# Calling all International Dopers - It's a cultural swap meet! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 20, 2002, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-international-dopers-its-a-cultural-swap-meet/119999 "2002-07-20T19:03:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2002, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-international-dopers-its-a-cultural-swap-meet/119999/41 "2002-07-23T12:05:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by sjc \* > \*\*Are we talking Pim Fortuyn(sp?)? He’s dead, I know, but aren’t those the best kind? > > (Not being from Holland I can’t actually propose a deal, however I don’t think The Netherlands deserved Pim, couldn’t the U.S. take him off their hands?) \*\* Personally, I don’t think _any_ country deserves politicians like him. I’m shocked that he was murdered, but I don’t think a racist demagogue (the racism was well disguised at times, but it was there) like him belongs in politics to begin with. His party went on to gain 26 seats in the house, making them the second party. The Crhistian Democrat/Conservative/“Pim Fortuyn” List coalitian was sworn in yesterday at 1 PM. [The latter party has four minister positions, and a bunch of deputy ministers.](http://www.cnn.com/2002/WORLD/europe/07/22/netherlands.pm/index.html) Incidently, the “hard-line LPF member, Hilbrand Nawijn” quoted in the article above was a _Christian Democrat_ member of the municipal council for the town of Zoetermeer _as recent as last week_. He joined the LPF **last wednesday** because they offered him a minister position. And then this quote: “Incoming Health Minister Eduard Bomhoff, an economics professor who was a Labour member until recently, has written deeply critical comments about the new coalition’s plans on health and its tight budget restrictions.” Yup, another opportunistic git who changed parties to score a high profile job. Way to go. What the article failed to report: in great comic style, ms. [Bijlhout](http://www.expatica.com/index.asp?pad=2,18,&item_id=24224) announces her resignation as a State Secretary **9 fucking hours after being sworn in by the Queen** , because she had lied about the timing of her membership of the Surinam People’s Militia, an extremist organisation by Desi Bouterse, responsible for a series of political killings in December of 1982. This coalition has disaster written all over it. New, fresh influences in politics are always welcome. Opportunistic lying assclowns aren’t. The first time in my life that I have completely ZERO confidence in our government. Oh, well. In a year, we’ll be at the voting booths again. This is shooting fish in a barrel for the opposition. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2002, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-international-dopers-its-a-cultural-swap-meet/119999/42 "2002-07-23T12:24:11Z")
Way to rain on the parade, **Coldie**. Anyway, we could use some rain around here. To the countries offering up rain in trade, USA could offer in return tasty, high fat food with absolutely no nutritional value. I’ve a bag of Brach’s new _Popz_ offering in the fridge: chocolate coated carmel popcorn. Twice the taste, twice the calories, twice the fat. ---
**Author:** ![manwithaplan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f1d935/32.png) [@manwithaplan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manwithaplan)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2002, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-international-dopers-its-a-cultural-swap-meet/119999/43 "2002-07-23T12:28:11Z")
Ireland here. We read the small print on the licence that came with Miss Minogue and have discovered that we are entitled to automatic upgrades as new models come on the market. Please deliver Natalie Imbruglia and Holly Valance within 21 days or we’ll see you in court. As a goodwill gesture, you can have bacon and cabbage, Guinness Extra Cold and Cork. Can’t say fairer than that ---
**Author:** ![sirtonyh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ad7895/32.png) [@sirtonyh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sirtonyh)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2002, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-international-dopers-its-a-cultural-swap-meet/119999/44 "2002-07-23T13:01:54Z")
UK Here. Holly Valance and Natalie Imbruglia are still at present under Australia ownership. Negotiate with them, not us. By the way, the have some seriously scary shit out there so be cautious in your negotiations. Send them bacon and cabbage and they will probably inundate you with all kind of scary shit that either slithers or bites you on the ass while you are evacuating your bowels. They have been open to alcohol related trades in the past though so I’d lead with the Guiness proposal and take it from there. ---
**Author:** ![melly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@melly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melly)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2002, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-international-dopers-its-a-cultural-swap-meet/119999/45 "2002-07-26T18:48:10Z")
US here. Anyone want (Bill) Clinton? He comes with book deals, speaking opportunities, and probably a prostitute or two. (UK, seeing as you’ve already got Chelsea at Oxford, could another Clinton really hurt? Think it over.) Also, Bush is negotiable…for all you good strong countries that want to rid evil of your lands. Furthermore, if there are any countries out there that wish to bring more business in, Enron is up for grabs. As well as Tyco, WorldCom, K-Mart, ect. Speaking of K-Mart, Martha Stewart is on sale today. No further explanation is needed. All we want in return is better airport care. Standing in line for 3 friggin’ hours to have someone go through your bag is utterly retarded. Nicole Kidman wouldn’t hurt. We’re open to all countries offering vehicals that are willing to give us cars with reasonable gas milelage. Also, for my own personal use, could the UK import some Brits that say the word “yellow” constantly. I love how that sounds 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2002, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-international-dopers-its-a-cultural-swap-meet/119999/46 "2002-07-26T19:56:41Z")
