# "Call me" assholes **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 3, 2014, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-assholes/682784 "2014-03-03T23:09:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2014, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-assholes/682784/41 "2014-03-04T19:32:26Z")
> [@robert\_columbia](#): > > My sentiments exactly. My mother is notorious for doing this. “Call me”. “Mom what is it?” “Please call me”. It makes me worry - did my brother get sliced in half by an out-of-control tractor trailer and I need to identify his body in the morgue? Can I piggyback on this? My dad’s health is very, very bad right now, and isn’t going to get any better. I’m trying to spend as much time with him as I can right now, and I’m careful to make sure I have my phone charged and nearby, in case there’s an emergency. I mention this to make it clear that I would not, normally, stop having sex with my boyfriend to answer my phone. But when my mom calls me at 12:30 at night, well, that’s a call I should really take. Which is how I ended up standing in my boyfriend’s living room, naked, sticky, and experiencing mild cardiac arrest, while my mom laid out in some detail the dinner options open to me when I came by the house the next day. ---
**Author:** ![perfectparanoia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a5b964/32.png) [@perfectparanoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/perfectparanoia)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2014, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-assholes/682784/42 "2014-03-04T19:41:57Z")
It took me years to train my mother to leave context with both texts and voicemails. She has a tendency to do more than one thing at a time. Which means whenever she leaves a message, she sounds extremely stressed. Has caused many a heart attack for me. Now, I get, ‘Can you call me about \?’ or ‘Just calling to chat.’ > [@buddy431](#): > > On a related topic, I’m just amazed by how often people are getting in contact with each other. > > My Mom and I have a very set schedule for talking on the phone: I call her every Sunday evening, and we can talk about everything that’s come up in the week. Otherwise there’s e-mail, but usually we only use that if there’s something that can’t wait until Sunday, or if there’s something best conveyed in writing. We do occasionally have to call each other during the week, but if we do we’ll leave an e-mail like “call me tonight so we can talk about xxx that’s due on Friday” or whatever. > > My girlfriend’s constantly getting messages from her Mom: how are you, call me, what do you think about xxx, etc. It’s just constant, and with the minimum amount of information conveyed with each exchange, which pretty much guarantees that there will be more exchanges… I don’t really know why she puts up with it; I certainly wouldn’t. Just to comment on this. My mother and I talk on the phone maybe once a week if there is an emergency (usually of the I need parenting advice variety). Otherwise, we have text conversations. That’s right. Almost constantly. We might not answer each other for hours and it’s usually banal. But there’s this thing; my mom and I LIKE this. That’s right, both of us. We get opinions, updates, etc. It rocks. As long as it’s not bothering anyone else, I don’t see the constant chatter as a problem. ETA: now, when I get an email, I know I’m in trouble. ---
**Author:** ![tim-n-va](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim-n-va/32/3001_2.png) [@tim-n-va](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tim-n-va)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2014, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-assholes/682784/43 "2014-03-04T20:46:38Z")
> [@naita](#): > > So the problem is actually that they don’t read your messages? Just like you didn’t read what you wrote? This part was agreement with the OP: > [@](#): > > I agree that some context is important. This part was addressing the comments as to why you wouldn’t just call yourself since sending a text involved a phone at both ends. > [@](#): > > However, I don’t track my sons’ daily schedule and they could be asleep, in a meeting, etc. and my question isn’t important enough to interrupt anything but is too detailed to put in a text. If I were to receive a “call me” text from someone I frequently communicate with, I wouldn’t assume someone died. It would be different if it were from a more distant relative who I didn’t talk to that often. ---
**Author:** ![Jim\_Pearce](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Jim\_Pearce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jim_Pearce)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2014, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-assholes/682784/44 "2014-03-04T20:53:51Z")
Wow, this is such a non-issue. I can’t believe I wasted 3 minutes reading some of it. ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2014, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-assholes/682784/45 "2014-03-04T20:54:43Z")
Thanks for your input. ---
**Author:** ![Flywheel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Flywheel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flywheel)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2014, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-assholes/682784/46 "2014-03-04T20:59:27Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > [Background music pairing for this thread.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kgIxuOhuKxU&feature=kp) [Another option.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXFiMuE4ylE) ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2014, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-assholes/682784/47 "2014-03-04T21:28:34Z")
Now see I have the opposite problem. Sometimes I have an amusing story to tell and texting doesn’t relay the correct humor to make it a fun anecdote. But I have a certain friend who would rather text the fun right out of it. Me: Call me later, I have a funny story Fr: What is it? Me: Funny thing happened I want to tell you about it. Fr: What happened? Me: It’s about Joe. I will tell you tonight. Fr: Did he get arrested again? Me: Yes but let me tell you later Fr: Was it drugs? Me: No, prostitution Fr: OMG! Tell me Me: I will, later Fr: I gotta know! Where? etc. Sucks all the fun out of the story. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2014, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-assholes/682784/48 "2014-03-05T15:37:54Z")
> [@Anonymous User](#): > > Because texting takes longer and there can be a lot of miscommunication whereas on the other hand, a simple call can explain things within seconds. It’s a lot faster and easier, you know? That. I don’t have a clue why people send text messages rather than just calling or leaving a voice message, most of the time. Do you really like wasting time and energy? ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2014, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-assholes/682784/49 "2014-03-05T16:04:57Z")
Because my husband can’t take phone calls (including voice mail) on the job but can check texts. ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2014, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-assholes/682784/50 "2014-03-05T16:11:32Z")
> [@clairobscur](#): > > That. > > I don’t have a clue why people send text messages rather than just calling or leaving a voice message, most of the time. Do you really like wasting time and energy? Because a phone call will always take longer. ---
