# Calling all polyglots! Funny translations needed for answering machine. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 16, 2004, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-polyglots-funny-translations-needed-for-answering-machine/250705 "2004-06-16T18:08:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![bdandhr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9d8465/32.png) [@bdandhr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bdandhr)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2004, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-polyglots-funny-translations-needed-for-answering-machine/250705/21 "2004-06-16T23:44:09Z")
Okay, I’ll bite, being new… Why do you need the Aussie accent to sound like a foreign language? I about died when I read aloud the suggestion from **Inigo Montoya**!!! You have some real decisions here about what to choose!! ---
**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2004, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-polyglots-funny-translations-needed-for-answering-machine/250705/22 "2004-06-17T00:17:15Z")
No particular reason, **bdandhr**. I rotate my messages frequently and it would be, I dunno, whimsical and silly to treat some impenetrable Aussie slang as “another language.” One time I growled incomprehensibly like Ooka the Mok (from Thundarr the Barbarian) and called it “a translation into Mok, for the benefit of my friends who speak Mok.” ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2004, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-polyglots-funny-translations-needed-for-answering-machine/250705/23 "2004-06-17T00:29:35Z")
Australian is practically a foreign language already. 🙂 Just pick some of the juicier slang. (I still don’t know what a ‘hoon’ is, for example…) And if you want something really obscure, you could try [Tokipona](http://www.tokipona.org/): _ike li kama_ = bad-thing it comes-or-occurs = shit happens. ---
**Author:** ![Vision\_of\_Love](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Vision\_of\_Love](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vision_of_Love)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2004, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-polyglots-funny-translations-needed-for-answering-machine/250705/24 "2004-06-17T07:15:23Z")
> [@Inigo Montoya](#): > > You said it right. Damn, I’m several hours slow. ☹ My parents actually speak some Arabic. Apparently I never learned. ---
**Author:** ![auRa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c4cdca/32.png) [@auRa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auRa)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2004, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-polyglots-funny-translations-needed-for-answering-machine/250705/25 "2004-06-17T12:07:24Z")
Finnish: En ole kotona juuri nyt. Ole hyvä ja jätä viesti. = I’m not home right now. Please leave a message. Olen eksynyt jättimäiseen emmentaljuustoon. Jätä viesti niin palaan asiaan heti, kun olen syönyt tieni ulos. = I have gotten lost in a gigantic piece of Swiss cheese. Leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I’ve eaten my way out. Mitä? Pääskynen kuljettamassa kookospähkinää?! = What? A swallow carrying a coconut?! Aargh! Jalkani! Se järsii jalkaani! = Aargh! My leg! It’s gnawing on my leg! Vesihiisi sihisi hississä. = The water spirit hissed in the elevator. A Finnish tongue twister, sometimes used in phoniatrics to practise the ‘s’ sound. Hope those are helpful… 🙂 Incidentally, some pronunciation guides: - a word in Finnish is pronounced like it’s spelled 99% of the time. - there’s a difference between single and double consonants (‘mato’ is worm, ‘matto’ is carpet) and single and double vowels (‘kuusi’ means six, ‘kusi’ means piss) --so make the distinction. vowels: - The ‘a’ sound is like the long ‘a’ in ‘far’. - ‘ä’ is like the ‘a’ sound in ‘cat’. - ‘e’ is like in ‘met’. - ‘i’ is like the ‘ey’ sound in ‘key’. - ‘o’ is pretty much like in English, but shorter, almost like it’s cut short before the end - ‘u’ is like the ‘oe’ in shoe. - ‘y’ and ‘ö’ are two sounds which I don’t think exist in English. Y: start saying ‘eeeee’ in English and then purse your lips while continuing to make the sound. What you’ll get is pretty close to the ‘y’ sound. Ö is kind of like the ‘e’ sound at the end of ‘matter’ or ‘cover’, but not really. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2004, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-polyglots-funny-translations-needed-for-answering-machine/250705/26 "2004-06-17T12:31:18Z")
Japanese: _messeiji o nokoshite kudasai_: please leave a message. _kaijyuu-nyuu ga anmari oisikunai_: monster-milk doesn’t taste very good. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2004, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-polyglots-funny-translations-needed-for-answering-machine/250705/27 "2004-06-17T12:32:57Z")
That first word should be _messeji_ rather than _messeiji_. same pronunciation, just shorter. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2004, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-polyglots-funny-translations-needed-for-answering-machine/250705/28 "2004-06-17T13:17:21Z")
I think I might want to put some of these on my answering machine. I’ve been confusing the telemarketers with Esperanto long enough. 🙂 **auRa** , what about the Finnish consonants? Is ‘j’ like English y? Finnish: extremely cool langiage. Want to go back to Helsinki. :: heavy sigh :: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-polyglots-funny-translations-needed-for-answering-machine/250705.md?page=1)