Just don’t take any **Vegemite** from Oz… Nasty, nasty stuff… Here in El Lay, we’ve got a lovely police department to trade… Anyone? ANYONE? _Oh come on! Pleeeeeze???_ ---
**Author:** ![Bomzaway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e480ec/32.png) [@Bomzaway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bomzaway)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2002, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-international-dopers-its-a-cultural-swap-meet/119999/47 "2002-07-26T20:31:24Z")
We’ve got a few dozen over-paid baseball, basketball, and American football players that we’d like to trade for some soccer players that can get us closer to the cup finals. Be forewarned however, that some of them may suffer from drug problems, phsychosis due to steroid abuse, bi-polar afflictions, and/or subject to bouts of violence, wife abuse, or general stupidity. ---
**Author:** ![anyrae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e495f1/32.png) [@anyrae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrae)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2002, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-international-dopers-its-a-cultural-swap-meet/119999/48 "2002-07-27T05:14:35Z")
Umm ok even though I suppose Florida doesn’t anything to say about this whole – here take Florida business, I would just like to offer to take Pauly Shore, Kylie whoever, Tom Green, Nicole Kidman, even Alan Thicke, well maybe only for a couple months in the summer – if we can Puuhh leeezze return Celine Dion! I mean I am willing to even live with this Kylie broad, if only I know that Celine has been sent away, far, far away. And whoever has her frozen clones or whatever they are, just loose them or accidentally unplug the freezer.(sorry, harsh I know, but it is for the good of humanity) Oh yes and BTW, you goofy assed fellow US-ers are complaining about needing rain and HELLOOO?? you just traded Florida?! Ok, ok I agree with the mosquito/humidity/gator/swamp stuff, but come on, the whole US map would look so lame if it weren’t for the little dangle down in the bottom right corner. On behalf of the state of Florida, we will forgive you for the oversight if you will reconsider. ---
**Author:** ![TitoBenito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2acd7d/32.png) [@TitoBenito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TitoBenito)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2002, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-international-dopers-its-a-cultural-swap-meet/119999/49 "2002-07-27T06:11:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NightRabbit \* > \*\*…and we’ll throw in the state of texas for free 😃 \*\* Texas will leave if and only if we don’t have to take back Bush. He’s your problem now. Ha ha ha ha. Cheney too. Now Florida California, and Alabama will have to work double time to embarrass the rest of the country. I know its a big job to fill now that Texas is gone but I have faith. Oh and also with the help of that state that keeps on electing Ted Kennedy, I forget it’s name. JJ/K ---
**Author:** ![Lodrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@Lodrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lodrain)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2002, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-international-dopers-its-a-cultural-swap-meet/119999/50 "2002-07-27T06:36:53Z")
But **anyrae** , Florida’s gotta go. The dangly peninsula is making the East Coast kinda tilt towards Cuba, with the combined weight of that whole Maine-Vermont-New Hampshire peninsula-thing and the megalopolis between Washington and New York. Pretty soon, we’re gonna collide with Cuba - and then all hell will break loose. Communism and lots of err, Cuban stuff flooding Florida. So… Sweden? Germany? Come on, I want my speed-limitless highways and socialized medicine, Og-darnit, don’t make me call Canada! ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2002, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-international-dopers-its-a-cultural-swap-meet/119999/51 "2002-07-27T06:55:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by WV\_Woman \* > \*\*Ya’ll can have Hollywood. We don’t even have to trade! \*\* I’d like to add the requirement that upon acquisition of said Hollywood you immediately release on DVD unedited versions of everything you can get you hands on. I mean come on, you make money on this! Oh, one more thing, it must be NTSC. _mutter "I can’t even watch “Men in Tights!” mutter_ I have to offer the World’s greatest waves for surfing and waters so warm most people don’t wear wetsuits. I have an extra volcano around here somewhere as well. It hasn’t erupted in 18 years but she’s a real beauty when she does. In return I’d like some relaxed nudity laws. Nothing much, maybe just some topless sunbathing. Now get this together with those boobies on late night TV and things will be rocking. ---
