# Call me ThreadKiller(TM)! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 31, 2007, 10:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-threadkiller-tm/413800 "2007-07-31T10:16:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 75
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2007, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-threadkiller-tm/413800/1481 "2007-08-27T02:15:40Z")
Sorry guys, got to go for a while. No one gets to shoot the sheriff while I’m gone. ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2007, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-threadkiller-tm/413800/1482 "2007-08-27T02:16:10Z")
\ ***Kat** steps on **Auto** ’s hand and then trips over him, falling face first onto the floor. Damn. This is no good at all. **Miss fisha** is going to fire her for sure. She struggles into a seated position and stares blankly at the poker players. Now _they_ have a mighty fine looking bottle of whiskey at their table. She hiccups and thinks about standing up, but it seems like too much trouble.\* ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2007, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-threadkiller-tm/413800/1483 "2007-08-27T02:17:27Z")
_munches popcorn, watching the show_ ---
**Author:** ![fisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@fisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fisha)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2007, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-threadkiller-tm/413800/1484 "2007-08-27T02:18:27Z")
[QUOTE=TokyoPlayer] Sorry guys, got to go for a while. No one gets to shoot the sheriff while I’m gone. [/QUOTE] You and all your inseminating. Good luck! ---
**Author:** ![SSG\_Schwartz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SSG\_Schwartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSG_Schwartz)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2007, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-threadkiller-tm/413800/1485 "2007-08-27T02:24:43Z")
[QUOTE=fisha] You and all your inseminating. Good luck! [/QUOTE] Wait, I thought we weren’t supposed to shoot the sheriff. Who tried to inseminate him. 😛 SSG Schwartz ---
**Author:** ![fisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@fisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fisha)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2007, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-threadkiller-tm/413800/1486 "2007-08-27T02:27:05Z")
\*As miss fisha sweeps down the stairs, she can see the \*\*SSG \*\*playing a hand with the poker players, and **Miss Kat** draped over that good for nothin’ drunk **Auto.** As she walks over to Miss\*\* Kat\*\* and pulls her to her feet, she hisses under her breath, “Keep those boys occupied, especially that one in black. There’ll be a present from the whiskey fairy if you do what I tell you.” Kicking **Auto** in the head once more, she glances around the dimly lit room, noticing that Sheriff **Player** has left for parts and duties unknown. She also notices the local peeping Tom peering through the grimy windows, munching popcorn.\* ---
**Author:** ![Hockey\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a183cd/32.png) [@Hockey\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hockey_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2007, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-threadkiller-tm/413800/1487 "2007-08-27T02:32:21Z")
\*The rumble of a stagecoach can be heard as it comes into town. It comes to a stop outside \*\*Miss Fisha’s \*\* place, a seedly little saloon with a bad reputation. The horses prance and snort as the driver gets down to assist his passenger out of the coach. **Miss Fisha** glances up from the bar to see a woman extend her hand to the stage driver and gracefully step down to the hard-packed dirt of the road. The stranger lifts her skirts to avoid getting her hems soiled, and walks with a purpose into the dark saloon. All the men stop what they are doing to look at the woman. She senses the tension as soon as she enters. She turns to look back at the stagecoach, and all she sees is her travel case sitting on the warped boards of the steps. Her only means of escape had just left, with the crack of a whip, and a whirling cloud of dust. “Oh, well” she thinks to herself, “Since I’m here, I’ll try to make the best of it.” She walks up to the bar as **Miss Fisha** looks her up and down. “Are you **Miss Fisha**?” she asks. “I’m the girl you sent for. I’m the best girl this side of Tombstone. At least that’s what they tell me. The name is **H. Mon Key**. Where should I put my things?”\* ---
**Author:** ![SSG\_Schwartz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SSG\_Schwartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSG_Schwartz)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2007, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-threadkiller-tm/413800/1488 "2007-08-27T02:33:55Z")
\*As **Miss Kat** approaches the table, the man in black looks her up and down. She is unsteady on her feet, but she may have some information to share. He pulls her down to the seat next to his and says, “I’ve got a good hand and but I need to talk to you.” **Miss Kat** slides closer as the saloon doors swing open again. Reflexively \*\*Schwartz \*\*goes for his guns. \* SSG Schwartz ---
**Author:** ![fisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@fisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fisha)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2007, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-threadkiller-tm/413800/1489 "2007-08-27T02:34:50Z")
_Grumbling to herself, Miss fisha is thinking she doesn’t need a Sheriff, or a gunslinger, or even a whore with a heart of gold. What she really need is a **fucking hall monitor** _ _to settle this once and for all._ _But she’ll take the awe inspiring vision who just walked through the door. This woman will distract these rough and ready men for hours._ ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2007, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-threadkiller-tm/413800/1490 "2007-08-27T02:39:04Z")
