# "Call me Elizabeth T./Cause there's no more Dick for me!" Ted Haggard straight again **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 8, 2007, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-elizabeth-t-cause-theres-no-more-dick-for-me-ted-haggard-straight-again/391291 "2007-02-08T00:42:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2007, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-elizabeth-t-cause-theres-no-more-dick-for-me-ted-haggard-straight-again/391291/61 "2007-02-09T22:07:13Z")
[QUOTE=Sean Factotum] “Leprosy All my skin is falling off of me I’m not half the man I used to be Oh how did I get leprosy?” [/QUOTE] Leprosy…is crawling all over me There goes my eyeball…into you highball There’s goes my fiiiiingernail into you gingerale ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2007, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-elizabeth-t-cause-theres-no-more-dick-for-me-ted-haggard-straight-again/391291/62 "2007-02-10T02:38:32Z")
[QUOTE=betenoir] Leprosy…is crawling all over me There goes my eyeball…into you highball There’s goes my fiiiiingernail into you gingerale [/QUOTE] There goes my eeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaar Into your beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer Isn’t it amazing how similar the silly little joys of childhood are, across such a wide range of upbringings? ---
**Author:** ![Annie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/858c86/32.png) [@Annie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2007, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-elizabeth-t-cause-theres-no-more-dick-for-me-ted-haggard-straight-again/391291/63 "2007-02-10T05:03:21Z")
…cause these guys are making with the sweet Ted-loving [haiku!](http://www.iidb.org/vbb/showthread.php?t=195747) ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2007, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-elizabeth-t-cause-theres-no-more-dick-for-me-ted-haggard-straight-again/391291/64 "2007-02-10T05:30:15Z")
Them’s limericks, **Annie** , not haiku, but yes indeed some of them sure are funny. My fave: > [@](#): > > Pastor Ted confessed a strong urgin’ > To engage in some homosexual mergin’ > But the other guy squealed > And his secret revealed, > So now he’s a born-again virgin. ---
**Author:** ![Annie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/858c86/32.png) [@Annie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2007, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-elizabeth-t-cause-theres-no-more-dick-for-me-ted-haggard-straight-again/391291/65 "2007-02-10T05:35:57Z")
Shit, don’t revoke my English degree! ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2007, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-elizabeth-t-cause-theres-no-more-dick-for-me-ted-haggard-straight-again/391291/66 "2007-02-10T16:04:50Z")
[QUOTE=Sean Factotum] Reminds me of a John Valbee (sp?) song: “Leprosy All my skin is falling off of me I’m not half the man I used to be Oh how did I get leprosy?” [/QUOTE] Nah, that’s the Beatles’ “Yesterday”. Still pretty funny, though. Robin ---
**Author:** ![scotandrsn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@scotandrsn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scotandrsn)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2007, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-elizabeth-t-cause-theres-no-more-dick-for-me-ted-haggard-straight-again/391291/67 "2007-02-10T16:14:42Z")
[QUOTE=Annie] …cause these guys are making with the sweet Ted-loving [haiku!](http://www.iidb.org/vbb/showthread.php?t=195747) [/QUOTE] Looking over that page, we need (in addition to Pukey) a “Not Worthy” smiley. ---
**Author:** ![Annie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/858c86/32.png) [@Annie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2007, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-elizabeth-t-cause-theres-no-more-dick-for-me-ted-haggard-straight-again/391291/68 "2007-02-10T19:22:24Z")
[QUOTE=scotandrsn] Looking over that page, we need (in addition to Pukey) a “Not Worthy” smiley. [/QUOTE] Whoa, now! If we can’t get consensus on Pukey, how do you think people will react to animated smilies?? 😃 (For the record, I’m OK with either. Just not animated Pukey…) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-elizabeth-t-cause-theres-no-more-dick-for-me-ted-haggard-straight-again/391291.md?page=3)