# California Psychics **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** radio-podcast\ **Created:** [May 28, 2024, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/california-psychics/1002163 "2024-05-28T00:24:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2024, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/california-psychics/1002163/1 "2024-05-28T00:24:19Z")
I don’t believe in psychics. At best, they are skilled observers. More often, they seem to play the odds and talk in generalities. You could probably be a pet psychic. “I am seeing your dog… now I see a favourite bowl or toy… does this mean anything to you?” But something fascinates me about the “California Psychics” commercial they run on comedy radio. 1. They play this trippy new age song that contains a lot of whistling. I wonder how that appeals to their core audience; why that particular song was thought to appeal. Do believers enjoy Dick Van Dyke and Andy Griffith or something? 2. They point out 99% of psychics “were not good enough” to qualify for their program. Sure, everyone gets the same few on staff. But how did they wean out the impostors? “You should have seen you were required to apply to our company…” 3. They guarantee life-changing readings. How would such a guarantee work in practice? 4. Their introductory offer is attractively priced, I guess, only $20 for 20 minutes with a psychic appropriate for you. Guaranteed. Are the regular prices and percentage of repeat business high enough for you to develop your psychic abilities? “Madame. Did you recently lose a friend, loved one or acquaintance?” _”Yes. Twenty-three years ago.”_ “THAT RECENTLY???!!!”. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2024, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/california-psychics/1002163/2 "2024-05-28T00:27:15Z")
Those same ads have been running on the over-the-air news radio station I listen to while I’m getting ready for work in the morning. I suspect that the “99% aren’t good enough” is pure puffery. I also suspect that the “life-changing readings, guaranteed” has some other clauses in it, and/or it only applies to that first introductory 20-minute reading. Edit: upon reading their website, and doing some digging to actually find the verbiage on the guarantee, it looks like (a) you have to call them to request a refund within 24 hours of an unsatisfactory reading, (b) you can only ask for a refund on the most recent reading you had with them, (c) it is up to California Psychics to decide if you have a “genuine issue” with the reading you had (and if they disagree, no refund), and (d) the “refund” is given as credit towards a future reading, not an actual refund of money. Here’s where the details are shown: > **[Terms of Use | California Psychics](https://www.californiapsychics.com/about/terms-of-use)** > > Real Psychics screened for accuracy. Returning customers specials and everyday discounts. Call now for a Live Psychic Reading by phone. Mediums, Tarot, Astrologers. Free Horoscopes, Love advice. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2024, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/california-psychics/1002163/3 "2024-05-28T00:41:20Z")
Also, for what it’s worth, the whistling music in their ad reminds me of the theme music for _[Jack Horkheimer: Star Gazer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSB5RCQUfOA)_, a five-minute show on astronomy that used to run on PBS. For those who haven’t heard the ad, here’s [a TV ad from them](https://www.ispot.tv/ad/5qCb/california-psychics-feel-like-youre-going-nowhere), which has the same voiceover guy, the same music, and pretty much the same information and guarantee. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2024, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/california-psychics/1002163/4 "2024-05-28T00:44:30Z")
> [@Dr\_Paprika](#): > > Their introductory offer is attractively priced, I guess, only $20 for 20 minutes with a psychic appropriate for you. Most likely the “psychic” is trained to speak vaguely for the first 20 minutes, with enough hints and promises to hook the mark into staying on the line longer than that and incurring much heavier charges. As for them having the top 1% in the field, top-of-the-line garbage is still garbage. I’d sooner deal with Madame Rue\* than the California Psychics. \*you know, that gypsy with the gold-capped tooth. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2024, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/california-psychics/1002163/5 "2024-05-28T01:02:37Z")
Umm. I have a thread. You’re welcome to ask me a question. No charge. Also we have that little runt trying to get into my business @discobot . He’s untrustworthy. ---
**Author:** ![discobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/discobot/32/570_2.png) [@discobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/discobot)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2024, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/california-psychics/1002163/6 "2024-05-28T01:02:39Z")
Hi! To find out what I can do, say `@discobot display help`. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2024, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/california-psychics/1002163/7 "2024-05-28T01:03:01Z")
