# Cable Networks You'd Like To See **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 14, 2004, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cable-networks-youd-like-to-see/279730 "2004-12-14T04:25:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cable-networks-youd-like-to-see/279730/61 "2004-12-17T05:37:49Z")
**The Really Old Television Programming Channel** If it survives, and comes from before (insert today’s date, 50 years ago), we’ll air it! **The Old Time Radio Channel** So what if there’s no picture? We’re going to air it anyway! **The Serial Channel** Because TCM doesn’t play nearly as many of these as they should. **The Commerical Channel** How do I afford the three channels above? Through this one, of course! **The Infomercial Channel** Why not? **The Classic Cable Network Channel** Basically, we air whole broadcast days of what other cable networks used to air. ---
**Author:** ![brianjedi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@brianjedi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brianjedi)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cable-networks-youd-like-to-see/279730/62 "2004-12-17T05:56:28Z")
> [@Tuckerfan](#): > > I _really_ miss Patrick Norton getting pissed off about some new form of copyprotection and “inadvertantly” blurting out how to get around it. I miss Patrick Norton getting pissed off and beating the crap out of something with a sledgehammer. TechTV was great. Now “G4TechTV” has cancelled Unscrewed, Fresh Gear, Call For Help and TechLive and gutted The Screen Savers twice just to get Morgan Webb and that schmuck Adam Sessler. They’re also changing names back to G4 in January. At least G4TechTV Canada brought Leo back to host Call For Help. Patrick’s a freelance writer working mostly for Ziff-Davis and ExtremeTech. Martin is reportedly trying to bring an Unscrewed-type show back on SpikeTV. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2004, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cable-networks-youd-like-to-see/279730/63 "2004-12-17T06:32:38Z")
The Party Channel - this channel is focused on televising live parties from all over the world. Settings range from bars, people’s houses, boats, the beach and any other place a good time is happening. Much more “real” than reality TV, this channel will feature minimal voiceovers and focus soley on the individuals and what they are doing to have a good time. Viewers will feel like they are really there and can drink right along with the shows. Some hot spots will be regularly scheduled so that viewers can build up an active social life right from their own living room. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2004, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cable-networks-youd-like-to-see/279730/64 "2004-12-26T01:21:52Z")
How about the Nonbelievers Channel? This would show programs by and about faiths other than Christianity (including atheism and agnosticism). That way, those of us who really can’t stand all the various holiday crap which every network feels compelled to air (even when the programs really _don’t_ match up with their usual broadcast fare) would have something we could watch. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2004, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cable-networks-youd-like-to-see/279730/65 "2004-12-26T04:14:19Z")
The Marathon Network - for people who don’t like to wait a day to see the next episode. This network would take a TV series and run every episode, back-to-back, from the pilot to the finale. Then they’d start the next series. ---
**Author:** ![stegon66](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee59a6/32.png) [@stegon66](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stegon66)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2004, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cable-networks-youd-like-to-see/279730/66 "2004-12-26T06:03:24Z")
> [@](#): > > How 'bout the “Actual Science. No, Really” Channel? About, y’know, actual science. Physics. Chemistry. Biology. Geology. Geography. Astronomy. Medicine. Psychology. Sociology. Space exploration. Deep sea exploration. There’s no lack of subject material. > > Which means we can exclude a few things that are commonly found on channels supposedly dedicated to science, “discovery” _cough_, and “learning.” _cough cough_ My sentiments exactly. And on a more crass level, how about a hot lesbian sex channel? With Celebrity Tuesdays (guys, today it’s an awesome Aussie lovefest between Nicole and Naomi!). ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2004, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cable-networks-youd-like-to-see/279730/67 "2004-12-26T12:52:43Z")
Barney Miller/Night Court/The Nanny alternating until the Second Coming. What else do you need? ---
**Author:** ![Necro\_Romancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/50afbb/32.png) [@Necro\_Romancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Necro_Romancer)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2004, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cable-networks-youd-like-to-see/279730/68 "2004-12-26T13:27:54Z")
RadicalTV - Coverage of all fringe left events as reinacted by seven year olds. The station will also feature live coverage of fauxtests/propests. The Crisis Network - 24 hour coverage of children holding it in. ---
**Author:** ![MinniePurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@MinniePurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MinniePurl)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2004, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cable-networks-youd-like-to-see/279730/69 "2004-12-26T15:01:41Z")
**BBCAmerica2** – Like BBCAmerica, but without all the crappy decorating, gardening and antique shows that have taken over the channel and made it boring and unwatchable. I used to watch Changing Rooms, but let’s face it, there is a limit to how many times you can watch them decorate something “beach hut” style. It used to be I HAD to have digital cable so I could have BBCAmerica. We downgraded to regular cable a few months ago, because I realized I never watched it anymore. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2004, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cable-networks-youd-like-to-see/279730/70 "2004-12-26T20:17:43Z")
> [@Governor Quinn](#): > > **The Really Old Television Programming Channel** > > If it survives, and comes from before (insert today’s date, 50 years ago), we’ll air it! > > **The Old Time Radio Channel** > > So what if there’s no picture? We’re going to air it anyway! > > **The Serial Channel** > > Because TCM doesn’t play nearly as many of these as they should. Similarly: **Turner Classic Shorts** **Fox Movietone News** ---
