# Calling all Frog Gods **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 4, 2000, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-frog-gods/12570 "2000-01-04T06:55:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![IHeartUncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/d2c977/32.png) [@IHeartUncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IHeartUncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2000, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-frog-gods/12570/41 "2000-01-05T22:26:00Z")
Hi UncleBeer! ---
**Author:** ![Minxsmom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d07c76/32.png) [@Minxsmom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Minxsmom)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2000, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-frog-gods/12570/42 "2000-01-05T22:38:00Z")
I was always the Princess of the Time and Space Continuum. Can I get an upgrade? * * * OK, we have enough youth. How about a fountain of smart. =^…^= ---
**Author:** ![Minxsmom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d07c76/32.png) [@Minxsmom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Minxsmom)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2000, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-frog-gods/12570/43 "2000-01-05T22:44:00Z")
B\_Line said: > [@](#): > > I just decided… from now on you can call me… IamTheDuckGodQuack!!! Thanks a whole bunch B\_Line. I’m at work. I read that and burst out laughing. Now I’m in trouble. I’ll get you for this as soon as I am granted my upgrade. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2000, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-frog-gods/12570/44 "2000-01-05T22:47:00Z")
You guys could auction off species…after all, collections from cows, cats, frogs, etc. must be a trifle lame. Just think what you could get for the God of the White Rhinoceros position! Though you might have to mark down stuff like God of the Naked Mole Rats or Duckbill Platypus God. ---
**Author:** ![pluto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f08c70/32.png) [@pluto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pluto)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2000, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-frog-gods/12570/45 "2000-01-05T23:09:00Z")
If **Kat** and **CatRandom** have legitimate gripes about having been forced to work hard for their deification while others seem to be coasting in, imagine how I feel! I’ve been at this for millenia! (I haven’t always been Pluto – part of the time I was Hades and for a brief period I was The God of the Underworld Formerly Known As Hades.) Even **Satan’s** a relative newcomer. ## I’m thinking of subletting portions of my domain, however. Anyone interested in becoming the god of sulfurous fumes? Or perhaps three-headed dogs? Cash only please. No others need apply. _De gustibus non est disputandem_ ---
**Author:** ![Sassy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@Sassy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sassy)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2000, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-frog-gods/12570/46 "2000-01-05T23:40:00Z")
Actually David, my friend Bill has been Frog God since about 1979. Also, Quack resides the the Bay Area and would be surprised to have others using his name. Just thought you should know… (leaving it to you all to figure out what sort of goddess is red-haired, green-eyed and a graduate of the Hayward School for Wayward Girls…) * * * I am a redhead, you see, and I do not tempt. I insist. -Cristi ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2000, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-frog-gods/12570/47 "2000-01-05T23:56:00Z")
Polycarp stated and I > [@](#): > > You guys could auction off species… Yeah, but what happens when a species evolves? Does the God of that species evolve, too? And what about extinctions, can a God cease to exist? –UncleBeer, God of Canned Worms– * * * Easy one-step assembly instructions. Pour **Beer A** in **Uncle B**. ---
**Author:** ![N\_oR\_jVIaL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce7236/32.png) [@N\_oR\_jVIaL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/N_oR_jVIaL)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2000, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-frog-gods/12570/48 "2000-01-06T00:27:00Z")
## “N oR jVIaL is certainly unpronounceable.” Hey Unc, you’re the first person that’s ever spelled NoRjabedoiNg exactly right. I wish I could reward you with eternal fizz in your suds or something. Unfortunately, I’m really just the god of that suF in the center of Oreos, but if I work my way up to beer-foam I’ll remember you. ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2000, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-frog-gods/12570/49 "2000-01-06T00:28:00Z")
Sheesh, this deity stuff is a lot more expensive and paperwork-intensive than I thought. Well, can I be a minor spirit of something? (I \*like\ spirits!) You know, like dryads are spirits of streams or something. Besides, the way things are going, I’d end up being the deity of tapeworms because that was all that was left. So…how 'bout it? Can I be the spirit of, oh say, Swiss Army knives? Veb ---