**Author:** ![tapu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/49beb7/32.png) [@tapu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tapu)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2014, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-assholes/682784/51 "2014-03-05T16:18:55Z")
I know a few people who will post publicly on fb, the message “Call me” to a friend or in a comment to the friend’s post. I always take it as a social pissing contest. ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2014, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-assholes/682784/52 "2014-03-05T16:30:42Z")
Yeah, no. In the same vein, I’m not going to get up and go to another room in the house because of a vague, calm “come here.” “What.” “Just come here.” “No. What do you want?” “Do you remember if we ran out of \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_?” “Yes, we have, and I was fully capable of remembering that fact from the comfort of this couch.” ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2014, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-assholes/682784/53 "2014-03-05T18:02:13Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > An email or text will leave a “paper trail” that can be discovered and used in litigation, or otherwise fall into unfriendly hands. A voice call is less risky that way, but still may be recorded. Ding! That’s how my lawyer trained me. Anything written can be presumed to be usable against one. Voice communications much less. Try having your hard drive ghosted sometime as a result of litigation. It changes one’s whole perspective. ---
**Author:** ![russian\_heel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f05b48/32.png) [@russian\_heel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/russian_heel)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2014, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-assholes/682784/54 "2014-03-05T18:12:56Z")
Depends who the “call me” person is. If its my boss, my wife, or my mother, Im figuring its something very important and make the call. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2014, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-assholes/682784/55 "2014-03-05T18:45:08Z")
Years ago, bored and drunk, I texted a number of people: “WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU???” It has turned into a kinda meme that my friends have shared/discussed over the years. Most people assumed they had agreed to meet me or pick me up somewhere. They freaked out, texting back apologies and such. My brother was the only one who took it as a simple question and texted back, “grocery store. And you?” ---
**Author:** ![gazpacho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6f9a4e/32.png) [@gazpacho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gazpacho)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2014, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-assholes/682784/56 "2014-03-05T19:44:52Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Years ago, bored and drunk, I texted a number of people: “WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU???” > > It has turned into a kinda meme that my friends have shared/discussed over the years. Most people assumed they had agreed to meet me or pick me up somewhere. They freaked out, texting back apologies and such. My brother was the only one who took it as a simple question and texted back, “grocery store. And you?” In the civilization 5 video game they have a quote reportedly from Mark Twain. “I once sent a dozen of my friends a telegram saying ‘flee at once - all is discovered.’ They all left town immediately.” ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-assholes/682784/57 "2014-03-06T15:26:26Z")
I freely admit to sending texts or leaving voicemails for my friends and family that are pretty much “Hey, call me when you get a minute” and having received similar. To date, none of us have snatched up the phone immediately in a lather about what horrific tidings await, but then again we have kind of a presumption that if something’s important, the message will be more along the lines of “Call me as soon as you get this, it’s important.” In a business context, however, that’s just bullshit. It’s common courtesy (and provides a better experience for everyone involved) if you give someone a chance to pull up and review the relevant portion of your file before calling you back. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2014, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-assholes/682784/58 "2014-03-06T15:32:39Z")
> [@armedmonkey](#): > > Question: Why would anybody use a phone to text someone “call me” when they could use the phone to, and I know this sounds crazy, call the person they wanted to talk to? Well, most of my friends and family have chunks of time when their phone ringing is A Bad Thing, and those chunks vary by person and often by day of the week. It’s easier to just text “call me when have a minute” than to sit there trying to remember if someone is at work or class right now, or if this is the night they get pissy about the phone ringing because it disrupts their favorite show. Also, some people almost never answer the damn phone when it rings, but are _all over_ text messages the second they come through. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2014, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-assholes/682784/59 "2014-03-08T02:45:45Z")
> [@tim-n-va](#): > > I agree that some context is important. However, I don’t track my sons’ daily schedule and they could be asleep, in a meeting, etc. and my question isn’t important enough to interrupt anything but is too detailed to put in a text. I’m still of the opinion that it’s the job of the person of the phone to make sure their phone won’t ring in a bad situation. Texting is going to make their phone make a noise, too, if they haven’t put it on silent. ---
**Author:** ![Talkto\_tyler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/71e660/32.png) [@Talkto\_tyler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Talkto_tyler)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2014, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-assholes/682784/60 "2014-03-08T02:56:32Z")
> [@robert\_columbia](#): > > A lot of people seem to have a very aggravating tendency to be very vague when sending emails and text messages. A lot of times, the message will simply be “call me”, and they will refuse to provide any more information even after I have replied asking what the matter is about. They have this fixation on synchronous verbal communication and don’t seem to trust email and texting for some reason. > > What is it with these “please call me” assholes? If the matter isn’t important enough for you to write one or two sentences, then it isn’t important enough for me to spend the time to call you over it. I’m not illiterate, I can read a text message or email and don’t have to have it read out to me verbally. If I have a question about what you have written, there is a reply button and I can ask for clarification without us needing to schedule a synchronous verbal linkage. When a man says ‘call me’ to a woman,it’s a sign he is not ready. A woman ideally is pursued,meaning the man initiates calling. While dating him,he initiates the calling during the first few weeks. The above is good relationship building technique. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-assholes/682784.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-assholes/682784.md?page=4)