**Author:** ![sirtonyh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ad7895/32.png) [@sirtonyh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sirtonyh)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2002, 10:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-international-dopers-its-a-cultural-swap-meet/119999/52 "2002-07-27T10:09:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by anyrae \* > \*\*I mean I am willing to even live with this Kylie broad, if only I know that Celine has been sent away, far, far away. \*\* Does the phrase “out of the frying pan and into the fire” mean anything to you? Celine is bad. Very bad. And that Titanic song is enough to make you jump overboard. But even she has to be better than the “singing budgie”. Hell, I’d take Bush, Clinton, Pauly Shore and Celine Dion just so I never, ever have to listen to Kylie again. Note: the word singing is typically used in a satirical context when associated with Kylie ---
**Author:** ![sirtonyh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ad7895/32.png) [@sirtonyh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sirtonyh)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2002, 10:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-international-dopers-its-a-cultural-swap-meet/119999/53 "2002-07-27T10:13:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rico \* > \*\*Just don’t take any **Vegemite** from Oz… > > Nasty, nasty stuff… > > * * * ROFLMAO I sometimes wonder why Australia is such a popular country; they’ve given the world Vegemite, Kylie, Rolf Harris and its home to pretty much every single species of animal capable of killing a human being. ---
**Author:** ![Loopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loopus/32/15343_2.png) [@Loopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopus)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2002, 10:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-international-dopers-its-a-cultural-swap-meet/119999/54 "2002-07-27T10:23:34Z")
I’d throw in the best whisky in the world, but I’m afraid we can’t part with it. 😛 We do have lots of sheep and frightfully cold weather. Make an offer! Also, any Texan want to trade some good barbeque for some haggis? ---
**Author:** ![athene1765](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/67e7ee/32.png) [@athene1765](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/athene1765)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2002, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-international-dopers-its-a-cultural-swap-meet/119999/55 "2002-07-27T14:01:10Z")
I would gladly trade an entire crate of barbecue (complete with wax paper for y’all’s plates and plastic spoons for the potato salad) for a full two-and-a-half weeks of Scotland’s weather during Texas summer. We be boilin’ down here. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Tir\_Tinuviel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@Tir\_Tinuviel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tir_Tinuviel)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2002, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-international-dopers-its-a-cultural-swap-meet/119999/56 "2002-07-27T14:22:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bernse \* > **One wolverine** I’ll take the Wolverine off your hands, providing we are talking about the Marvel version. 😃 In return I could offer some interesting masturbation colloquialisms and Cockney Rhyming Slang [sub](the Bo Bells NOT included).[/sub] Deal? ---
**Author:** ![StormFireUSA](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cab0a1/32.png) [@StormFireUSA](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StormFireUSA)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2002, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-international-dopers-its-a-cultural-swap-meet/119999/57 "2002-07-27T14:53:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by athene1765 \* > \*\*I would gladly trade an entire crate of barbecue (complete with wax paper for y’all’s plates and plastic spoons for the potato salad) for a full two-and-a-half weeks of Scotland’s weather during Texas summer. We be boilin’ down here. 🆒 \*\* Come on, Y’all don’t need it as bad as we do… 113 degrees and dust storms, with a 4 year drought in Arizona - Gladly traded for cool rain from somewhere in Europe 😃 ---
**Author:** ![StormFireUSA](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cab0a1/32.png) [@StormFireUSA](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StormFireUSA)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2002, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-international-dopers-its-a-cultural-swap-meet/119999/58 "2002-07-27T14:57:31Z")
I’ll even throw in Golf Tournaments in January, and all those water-guzzling golf greens, for wild greenery, and forests that aren’t on fire. ---
**Author:** ![athene1765](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/67e7ee/32.png) [@athene1765](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/athene1765)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2002, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-international-dopers-its-a-cultural-swap-meet/119999/59 "2002-07-27T14:58:43Z")
True…you have dust and lack of rain, we have PLENTY of rain we could lend you. But I am not looking forward to August one BIT…It has been a mild summer, I admit, except for the horrible floods. 🙂 Besides, while I do live in the most wonderful city in Texas (imho the best in the country), we do suffer from terrible, throat-clenching allergies. I haven’t breathed properly since winter. If it’s not the cedar, it’s the mold, if it’s neither, we can surely find some ragweed or strangely large amounts of dust. ---
**Author:** ![Orual](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/779978/32.png) [@Orual](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orual)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2002, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-international-dopers-its-a-cultural-swap-meet/119999/60 "2002-07-27T16:18:54Z")
Hey Japan, I’ve got a great deal for ya: the entire Disney corporation for Hayao Miyazaki. And we’ll gladly hand over the Powerpuff Girls and Spongebob Squarepants, and if you will just tell us the secret formula for Pokemon-B-Gon. Hell, take all of Nickelodeon, just tell us how to get rid of them! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-international-dopers-its-a-cultural-swap-meet/119999.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-international-dopers-its-a-cultural-swap-meet/119999.md?page=4)