**Author:** ![Daniel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Daniel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daniel)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2000, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-frog-gods/12570/50 "2000-01-06T00:40:00Z")
BunnyGirl: yep. Farmer’s my favorite author. And while I loved the Riverworld series, I really wish he never bothered to write “Gods Of Riverworld”. The series is much better without it. ---
**Author:** ![Catrandom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7bcc69/32.png) [@Catrandom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catrandom)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2000, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-frog-gods/12570/51 "2000-01-06T02:28:00Z")
Well, if pluto can’t even protect himself from deities-come-lately, what are Kat and I to do? Not to mention the Cowgod himself… Sigh. Catrandom (and when did UncleBeer get a groupie?) ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2000, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-frog-gods/12570/52 "2000-01-06T02:35:00Z")
Hey, I’d be willing to pay a nominal fee to be a goddess. What I really want, though, is a card that actually _says_ I’m the Goddess of Notepaper Cubes. Something to show my friends. So, where do I sign? ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2000, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-frog-gods/12570/53 "2000-01-06T05:32:00Z")
Well, IIRC, cowgod needs you to post an application that includes 1. Your name 2. Divine position desired 3. Qualification The actual fee is dependent on the species you are applying to nurture and guide through life. Cowgod should be able to quote you a fee when he receives the application. He then passes on the application and the fee to the Council of Elders, along with his recommendation for their approval. * * * Your Official Cat Goddess since 10/20/99. “We are here! You are saved!” --R. & F. ---
**Author:** ![David\_God\_of\_Frogs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f9b8f/32.png) [@David\_God\_of\_Frogs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/David_God_of_Frogs)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2000, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-frog-gods/12570/54 "2000-01-06T06:54:00Z")
Okay this system works out well, if we all choose one animal, but where did the poster GOD come into this? who appointed him that position? And where does Cecil come into this? ---
**Author:** ![Byzantine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dfb087/32.png) [@Byzantine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Byzantine)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2000, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-frog-gods/12570/55 "2000-01-06T07:15:00Z")
Byzantine: God of oral pleasure. At least I think he’s calling me God. He screams, “Oh God!” so I’m just ASSUMING… ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2000, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-frog-gods/12570/56 "2000-01-07T01:38:00Z")
Hey, people? I just cut my finger on the edge of a can of delightfully sweet, canned cling peaches. How do I file for Temp/Gods’ Workman’s Comp? * * * “Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.”----Jung ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2000, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-frog-gods/12570/57 "2000-01-07T04:57:00Z")
I would assume that the poster GOD is the God of Humans, which would, of course, be a subordinate position to major deities, such as cowgods, elephant goddesses, cat goddesses, canned cling peaches gods, staple gods, etc., and may not even be subject to the screening process.\* Cecil is, of course, the Deity of Knowledge and received his position automatically at birth. \\*Thank Heaven that GOD has a sense of humor. :)\ * * * Your Official Cat Goddess since 10/20/99. “We are here! You are saved!” --R. & F. ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2000, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-frog-gods/12570/58 "2000-01-07T12:02:00Z")
I know how all this meters out, but I’m not telling. ---
**Author:** ![Minxsmom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d07c76/32.png) [@Minxsmom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Minxsmom)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2000, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-frog-gods/12570/59 "2000-01-08T00:49:00Z")
I’ve heard nothing from the committee yet. Since no news is good news, I am assuming that my upgrade was approved. ## (Going to put my new title in my sig line now - see ya later) 🙂 OK, we have enough youth. How about a fountain of smart. =^…^= ---
**Author:** ![Studi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Studi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Studi)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2000, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-frog-gods/12570/60 "2000-01-08T00:57:00Z")
I am the God of Bluntness * * * “What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?” --W.C. Fields [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-frog-gods/12570.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-frog-gods/12570.md?page=4)