to cause a normally even tempered person to fly off the handle. and in case you’re thinking well, shouldn’t that be understood? nope, not in the slightest. Normally, I’m (IRL) an even temepered person. I rarely raise my voice. Very rarely. BUt I recall some 20 years ago, I got really pisssed off when a client asked me for a light (for her cig) and I wrote her up a major misconduct. But added a note “by the way, I just quit smoking and it’s ever so slightly a possability that I over reacted about this”. the ticket was never processed. Fine by me. Later on in life, I went to my family doctor 'cause I was way over reacting to very minor crap - seemed I had a (as it turned out temporary) sugar imbalance, sugar imbalance cured, no more overreactions. So, if you (metaphorical you) want us (metaphorical) to understand and accept that at times y’all may be provoked to respond so harshly that the rules should (temporarily) not apply to you, it’d behoove you to allow us to see what the fuck so riled you. If you (metaphorical you) want us (metaphorical) to understand that some posts are just too bad to be seen, it’d behoove you to abide by the rules of the forum or at least note for the record that you regret the breaking of forum rules. MHO and all. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven/328187/147 "2005-11-01T23:08:40Z")
> [@wring](#): > > and we’re back to “If we knew what the fuck inspired **Dex** to fly off the handle, then maybe we’d agree”. Actually, we’re not. I was answering **Lissa** ’s question on whether or not I think mods should be prohibited from using personal insults outside of the Pit, not commenting on **Dex** ’s decision to hide **Weirddave** ’s post. Personally, I think hiding the post in this situation was a mistake. **Dex** felt otherwise, and it was his call to make. It happens. All the mods aren’t always going to agree with every decision by every other mod. We’re not a hive mind, and the judgement call of a single mod in a specific situation does not automatically represent a unanimous policy shift by the board. The sky is not falling. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven/328187/148 "2005-11-01T23:14:18Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > The sky is not falling. He’s wrong, you know. _dons crash helmet_ ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven/328187/149 "2005-11-01T23:27:55Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Actually, we’re not. nope, the metaphorical “we” are. Your personal answer doesn’t change that. > [@Giraffe](#): > > Personally, I think hiding the post in this situation was a mistake. Me too. The “single me”, not the metaphorical version. I understand it’s **Dex** s call to make. I’m hoping (in vain probably) that he’ll change his mind. > [@](#): > > The sky is not falling. cite? (actually this summer the roof at my office collapsed suddenly. yep the whole roof. yep suddenly -as in seconds. IT’s not really as funny IRL as it may sound) ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven/328187/150 "2005-11-01T23:32:20Z")
> [@wring](#): > > nope, the metaphorical “we” are. Your personal answer doesn’t change that. Huh. I thought I was part of the “we”, since you were responding to _my_ post. But go ahead, kick me out of your “we”, see if I care. I’ll just make my own “we” and it’ll be like a hundred times better than yours! If you’ll excuse me, I’ve got something in my eye… ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven/328187/151 "2005-11-01T23:40:03Z")
> [@wring](#): > > (actually this summer the roof at my office collapsed suddenly. yep the whole roof. yep suddenly -as in seconds. IT’s not really as funny IRL as it may sound) Oui. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2005, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven/328187/152 "2005-11-02T00:56:22Z")
> [@Scott Plaid](#): > > Oui. Hustler. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2005, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven/328187/153 "2005-11-02T03:30:17Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > But go ahead, kick me out of your “we”, see if I care. I’ll just make my own “we” and it’ll be like a hundred times better than yours! Just be sure and flush when you’re done making your we. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2005, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven/328187/154 "2005-11-02T03:38:12Z")
> [@Scylla](#): > > Just be sure and flush when you’re done making your we. No, no, no! That wastes water. If it’s yellow, let it mellow. If it’s brown, flush it down. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2005, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven/328187/155 "2005-11-02T04:16:32Z")
oh shit. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2005, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven/328187/156 "2005-11-02T04:47:51Z")
> [@wring](#): > > oh shit. Grizzly Adams, is that you? ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2005, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven/328187/157 "2005-11-02T04:50:38Z")
it’d be unbearable. oh pope. ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2005, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven/328187/158 "2005-11-02T07:02:15Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Personally, I think hiding the post in this situation was a mistake. I agree. > [@](#): > > **Dex** felt otherwise, and it was his call to make. It happens. Hiding posts of established members is an extremely bad precedent to set, even if the post was “trolling,” as **Dex** alleged on page 2 of this thread. The decision to warn **Weirddave** (and the harshness of the warning) do not bother me nearly as much as the act of censorship and secrecy. ---
**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2005, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven/328187/159 "2005-11-02T13:30:55Z")
I just think it was a stupid move. Warn, email even ban but to delete the post is just silly IMO. Look what it’s led to. This 4 page thread with people guessing what he said. Admin and posters who saw the post disagreeing about it’s meaning/context. The anons making shit up and putting false words in **dave’s** mouth etc. A re-examination of the whole Showgirls/ Starship Troopers bollocks. Way to calm things down. Crap admin/moderation IMO and the reaction was totally expected as this is what happens every time this kind of crap is pulled. ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2005, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven/328187/160 "2005-11-04T03:36:14Z")
> [@Scott Plaid](#): > > The rules are very clear. I have never heard any examples of mods acting like it is their birthright. I suspect the blame lies in your perception. Think of it this way. A mod is like your mom. They have to watch over you, clean up the goldfish you forgot to feed, etc. Occasionally, she might swear at you because you were not doing the right thing, or because she was feed-up. Now, you will not be allowed to swear at your mother in return. Conflict? I think not. > > Oh, and [here is the hyperlink I was looking for.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=156526) Leaders are the example. They must set that expectation. My mother would be dead wrong and would deserve a curse in response. If you swear at your children, don’t be surprised when they do it to you. ---
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2005, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven/328187/161 "2005-11-04T03:55:50Z")
Certainly, the thing to be most jealously protected on the SDMB is freedom of speech. Censorship in all its forms must be resisted (and first ruthlessly identified - it may be masquerading behind flippancy or its opposite, solemness). Regarding leaders, it is useful to remember that ‘classes never rule, any more than nations. The rulers are always certain persons. And whatever class they may have belonged to, when they are rulers they belong to the ruling class.’ Left and right, Unitarian Universalists and Mere Christians - we can all appreciate that. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven/328187.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/c-k-dexter-haven/328187.md?page=9)