-Heh. I’m running too far behind.- ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2007, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-threadkiller-tm/413800/1491 "2007-08-27T02:40:55Z")
\ ***Dog the Bounty Hunter** kicks open the swinging doors. I’ve got me some bear mace, attitude, and Christ. Now who needs to get hunted down, miss **fisha**?\* ---
**Author:** ![fisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@fisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fisha)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2007, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-threadkiller-tm/413800/1492 "2007-08-27T02:44:06Z")
_“ **Miss Key** , I am so glad you’re here. You are truly a vision. Would you like to freshen up from your long trip, or would you rather rinse the dust from your throat from all that traveling?”_ \*“Here, let me take your bags” Miss fisha graciously takes \*\*Miss Key’\*_s belongings, stepping gracefully around **Miss Kat** , who’s still hiccuping, clutching her rabbit’s foot looking dazed by the turn of events. Miss fisha promptly dumps them on **Auto** , still lying prone, drool dribbling out of the side of his mouth. He snorts a little at the heavy impact._ ---
**Author:** ![SSG\_Schwartz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SSG\_Schwartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSG_Schwartz)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2007, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-threadkiller-tm/413800/1493 "2007-08-27T02:44:21Z")
\ ***H. Mon Key** is the most beautiful woman the \*\*Sergeant \*\*has ever seen. He can only hope she will live up to her reputation. He reholsters his weapons and gets up to offer her his hand, shakes **Kat** off his let and says, “How you doin’?” At this moment, a hall monitor has found a time portal and appeared in the saloon.\* SSG Schwartz ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2007, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-threadkiller-tm/413800/1494 "2007-08-27T02:45:02Z")
\*Not being stupid (just tipsy, that’s all), **Kat** ducks under the table when the doors are kicked up. The Man in Black, what’s-his-name, already has his guns out, and seems mighty jumpy, so she’s not taking any chances. The fact that the whiskey bottle and half of the money on the table goes with her is entirely coincidence. She takes a quick drink and wonder what The Man in Black wants to talk to her about, and how much it’s worth to him.\* ---
**Author:** ![fisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@fisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fisha)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2007, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-threadkiller-tm/413800/1495 "2007-08-27T02:47:54Z")
\ ***Dog.** The Priest turned bad. One of the few survivors of the Donner party, he knew what it took to be the last one standing. He might be trouble.\* ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2007, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-threadkiller-tm/413800/1496 "2007-08-27T02:50:11Z")
_You’re right, missy. He might. Let me have words with him. he better have a hall pass…_ ---
**Author:** ![Hockey\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a183cd/32.png) [@Hockey\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hockey_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2007, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-threadkiller-tm/413800/1497 "2007-08-27T02:52:38Z")
\*“Why thank you **Miss Fisha** , I’m sure that gentleman lying in a pool of his own waste matter will be able to manage taking my bag upstairs. At some point. For now, I will take you up on your offer of a drink. My throat is quite parched.” **Miss Mon Key** is approached by a man in black with an air of authority around him. But maybe that is just because of the two big revolvers strapped onto his lean hips. “I heard they call you the Thread Killer. What’s your name handsome?”\* ---
**Author:** ![SSG\_Schwartz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SSG\_Schwartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSG_Schwartz)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2007, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-threadkiller-tm/413800/1498 "2007-08-27T02:53:25Z")
\*With **Dog** present, Beth Allbreast may appear. The team may be strong enough to finally kill this thread or bring it to justice. As \*\*Dog \*\*refuses the drink that is passed to him, Miss **fisha** worries about where her girls have run off to, and if she should run also. \* SSG Schwartz ---
**Author:** ![SSG\_Schwartz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SSG\_Schwartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSG_Schwartz)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2007, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-threadkiller-tm/413800/1499 "2007-08-27T02:57:52Z")
[QUOTE=Hockey Monkey] \*“Why thank you **Miss Fisha** , I’m sure that gentleman lying in a pool of his own waste matter will be able to manage taking my bag upstairs. At some point. For now, I will take you up on your offer of a drink. My throat is quite parched.” **Miss Mon Key** is approached by a man in black with an air of authority around him. But maybe that is just because of the two big revolvers strapped onto his lean hips. “I heard they call you the Thread Killer. What’s your name handsome?”\* [/QUOTE] \*“You can call me **Sarge** , what’s a nice place like this doing around a girl like you?” he asks as he moves her to the table he has been playing cards. \* ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2007, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-threadkiller-tm/413800/1500 "2007-08-27T03:02:16Z")
_Anyone got an idea where that no good rascal, the priest went? I’m fixin to have words…I’m liable to…hold the varmint down and fart on his face if he doesn’t give me the information I’m lookin’ for…_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-threadkiller-tm/413800.md?page=74) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/call-me-threadkiller-tm/413800.md?page=76)