# Call Any Vegetable **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 21, 2001, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-any-vegetable/94545 "2001-11-21T05:14:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mudshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2001, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-any-vegetable/94545/1 "2001-11-21T05:14:17Z")
This is a post about vegetables, they keep you regular they’re real good for ya. \*Call any vegetable Call it by name Call one today When you get off the train. ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2001, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-any-vegetable/94545/2 "2001-11-21T05:16:25Z")
_If you like to talk to tomatoes If a squash can make you smile If you like to waltz with potatoes Up n’ down the produce aisle…_ ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2001, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-any-vegetable/94545/3 "2001-11-21T05:25:33Z")
_I eat my peas with honey, I’ve done it all my life. It makes them taste quite funny, But it keeps them on the knife._ [sub]Thanks, Mr. Nash.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![whatmove](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ecc23a/32.png) [@whatmove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whatmove)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2001, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-any-vegetable/94545/4 "2001-11-21T07:54:27Z")
_Put me on the witness stand At any gosh-darned trial Even under oath I’ll swear The corn will make you smile_ ---
**Author:** ![Cabbage](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@Cabbage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cabbage)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2001, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-any-vegetable/94545/5 "2001-11-21T08:18:35Z")
A prune isn’t really a vegetable. Cabbage is a vegetable. ---
**Author:** ![Cougarfang](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c67d28/32.png) [@Cougarfang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cougarfang)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2001, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-any-vegetable/94545/6 "2001-11-21T08:38:54Z")
ah, well, no place for a carnivore like me, eh? guess i’ll just round up a coupla Scylla’s ewes and see what havoc they’ll wreak… YAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! just kidding, just kid- YOWP! _sound of cat getting booted off a thread_ ---
**Author:** ![Wind\_Sorceress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a87d85/32.png) [@Wind\_Sorceress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wind_Sorceress)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2001, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-any-vegetable/94545/7 "2001-11-21T10:34:30Z")
Vegetables! To insult someone properly, you call them any vegetable, esp. a “cabbage”. Another reason I like vegetables- the easiest transformation spell. (Be happy I don’t turn most people, like _Cougarfang_ into one.) ---
**Author:** ![Cougarfang](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c67d28/32.png) [@Cougarfang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cougarfang)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2001, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-any-vegetable/94545/8 "2001-11-21T12:10:03Z")
ah-HEM! [sub]yes, ma’am, Miz Cougarfang, padded your post count, ma’am…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2001, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-any-vegetable/94545/9 "2001-11-21T12:26:48Z")
_Roses are red. Green Beans are green. I sure hope you think, Green Beans are keen._ 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![GrandfatherTrout](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f17d59/32.png) [@GrandfatherTrout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandfatherTrout)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2001, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-any-vegetable/94545/10 "2001-11-21T15:07:49Z")
_The vegetable will respond to youuuuuuuuu… [la laaa la laaaaaa!]_ ---
**Author:** ![Skelji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Skelji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skelji)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2001, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-any-vegetable/94545/11 "2001-11-21T15:15:47Z")
“Eat your vegetables”, Mom would say, “or else you’ll get no pie!” So I had to ditch my peas and carrots, and do it on the sly. The threat of getting no dessert just made me sit and pout. So I tossed my veggies on the floor, but the stupid dog just spit them out. ---
**Author:** ![Many\_Crows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/35a633/32.png) [@Many\_Crows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Many_Crows)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2001, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-any-vegetable/94545/12 "2001-11-21T15:19:37Z")
Beans beans good for the heart The more you eat the more you ah, toot The more you toot the better you feel So eat your beans at every meal Author unknown ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2001, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-any-vegetable/94545/13 "2001-11-21T15:28:47Z")
_I’ve heard the screams of the vegetables Watching their skins being peeled Grated and steamed with no mercy How do you think that feels? Carrot juice constitutes murder Greenhouses prisons for slaves It’s time to stop all this gardening Let’s call a spade a spade._ ---
**Author:** ![Gartog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/22d042/32.png) [@Gartog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gartog)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2001, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-any-vegetable/94545/14 "2001-11-21T16:05:16Z")
When I was a little lad, The thought of veggies made me sad Dessert to me were always fed Between each spoon of veg, they said. I think my ryhme needs one last line. But I can’t think of one 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2001, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-any-vegetable/94545/15 "2001-11-21T16:15:49Z")
I’m gonna be round my vegetables I’m gonna chow down my vegetables I love you most of all My favorite vege-table If you brought a big brown bag of them home I’d jump up and down and hope you’d toss me a carrot I’m gonna keep well my vegetables Cart off and sell my vegetables I love you most of all My favorite vege-table I tried to kick the ball but my tenny flew right off I’m red as a beet 'cause I’m so embarassed I know that you’ll feel better When you send us in Your letter an’ Tell us the name of your Your favorite vege-table I know that you’ll feel better When you send us in Your letter an’ Tell us the name of your Your favorite vege-table ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2001, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-any-vegetable/94545/16 "2001-11-21T17:47:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cabbage \* > \*\*Cabbage is a vegetable. \*\* Oh. It’s my cabbage head, isn’t it? This bothers me: if a guy has an English accent, you’re all wet; you’re a lake. But if a guy has a little green on his head, you puke. THAT’S sexual discrimination. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Great\_Gazoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@The\_Great\_Gazoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Great_Gazoo)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2001, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-any-vegetable/94545/17 "2001-11-21T18:48:56Z")
\*Call any vegetable and the chances are gooood… The vegetable will respond to you… la da di daaaaa… The vegetable will respond to you… la da di daaaaa… -