No I will not. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2024, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/california-psychics/1002163/8 "2024-05-28T01:21:10Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > I’d sooner deal with Madame Rue\* than the California Psychics. Make sure you stick with love potion number 8. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2024, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/california-psychics/1002163/9 "2024-05-28T02:44:05Z")
If it smells like turpentine… ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2024, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/california-psychics/1002163/10 "2024-05-28T02:50:40Z")
…looks like India ink… ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2024, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/california-psychics/1002163/11 "2024-05-28T03:20:03Z")
Love Potion sounds more practical than today’s birthday horoscope from astrology dotcom. Although the first two are oddly specific, in parts, even for a holiday. #### Daily Food Horoscope _Making conversation over the din of the morning breakfast table will be tough today. So you had best start rattling those pots and pans around. Silence will reign again as they’re stuffing their faces with your blueberry buttermilk pancakes and apple sausage, and you may finally be able to get a word in edgewise._ #### Daily Home Horoscope _Your friend doesn’t know how to react to the new couch you’ve picked out – it’s nice, but the pattern may not match your living room. Listen to their comments, because they may save you from making a purchase that isn’t quite right._ #### Daily Dog Horoscope _You have no trouble making your wishes known. The response is so fast you almost feel like your humans are your personal waiters. When there’s a lull in the table scraps, take the initiative and speak up._ ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2024, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/california-psychics/1002163/12 "2024-05-28T03:26:30Z")
Oh, lord. I need a crystal and some sage to burn. The _Dog horoscope_ fit my dogs day to a tee. Yep. New believer here. ☺ ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2024, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/california-psychics/1002163/13 "2024-05-28T03:45:57Z")
@discobot fortune ---
**Author:** ![discobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/discobot/32/570_2.png) [@discobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/discobot)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2024, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/california-psychics/1002163/14 "2024-05-28T03:45:58Z")
> 🔮 Most likely ---
**Author:** ![bordelond](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bordelond/32/150_2.png) [@bordelond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bordelond)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2024, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/california-psychics/1002163/15 "2024-05-28T03:49:18Z")
> [@Dr\_Paprika](#): > > They guarantee life-changing readings. How would such a guarantee work in practice? I always figured the angle here was “Hey - a trivial life change is still a life changing. Ergo, you’re reading was ‘_life changing_’. No soup!” It’s scandalous that these ads play during CNN’s Sirius XM broadcast. I know woo money is still green, but sheesh. ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2024, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/california-psychics/1002163/16 "2024-05-28T23:07:00Z")
A “psychic” once tried to inveigle me over the phone. When she asked for a CC number, I said surely you can guess that, can’t you. She hung up. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2024, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/california-psychics/1002163/17 "2024-05-28T23:21:59Z")
I predict a psychic pet peeve is the thousand times a day someone tells them that. ---
**Author:** ![dtilque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d6d6ee/32.png) [@dtilque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dtilque)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2024, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/california-psychics/1002163/18 "2024-05-29T00:11:59Z")
> [@Dr\_Paprika](#): > > I predict a psychic pet peeve is the thousand times a day someone tells them that Psychics deserve it, considering they’re really frauds. ---
**Author:** ![ParallelLines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/parallellines/32/3575_2.png) [@ParallelLines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParallelLines)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2024, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/california-psychics/1002163/19 "2024-05-29T00:46:25Z")
I have a true reading from His Exalted Majesty Weird Al Yankovic for all Taurus out there (well, nearly anyone) which is at least 99% applicable and accurate: > Taurus > You will never find true happiness > What you gonna do, cry about it? > The stars predict tomorrow you’ll wake up > Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep (From the very fun and thread appropriate song, “[Your Horoscope for Today](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPvyrWYutDQ)”) ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2024, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/california-psychics/1002163/20 "2024-05-29T07:33:44Z")
Meh, any real psychic should have known you were going to say that and not called you in the first place. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/california-psychics/1002163.md?page=2)