# Calling All Authors, The Return **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 11, 2002, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-authors-the-return/97499 "2002-03-11T04:56:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![RaCha\_ar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c2a13f/32.png) [@RaCha\_ar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaCha_ar)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2002, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-authors-the-return/97499/41 "2002-03-29T18:22:06Z")
::sprinkles coochie dust all around:: ---
**Author:** ![Yondan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/278dde/32.png) [@Yondan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yondan)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2002, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-authors-the-return/97499/42 "2002-03-29T18:34:07Z")
:: In a state of rapturous grace as cootchie duct imbues me with the divine essence that is ouor Goddess:: I am willing, O Glorious One, should you will it, to take on the task of bringing to some resolution the poor story we have eked out of our humble brains for your pleasure. Say so, and it will be done. ::Bangs head on floor repeatedly:: Further, O Stern and Lovely Force of Nature, simply whisper and screaming hordes of demons will rise up at your command and devour those who do not remain loyal to the drafting of stories. Well, maybe they will. I don’t know. It sounds cool, though. ---
**Author:** ![RaCha\_ar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c2a13f/32.png) [@RaCha\_ar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaCha_ar)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2002, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-authors-the-return/97499/43 "2002-03-30T00:11:01Z")
I see your point, **Yondan** , and I share your frustration, but it seems that this entire thing has stagnated since the old board fell down went boom. 😕 Should we start e-mailing people again? ---
**Author:** ![Ferrous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Ferrous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferrous)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-authors-the-return/97499/44 "2002-04-02T20:17:09Z")
Hallooooooooooo… ---
**Author:** ![Yondan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/278dde/32.png) [@Yondan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yondan)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-authors-the-return/97499/45 "2002-04-02T20:45:17Z")
‘allooooo’ ‘loooo’ ‘oooo’ The sounds echoed off the insides of his skull like bats, trying to find their way home. It had gotten really dull in this town, maybe it was time to move on. He didn’t know for sure. It was too bad really. There was quite a boom goin here at one time. This must be a bit what it felt like in Harlem when all the arts just kinda died away, or when those teeny towns out west just stopped breathing when the gold or the oil or the grass got all dug up, sucked out, or eaten. Kinda makes me think of that movie **The Commitments** , about that group of kids in Ireland who discover their souls in song, but then crash and burn before they can become famous, and that horn player tells the band’s leader, “It’s better this way. Sure we could have gone on and hit the big time, but this way, it’s _poetry_.” Time to turn the page, maybe. Start a new book, a new story. ::The Big Y shrugs, picks up his shotglass and eyes it against the stray beam of sunset coming in through the cracked window of the bar. Then he turns the glass over and sets it on the bar, uspide down, pulls the lapels of his trenchcoat tight, and walks out into the street.:: ---
**Author:** ![tavalla](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tavalla/32/89_2.png) [@tavalla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tavalla)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-authors-the-return/97499/46 "2002-04-04T01:17:46Z")
::Grabs the Big Y and hauls him back into the bar:: Hang on just a moment there. We are _one lousy segment_ away from finishing our story, and I want to know how it turns out. I’m gonna email **Tretiak** and give him a gentle prod about finishing the yarn. If he doesn’t respond, or can’t do it, then either **Yondan** , **Jane D’oh** or I will put up the final chapter. We can arm-wrestle or something for the privilege. 'Kay? ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-authors-the-return/97499/47 "2002-04-04T02:44:40Z")
My group’s waiting on **bobkitty** still it seems. Hey, **bobkitty** - don’t make me come over there! ---
**Author:** ![bristlesage](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/edb3f5/32.png) [@bristlesage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bristlesage)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-authors-the-return/97499/48 "2002-04-04T02:45:19Z")
Does anyone know where **bobkitty** is? Should I page her or email her? Because our story might just be starting, but it still needs finished, darn it. I’m hooked on creepy Gavin, I tell ya. ---
**Author:** ![bristlesage](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/edb3f5/32.png) [@bristlesage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bristlesage)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-authors-the-return/97499/49 "2002-04-04T02:49:00Z")
Darn you, **Crunchy Frog** and your nifty simulposts, too. By the way, when I said that I was expecting these kinds of posts from you after reading the “Welcome Wagon”, that was a good thing. Just the sort of twisted sense of humor I was hoping to be joined with in this story-writing endeavor. Sorry the reply to that comment is so late. Hey, and **bobkitty** , if you post to the story again, I can give up Final Fantasy III for awhile. Think of the hours of 16-bit opera agony you’ll be saving me! ---
