# Calling all bad punsters, and the ghoulish-minded **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 7, 2003, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-bad-punsters-and-the-ghoulish-minded/206048 "2003-10-07T13:33:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Kizarvexius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/da6949/32.png) [@Kizarvexius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kizarvexius)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2003, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-bad-punsters-and-the-ghoulish-minded/206048/21 "2003-10-07T18:23:15Z")
Ice Scream Punk-in-bread or punk-in-pie Sirloin staked Ratataille (pronounced rat-tat-tail-y) Sufferin’ succotash Devil’s eggs Anything with beats (beets) Dr. Scholl’s corn bread (serve with liver and bunions) Virgin oil – contains no olives “Chick” fillet Bostonian baked w/ beans Peeking duck French flies Set out an empty coffin and call it a “light bier” (ducking). Or, for true horror, list the actual ingredients of more standard fare: horse hooves in Jell-o, waxy extract from insects in M&M’s, anything included in hot dogs… ---
**Author:** ![peri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/67e7ee/32.png) [@peri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peri)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2003, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-bad-punsters-and-the-ghoulish-minded/206048/22 "2003-10-07T19:49:43Z")
Napoleons Elephant ears Grasshoppers (the drink) Lady Baltimore cake Johnny cakes Birds’ nest soup Scalloped legs Grilled tuna with Rosemary Hoppin’ John Manhattan clam chowder Flesh and chips Vietnamese spring rolls Irish stew Candied Ginger Grilled Pattys and Franks Hero sandwiches ---
**Author:** ![sultana\_of\_slash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@sultana\_of\_slash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sultana_of_slash)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2003, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-bad-punsters-and-the-ghoulish-minded/206048/23 "2003-10-07T20:35:24Z")
Sloppy Joe’s? So sorry the following isn’t a pun, but it deserves addition. I made it once, and, gawrsh, it looks awful. Tastes fine. Kitty Litter Cake Ingredients: 1 18.5-ounce package spice cake mix 1 18.5-ounce package white cake mix 2 4-serving packages instant vanilla pudding mix 1 12-ounce box vanilla wafer cookies, crushed 6 to 10 Tootsie Rolls Confectioner’s sugar 1 brand-new kitty litter pan 1 brand-new plastic pooper scooper Green food coloring Plastic flies (optional) Prepare the cakes and pudding according to package directions. Crumble the baked cake into the kitty litter pan, then add the pudding and mix. Add a few drops of green food coloring to 1 cup of the cookie crumbs and set aside; mix the rest into the pan. Soften the Tootsie Rolls by placing in the microwave for 10 seconds on high, and shape to resemble cat droppings. Arrange the Tootsie Rolls on top of the cookie-pudding cake mixture; sprinkle all with green cookie crumbs. Decorate with plastic flies, if desired. Serve with pooper scooper. ---
**Author:** ![More\_Cowbell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@More\_Cowbell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/More_Cowbell)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2003, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-bad-punsters-and-the-ghoulish-minded/206048/24 "2003-10-07T20:40:32Z")
Monsterella Sticks Halloweena Poppers KillaMary Bruschdeada Ghoulash Beat Soup ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2003, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-bad-punsters-and-the-ghoulish-minded/206048/25 "2003-10-07T23:04:48Z")
Worm-icelli. Angel’s hair. meatloaf made with Meat Loaf. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-bad-punsters-and-the-ghoulish-minded/206048/26 "2003-10-08T06:21:38Z")
Of course (heh!), you’ll want to use the headline “BILL of Fare”. Appetizers: Monte-Ray-Jack cheese, Olives Seafood: Amberjack, monkfish, and (although they’re actually freshwater fish) let’s kill all the [lawyers](http://www.icefishingworld.com/articles/eel-pout.html). ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-bad-punsters-and-the-ghoulish-minded/206048/27 "2003-10-08T06:36:51Z")
Blood Pudding. Smothered Chicken. " At least we knew how it died" Monkey Brain Soup. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![lachesis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@lachesis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lachesis)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-bad-punsters-and-the-ghoulish-minded/206048/28 "2003-10-08T14:15:28Z")
thanks one and all for your excellent help. i think we’ve got a respectable menu assembled now. here’s what made the cut: Today’s Specials Soup du jour: Clem Chowder or Creamy Tommy toe Chef’s salad (posted sign nearby – Wanted: well-rounded chef) Chuck roast Chuck steak Ground Chuck Steak Diane Hungarian goulash (made with real Hungarians!) Fettuccini Alfred O. Crepes Suzette Patty cakes Adam’s apple pie Daily Menu _Salads and appetizers (We use our fabulous Virgin oil for cooking and in all our salad dressings, so it’s safe for those allergic to olives)_ Peg-in-a-blanket Devil’s eggs Fried Monsterella sticks Oysters Rockefeller Monty-Ray-Jack cheese with Olives Caesar salad Bird’s nest soup Monkey Brain soup _Quick Meals for the Ghoul on the Go_ Virginia hand sandwich with cold Slav Barbecued baby back ribs with blue-eyed peas Chilly dogs with hushed puppies Hot dogs with Bostonian baked in beans Open-faced sandwiches with French flies Shepherd’s pie Canadian bakin’ with potatoes au rotten Person-alized pizza Quiche Lorraine Deviled ham sandwich Blackened filet of soul with dirty rice Fried brains Grilled Monkfish filets _Dinner Entrees_ Standing rib roast with sufferin’ succotash Hunters’ stew with Dr. Scholl’s corns bread Roast beast with whipped and beaten potatoes Chicken a la King with cat-head biscuits Grilled liver and young un’s General Tso chicken Moo Goo Guy in a pan Spaghetti and eyeballs Blood sausage with red eye gravy Mom’s Heart-y stew Kid-knee pie Shrimp Diablo with devil’s hair pasta Smothered chicken (at least we know how it died) _Desserts_ Head cheese with blood oranges Plump-kin pie with I scream Punk-in-bread Lady fingers with Candied Ginger bits in whipped cream Pecan Sandy I Scream Will Nilla I Scream with Brandy sauce Girl Scout cookies Death By Chocolate Devil’s food cake Napoleans Lady Baltimore cake Blood pudding **Ask for today’s available beverage types …it’s been a very good year for O-positive** _Special occasion? Ask us about our prix fixe seven-corpse dinner banquet._ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-bad-punsters-and-the-ghoulish-minded/206048.md?page=1)