**Author:** ![Algul\_Siento](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f17d59/32.png) [@Algul\_Siento](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Algul_Siento)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2004, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cable-networks-youd-like-to-see/279730/71 "2004-12-26T21:35:36Z")
WTF- Shows a bunch of really odd random stuff that nobody in their right mind could comprehend 24/7. I’d watch it. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2004, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cable-networks-youd-like-to-see/279730/72 "2004-12-26T22:20:42Z")
> [@Larry Borgia](#): > > I’d like to see a real news channel. One with actual reporting and analysis. One that took the time to explore the issues in an adult fashion. One that wasn’t a constant barrage of bloviating blowhards bellowing at each other with no more qualifications than any newspaper-reading SDMB’r. Check this out: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=292551](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=292551) ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2004, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cable-networks-youd-like-to-see/279730/73 "2004-12-26T22:22:26Z")
> [@FriarTed](#): > > Paranormal News Network- The Fortean Channel- Serious reports & investigations of UFOs, sasquatches, hauntings, etc. Not a vacant market niche. Have you watched the Sci-Fi Channel lately? ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2004, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cable-networks-youd-like-to-see/279730/74 "2004-12-26T22:25:57Z")
> [@Winston Bongo](#): > > \*\*The Classic But Now Politically Incorrect Stuff That Everyone Else is Afraid to Run But is Still Funny to Those of Us Who Aren’t Overly Sensitive Channel \*\* – filled with such gems as _The Jack Benny Program_, _Our Gang/Little Rascals_, the old “Inky & the Myna Bird” cartoons, etc. And don’t forget **Bosko!** [http://bosko.toonzone.net/characters/bosko/](http://bosko.toonzone.net/characters/bosko/) ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2004, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cable-networks-youd-like-to-see/279730/75 "2004-12-26T22:28:10Z")
> [@rjung](#): > > The Liberal Media Channel – a _real_ liberal media, dammit, not the imaginary bullstuff the right-wing nutjobs keep yammering about. Go up three posts. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2004, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cable-networks-youd-like-to-see/279730/76 "2004-12-26T22:33:49Z")
> [@MacTech](#): > > The _REAL_ Sci-Fi channel, all the Treks, BSG, Dr. Who, Red Dwarf, Farscape, Lexx, Futurama, MST3K, Tripping the Rift, Stargate, Space-1999, Quark, etc… the current skiffy channel will be renamed “the Stupid Crap That Isn’t Sci-Fi Channel” Better still – and to avoid attacks from the copyright zombies, etc. – name the new channel “The Fandom Channel”. And add a weekly (maybe even daily) news hour on the doings of science-fiction fandom – convention, awards, fan-feuds, costume contests, fanzines, fanfic, fanfilms, etc. And the World Science Fiction Society (which runs the annual WorldCon) should have a controlling interest! ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2004, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cable-networks-youd-like-to-see/279730/77 "2004-12-26T22:38:49Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Not a vacant market niche. Have you watched the Sci-Fi Channel lately? Yeah, but he said “serious,” i.e. let’s take a bunch of highly degreed physicists, engineers, etc., and go examine this haunted house. Not “let’s take a bunch of Venkman wannabes and turn them loose in a haunted house with a video camera and a bunch of machines that go ‘ping!’.” The Sci-Fi channel wouldn’t know decent science if it bit it on the ass. Supposedly, Naked News dot com has pretty good, er, um, coverage of international affairs. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2004, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cable-networks-youd-like-to-see/279730/78 "2004-12-26T22:43:10Z")
Oh, and filk! The Fandom Channel has got to showcase the latest filk! ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2004, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cable-networks-youd-like-to-see/279730/79 "2004-12-26T22:44:56Z")
> [@Tuckerfan](#): > > Yeah, but he said “serious,” i.e. let’s take a bunch of highly degreed physicists, engineers, etc., and go examine this haunted house. Not “let’s take a bunch of Venkman wannabes and turn them loose in a haunted house with a video camera and a bunch of machines that go ‘ping!’.” I don’t think there’s enough serious research being done in the paranormal to justify a whole network – but it could be a show on the Real Science Channel. ---
**Author:** ![Middlea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/edb3f5/32.png) [@Middlea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Middlea)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2004, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cable-networks-youd-like-to-see/279730/80 "2004-12-26T22:59:13Z")
**How It Works** channel A show about how things are planned, designed, made, and how they function. Like cars, planes, etc. How does a nuclear power plant work? Coal plant? A submarine? Computers? Repeats of “Connections” and “Day the Universe Changed” . **The Christmas Channel** Every Christmas special ever made, be it network or Lifetime cable, will be sucked into this he77hole of a channel, never to be seen again. A Christmas Story and PeeWee’s Christmas being the only exceptions. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cable-networks-youd-like-to-see/279730.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cable-networks-youd-like-to-see/279730.md?page=5)