**Author:** ![RaCha\_ar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c2a13f/32.png) [@RaCha\_ar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaCha_ar)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-authors-the-return/97499/50 "2002-04-04T02:55:28Z")
::listens to Baby Jesus bawl:: ::spreads coochie dust:: ::looks sad:: ☹ I’d like us to have at least one story finished for submission to the next Teeming Millions newsletter. Has everyone who was at first involved checked back in since the board came back up? ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-authors-the-return/97499/51 "2002-04-04T03:57:26Z")
I’ve been keeping an eye on this. Last time I checked, there’s been no new posting for Group C. ---
**Author:** ![RaCha\_ar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c2a13f/32.png) [@RaCha\_ar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaCha_ar)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-authors-the-return/97499/52 "2002-04-04T04:08:06Z")
**Oreo** hasn’t checked back in here, and I don’t recall seeing her anywhere else on the board either. Does anyone know if Oreo’s made it back? ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-authors-the-return/97499/53 "2002-04-04T04:26:39Z")
And I just want to say, I _love_ the thought of **RaCha’ar** sharing her coochie with us. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ferrous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Ferrous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferrous)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-authors-the-return/97499/54 "2002-04-04T17:10:25Z")
I just did a little search for y’all. **Oreo** has posted a few times in the last 2 weeks, including once yesterday. Want me to e-mail her(?)? And, **belladonna** , I know you’re out there somewhere. How’s every little thing?😃 ---
**Author:** ![RaCha\_ar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c2a13f/32.png) [@RaCha\_ar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaCha_ar)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-authors-the-return/97499/55 "2002-04-04T17:19:42Z")
If you could, **Ferrous** , I’d love you forever. Extra coochie for you. And you, too, **Your Frogliness** , since you seem to like it so much. ;D ---
**Author:** ![Ferrous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Ferrous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferrous)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-authors-the-return/97499/56 "2002-04-04T18:50:57Z")
Okay, e-mail reminder has been sent. Incidentally, I really want to kick my own ass for my preceding post. I said to **bella** , “I know you’re out there somewhere”, and now I’ve got that god-awful Moody Blues song stuck in my head!:mad: ---
**Author:** ![Oreo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/c57346/32.png) [@Oreo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oreo)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-authors-the-return/97499/57 "2002-04-04T19:19:29Z")
I’m here! I’m here! Good lord…how did I miss this thread? When we went through the Great Depressing Loss of the Board, I forgot all about this. I actually have my segment stored away somewhere, though, so it’s just a matter of finding it and posting it. Hopefully tonight! (It’s at home, and I’m at work right now…sooo…) My deepest, most sincere apologies to all, especially RaCha’ar. (Thanks for the email, Ferrous!) ---
**Author:** ![RaCha\_ar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c2a13f/32.png) [@RaCha\_ar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaCha_ar)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-authors-the-return/97499/58 "2002-04-04T20:27:06Z")
Aww, it’s okay **Oreo**! :🤗: we’re just glad to see you back! ---
**Author:** ![Yondan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/278dde/32.png) [@Yondan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yondan)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2002, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-authors-the-return/97499/59 "2002-04-05T19:07:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tavalla \* > \*\*::Grabs the Big Y and hauls him back into the bar:: > > Hang on just a moment there. We are _one lousy segment_ away from finishing our story, and I want to know how it turns out. > > I’m gonna email **Tretiak** and give him a gentle prod about finishing the yarn. If he doesn’t respond, or can’t do it, then either **Yondan** , **Jane D’oh** or I will put up the final chapter. We can arm-wrestle or something for the privilege. > > 'Kay? \*\* ::The **Big Y** blinks, looks up and see the bar’s ceiling from an angle he had not previously contemplated, and wonders how he arrived in this undignified posture. The last thing he recalls was a sharp tug on the collar of his trenchcoat… Dusting himself off, he hears that Aussie **Tavalla** dame issue some kind of challenge… some kind of wrestling, is all he can make out through the ringing in his ears. Mmm…this could be interesting. Jello? Mud? Chocolate pudding? Whatever kind of wrestling she wants, she’ll get it, the **Big Y** thinks to himself, recalling fondly the long, slow looks he’d invested surreptiously over the months, catching glimpses of a shapely thigh through a slit charcoal-grey skirt across the hazy, half-lit room, the top of a stocking just visible at the apex. He was sure she had a snub-nosed .38 tucked in there, too. Now that was a woman to know better. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![tavalla](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tavalla/32/89_2.png) [@tavalla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tavalla)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 9:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-authors-the-return/97499/60 "2002-04-08T09:38:38Z")
Us Aussie girls know how to make an impact 😃 I haven’t heard a peep out of **Tretiak** since I sent that email in, so here’s an idea for Group A. Three alternate endings - we’ll each put one up, just for something different. That is, if **Yondan** and **Jane D’oh** are agreeable. [sub]For the record, Jello wrestling. With plenty of whipped cream.[/sub] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-authors-the-return/97499.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-authors-the-return/97499.md?page=4)